Because of you

Chapter 9

I hadn't realised I had fallen asleep until I opened my eyes and saw the sun shining through my murky windows. Stretching my arms I sat up slowly and looked around my room as thoughts of last night flooded back to mind. I smiled to myself as pulled myself from my bed and walked over to my bedroom door. I stopped when I heard voices outside.

Pressing my ear against the door I listened closely.

"Shane listen to me, she isn't right for you!" came a shrieking females voice. I recognised it instantly. Sylvia. I scowled as I continued to listen. I knew she was talking to Shane, trying to get him to come back to her, I was expecting him to tell her to leave, but what he said made me wince.

"Im listening" he said slowly. Why would he listen to her giving him reasons why he shouldn't be with me? After everything that happened last night, he knew I loved him, and I thought he loved me. He wouldn't believe what she was about to say though, well, I hoped he didn't.

I could tell she had a smirk on her face now. "She cheated on you Shane" she said quietly. My jaw dropped. I cheated on him? She had really said that! I had never cheated on him. I had never cheated on anyone. I wasn't like that. And Shane knew that.

"With who?" he hissed. Clearly he didn't know that. I felt my heart drop. He believed the lies that escaped her mouth. He really thought I had cheated on him.

"With Jason" She said devilishly. "When you guys were dating at camp". I couldn't believe my ears. Jason? Of all people, my best friend, and Shane's brother, Jason?

This was when I burst through the doors. Both sets of eyes darted towards me. I clenched my fists as I threw a death glare over at Sylvia. "Get out" I hissed. Shane's eyes turned away from me, like he was ashamed to look at me, my eyes fell to my feet.

She smirked then turned to Shane. "Think about what I said, you know its true" she lied through her teeth as she flipped her blonde hair over her shoulder and strutted out, slamming the door behind her. I turned to face Shane. He wasn't looking at me; his gaze was fixed to the blank wall. His jaw was clenched as he had his arms crossed firmly against his chest. I took a cautious step forward only for him to take a step back.

"Shane" I whispered as I placed my hand on his arm, but he yanked it away and his eyes sprang forward to me. I cringed as the look in his eyes reminded me of my fathers.

"You cheated on me" he hissed with a pin filled look. Tears doubled behind my eyes as I looked at him in disbelief. I couldn't bring myself to speak. There was a lump forming in my throat as I saw as his eyes watched me angrily waiting for an answer. He shook his head and sighed. "Im leaving" he said finally as he slung on his Jacket.

"Shane please, it's not true," I croaked as tears spilled down my cheeks. He turned to me one last time, throwing me a glance before walking out the door. "Shane!" I screamed as I ran over to the door, ripping it open trying to see him. I caught the top of his head before he disappeared down the stairs. "Please" I whispered as I slumped down my doorframe, keeping my eyes on the stairs. I felt a strong urge to run after him but I knew it wouldn't make a difference, if he wouldn't believe me now, he wouldn't believe me if I ran after him. so I just sat there, crying, wishing he would come running back up the stairs. But I knew he wouldn't. I was also angry at him as well, how could he believe her, over me? and about Jason? I would never cheat on him, let alone with Jason. One, because he is one of my closest friends, Two, I could never think of him that way, and Three, he is his brother and I would never sink so low as to doing that.

Stupid Bitch had to ruin everything didn't she.

I flipped up my phone and dialled Trish's number. Waiting for her to answer, I tried to calm down my crying so she could understand me. I slowly brought myself back into my apartment as hastily dug through my purse, pulling out a cigarette and lighter.

She answered. "Hey Mitch" she said happily as I heard her giggle. I heard a throaty laugh in the background so I knew she was with a guy. I closed my eyes as I thought of Shane. I then felt bad that I had interrupted her and whomever she was with.

"Trish, are you busy?" I chocked out as I sniffed a loud unattractive sniff. I felt another sob shake through my body as I pulled the phone away from me so she wouldn't hear. I covered my mouth to stop the loud cries. After about a minute I put the phone back to my ear.

"Mitchie? Are you there? What's wrong?" she asked quickly as i let out a small whimper. I didn't reply so she spoke again. "Ok im coming over, stay there, I'll be over in a minute" she said quickly as I heard the line go dead. I dropped the phone and shakily lit my cigarette and brought it to my dry lips. Taking a long drag, I closed my eyes waiting for the nicotine to hit me and make me feel a little more relaxed, but it didn't, it didn't change a thing. I kept puffing on the cigarette, hoping I would calm a little but when I got down to the end I flicked into the astray frustrated.

I wiped away my tears and clamped my hands over my face. How could things turn so sour so quickly? We were starting over, starting fresh, but obviously that couldn't work out. Nothing ever went right with me. The only good thing is that my dad hadn't found out where I had gone. If he had, I don't know what I would do. Leave the country maybe. That seemed like a good idea now. But I didn't want to keep running, I had done to much of it. I needed to face everything, deal with it all, no just leave it and hide away from it all. When the doorbell ran I pounced up and tore it open, falling into Trisha's arms instantly.

She led me back into the apartment and onto my couch, rubbing my back and trying to calm me. She didn't ask me what's wrong, she just held me like any good friend would. I was glad she didn't asked, I really didn't want to tell her everything from my past and what really happened between me and Shane. Not yet, I wasn't ready for that. I spent the next hour crying into her shoulder while she stroked my wild brown hair. I lifted my head and gave her an appreciative smile.

"Thank you" I whispered as I placed my hand on her arm. She patted my hand and walked into my kitchen, coming back out with two glasses of wine. I laughed slightly and took it from her hand.

She sat back down at looked at me with worried eyes. "Are you ready to tell me what's wrong?" she asked slowly. I shook my head and she nodded. "It's fine, whenever your ready, you can tell me, im always here to help" she said with an encouraging smile. I smiled back and clicked my glass with hers. I downed the drink very quickly, hoping it would numb the pain. But of course it didn't. Just then Trisha's phone began to ring. She placed her glass on my coffee table and answered. "Hey babe, are you sure, ok, I'll be there soon, bye" she said into the phone before hanging up. She turned to me. "Mitch, im sorry but I have to get back home, are you going to be ok? If you need me just call ok?" she said. I nodded and watched as she walked out the door.

And I was alone again, alone with nothing but my thoughts. Thoughts of only Shane, and what could have been if he just believed me. my phone then rang also. I answered without looking at the caller ID. "Hello?" I croaked.

"Mitchie, what is going on? Why does Shane think me and you had something going on in camp?" Came Jason's confused voice. I sighed and rubbed my temple.

"Sylvia told him that I cheated on him with you" I said thickly. I could feel the tears stinging my eyes again.

I heard Jason scoff. "I never liked that girl, why would she say something so stupid" he said angrily.

I laughed harshly. "Because she didn't want me to be with Shane, so she made up that we had a thing back in camp" I shook my head as I spoke the words. This was all stupid.

He let out a long breath. "But why me? now Shane wont talk to me, or even look at me" he said loudly.

I sniffed. "Because you're a close friend, and his Brother, she knew It would tick Shane off, and you know how he has trust issues, that's why he believes her, and probably because of al the things I have done to him, he just thinks it sounds like something I would do" I said quietly.

"But you would never cheat on him, he should know that" he said sternly. I sighed again. Everything he was saying was true, Shane should have trusted me, I trusted him, well, he was the only person I trusted. Along with him and his brothers. I lost all trust in men after my father, but I could never loose trust in the three most important people in my life. I turned my head, facing the bathroom. I then remembered something.

"Jason, just try and tell him that nothing happened between us, I have to go, I'll speak to you soon" I said dazed as I hung up. I dropped my phone and began to walk to the bathroom. Ripping open the draw I pulled out my razor. I hadn't cut in a while and I was trying to stop, but right now, I needed it. Placing it against my arm, I slowly drug it across, I winced in pain at first but then the pain went and I couldn't feel anything, just the blood pulsing through the gash in my arm. Another line, another and another. Until I had two gashes on each arm. I let out a whimper as I stared at both arms. No wonder Shane didn't want to be with me, I was a mess. I brought a towel to my wrists and pressed them together against the towel. A sob then ripped through me. I have tried so hard to forget everything and move on, but it all seems to come back whenever something goes wrong. I cant ever escape my past.

When the blood on my arms had dried a little bit, I dialled someone's number. Someone I needed more than anything. As I dialled it a small smile formed on my lips. I waited impatiently tapping my fingers waiting for her to answer.

"Hello?" came her sweet voice. I missed her so much, I needed her more than ever now. She was there for me through everything, I shouldn't have left without telling her. She deserved more than that.

"Hey Caity" I whispered through my tears. I heard her soft gasp as I heard her choke on the other line, making me cry even more.

"Mitchie?" She breathed as I heard the excitement in her voice. I laughed and nodded to myself. How I had missed her bubbly voice, it always seemed to put a smile on my face. Now all I needed was to see her.

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