Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or its characters.
Warnings: Slash (RL/SB), Rape, Cutting, etc.
a/n: Umm…I don't know if you'll understand the time spans, but just to be sure the first part kind of happens at the same time then the second…kind of overlapping but still mostly after the second…you'll get it when you read it; I hope :)
Just Believe Me
"I'm sick of all of this Sirius, stop tormenting Remus already!" James stood next to his friend's bed, staring annoyed at the dog animagus who just kept reading his quiddich magazine. "He's had enough!"
"Maybe you should tell him to stop sleeping with everyone who's available and then I wouldn't call him a whore."
"He's not sleeping with anyone and it's none of your business anyway, he's got nothing to do with you anymore." James could see how the words affected Sirius, he tensed up and stood, annoyed and angry.
"You're right." Sirius's voice was soft and quiet. Even if it hurt, Sirius couldn't argue, it was true he had no connection to Remus now, he wasn't even a friend anymore. "I actually don't care at all, it just annoys me that he goes around the whole school, just… whoring himself. Why can't he at least wait to get a room?"
"Whatever Sirius, just stay away from him and find someone else to torture, okay?" James turned and walked out of the room, leaving Sirius to hate himself for talking about Remus like that. He didn't want to keep being so angry, he wanted to hit himself every time he called Remus a whore.
On top of it all his brain kept providing images and scenarios to torture him. He kept picturing Remus with other guys, doing everything they did together; it hurt him to think about Remus kissing Malfoy or hugging Ryan. Sitting with other boys under the willow near the lake or whispering sweet nothings in the astronomy tower.
He didn't want to think about the werewolf anymore, even seeing him near James made him feel awfully jealous and it was killing him inside that he couldn't even fight for the boy he loved. He had to pretend that he didn't care anymore.
The door suddenly opened and a tearful Remus came walking inside, he didn't seem to notice Sirius at first but as soon as he saw the taller marauder he stopped and stared at him with scared eyes. Sirius looked away and Remus walked hastily towards his own bed, sniffling softly. The silence in the room was awkward as Remus climbed to his bed and started pulling the drapes.
Sirius stared as Remus struggled to pull the curtains closed with his shaking hands. "Are you okay?" Remus seemed startled because of the question, but Sirius hadn't been able to stop his concern, even if he was supposed to hate the tawny haired boy.
Remus only nodded, giving Sirius a small thankful smile, before turning and closing the drapes around his bed. Sirius sighed at hearing the soft sobbing that came from the bed; he had seen how fake Remus' smile had been, he seemed in so much pain. Soon the room was quiet again, making Sirius realize that Remus had put a silencing spell around his bed.
Sirius wanted to comfort Remus, but he couldn't bring himself to do it, so he just sat in his bed trying to clear his thoughts from tearful eyes and fake smiles.
The past night he had dreamt with Malfoy. In his dream the Slytherin had sneaked into his dorm room and was forcefully kissing him, trying to repeat what he had done before. Remus had managed to pull away and call for help.
He almost cried in joy when Sirius approached his bed; he thought that this time Sirius would help him, he hadn't though. The Black heir had only looked at him with disgust and left the room, muttering about how much of a slut Remus was; he had woken up crying, sobbing pathetically into his pillows and trying to pretend that Sirius' presence wouldn't make everything better. He hadn't been able to sleep after that, he could barely sleep since Malfoy had attacked him.
Now he was mindlessly walking around the castle trying to dissipate his thoughts, he wanted to stop cutting and harming himself just to get a little bit of peace. James had started noticing that the wounds he had never seemed to heal and the constant blood stains on the sleeves of his shirts were causing his friend to look at him suspiciously. Remus knew it was wrong, it wasn't normal even if it felt good, even if it made the pain subside.
He wasn't succeeding in distracting himself though, he was already starting to miss cutting. This didn't make him numb, it just made him nervous and on edge. Every time he saw a flash of blonde hair he felt his heart speed up and tears rise to his eyes; every time he bumped into someone he gave a small jump. He felt like any human contact would harm him.
Finally Remus realized he was doing more damage than good and chose to return to the Gryffindor common room, at least there he could find a seat and try to read. As he was walking back he suddenly felt a hand on his arm, which pulled him back into a classroom.
He turned around to find Malfoy smirking at him. The werewolf started struggling as soon as he saw the blonde. Still, even if he tried, he wasn't strong enough, the fact that he hadn't been eating or sleeping much only added to how weak he was.
"Let me go!" Remus could feel the tears coming. His voice sounded desperate and it only seemed to make his tormentor's smile bigger. "Please Malfoy, just leave me alone!"
"Shhh.." He leaned close to Remus, pressing his chest to the smaller boy's. "Calm down and I'll think about letting you go." He leaned close and kissed Remus' cheek since the werewolf had moved his lips to the side, desperate to avoid the contact. "Besides, I silenced the room, no one will hear you anyway." Remus slumped against the door, he didn't know how he would escape.
"What do you want Malfoy?" Remus sounded tired, defeated and sad, it made Malfoy smirk.
"I want you." The blonde nuzzled Remus' neck, making him shiver, he hated to have Malfoy so close. "I want to own you, to do whatever I want with you." Malfoy pressed his body to Remus' nipping the boy's neck.
"Let me go!" Remus tried pushing him away again but it was to no avail. Malfoy's words scared him, he wouldn't be able to take being used by the boy again.
"Don't worry pet, I won't play with you today." Malfoy gave an amused laugh at the way Remus' eyes filled with tears.
"Please Malfoy just leave me alone…"
"I don't think so, you're too cute when you're crying." Malfoy had leaned over to whisper in his ear. "I bet Black thinks the same, after all, he just loves making you cry doesn't he?"
Remus could feel a tear making its way down his cheek, the Slytherin's words made him remember every unkind word, every insult Sirius had thrown his way. He hated what their relationship had become. Remus used to believe they would be together forever, that they were meant to be, now Sirius couldn't even look at him.
"He doesn't care about you Remus." Malfoy spoke with a fake voice of concern. "He can't give you what you want, not like I can." The blonde had that evil smirk again and Remus turned his head away.
"I don't want anything from you Malfoy." Remus' voice was still soft but the words made the smug Slytherin angry.
"Well right now I'm the only one who's willing to give you anything, aren't I?"
"No, Sirius will…he'll love me again, soon he'll forget that he hates me and…" Remus trailed off knowing how desperate and pathetic he words sounded. Besides, even he knew it was a lie, Sirius would never love him again.
"Thought so." Malfoy leaned again and started kissing Remus' jaw, feeling the werewolf pull away again. He leaned slightly away growling in anger. "Well, how about this: either you're mine or your precious ex boyfriend is."
Remus tensed at that, looking at Malfoy with fear in his eyes. He couldn't let Sirius suffer through what he had, he loved Sirius he had to protect him. Sirius may be stronger than he was but Malfoy would probably get a few of his friends to help and then Sirius would be as broken as he is. Remus couldn't let that happen, he loved the black haired boy, he couldn't let Malfoy hurt Sirius.
"Besides, imagine what his family would think if they find out he's been sneaking around with a mud blood whore." Remus flinched at the description of himself. He knew Sirius would agree, he would probably add his own insults now.
Sirius had had problems with his family for years now, something like this would make them kick him out. Remus' family had reacted bad to him being gay, Sirius' would not only disown him, they might even hurt the pureblood heir.
"No! Please don't hurt Sirius! Please…I'll, I'll be yours just…please." Remus could already imagine all the consequences Sirius could suffer if his family knew. Not to mention, it broke his heart to think about Sirius with the bruises he had gotten from Malfoy. The image of Sirius as hurt as he had been made the tears fall down his face. Sirius should never have to endure what he had.
Malfoy leaned fast, catching Remus' lips in a hard kiss. Remus refused to open his mouth to let the blonde's tongue in, but the older boy only chuckled about it. He then pulled away looking at the frightened boy with a possessive look. "Should I give you a demonstration of what I can do to your pretty lover?"
Remus shook his head leaning towards Malfoy and kissing him. The blonde laughed after pulling away. He finally let go of Remus' arms and stepped back.
"I'll tell you when we can have more fun." The blonde's whisper made Remus flinch. He didn't want to even be close to the guy, how was he supposed to pretend he liked him?
Malfoy walked out of the room while Remus only dropped to the ground, pulling his knees close to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. He didn't want to be Malfoy's pet, he didn't want to kiss the boy or feel the Slytherin's hands on him. It had been his nightmares for weeks now and it would only get worse.
Sirius left the dorm as soon as soon as he realized he wouldn't be going to help Remus. He needed to find someone new to love, he couldn't keep thinking about Remus all day long, he had to move on.
He got to the common room looking around for someone who could catch his eye.
A/N: Sorry for the delay guys, I just have so much stories to update that sometimes I neglect some of them :(
Anyway, the plot thickens! o.o hopefully you liked this chapter, I know it was short but I didn't want to mix too much and the next chapter should definitely be separated so…sorry.
Also, if there's any mistakes, I'm sorry I kind of rushed in the editing and stuff :S
I'll try to update fast, ok? :P
-XxFallingxAngelxX
