Chapter 4:
"I saw your face when that girl ran over to you. I saw how you reacted when Shane said her name. You had that same look when Carl had his first reaction to peanuts... Just sheer panic… and I saw her earlier that day. I saw it in her face too. She realised who I was before I recognised her…"
Rick kept his gaze low, spinning his wedding ring with his thumb as his wife spoke.
"You ran to her. You ran to her like she was your life line in front of everybody! Everyone saw my husband leave my side to be with another woman!"
"Lori. I told you what had happened. I told you we can't continue on like this-"
She shook her head, her brow furrowing as her lip curled in disgust, "Did you go looking for her to have sex?"
"No. That wasn't why I went to look for her" He frowned at the accusation, "I needed to know that she was okay-"
"What does that even mean?"
"She's gone through a lot" His tone had more base to it as he spoke, "She left here on her own and I just wanted to make sure she was fine-"
She released a shaky breath, "Did she know you were married?"
"Does it matter? I'm the one that's married to you-"
"Exactly! You're the one that's married and you cheated on me with..." She stopped hissing at him as her eyes widened again, "You slept with her while she was pregnant with another man's child?"
He sat forward as he raked his fingers through his hair.
"You slept with her… she wasn't in her early days either, I saw her and she was… and you still" Her eyes searched his face, as she stopped pacing once again, her arms back at her sides, "Do you love her?"
He froze, as he wasn't expecting that question.
Lori's face fell blank as she sat back, "You do. You love her"
"I.. I-"
"You are not leaving me Rick. You are not leaving me for her-"
He frowned as he straightened up, "I-"
"You will not!" She insisted angrily as she pointed at him, "I will not be the talk of this town! You will not have people look at me as the woman whose husband left her for some tramp! No. You don't get to do this to me! You don't get to shame me this way after everything I've done!"
Rick sat back in his chair, letting her have her outburst. He was glad Carl was at the neighbour's home, and not around to hear his mother scream at him.
"You think I never wanted to be with someone else?", She breathed through a clenched jaw, a stray tear rolling down her cheek, "You think I wanted this life? When I dreamt of getting married as a little girl, I thought it would be with someone I loved and who loved me back! But no, I was damn near bred to marry you! And this is the thanks I get? I saved your family's reputation all those years ago. I gave you and your parents that picture perfect family. I've played my role and this is how you repay me?"
His knee bounced as he watched her, his thumb still spinning the wedding band, "You're right"
She stared at him.
"You have played your role", He sighed as he sat back in the chair, "I'm sorry for betraying you. For lying to you and for being unfaithful. You didn't deserve to be on the receiving end of any of that… I'm sorry for only loving you as the mother of my child, and not my wife… And I don't regret anythan', any of the years we spent together, because we would have never had Carl… but I shouldn't have asked you to marry me, and I regret letting you pour so much in to something that was one sided"
She hadn't moved, and Rick wasn't sure if she had even blinked.
"I never meant to hurt you, I never wanted to hurt you, but I fell in love with someone at the wrong time, and she came back at the wrong time…" He shook his head as he rose from the chair, "I'm not gonna up and leave you. I won't do that, we can sort somethan' out, and I'll continue to be there for my son, but our marriage… we both deserve to be happy and we can't keep forcing ourselves to pretend. It's not fair on either of us and most importantly Carl"
She squinted at him, "Are you going to her?"
He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, "I'm gonna be there for her-"
"You think your parents will let you?"
He looked at her with disbelieving eyes.
"They won't. They won't let you run off with her and you know it-"
"My parents can't stop me from doing a damn thang", He delivered harshly, "I'm not running off with anyone, she's here, and I'll be there for her-"
Lori slammed her hand on the table, "You go near her and I will make sure you don't get to step a foot near Carl again!"
"What did you say to me-"
"You heard me! If you go and see her, then we're gone!", She growled at him.
He cocked his head at her, "You'd try to keep my son from me Lori?"
"I wouldn't try, I would. And you know my parents would help"
He stepped back, shocked at her threat. He had never seen his wife behave so vindictively, he didn't think she was capable of making such loaded threats. He slowly nodded as he weighed up his options.
"I always knew you'd turn out like my mother…", He rolled his tongue across his teeth as he considered his decision, "I said I'm sorry for what I did, and I meant it. Even after everythan' you just said to me, I mean it. I'll always regret doing that to you, but you won't force me to stay with you. You won't use my son against me. Now I'm gonna go and see her, and if I come back and you're gone… then I will do whatever it takes to stop you from keeping him from me. No one will make me choose between the two, because I will fight for both"
He left her glaring at him. He knew Lori had all right to be angry with him, and he expected her to be, but he never expected her to be so vindictive. When he first broke the news of his act with Michonne, she acted as if he hadn't said anything at all, the only reason he left the discussion alone was because he figured she just needed time to accept it. He wondered if, had the day had gone differently, she would have continued to pretend nothing had happened.
Anxiety built in his chest when he realised what he was letting himself in for. He didn't want to have to fight for his son, but he was more than willing to if Lori was serious. He'd couldn't admit his fault in the situation any more than he already had but to take his son from him would be a far greater crime.
He hoped the drive to the hospital would help calm him, but alas, he was still very mad. He made his way through the building, trying to rid himself of his ill feelings. He arrived on the floor Michonne was staying on and took slow, deep breaths as he walked down the hall. When approached the door, he knocked and waited, instantly regretted not bringing something for her.
"Come in!"
He pushed open the door and was greeted to a heart-warming sight. She was sat with Andre in the crook of her arm, feeding him with the smallest bottle Rick had ever seen. She smiled at him and he smiled back as he closed the door. She was still adorned with band aids, her hand held the bottle awkwardly as it was in a cast.
"Hey", She turned her attentions back to her son.
"How are you two doing?", He kept his voice low, as not to wake the baby.
"We are doing great… how about you?"
He nodded as he looked down at them, "Yeah… I'm fine"
Her eyes crept up to meet his, "Is this an official visit?"
He sighed, take a seat on the bed facing her, "I haven't heard anythan', but the last I checked, he was still unconscious… they'll call us when they plan to wake him… he'll be watched until he gets out, though I don't think he can go far with his injuries"
She stared at Andre as she listened, then finally gave a small nod.
"He won't get away with this", He insisted, tilting his head to catch her eyes, "I'll make sure of it"
She sighed, removing the bottle from the sleeping baby, "Yeah…"
He bit his bottom lip as he watched her, wishing he could offer her more than just his word.
"Tara? Have you seen her? He pushed her-"
"She was fine when I left her, but if you want me to check on her I will. I'm sure she gave Sasha her details'-"
"Please?"
"Alright, I will"
"Thanks…", Her eyes still latched on her son, "How's… everything at home?"
He snapped his eyes shut as he shook his head, "A mess but… I'll deal with it"
She frowned at him as she rested Andre against her shoulder, "Do you want to talk about it?"
"...I don't think I want to… It'll make it all too real"
She gave an understanding nod as she rubbed small circles on her sons back, "Yeah. I get that… I'm sorry-"
"Don't be. Don't ever be. You haven't done anythan' wrong, it's… it's all my fault. I let my mom, my dad, this whole town run my life. I don't feel like I've ever truly had control of any aspect of it all… I feel like a fool for it… but not anymore. The only thing that I have is my son and… I won't let them control me through him too"
Her gaze dropped to his hands, "I don't want to be the reason you don't see your son Rick-"
"You won't be-"
"I will be", She said sternly, "Don't come back here"
He frowned as he slowly sat back to look at her.
"What do you think's going to happen? You think you can divorce your wife with no problem, your parents are going to accept everything, then you, me and our kids can go run off into the sunset? You won't ever have a happy ending with me. I don't get happy endings", She rolled her eyes as she wiped a stray tear away.
His eyes dropped down to Andre in her arms, "You're holding one right now"
She shook her head as she looked down at him, "My only one…"
He rested his hand on her thigh, "I know what I'm doing and I know what I want my end result to be. I'm not expecting everything to fall into place because these things take time and it won't be easy, but It's what I want…"
She sighed, staring at him with tired eyes.
"What do you want?"
"I want…", her eyes slid down to his hands again, "A chance… at us"
He took her bad hand gingerly in his and kissed her fingers that stuck out the end of the cast, "We will have our chance"
He was over the moon to hear that she wanted the same thing as he did. He felt like he had the strength to handle all that would be coming his way.
He didn't stay too long at the hospital, as he knew he had to get home to see what was happening with his home situation. He knew that Lori would tear Carl away from his friend's home, as he often did spend the Sundays there.
His mood soon soured when he saw his parent's car parked in front of his home. He scoffed to himself for expecting anything different. Lori was going to pull out all the stops to keep him in check, and the first line of defence was obviously his parents. He parked his car in the driveway and strolled up to his home.
Lori was sat on the couch beside his mother, while his father sat in the recliner beside them. Rick walked into the living room and took a seat in the opposite recliner, wearing a stoic expression. His mother's old eyes watched him sternly, while his father was leaning forward, his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped.
"Lori told us what happened", His mother spoke first, her voice was thick with dread.
Rick nodded slowly, his expression cemented on.
"Would you care to explain yourself?"
"The only person I need to explain myself to is Lori, and I did that already", His tone was calm, but cutting.
His mother's face tightened, "So it's true? You really are trying to leave your beautiful, pure family for… that"
"I'm not leaving my son. I'll never leave my son, and I don't know what that means"
"Don't you dare toy with your mother, boy", His father warned, his brown eyes flashing with anger.
"Boy?", Rick repeated dryly, his lip curling at the word.
His mother started, "You need to remember where we stand in this community. Your father may not be mayor anymore but that does it give you the right to-"
"To do what I want?", Rick finished.
"Exactly! You still have a duty to this family and a responsibility-"
"My son will still be looked after, that won't change. And I'm not leaving Lori high and dry either-"
"You are not leaving her at all! What the hell is going through your mind! You think you can just decide to throw away everything we've worked for! Do you remember what that scandal almost cost this family? I had to work endlessly throughout this town to dismiss the disgraceful rumours you brought on us! And you want to try and tear us down again? You are an ungrateful child and I will not stand for it!"
"You don't have to. I'm not asking for anyone's approval on what I do", He shrugged at his mother, "If people want to talk then let them-"
"We will not 'Let them'! We will not be shamed from our positions and you will not tarnish the Grimes name! Do you know how many organisations I run? Do you? Do you know how many Lori is a part of? Your father- Your father wants to run for governor next year and he can't have you stain this family by running off with that whore and her bastard child!"
Rick stood so quickly from his seat that he almost gave himself vertigo, "Get out of my house"
The other three sets of eyes widened at him. His mother slowly rose from her seat, "Excuse-"
"Get out of my house!", He roared, pointing to the front door in the hallway.
"You do not speak to your mother that way!", His father was on his feet, pointing at Rick, "I don't know what has gotten into you but you better set yourself straight! You will show her respect!"
"I will show you both the door", Rick growled at him, "Now, leave!"
"You will not get away with this", His mother breathed through gritted teeth, "If you think, for even for a second, that I'll let you do this to us, you have another thing coming. You may be my son but I will ruin you before I let you ruin me"
"I wouldn't bet on that", He bit back, "Now get. Out"
His mother gave him one last stern look before storming past him. Rick glared at his father as he marched around him, slamming the door when they left. Lori was still sat on the couch, obviously stunned with the turn of the conversation.
"You still wanna go through with this?", He asked her as he rested his hands on his sides.
Her head jerked back at his question, "Do you?"
He sniffed as he looked around the room, "I meant everythan' I said earlier"
"So. Did. I", She seethed, her fists balling.
"Alright, but just remember that it's gonna come out that we split either way"
"Do you not see the damage it will do? You'll be ruining everyone else's life for your own selfish needs-"
"Lori, even if none of this happened with Michonne, how long would we have lasted? Seriously? You even admitted that you've wanted to be with someone else! Would you have rather have spent the next four or five years tied to me in a loveless marriage just to make a couple of old women in town happy or would you rather have an opportunity to live your life the way you wanted?"
She stood up and stepped around the coffee table, "Don't ask me what I'm willing to put up with, because I've already put up with a lot"
Rick wanted to bang his head against a wall. He couldn't fathom how his parents and his wife all had the same twisted mentality. He didn't expect them all to agree with his choices, but he didn't expect them to go actively go against them either. He knew they all just wanted him to give up and follow their lead but the situation was bigger than him just wanting to divorce his wife. He was finally making his voice heard, and making his own decisions and it was a battle that had been brewing for years.
Lori stayed with Carl in the home and he was grateful, though he knew that his parents probably told her to stay so she didn't rouse suspicion. They didn't say a word to each other but both showered Carl with attention when he was in the room. He had already taken to sleeping in the guest room after he initially told Lori what had happened, but he officially moved into the room after that weekend.
He was almost glued to the phone when he was at work, waiting for the hospital to call him with news about Mike. He wanted to face the other man for what he did, not only for putting Michonne in danger but for risking the life of their unborn child. He wanted the other man to stay suffering in the wrecked vehicle when he saw him, as he felt not compulsion to help him. He just wanted to find Michonne and make sure she was okay.
"You heard anything yet?"
Rick looked up from his desk to see Sasha stood in front of it, sifting through envelopes in her hand, "Nope. Nothing"
She nodded, "What about your… friend? Is she okay?"
He watched Sasha, noticing the change in her tone, "She's doing well"
She nodded again, her eyes darting up to meet his, "Hey, I'm just asking. It's not my business unless it's illegal"
He smirked at her as he looked back down at the phone, "Wish everyone else saw it that way"
"Yeah, right", She rolled her eyes, "Come on, they'll radio us if they hear anything, let's go get some coffee or something"
He knew she was right but he couldn't help but want to stay, though he still left with her anyway. He hadn't been able to see Michonne so far that week, but he was adamant that he would see her later that day, and he'd appreciate the distraction until then.
He and Sasha went on a coffee run and patrolled the town for a little while. He had become good friends with the younger woman, and he was genuinely beginning to think she was good for Shane. She didn't let him get away with any the old regular charms and had no problem putting him in his place. Rick knew Shane loved that about her, as his friend loved a challenge. He had wondered where his best friend was, as he hadn't turned up to work and called in sick, which was very unlike him. It was coming up to the end of the work day and Rick was leaving the office to call Michonne when Shane surprisingly made an appearance.
Rick looked him over, taking in his tired expression and creased sweatshirt, "You really are sick"
Shane sighed, not looking Rick directly in the eye, "Can we talk somewhere man?"
Rick frowned at him, "What's up? Is it serious?"
Shane shook his head, "Come on, let's just go somewhere-"
Rick stepped closer to him, "If it's somethan' serious Shane then tell me right now?"
Shane finally looked him directly in the eye, and something about the way he did made Rick feel uncomfortable.
"I love you man. I do. Your my brother and I don't think I care about anyone as much as I do you", Shane declared, his hands resting at his sides.
Rick watched him like a hawk as he listened to him.
"...I don't know what or how things got to where they did but… it was never anythan'. It never meant anythan' to me. It was just… somethan' to do. Somethan' to pass time between my dry spells-"
"What are you talking about?", Rick pressed.
Shane's eyes snapped shut as he shook his head again, "Just let me… when's the last time you slept with Lori?"
Rick's head slowly sank forward, "What?"
"When? Tell me when please, so I can just get this right"
Rick winced at his friend, though he still tried to remember, "Just over a month ago-"
"And before that?"
Rick shook his head, "I can't remember, why are you asking me this?"
"There was a time that you two hadn't slept together for month's right? Say two or three months?"
Rick frowned at him again, "How the hell…"
"She told me", Shane rubbed the back of his head, "She told me… and I don't- she knew you didn't love her and I guess it took some of the guilt away but-"
"The hell are you trying to tell me, Shane?", Rick moved even closer to him.
Shane's face contorted in hurt, "I've been sleeping with her- I mean I was. I did sleep with her… a few times"
Rick stepped back as he looked him from head to toe.
"It started when you asked me to check on 'em when you were working late… she was… that's when she told me everythan'... and it just… I didn't see it as anythan', I didn't want her to leave you, I didn't want anythan' more, it was just sex… I stopped it all when things with Sasha started-"
"You're the person she wanted to be with?", Rick breathed out as he squinted at Shane.
Shane shook his head as he looked around the parking lot, "It was nothing like that… but she's… I saw her yesterday in the pharmacy… at the baby aisle… and I asked her cause… we didn't really use anythan'-"
Rick's stomach dropped, "She's?"
"She's is", He nodded, "She's pregnant… and she knows it's mine, she tried to deny it but she does… and she's gonna tell you it's yours… she's doing what she can to hold on to you-"
"How can you call me your brother?", Rick hissed at him, "How can you call me that? Don't ever call me that again, do you hear me?"
"You are my brother-"
"Don't ever call me that again!", Rick belted out as he invaded Shane's personal space.
"Rick, your no better than me, man", Shane shook his head as he looked away from him.
"Did I say I was Shane? Did I say I'm in a position to take the moral high ground?" Rick breathed sinisterly in his ear, "I know what the hell I did wrong and I know who I wronged, It took me a minute but I made sure I came clean for it cause it didn't matter who I loved and who I didn't, I still lied and I still cheated-"
"I'm coming clean now-"
"Because she's pregnant!", Rick barked in his face, "How far along is she? Did she tell you that?"
Shane dropped his head, "Three months"
Rick chuckled disbelievingly as he stepped away from him, "She's three months pregnant?... yeah that… that's definitely your child. No doubt about it. No doubt at all. I think we've only slept together four or five times this year so… congratulations. Your gonna be a father"
"Rick. I'm so sorry-"
"You keep that apology. You keep it. I don't want that from you. I don't want a damn thang from you-"
"I messed up! I messed up big time and I never meant to hurt anyone and you know how that feels! You know-"
"Oh I do. I know. I really know", Rick rubbed the side of his face as he tried to let the new information sink in, "You… you were, you have been the person that I'm closest too. You have. My son has your name in his… my parents, Lori, there both hell bent on tearing me down right about now and… I thought you would one of the people I could count on to help me face that-"
"I will be-"
"No. No, you won't. No, you won't"
Rick looked around the parking lot and stopped when he saw Sasha looking at them both with wide eyes. She slowly walked over to the two of them, her focus purely on Shane.
He dropped his gaze when he was close enough, "You heard it all?"
A slapping sound rang out around them as Sasha smacked Shane hard across the face, "A whole year you chased me down for. A whole year!"
She turned around and marched off. Shane looked like a wounded puppy, rubbing his cheek as he watched her disappear back inside the building. Rick sighed, shaking his head as he walked over to his squad car. He didn't have anything else to say to his friend, but he had a whole lot to say to his wife.
