Their trip to the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures was unexciting and uneventful since the Ministry was running smoothly that day. Every now and again, people waved at Sira and told her 'good morning,' which she kindly returned, but she couldn't help but miss the action that her job used to have. For her, it seemed, the Ministry and especially the Auror Office only dealt with small crime, and the occasional murder or two. It was nothing like it was a few years after the war, where they were still rounding up Dark Wizards. Now, that was no more. At least with her work with the pack, she could escape the new monotony the Ministry had.
Fenrir walked easily by her side, finally seeming comfortable around such a large population of wizards. Most of the people here were in favor of working to accept werewolves, and the ones who weren't didn't speak up because they weren't that upset about it. It also helped that the Head of the Department, Arian Moon, was her friend, and an expert on werewolves.
When they finally made it to the department, Sira went directly to Arian's office and knocked on the door, which within seconds opened. "Hey, Sira," Arian said, "come in." From the look of his office as she stepped into it, it looked like he had just gotten there. Nothing looked out of place. "I just arrived here moments before you got here. I had to go to Germany to take care of some things." She nodded as they all sat down.
"I understand," she replied with a smile. "I hope we're not interrupting anything." Arian quickly shook his head.
"No, you're not," he stated as he started to pull paperwork out of his bag. "What can I help you two with?"
"Sira and I went to the pack yesterday to get me settled in and we found the pack to be in worse condition than we thought it would be," Fenrir answered as Sira looked at him. "They're starving and the person I had appointed as Alpha during my absence did not take care of them at all. We were wondering if there was any way that we could get funding to get food for them until we could help the pack to sustain itself again."
"I'd be willing to fund the pack myself," she added as she looked to Arian, "but I felt that it would be better for the Ministry to fund the pack to show that people do care about them." Arian picked up a quill and rotated it in his hands.
"I believe that this Department would be in favor of giving funds to the pack," he said carefully, "but you must realize that we cannot fund the pack indefinitely because we are on a limited budget and we must use that budget to assist other magical creatures as well as werewolves."
"We understand," Fenrir replied with a nod.
"Right, so how much do you think you will need to get food for the pack? Do you think that 2,000 galleons would suffice for now?"
"I think that would be plenty," Sira responded as Arian started to write something down on a clean sheet of paper. "We could at least them for a couple of weeks off of that, if not longer." She looked at Fenrir who gave her a nod and a light smile.
"Alright, well, take this note to Gringotts-." He stopped himself mid-sentence and looked down at his schedule. "Actually, I'll just come with you," he continued as he torn up the note and tossed it in the trash. "I don't have anything I need to be doing for the next couple of hours." He smiled at them as he stood. Both Sira and Fenrir stood as Arian took their hands.
"Are you sure that there isn't anything you need to be doing? We don't want to keep you from your work," Sira stated and Arian started to chuckle.
"Seriously, Sira, you're not taking me away from anything." With that, they disappeared with a soft pop.
Once his decision was made, he had known he had made the wrong one. How could he throw away the life that he had for a new one and not look back and regret it? He had a wife and a family that cared about him, that loved him, and he loved them too. In all entirety, he knew that they were more valuable to him than Cecilia. Scabior felt sickened by even thinking about her at the moment.
Sira had trusted him with her heart, her life, and her deepest and darkest secrets, but he didn't value that as much as he knew he should have. The idea ate at him and caused him pain. She loved him unconditionally and he still wanted something more.
He thought back to when they were first married, completely and entirely happy with their relationship and where their life was heading. He was by her bedside whenever she was sick, he would get up early some mornings just to cook her breakfast before she had a chance to beat him to it, and he looked after Anthony when Sira was away with work. Sometimes, Sira and he would just talk to each other about what they had gone through, or about their future plans, until exhaustion finally made them sleep. He missed that. He wanted it back.
Right then and there, he made a new decision. He'd go back to his old life and erase the other one completely and he'd tell Sira about the mistake he made and hope that she would forgive him. He'd love his wife with all of his heart and never stray from her again. He hoped it would work. He knew he couldn't lose her again.
"Sira, stop, I'm the Head of the Department, for crying out loud. It's not that big of a deal," Arian stressed, starting to sound defeated as they walked down Diagon Alley towards Gringotts. Fenrir was rubbing his temples, trying to ease his headache that formed from Arian and Sira's bickering.
"I don't want you to get in trouble for leaving work, Arian," she retorted.
"Sira, listen, I'm alright."
"You two bicker like an old, married couple," Fenrir stated as his irritation showed in his voice, causing both of them to stop talking and look at him, before bursting out in laughter.
"Sorry, Fenrir," Sira said as her cheeks started to turn red with her blush. "We'll stop." He smiled at her and threw his arm around her shoulders and ruffled her hair, causing her to laugh as she pulled out of his grip. Arian smirked as he started to climb the steps towards the bank and Sira was running her hands through her messy hair, trying to fix it.
"It's alright," Fenrir replied as the three of them walked up the steps. "I know you weren't doing it on purpose." They entered the bank and walked down the long hall, their footsteps echoing off of the marble floor. Arian went up to one of the goblins, who was counting a pile of knuts.
"What can I help you with today, Mr. Moon?" the goblin asked without looking up from his counting.
"I need to get something out of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creature's vault," Arian stated and the goblin gave him a curt nod before hopping down off the stool he was on.
"Right this way."
"Sira?" a male voice said from behind them, causing the three of them to turn and look for the source of the sound. She caught eyes with the man and started to smile instantly. "I didn't know you were coming here today," he said as he returned her smile.
"I didn't know either, but hey, things happen that way sometimes," she replied. Scabior nodded as he locked eyes with Fenrir, just before looking back at his wife.
"Can I talk to you in private?"
"Sure," she said as she went over to him. She looked over her shoulder back at Arian and Fenrir and called, "Go ahead without me. I'll meet back up with you two when you're done." Scabior took her hand and took her to one of the empty guard's lounges, closing the door behind them. The room was small, but cozy, and looked very similar to the rest of the bank, Sira noticed as sat down in one of the chairs. "What do you need to talk about?"
"Are you coming home tonight?" he asked quickly. To her, he seemed edgy and a bit unsure of himself.
"No, I am not," she responded. "Fenrir is going to be providing a meal for the pack tonight and I'm helping prepare food. I'll be back home tomorrow though." He sighed with relief as he sat down in a chair across from her.
"Good," he whispered as he looked up into her blue eyes. "I've really missed you."
"I've missed you too." She could see a difference in his eyes, what seemed like guilt mixing with a new certainty. She'd seen the guilt all too frequently, but not the certainty. He had lost that years ago and, for her, it was comforting to see it again. He didn't seem so cold to her now, like he was finally dropping the walls he made for no reason. Her blue eyes shinned with hope as she looked into his eyes, somehow knowing that their uncertainty in each other was about to die and they could just love each other again. It would be like it used to be. "I love you."
Her words made him smile, sending warmth through his body and adding a glimmer to his eyes. "I love you too." She went over to him and sat down on his lap, resting her head on his shoulder as she gently closed her eyes. His arms almost automatically wrapped around her, holding her close. "I've made some stupid mistakes in my life, Sira," he breathed softly, "but I hope you won't hold them again me."
"I never have, Scabior. You haven't given me the reason to do so."
"I know," he said, realizing that this was not the time to tell her what he had done. "I just wanted to hear you say that."
"We've all made stupid mistakes, some of them worse than others. The difference in them is how much the reality of the mistake actually hurts us and the ones we love." He nodded as he held her tighter.
"How is Anthony doing?" he questioned, trying to change the subject as his hopes of her accepting him somehow diminished. "Is he liking the pack?"
"He's alright," she replied, "but I don't know if he likes the pack or not. He was asleep when we left this morning and he got to the pack late last night." She looked up at him, her knowledge glittering in her eyes. "Anthony has a half-brother, Scabior, and they both seem to really care about each other."
"What's his name?" he asked. "Is he a werewolf?" She nodded slowly.
"His name is Elliot, and he really doesn't care for how the pack is right now, nor does he care much about Fenrir. He sees Fenrir as the reason of his suffering, and that's all I really know about him." Scabior nodded as she got off of his lap. "They're probably back by now. I better be going," she stated as she looked to the exit of the room, causing him to look up into her eyes.
"You're coming home tomorrow, correct?" he asked, making sure that she was being truthful to him.
"Yes," she replied with a light smile as she walked towards the door. "See you tomorrow." She stepped out into the hall, trying to shake off the feeling of dread that suddenly clung to her. She didn't know why she felt it, or how, but it disturbed her. She didn't know if she could feel the same with him as she did before. Quickly, she went out into the main part of the bank and saw Fenrir and Arian waiting for her there. "Hey," she said to them rapidly with a smile forming on her lips. "Ready to go?"
"Yeah, I got what I needed from the vault," Arian said with a mischievous smile as he handed her a bag of galleons. "And to be honest, Sira, I needed to come to the bank anyway. I just wanted to make it seem like I was trying to skip out on work." She shoved him roughly and they all started to laugh as they made their way out of Gringotts.
His amber eyes stared up at the ceiling as the woman next to him shifted a little bit, deep asleep. He hated that Kael always insisted him to take women to bed with him, hoping that it would cheer him up a bit. It never did, it only made him feel worse about his condition, about the society that he lived in. Kael always gave him the beautiful, attractive women, but while they were interested in him, he had no interest in them. They didn't care about his personality, they just cared about how he looked. They wanted to use him, and he didn't want to be used.
He sat up and took the glass out of the woman's hand, knowing that what she took was a Sleeping Draught. He lied to her and said it was a tonic for her nerves, even though she was just excited. His guilt tugged at him, but he knew that he would feel better with himself about lying to her than having a one-night stand. He rather her just sleep in his bed for a while and not remember that she took the Draught than remember that he didn't want to have her the way that he was supposed to. He didn't want just sex, he wanted to have a relationship.
He wanted for someone to understand him.
Reaching down, he picked up the white t-shirt that she had eagerly pulled off of him and put it back on, ruffling his brown hair after he was finished. He left the room with a sigh, stepping out into the light. "Heros, how was she?" Kael asked with a grin on his face and an arrogant gleam in his blue eyes as he came up to him, gripping his shoulder.
"She was great," Heros stated flatly. "She's sleeping now." Kael was shorter than him, but that didn't say much because the only people in the pack that were taller than him were Fenrir and Rolfe, but instead of being lanky like Rolfe, he had a powerful build like Fenrir.
"Damn, you must really wear them out," Kael jested, causing Heros not to look at him. "Cheer up, bud. You need to not be so down all the time. The pack will be ours again soon." And then there'll be no hope of me getting out of this hellhole, he thought. "Sage and I have a plan."
"By the way," Sage said as she turned on the sofa to look at him with a mug in her hands. "Fenrir asked to talk to you, Heros. He wants you to go to his tent when you have the chance. He said that when him and his bitch were feeding the pack." She shrugged and took a sip from her mug. Kael looked at him, darkness entering his eyes.
"I trust you will us your best judgment when talking to him," Kael snarled, Heros understanding the warning in his voice.
"I will," Heros replied as he walked out of the tent, hiding his sudden eagerness until he closed the entrance of the tent behind him. Once out in the brisk air, he grinned, relieved that he would be away from Kael's watchful eye for a while. He walked quickly towards Fenrir's tent trying not to be noticed by anyone. Not many people were out, which was lucky for him. He hoped that with the amount of food that had been given out, the pack members were in their tents enjoying it. He saw how many of them were going hungry, but Kael never did. Kael's lust for power overridden his sensitivity to humanity.
Once he reached the tent, he saw that they had installed a bell pull on it so he pulled the rope. After a few moments, the tent opened and Fenrir looked at him. "Thank you for coming, Heros," he said as he ushered him into the tent, closing it behind him. "Sira and I were hoping that you would come. You seemed like you wanted to say something to us earlier, before Kael took you away."
"I did," he replied as Fenrir sat down in a chair and he took a seat on the sofa. The woman with blue eyes and brown, wavy hair, which he assumed was Sira, came out of the kitchen area and sat down in a chair across from him. "But somehow, you already took care of what I wanted to ask you to do."
"And what was that?" Sira asked, her blue eyes holding warmth towards him while Fenrir seemed more stoic.
"To feed the pack," he stated. "I've asked Kael a few times to do so but he said that it doesn't matter. I've seen how hungry they are and I wanted that to change. But you two have already found a way to do that." Sira nodded as she looked at Fenrir, something sparking in her eyes.
"We've been talking with the pack," Fenrir said as he clasped his hands, "and we've heard some awful things about how the pack was ran under Kael's rule. While we found out that the pack fears Kael, we found out that the reason they fear him is because they fear you." Heros dropped his eyes as his guilt ate at him, knowing what Fenrir was referencing. He could feel their heavy gazes on them, but they weren't out of hate. It was something entirely different, which he didn't understand. "They said that you and Torren, I believe, do the dirty work for Kael, that both of you have killed pack members before."
"Torren does the killing," Heros blurted out, wanting for once in his life for someone to know the truth. He had no trust in Fenrir but he trusted Sira. There was something about those blue eyes and the way that she looked at him that convinced him that she wouldn't harm him. "I've only caused one person to die in my life, and that was because he asked me to." He put his face in his hands, knowing that he shouldn't be saying any of this. Sira looked at Fenrir again, who sighed, before looking back at the young man.
"Do you want to talk about what happened?" she asked causing him to shake his head. "I think both Fenrir and I agree that you are definitely not what people describe you as. If you don't mind, would you take some Veritaserum so we know that you're being truthful with us?" He dropped his hands from his face and looked at her.
"You don't trust me?" he asked, looking at her.
"I do, but we just need to be sure," she said carefully. After a moment, he nodded and she went to go get her vial of it. He looked at Fenrir, who looked down at the floor. She soon came back with a vial. "Can you please tilt your head back and open your mouth?" He nodded and opened his mouth as he titled his head back, halfway hoping that she wouldn't actually be doing this. She slowly dropped three drops into his mouth before capping the vial and moving away from him. He looked at her in a bit of shock as she sat down. He could feel it kicking in.
"Sira, you know that this is illegal," Fenrir stated.
"I know, but it is necessary and he agreed. Now, Heros, how many pack members have you killed?" she asked, hoping that his answers would match up.
"One," he replied rapidly.
"What is your role within the pack?" she questioned, glancing over to Fenrir, who was looking at her sternly.
"I enforce the rules that Kael makes and give punishment as he dictates."
"Do you like that job?"
"No, I hate it. I never wanted to hurt people like I have to." Sira looked at Fenrir again, finally acknowledging him.
"I think that's enough, don't you?" she asked him.
"Yes, I do but you didn't have to do that. I hoped he would be honest with us." She smiled at him, rolling her eyes as her gaze returned to Heros. "Have you ever been under the influence of Veritaserum before?"
"No, not until now," he replied, wondering why she had even asked that. "Why?"
"I just dripped water into your mouth," she said with a smile as he realized what she had done. She had just proven to them that he could be trusted. He could tell them the truth without being forced. "Thank you for your cooperation and thank you for talking with us. Is there anything we can do for you?"
"No, I don't think so," Heros replied and then a question popped into his mind. "You're Sira Volkov, right?" She nodded as Fenrir got up and went into another room. "What was it like to be a Death Eater?"
"To be honest with you, Heros, it was easy." Her comment cause him to look down at his folded hands. "I wasn't in my right mind at the time. I had just lost the love of my life and I didn't want to face the fact that he was gone. I didn't want to have to think. I just wanted to kill the over-whelming numbness I felt. I just wanted to feel and the only way I was able to do that was to give myself over to Voldemort." She smirked a little, thinking about how stupid she was for doing so. "You figure out how to stay alive quickly and if you do your job right, you'll move up in the ranks, but you'll lose yourself in the process if you're not careful.
"I ended up losing myself and I finally woke up after I was in way too deep," she explained. "I had murdered to get into the Death Eaters, and when I finally devoted myself to them, Voldemort told me of the fate of my parents. My uncle had paid the Death Eaters to kill my parents, so I felt that the only right thing to do was kill him for what he had done. After that, I was sent to Azkaban on a life sentence, which I escaped from, and then went after my aunt, killing her after I found out where my belongings were. Months after that and multiple dates with my husband, I started to wake up to the things that I had done, and somehow I thought that the only way to fix it was to kill myself, so I wouldn't be causing any more pain to the people around me. I tried to end my life right in front of my husband.
"But I didn't," she whispered as she closed her eyes. "And I started to think that I didn't want that life anymore. I just wanted the war to be over and I didn't care which side won. I just wanted to be done. It was far from done, though, and I wasn't fully awake to all the harm that I had caused, but then I took the life of my best friend in front of the Order of the Phoenix and I realized the magnitude of my actions. I wanted out of the Death Eaters more than anything in the world at that moment.
"It wasn't until I had killed one more time and caused more harm and was tortured that I finally got my wish. I fell drastically in the ranks of the Death Eaters after Voldemort found out about my desire to leave and he sentenced me to be a Snatcher," she clarified. "I didn't enjoy what I had to do as a Snatcher, but my husband was right there with me, so it made it a whole lot easier. Fenrir was the leader of the Snatcher gang my husband and I were in, and after fighting him and surviving, he took a fancy to me. He wanted to have me as his mate and he ended up getting his wish.
"I found out I was pregnant with Fenrir's son sometime in January of 1998 and it was tough to come to grips with. I wasn't even married to my husband at the time and I didn't know if he would even be willing to raise the baby since it was not his own. There was so much to think about and so much to plan that I didn't even know where to start. Luckily, everything turned out alright," she said with a warm smile. "My husband was willing to love the child like his own, I had people around me to support me, and things seemed to be looking up until Voldemort decided to attack Hogwarts. Pregnant, I went to the Order of the Phoenix and begged them to forgive me and their forgiveness did not come easily. I never expected it to." She looked at him, slightly smiling and her blue eyes shining with her pain. "How would you even be able to forgive someone like me? Someone who only causes pain and suffering? Someone who was too dumb to realize that all of this could have been avoided if she had just allowed herself to grieve over the loss of her love? Somehow, they managed to forgive me and I was allowed to fight within their ranks.
"I lost many members of my family that night. Good people with good hearts that cared about the ones around them. I wished I could've been the one dead if it meant that I could have saved them, but it wasn't meant to be. I received a gash to my leg that I almost bled to death from. My husband broke a lot of bones after the bridge he was on exploded and fell into the water below. And to my surprise, it was Fenrir who had saved us from death." She shook her head slowly as he continued to watch her. "I thought he didn't care about us, but after my blood loss was stopped and I was stabilized, I woke to find a note in my hand from him. I never read it. I got up and found my husband and learned of the casualties that the Order had taken and raced out to find Voldemort and end it once and for all, but it was Fenrir who prevented me from being killed right then and there. He pulled me to the side and told me his true feelings and I got my first glimpse of how human he was. Right then and there I decided that I would be willing to do anything for him, as long as he continued to act that way.
"As you know, after the war he was sent to Azkaban, where I should have been too but I was pardoned and allowed a second chance at life. I didn't feel that it was fair to him, so I fought to lessen his sentence and ended up working with him to control himself around people. It worked out, as you can tell, and he's a completely different person. We're both completely different people. And actually, it's a nice change to see. It wasn't easy to change from being a Death Eater and a criminal to being a normal person, but I think both of us agree that it was worth it in the end."
"You lived a hard life," Heros said, looking at her kindly as he thought of how similar her story was to his life.
"It taught me a lot, that's for sure," she joked with a warm smile on her lips. "I regret some of the things that I did but I know that there is no way for me to change them now. That's all you can do really. You have to learn how to accept your past." He felt compelled to tell her the truth, even though he knew that it would be the end of his life if Kael found out that he had told her. She needed to know.
"Kael intends on killing Fenrir," he stated, causing her to nod slowly.
"I knew he wanted to," she replied, sighing gently. "Fenrir and I have already discussed it." Heros looked down, not wanting to go back to Kael, knowing that this was going to get ugly before it got any better. "Heros, you are welcome here anytime and if there is anything you need us to do, tell us." He nodded as he stood up.
"Is it possible to leave the pack?" he asked as she locked eyes with him. "I don't really want to live here any longer to be completely honest."
"It's possible and I can start the process for you," she stated. "If you're interested and you feel that you really want to do it, we can talk about it later."
"Okay, thank you, Sira," he said as he headed towards the exit of the tent.
"You're welcome." She turned and looked at him, her eyes holding her trust towards him. "I hope you understand that Kael can't know we're helping you, or that you have been communicating with us for your own safety."
"I really don't care anymore," he replied. "I seem to have come to the point you have when you wanted out of the Death Eaters, but unlike you, I haven't been able to find a way out until now. If he kills me, he kills me, right? So why does it matter if I die?" He smiled at her and all she did was look at him. "I'll be free then."
"I used to think that, but you don't know how many people you affect until you can't be with them. Be careful, for everyone's safety, and we'll help you to get out if you really want that."
"I understand," he said with a nod. "Thanks again."
He left the tent quickly, not wanting to disturb their night anymore, even though he did want to stay. She made him feel so comfortable with himself, even with his condition, making him feel that he could live with wizards without being afraid of their ridicule. He didn't want that feeling to end. He slowly walked back to Kael's tent, not really wanting to go back there and face them. Kael, Sage, Torren, Myra, any of them. They were all backwards in their ways and didn't understand his disgust in what they were doing. They just wanted power and he just wanted to be at peace.
"How did it go, Heros?" Kael asked sharply as he entered the tent. "What did they ask you?"
"They just wanted to know my views on the pack," he stated blankly, his amber eyes showing no emotion what-so-ever. "Mostly, they just wanted to get to know me."
"They didn't ask about our plans?" Sage questioned, looking at Kael with a smirk on her face, trying to prove to him that she was right about the meeting.
"No, they didn't. They were very civil and welcoming," he replied, causing her to have a disgusted look on her face. "Like I said, they just wanted to get to know me."
"Torren's getting ready to fulfill the plan," Kael stated darkly, looking at Heros for hints of shock to see that there was none. "They will not be a problem for much longer."
"I can tell you right now that it's not going to work," Heros retorted. "Torren can't take both of them on. You don't know how skilled of fighters they actually are. She was a Death Eater and Fenrir's even stronger now than when he was Alpha before."
"Torren won't be completing this mission alone, Heros," Kael replied smoothly as a cruel grin crept across his lips. "You will be going with him."
