Paige settled onto her floor bedding to weigh her options. She could cry. She just had to he let her mind be and it would fabricate a spectrum of horrible possible thoughts. A uniquely horrible image of Emily reliving their time together with distrust. How she'd see all the signs, all the creepy flirting in a whole new light. After all the lies, she might be too hurt and angry continue being polite to Paige.
Paige gave her head a tight, rough shake. She reached for her phone and dialed Pru.
"My favorite gay! What's up?" Pru answered, cheery and very much awake at 11 PM.
"I was just calling to catch up, dear," Paige responded, lightly, her voice only breaking slightly at the end. She was met with a pause, she heard Pru close her bedroom door.
"Whats going on P? Was it Emily? I'll cut a bitch," Pru knew that Paige never ever called 'just to catch up.'
"No. I mean- ugh," Paige let her shoulders slump, leaned hard against the foot of Emily's bed. "I fell off a bike," she admitted, whispering.
"Did you break something?" Pru was concerned.
"No, just scrapes. And humiliation," Paige heard Pru exhale, let out a small chuckle. "I just...feel shitty and I need you to talk about things. Things that aren't aren't..."
"Biking? Or Emily?"
"Yep," Paige responded with a smile.
"Well," Pru was probably biting her lip and fidgeting with her hair, "I had a date with Jacob tonight," she smiled into the phone. "And I was going to call you anyway for interview advice."
"Both good things. How's lovely Jacob?"
"Perfect, obvs," Pru smiled, "he loved watching Pride and Prejudice with me."
"Tell me it was the Kiera Knightley one and not the -"
"Colin Firth one!" Pru exclaimed, gleeful.
"He did not like watching that," Paige asserted. She hated Pru for putting her through that unassuming torture.
"He fell asleep in hour two," Pru paused, "Super adorable and still passed out in my basement. As much as I wanted to cuddle and appreciate the moment, I didn't want my dad to murder us both in the morning. Plus, I drank coffee. At, like, six. So..."
"Yeesh, Pru, what have I told you about coffee after five?" Paige shook her head, joking, but her mind was still dark, foggy, distracted. She felt the tears cuing up behind her eyes.
"So, Paige, if I were a tree, what kind would I be?"
"Just be yourself, Pru, you'll do great. You can honestly be any tree..." Paige sniffed. Damnit.
"Because I'm stubborn and difficult to uproot?" Pru tried to joke. She felt like she was losing this avoidance of emotion battle.
Paige really did smiled, but it faded when she finally noticed Emily, leaning against the door frame. She was suddenly hyper-aware of her use of this space, Emily's space, for her phone conversation. How long had she been there?
Paige was gathering her breath to get rid of Pru, but Pru was still going on about trees, "No, but seriously Paige, maybe I'd be a redwood. Redwoods are the awesome. Unmistakable, strong." She paused just for a breath, "Or I could do one of those, 'oh I'm so nurturing and read children's books, Willow things... and they would think, 'what cuteness! And there's ash, sequoia.. should I do something local? Everyone likes local..."
Emily was walking towards her. Paige's breath decided to just chill in the middle of her chest indefinitely.
"Ugh, I hate the weakness one? What is my greatest weakness? I mean, I can procrastinate like a-"
"Pru?" Paige started. Emily was settling onto the floor next to Paige, she shook her head, indicating that Paige shouldn't hang up. Paige tried to focus, but it was difficult with Emily so close, the girl was staring at her with a confusing intensity. Paige couldn't look up into those eyes, so she chose to observe her own fingers fiddling with her blanket. Paige released that breath, "you're supposed to spin it into something good, whatever you choose," Paige finally answered, unevenly.
"Like, I procrastinate, but can also do everything perfectly at the last second?" Pru sighed, "I'm pretty sure I'm not qualified for this thing..." Pru wasn't sure if she was talking about the job or Paige.
Paige took note of the slight defeat, she also noted Emily's hand on her chin, moving her head to one side. Her fingertips were unbelievably soft and warm. "Pru, be yourself. You are smart, qualified..."
"And gosh darn it, people like me!" Pru joked, but it was lost on Paige. Emily was still touching her chin and her body responded with knots, energy and an intensification of that blanket, persistent, painful want.
"Articulate and hardworking," Paige closed her eyes to concentrate. Everything ached. She could feel Emily lean into her other ear.
"I'm sorry," Emily whispered to her.
"I'm fashion forward, I know all the celebrities," Pru was waiting for Paige to catch on. She knew her best friend was just spouting off lame magazine advice at this point.
"You just need to walk in there confident, and be yourself. Take your time to answer questions," Paige looked up at Emily to say sorry for what? with her eyes. Emily took it in, leaned back to Paige's non-phone ear.
"Everything. All of today..." Her breath caught, "I'm sorry I hit you," she sniffed. Emily couldn't have felt more ashamed of herself for that. Paige put a hand on Emily's and nodded that it was okay.
"Yeah, of course, but what if it just all goes to hell and I'm pretending to be someone else. Some crazy person," Pru hit Paige a lob.
Emily hadn't moved her lips from Paige's ear. She was frozen, contemplating. She kissed Paige on the cheek.
"Pru?" Paige managed to creak out, her head was a new shade of foggy from Emily's kiss.
"You have to go?" Pru asked, defensive. Not even a 'you are a crazy person' joke? What the hell was going on over there?
"I-" Paige couldn't finish, Emily was kissing her again, this time on her jaw.
"Better be good, McCullers," Pru let herself tease, "important life shit is going on over here," she added sternly. The way Paige was choking on her words, was she crying? Pru was curious, but knew she could only push in a roundabout way with Paige. She heard Paige's breath catch again.
Paige's eyes were shut tight again, concentrating, "You're going to do great Pru. I mean it," Paige breathed. Emily's lips were now lingering over the place where Paige's neck met her jaw, her mouth slightly open as she breathed in Paige. Emily was waking up that spot, claiming it as her own. Paige had never felt so completely overwhelmed. If her body had to jolt awake one more time today, her tattered nerves were likely to riot. "Call me before you go in tomorrow?"
"Yep. I will," Pru conceded, disappointed. That last breath catch was not Paige holding back a sob, "You are going to tell me every freaking thing that happened to you when I do. Everything. Deal?" Paige didn't know whether to be worried or pleased. Emily kissed Paige in her neck, mouth slightly open.
"Deal," Paige gasped, dropping the phone, clicking the receiver off.
Emily scooted herself back to look at Paige now, trying to read her face, figure out if she had done the right or wrong thing. Paige kept staring at the blankets, biting her lip, too scared to even contemplate looking up.
