I Learned to Love You by tamyalways
translated from Spanish by ebfiddler
Good morning, I'm happy to see that the effort Ladydkl and I are making is bearing fruit. And I'm happy, very happy that you are liking the story. Thank you for your expressions of support and I truly hope you continue to enjoy it. We are progressing well in it and I'm happy because it seems to be working.
The characters are not mine ...
Idea from Lizcecilia6CECIFILLION
Chapter 9
RICK'S POV
The day started in the worst possible way. I could barely stand upright, and when I managed to get to the bathroom, it was all I could do to park my battered body on the bathroom floor, draped over the toilet bowl. I was in no condition to get up off the floor, so I lay there on a towel, barely able to move at all. Eventually I crawled over to the phone on my nightstand and picked it up. That effort cost so much that I had to rest a while, gasping for breath, before I could even use the phone in my hand. That chemo session was just terrible for my body. I was dizzy and vomiting and didn't even have the strength to comport myself like a human being. My body felt beaten and abused, like some poor animal's. When I had recovered my breath, I called the precinct. I was still having some trouble breathing.
"Yes?"
"Castle here, please connect me with Gates."
"Ah! Hello. Here you go," the switchboard operator told me.
I heard the waiting signal, and in a minute captain's voice came through the speaker.
"Sir, it's Castle. I want to apologize, but I think I need to take the day off. Yesterday I had the first chemo session, and I feel terrible."
"Of course, Detective," she said, her voice full of concern. "Do you need anything at all?"
"No sir, right now I'm just tired," I answered, lying.
"I understand. Take whatever time you need."
"Thank you, sir," I replied. I dropped back onto the cold floor. The towel was soaked from one of my sudden bouts of vomiting. Every round left me feeling worse.
It was going to be a very long day. The disease was certainly making itself obvious. I knew I was sick, of course, but at least before the illness itself hadn't required much effort from me. This chemotherapy, on the other hand, was just killing me. It was horrible. I felt torn apart, destroyed inside and outside. I hoped that at least it would serve its purpose, and be worth the suffering.
Maybe for another chance to live—yes, that would be worth it—to live without this damn disease. Now that I had opened my eyes, and finally knew what I wanted, it was just not fair that my time was up. I didn't like injustice, and never had—so I would fight to stay alive. The world had not yet seen what Richard Castle had to give. And I hadn't yet managed to get the girl—the girl of my dreams. In the movie of my life, she had the starring role.
KATE'S POV
I awoke to the smell of coffee. I had no desire to get up, but there was no choice. I found Josh ensconced in the kitchen. I could not believe what I was seeing. I had never seen him behave with such domesticity.
"Good morning, honey," he said, kissing me.
"You're cooking?" I asked with an incredulous smile.
"I promised you I would give everything necessary to make this work."
"I know it. You're cooking?"
"I know what I stand to lose, and I don't want to. Now, come, have something to eat," he said putting breakfast in front of me on the table, which was set and arranged in every respect.
We ate quietly, almost without speaking. I was making a big effort, but it could never be like it used to be. That love had already disappeared, and I really doubted that it would just somehow reappear one day. He had earned my regard, but my heart just didn't seem to understand that, and refused to respond.
When I got to the precinct the boys were already at work, but there was no sign of Castle.
"Hey guys!"
"Hey, Boss."
"Where's Castle?" Ryan asked. "We thought he was coming in with you."
"He's asked for a day off," Captain Gates informed us from her office.
"Really?" Espo said, giving me a look. "Must be he hooked up with some lady-friend who won't let him leave the bed," he teased.
But for me, the knowledge that he was not going to come in made me worry even more. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I wanted to focus on the case, but no matter what, my thoughts wandered elsewhere.
We worked diligently through the most part of the morning, but didn't get a break in the case. We needed my partner's sixth sense to crack this kind of case. I was thinking of him without pause, so I decided I might as well do some investigations of my own, and follow up on what Josh had revealed.
I left the boys in the bullpen and took the elevator down to see my friend the medical examiner. When I arrived, she was focused on a body. I stared at her as she worked— gesturing, talking, the way she carried on an actual conversation with the dead body. It made me laugh out loud. That startled her and she gave a little shriek.
"Kate! You scared me."
"God, you should have seen yourself."
"Very funny. So what are you doing here? Did you come to have lunch with me?" she speculated, approaching me.
"Well, no. Actually, I need to ask you a question as a medical doctor."
"Really? I'm a little rusty, most of my patients are dead, remember? But I seem to recollect, you have your own doctor at home, and he's much better looking than I am—or have you changed your orientation?"
"Don't be silly," I said, throwing a towel at her face. "Well ... are you gonna help me or not?"
"Of course. Hit me with it."
"Okay, listen, I hope I'm wrong, but I think an 'acquaintance' of mine has an illness and—"
"Kate, is Josh alright?"
"It's not him," I replied wrinkling my nose.
"So then—"
"Just ... can you help me without asking who it is?"
"Well, okay, but only because we're such good friends. Now shoot ... what are the symptoms?"
"I don't know, he's been acting weird ..." I said, unsure where to begin.
"Girl, you've been acting weird ... and it's not because you're sick," she said with a perfectly straight face, ribbing me. "Weirdness is not a symptom of disease."
"Okay, well, look. He fainted, and had a nose bleed," I said, recalling the incidents. "He's been acting tired, and weak, I don't know ..."
"Kate, that could be anything."
"Josh saw him in the hospital a few days ago, in the Oncology Department. Maybe it's because—"
"Kate, maybe so, but I can't say that these symptoms have to be some type of cancer. There are lots of things with symptoms like that. You look worried Kate."
"I don't want to worry ... but I can't help brooding about it."
"Kate, who is it?"
"I can't tell you that. But I need to know for sure, dispel the doubts."
"Then ask him. That's the best way."
"You're right, and I won't wait any longer. Thanks, Lanie," I said kissing her cheek, and I ran off to find him. I needed to see him and ask him about it, to remove the doubts that constricted my heart.
In spite of everything, I had a great fondness for him—and even if I didn't, no one should face trouble all alone. He needed more than ever for me to have his back.
I walked to his apartment. It was lunch hour anyway, and I didn't want to wait until after work. Also, if Josh was right, maybe he was in the hospital, and much as I didn't want to see him there, I couldn't get rid of the doubts that ate at me.
I arrived at his apartment. It was only a few days ago that I had last been there, and the truth is that from that day everything had changed between us. Gradually I was realizing that he put up quite a façade, wore his image of a skirt-chasing jackass like a mask. I knew he was at heart a good guy. It was just that he had no luck, maybe life made him act the way he did. He really was someone very special, if you could see him without that mask, that armor he wore like an icy shell, that made him appear so unfeeling and flippant.
I climbed the stairs. My suspicions had made me pretty agitated. I needed answers and I expected him to give them to me. I raised my fist and knocked on the door, afraid of what I would find.
RICK'S POV
God! I couldn't believe my bad luck—I'd spent most of the day puking my guts out, and now someone was knocking on the door! I got up as best I could from the sofa where I had collapsed a few hours before, surrounded by towels that by now had fulfilled their purpose. They were filthy and smelled foul. I was extremely dizzy, my head hurt from the effort, and everything seemed to sway as I made my way to the door. I staggered to it and threw it open without even checking who was out there. I should have done so, because when I saw who was responsible for the knocking ... the look on my face was like a child who discovers that Santa is really his parents. I'm not sure if I was surprised, or frightened at being caught by my partner in such a state, or both of them at once.
"Hi ... Kate. What...are you doing here?" I said running my hand through my disheveled hair, trying to comb it into place. Nothing in life could change my disposition to flirt with her, not even all this damn vomiting that was just about killing me today.
"Hey! I—" I could tell she wanted to say something, but was afraid to ask. I guess the view I presented was not entirely pleasant. I was wearing only a wrinkled T-shirt covered with stains, and athletic shorts—altogether a pretty lamentable picture.
"Let me guess—you missed me already?" I said with a lift of the eyebrows, reverting to my usual innuendo and banter, but she didn't react. "Come in," I said stepping aside.
She went into the dining room and stood there surveying the scene. I was embarrassed by how bad the apartment looked, but the truth is that I hadn't had the stamina to carry the towels to the bathroom nor to pick up the clothes I had taken off the day before.
"So, what brings you here?" I asked, as I cleared the couch of debris, so that she had room to sit down.
"I—" She stopped to remove a wet towel that I'd been using to cool my face, before sitting down. "I, uh, just wanted to know how you were," she explained, handing it to me.
"Me? Fine. Why?" I said, grabbing the towel and chucking it onto the table where a whole pile of used towels had collected.
"Well, you don't look fine. And—well, you missed work today, and yesterday—"
"Oh! Yes. Well. I'm fine. Apparently I'm coming down with the flu—can you believe it? You know how I never get ill, and along comes the flu and it leaves me looking like this," I smiled, lying to her all the while.
"Really?" she asked, looking into my eyes.
I had sat down on the end table, as I was incapable of holding myself upright a second longer without collapsing. I couldn't maintain my balance on account of the dizzy spells, and if I tried to stand up, I'd probably fall on her—and even though falling on her was in fact one of my dearest desires, that was not the way I wanted to do it—looking like this, smelling sour and covered with vomit stains like some drunkard.
"Do I look so bad then?" I said with a smirk. "Just give me a chance to take a shower and you'll see ... I'll be back to looking like the irresistible Don Juan you adore so much."
"Yeah, right, in your dreams," she joked half-heartedly. Her demeanor was still serious. "Well, okay, I guess I'll go now."
"It's lunchtime. You've definitely not eaten anything yet, so don't leave until you've had something."
"I don't have—"
"Hey! Not a word of protest," I exclaimed, pulling myself up off the end table and grabbing the phone. "What would you like to order?"
"Don't you like to cook?"
'Oh! I love cooking, it's just not a good time to do it."
"Obviously," she laughed.
"Hey, you'll see—name the day and I'll invite you for a proper meal, and you'll find out who prepares the best cuisine in the world."
"You wish," she said making the two of us laugh.
"Well, I promise, I'll cook for you someday," I said very sincerely, looking deeply into her eyes. She squirmed uncomfortably.
I got up, and called for delivery. I was happy that she had worried enough about me to come see me. The truth is that her arrival had vastly improved my day, and made me feel much better, and more confident again.
This woman was extraordinary, and I was not mistaken about that, never mind how badly we had behaved to one another before. I always thought she was a great woman, and now I was even more sure of it. I couldn't stop watching her from the corner of my eye. She was so beautiful, and I felt so privileged to be allowed to work with her. That was something that gave me satisfaction in life. Although ... dreaming is free ... and if there could be something more between us ...
TO BE CONTINUED …
Tomorrow, a new chapter, I'm not going to make you wait, haha. [translator: Sorry, friends, but I am going to make you wait. I'll have it up by Monday, perhaps Sunday if I can get enough ahead.] Thank you all for following the story so far and I hope that you continue down this bumpy road with me. As always I hope for your comments.
I wish you all a good weekend XXOO
Twitter: tamyalways
