A/N: So here is the truth revealed about Rhae's past with Thorin. I actually teared up a bit writing the later part of this chapter. :) Thanks again for all the views! Please leave a review and let me know what you think or if I've messed something up in an unforgivable way lol! This adventure is causing me to become more acquainted with Tolkien and his wonderful world than I ever thought I would be. :) I'm having a lot of fun with this story and ideas are coming to me all the time. :)
Angel897: Thank you for your review! I'm so glad to hear that you're enjoying it!
Just4Me: He is such an adorable dwarf, isn't he? I'm glad you liked hearing about the Rangers' connection to Rivendell. I looked into that one hard to make sure I got it right (I hope I didn't mess anything up!).
Nope, nothing is mine except Rhae.
When Thorin didn't immediately respond Rhaella flopped back down on the bench she'd been sitting on, rested her hands, still fisted, on her knees and lowered her head, taking deep breaths in an effort to calm herself. Revealing her past history with the dwarf king was not something she had planned on but his continued pig-headedness had finally pushed the wrong nerve. She had long ago overcome her grudge against Thorin, fought long battles against the lingering anger; it was in the past, nothing would change it. That didn't mean once the hatred was gone she had automatically had warm, fuzzy feelings about the dwarf king. No, she had still disliked him but that had not stopped her from agreeing to help him and his kin. They had something in common but it seemed only she had been able to forgive and move on, not letting that past wrong consume her or influence her present decisions. She also had never held his entire race in contempt because of his decision. He had been betrayed and deeply wounded by the elves the day Smaug came, she understood that, but if he wanted to get into Erebor then they needed Lord Elrond's help. An unreadable map wasn't much use.
"Are you alright, lassie?" Balin asked gently. He had come to sit next to her, switching places with Bofur who had been to her left. No one else had dared come near her. They had seen her angry and annoyed during the journey but the fiery fury in her eyes as she'd yelled at Thorin made them all feel it would be wise to steer clear.
"Aye, I'm alright, Balin," she finally replied, taking a last deep breath to push the anger away.
"I don't want to pry where its unwelcome," he asked, apprehension clear in his voice, "but what did you mean about your father? That's quite a thing to say." Rhae could tell Balin was afraid she'd lash out if angered but she couldn't blame him for his curiosity. The entire company was surely wanting to hear her explanation. She supposed she owed them that; she had just basically called their king a murderer. Rhae was quiet for many moments, the memories of that time so long ago coming back to the surface. They were painful but there was no hiding it any longer. There was no anger in her voice when she finally starting speaking, just sadness and exhaustion.
"It was many, many years ago. I was just a child ten years old. My father and I were journeying from Forochel to the Shire and then on to Bree. We'd heard of more orc raids north of the ruins of Annuminas and so instead of journeying that way to get on the Great North Road we took a safer route. Father decided we'd go further west and then follow the River Lhûn south towards the Shire. We were caught in a surprise storm, a late blizzard that blew in quickly from the west. Knowing we didn't have sufficient shelter to outlast a blizzard and since we were so close, father took us to the Blue Mountains. He had met King Thror in the past and thought his grandson would help us. He was wrong." Pausing she glanced up and caught Thorin's eye. There was still a look of surprise and confusion on his face but she thought she saw the flicker of memory in his eyes.
"I was amazed at the halls we were lead into when we arrived. It was so different from what I was accustomed to in the camps or here in Rivendell. It was truly magnificent to see. I thought I would have a good time exploring while we waited out the storm. However we were not allowed shelter. Thorin told my father outsiders were not welcome and as the race of Men had stabbed them in the back countless times the dwarves were not disposed to offer help to one. My father didn't argue, didn't question the order. So we headed southeast in the hope of reaching the Shire after all...and we got so close. Somewhere in the North Moors father succumbed to the cold. I think he must have been suffering with something else, something he never told me about, to have succumbed like that. He was not a weak man. I couldn't just leave him laying there in the snow and I managed to dig a shallow trench and cover his body with stones. Taking his weapons and some of what he carried I continued on. The snow was deep, I was hungry, and the load I carried almost outweighed me but I was determined to survive. I wasn't going to let a dwarf triumph over me." She shivered slightly as she recalled the cold and anguish she had trudged through after losing her father. She had felt so alone as she'd wandered through that frigid, white landscape. She had wanted to give up after a couple of days but she would always bring the vision of the dwarf king to mind as he sent them away and that angered her enough to continue on. The dwarves stared at her in horror imagining what she had been forced to endure as a small child. With how precious children were to their culture the picture of a tiny brunette girl-child digging her father's grave and then traveling the wild alone did not sit well with them.
"I didn't make it to the Shire. Father hadn't worked with me on how to travel in the wild reading the signs available and my directional skills weren't honed well. I had headed more due east and into more isolated territory. I don't know how many days passed but Gandalf found me slumped at the base of a tree near the Brandywine. If he hadn't found me then I don't think even my stubbornness would've kept me alive much longer." She looked over at the wizard and he smiled warmly at her. "He brought me to Rivendell to regain my strength and then to begin the training my father had only started with me."
There was no sound except the crackling of the fire as a stunned silence fell over the group. The dwarves' eyes darted between their king and their Ranger aghast at her story and truly perplexed that she would be here helping them, helping Thorin, after what she'd suffered. Bilbo didn't know what to think or do; never would he have expected to hear such a confession and he stared at the pipe in his hands miserably. Gandalf sat as usual, calmly puffing on his pipe as if nothing momentous had just been revealed to them. Rhaella just sat and observed the flames in front of her, deciding it would be up to the dwarf king to make the next move. It was the first time she'd told her story to anyone besides Gandalf and Elrond and she suddenly felt completely drained.
Thorin stared as dawning realization came over him, a long forgotten memory suddenly recalled with perfect clarity. That was why he had felt a sense of recognition when he'd first looked in the Ranger's face. It had been her eyes. He could see the Dunedain man as he'd stood before him that day asking for shelter until the storm ended. He could remember, now wincing at the thought, his disdainful words as he smugly had, he thought, a small sliver of vengeance on one from the race that had so spurned and cheated his kind. And he remembered - Oh Mahal how painfully clear he now remembered - the little brown haired girl, bundled in a heavy cloak with the hood pushed back, clasping her father's hand, how her face had gone completely blank as she realized what was happening and the fire he'd seen within her eyes, surprising for someone so young. The Dunedain had not argued and Thorin recalled the look of resignation in the man's eyes - he had known what would happen once they walked out of Ered Luin - but he had merely thanked him for his time and had turned and left. The girl had followed, sparing one unreadable glance back at the king before pulling her hood up and following her father. Thorin had never thought of them again, had never even sent out scouts to see if they had reached their destination. They had been unimportant and he'd forgotten them and the encounter - until now. Something inside him ached as he looked at her and he wanted to speak but could find no words. What could he say?
"But yet you are here, with us now, traveling to help us regain our home," Fíli breathed in amazement. "Why?" He was angry at what she had faced, alone, as a small child and because of a decision from his uncle. He could now understand her caution around Thorin throughout the beginning of their journey. It made something inside hurt to think of what she had been going through while he had been safe at home in the mountains.
"Why not? I was called upon to help and that is a Ranger's job. I can help you reclaim your home. I've given my word and nothing will change that, not even what has happened to me in the past."
"You must hate us," Kíli murmured and Rhae could almost hear the sharp intake of breath from the other dwarves.
"No, Kíli, I do not hate you. I never have. It would be ridiculous to despise an entire race simply because of the actions of one." She could feel all eyes on her and looked up, locking gazes with Thorin. There was more hardness in her voice when she spoke again. "I am not one to hold grudges. There is no point in it. The one you hate certainly doesn't suffer and you are left with a festering wound that makes you bitter and miserable. In the end you gain nothing. Yes, I can say that for many years I hated Thorin for the pain that he had caused me. It ate away at me, occupied many of my thoughts, but eventually I grew up and wiser heads helped me to overcome that." She paused, eyes remaining locked with the blue eyed dwarf across from her. "I long ago forgave Thorin Oakenshield for his decision. You cannot change the past by holding on to it."
Taking a deep breath she continued, more gently this time. "I may have accepted this quest in the beginning as a favor to a friend but it has since become much more to me. I am not a dwarf but this group has become like my family and as such I will have you know that I will do all in my power to help you reclaim Erebor." She let her eyes rove over everyone around the fire and was met with looks of surprise, appreciation, and fondness. As she said the words she knew the truth in them. They had become her family, family she hadn't had since she was ten years old, and there wasn't anything she would not do to help them.
"You're like family to us now as well, lassie." Balin finally broke the tension, patting her gently on the shoulder. She gave them a soft smile as murmurs of agreement came from many of the others.
"I need some fresh air so if you will excuse me, I'm going to take a little walk before I sleep. I will see everyone in the morning." After she slipped from the room, almost as one, thirteen pairs of eyes turned to Thorin. Only Gandalf seemed unconcerned. No one spoke but words weren't necessary; Thorin knew what they wanted.
"It was so long ago I'd completely forgotten," he finally said, his voice very low.
"You really sent them back out in a blizzard?" His youngest nephew looked at him in confusion and all he could do was nod slowly. "Why?"
Thorin thought back, feeling frustrated with himself. "I was still very angry at the time, Kíli. We had traveled far and had done much work over the years in the villages and towns of Men. We were treated with suspicion and contempt everywhere we went. Our best work was requested but in many cases full payment was withheld. I do not know what caused me to act in such a way. It was a childish, unworthy reaction from me."
"Everyone makes decisions they'd like to take back, even kings," Balin said compassionately. "We can only hope we learn from our mistakes." He knew how hard it was for the king to admit when he'd been wrong. Thorin was an honorable dwarf, holding tightly to the traditions he had been taught at his grandfather's knee and knowing he had put a child in danger would upset him greatly. And to discover that something he had done in a fit of petty revenge, which is what it was even if he couldn't admit it, had caused one he now cared for such suffering would eat away at him. He watched his cousin for a bit and wasn't surprised when he finally left the room. The best thing for Thorin now would be to clear his head and hopefully talk to their Ranger.
Not knowing where the Ranger might have gone he headed towards the gardens and pathways outside, hoping to find her and not get lost in the process. Once away from the company his shoulders sagged, her words whirling in his head. All the looks of disgust he'd seen on her face, the reluctance to even be around him, it all made sense now. He was amazed she had agreed to help him in the first place. Though he couldn't change the past he was truly ashamed of the way he'd treated the Dunedain that day. Yes, many from the race of Men had spurned them, falsely accused them, withheld payment for work but it had not been all of them. There had been kind and generous people who had offered food, shelter, and paid extra for a job well done. He had not acted as a king should, extracting petty vengeance on an innocent man - and his daughter. His daughter! His beautiful, courageous, brown haired daughter. Oh Mahal what had he done?
After roaming around rather aimlessly Thorin found himself by one of the elves' many gardens when a slight movement off to his side alerted him to the Ranger's presence. She hadn't spotted him, though he was sure she had heard him, and so he quietly approached, hoping she wouldn't lash out at him again.
"What do you need, Master Oakenshield?" she asked without turning around, her voice sounding exhausted. Reverting back to the formal way she had addressed him in the beginning and not calling him by name brought home how upset she was. What did he want? He wasn't sure but he felt an urgent desire to look into her eyes, tell her that he was sorry for his actions, and to hopefully see that she didn't hate him. Above all he wanted to see that she didn't hate him.
"Ranger - Rhaella, I am sorry." Her shoulders seemed to slump for a moment and he began to think she wasn't going to respond. She still hadn't moved.
"Thank you, Master Oakenshield, though an apology at this point isn't really necessary. We can not change the past even if we wanted to. But thank you for saying it."
"I wanted you to know that I am sorry for everything my arrogance caused you. I truly mean that. I know those words can't change anything, can't bring your father back, but if I could go back in time I would act differently." The sudden urge to pull her into his arms was overwhelming and he had to struggle to keep his hands at his sides. She would not welcome his touch. But oh how he wanted to! He wanted to hold her close and make sure she knew how sorry he was for what he had done. Rhae finally turned to face him, her face a carefully controlled blank, though he desperately searched to uncover any hint of her feelings towards him. He didn't know why it was so important to him but it was.
"Why did you do it?"
He had expected this question but nevertheless he sighed and ran a hand through his hair, wondering what in the world he could say. "Petty vengeance, I suppose. We had been cheated and lied to so often by many in the villages we'd worked in and I was very angry. I suppose it was a means to get revenge on the race of Men for never helping us, for always trying to make us feel like we weren't worth the dirt on the bottom of their boots. A pathetic and horrible reason, I know, but that is why."
"Yet another grudge you hold, Thorin Oakenshield. And did your small act of revenge change anything?" He had to shake his head, clearly understanding where she was going with this. "So you gained nothing, nothing changed between dwarves and Men, and the race you wanted to hurt never even knew of your 'revenge.' Only two people suffered - my father and I. Two people wholly unconnected to what had happened to you. What of your other grudge?"
"What other grudge?"
A roll of her eyes. "Your continued hatred of the elves. Has anything changed for you from this hatred? Have the elves and Thranduil suffered at all from it? No, they have not and I can't see as how you've gained anything."
"They refused to help us, ignored us in our greatest need. Left us to wander and die in the wild."
"Yes, they did and you did the same to my father and I. I have no answer as to Thranduil's reasoning, except he's as stubborn and pigheaded as you. I do agree with you on one thing. I have never liked him; his arrogance knows no bounds. I understand your hatred towards him, he was the one who made the decision, but to hate the entire race?"
"If they had wanted to any could have offered us help."
"And how would you treat any of your kind if they went against your will and order? What would you have done if one of the dwarves had taken my father and I in after you had sent us away?" He had no answer for that and began to feel a bit uncomfortable as she continued to watch him in silence.
"I am not saying your anger and hatred towards Thranduil is wrong or even undeserved. His action was not what one would expect of a king, turning away those only seeking temporary aid, but don't let that hatred cloud your judgment about other things. You want to find that secret door but you cannot read the map. If you do not accept help from Lord Elrond where does that leave you?"
"He will try to stop us."
"Perhaps but I doubt it. He will most likely disagree with what you are doing but he's not going to keep you prisoner here. Think of the alternative if you do not show him the map. You know that dwarven doors are invisible. Your key is useless without the door. Of course you could always walk up to the front gate and see if Smaug is home." Rhae could see he was struggling with her words. The grudges he held had been there for so long they were almost a part of him. "I am not asking you to like the elves. Just remember, not everyone wishes you ill."
She began to walk away and he reached out and touched her arm, hoping to keep her with him longer. "Do you hate me for my part in your father's death?" This was all he wanted to know at the moment; he'd figure everything else out later.
"No, Thorin, I do not hate you, as I told your nephew earlier. I did when I was younger but I grew up and realized it served no purpose to continue hating you.
"But you are angry with me."
"I am angry at the fact that you are going to let your own anger, your own stubbornness, keep you from obtaining that which you have so long desired. I knew this possibility when I accepted this task but I still agreed. My hatred of you was long gone even then and I hoped I would be able to help you see past all that. Liking you or trusting you were a completely different matter which is why when Gandalf approached me about joining your quest I had to consider it for a while; I had to decide if you were worth helping."
"And do you?"
"Do I what?"
"Trust me?" He paused and she thought his face turned a bit red. "And...like me?" It was obvious how difficult it had been for him to ask such a question and she was moved by the slight vulnerability she heard in his voice. There was something else there, she could see it in his eyes, those riveting blue eyes that were locked on hers. Her mouth suddenly felt very dry and it was difficult to breathe.
"Yes, Thorin, I like you and I trust you with my life," she finally whispered. It was hard to speak over the erratic thudding of her heart. Something sparked in his eyes and she knew she should leave but found her feet wouldn't move. The hand still on her arm seemed to tighten slightly while he brought the other up to her chin. Her head screamed at her, telling her to go but her heart and feet refused to listen. Realization suddenly dawned on her. Somehow all her past animosity towards the dwarf king had vanished and been replaced with something completely different.
"Rhaella," Thorin said in a low voice, a voice that sent shivers down her spine, and brought his lips softly to her hers. When she didn't jerk away he gently wrapped his arms around her, deepening the kiss and - by Mahal! - she responded. He felt her grip at the front of his shirt, a slight moan in the back of her throat as she kissed him back. He thrilled at the feel of her body against his and how she seemed to fit naturally, almost as if she had been made for him. She may have been equal to him in height but her body was so much smaller, felt so deceptively delicate and fragile. His skin felt hot and he could feel his blood rushing through his veins like fire. No female had ever had this affect on him. It was intoxicating. He wanted to take her somewhere much more private and make her his completely.
She was falling, she had to be, and it was only Thorin's arms keeping her upright. There was no way her legs would be able to support her as they felt like jelly. There had been some kisses in her past, especially when she was much younger, but never had it felt like this. Never had she felt like a fire had been kindled inside of her. She was wrapped tightly in the warmth of his arms, the smells she always associated with him - leather and pipe smoke and something that was just Thorin - surrounding her, and she felt completely protected. For the first time since her father died she felt safe. She slid her arms up around his neck, wanting to be as close as possible to him. She enjoyed the feel of his hand on her lower back, the way his beard felt against her skin. This, she mussed to herself, is what surrender feels like.
Thorin tried to rein himself in before his raging emotions took complete control. It was tempting, so very, very tempting, but he would not do anything dishonorable. He ached for more but knew he had no right and he would do nothing that might jeopardize his chance at one day obtaining that right. He slowly broke the kiss and pressed his forehead against hers, taking several deep breaths in an attempt to calm his breathing. She was still wrapped securely in his arms and he could feel her trembling. After a moment she laid her head on his shoulder, snaking her arms around his waist. He couldn't keep the amazed smile off his lips and pressed his cheek against her hair.
"Are you cold?"
"No." Her answer thrilled and surprised him at the same time. She was trembling because of him? He had such an affect on her? He tightened his hold and heard her soft sigh of contentment. They stayed like that for some time, neither wanting to move, enjoying this new shift in their relationship but neither able, or willing, to admit what it truly meant. Rhae wasn't sure how long they stood there in each others arms but she reluctantly moved away when she caught the sound of footsteps nearing. A dark haired elf walked by without a glance at the dwarf and Ranger in the shadows. She wanted to return to the warmth of Thorin's arms but suddenly felt a bit shy and tried to take a few steps back. He kept a gentle grip on her arm, turning her back to face him. She didn't know what to say. Her mind was a blank. He had kissed her, held her, and she had enjoyed it, responded even. And he was still standing there, hand on her elbow, looking at her with those piercing blue eyes.
"Are you alright?"
She nodded. "It is late. I should probably go. We've all had a long day."
He held his arm out to her and she slipped her hand into it, enjoying the feel of the fabric of his sleeve beneath her fingers. "I will escort you back to your room." They walked in silence, both lost in thought. Thorin tried to find a reason to keep her by his side but he couldn't think of anything. Well, he couldn't think of anything honorable.
"Will you not join the company while we're here?"
"I will tomorrow. For tonight I'd like to enjoy the comfort of a soft mattress beneath me."
Thorin struggled to not say what was on the tip of his tongue. "Very well. We will see you in the morning." He brushed a soft kiss on her knuckles and headed down the hall as she slipped through the door. Knowing it was going to be almost impossible to sleep now he hoped the company wouldn't be awake so he wouldn't have to explain his long absence. That was not something he was prepared to discuss. Luck was on his side. Only Dwalin was on watch, a habit they couldn't release no matter where they were, when he entered and the burly warrior knew better than to question his friend. Thorin stretched out on his bedroll and stared into the dying fire. He could still feel Rhae's lips under his, her body trembling as it was pressed to him. The bliss he had felt was something he had never experienced before. When he was with her it just felt right. Her presence brought him a comfort he hadn't felt since he was a child. It was becoming harder to deny that she was perfect for him. He was glad he had managing to keep himself under control though he had desperately wanted to throw caution to the wind. Intimacy like that was only permitted between a married couple and he would not dishonor his family or Rhaella like that.
His dreams that night were full of a brown haired Ranger dressed in Durin blue, his braid in her hair, her hand on his arm as they entered the King's chambers in Erebor.
Rhae lay looking at the ceiling for quite awhile before finally giving in and closing her eyes. The argument with Thorin, the revelation of her past history with him, and then their time together in the garden, they were all replaying in her head. Thinking of Thorin's kiss and the feel of being in his arms caused her heart even now to skip a beat. How could this have happened? She didn't really like the dwarf king. Respect, yes, but like him? Not in more than a friendly way certainly. It couldn't be anything more than that, could it? She thought back over their journey thus far, trying to decipher when her long held dislike for Thorin Oakenshield vanished. Moments when he had ridden next to her, their various conversations, how attentive he had been since her accident all played before her eyes. She couldn't pinpoint one instance and she slowly realized it had happened over time without her ever being aware, though looking back at her own words and actions it was certainly clear. Yes, she would admit it now. She liked and trusted Thorin, just as she'd assured him earlier, but beyond that? What of that flutter she felt anytime she looked at him or the way she couldn't breathe when she met his searing gaze? Rhae shook her head slightly, frustrated at herself. She wasn't going to think on it any more this evening, she needed sleep.
It was not a restful slumber.
She knew she had to be dreaming when she opened her eyes as she saw not the walls of Rivendell but a clearing in a circle of trees. It took her a moment to realize it was a spot she remembered from her childhood in the Ranger camps. She had played here with Rhaemyr many times.
"Rhaella." She froze at the voice behind her, a voice she hadn't heard in over sixty years. Turning quickly she gasped in shock. Her senses had to playing tricks on her in her exhaustion.
"Da?" she whispered.
"My darling little Ella." She choked back a sob and flung herself at him. The tears came loose when she felt his familiar arms wrap around her in a tight embrace and he held her close while she cried. Rhae wasn't sure if she was crying because she was so surprised or because she had missed him so much. All she knew was he held her for quite a while.
"Let me look at you, dear girl," he said once her tears had subsided and she lifted her face to his. "You are grown as beautiful as your mother and just as courageous."
She smiled at him, drinking in his features - the same untidy windswept brown hair streaked with gray, the kind brown eyes, the strong shoulders. "I've missed you so much, Da."
"I've missed you, too, and I hated to leave you. I was so worried but once Gandalf found you I knew you would be fine."
"How did you know he found me?"
"Ella my dear, I've always been with you, watching you. I am so proud of how you've grown. You are a formidable Ranger and a fierce protector of our line. You've come further than I think even Rhaemyr could have come."
"Is - is he with you? Is mother?"
"I have seen them, yes, and they are just as proud of you as I am. They could not come to you as I have though."
"How? How can you even do this?"
"We must talk, my dear girl." He lead her to a log and waited until she was seated next to him to begin. "You made the correct choice in joining the company of Thorin Oakenshield. I know you had your doubts but you wisely overcame them. As you told the dwarf earlier you realized long ago the futility in holding a grudge. That shows wisdom."
"You know I said that?"
"Didn't I just tell you I've always been with you?"
"Oh. Then you saw -?"
His eyes sparkled in humor. "Yes and we will talk about that in a moment." She blushed slightly and he patted her hand. "Do you know why Gandalf is so determined to help the dwarves reclaim Erebor?"
"Because it is Thorin's birthright, that is what he said anyway."
"You don't believe him?"
"I believe him but I know he hasn't revealed everything. He never does."
Rhaethan chuckled. "He certainly enjoys keeping things to himself but that is the way of wizards." He became serious again. "Gandalf has more than one reason in initiating and assisting this quest. Erebor is indeed, Thorin's birthright and he should be King Under the Mountain. The dragon, however, is the wizard's primary concern. He is afraid that others may seek to ally with Smaug and use him as a devastating weapon against Middle Earth." She frowned at his words, thinking them over carefully. A trickle of cold fear ran down her spine.
"He is afraid Sauron would try to use him."
"You have felt it?"
"Yes, even before this quest began. I have felt it on the breeze, felt it in the ground. The darkness is growing. I feel the Watchful Peace is coming to an end."
"He is not yet strong enough but his strength is growing. We do not think anyone will be able to keep him from returning. That is why Smaug must be destroyed."
"If we can not stop Sauron then...what hope do we have? Why do we risk so much now if the end result is inevitable?"
"I said that we can't stop his return. I did not say he can't or won't be defeated. That is why you are so important, my dear. You are helping to pave the way to that eventual defeat."
"I don't understand. How can I help to defeat the Dark Lord?"
"It is not for you to defeat him. It is for someone else. You are to help set the stage for that battle, to make it possible, though it is many years from now."
"Someone else? Do you mean -?"
"Yes. Which is why we must protect Middle Earth the best we can until he is ready. He has to have time to learn, to grow into the man that can unite the kingdoms." She was silent as she contemplated what her father had revealed about the future. It was distressing though not without a ray of hope. But to hold out against a strengthening Sauron until the boy was old enough? It would take more than just the Rangers.
"With the dwarves in Erebor we have more defense in the east." He nodded. "I wish Gandalf had explained this to me."
"It is not his way as you are well aware, but you also had to learn to truly embrace those you are helping. It will take a true heart to stand strong in the face of what's to come." She wasn't about to ask her father what he knew about the immediate future; that was knowledge she was much better without.
"I suppose all this will need to be kept to myself?"
"For the time being, yes. Eventually Thorin can be told." She felt a blush raise to her cheeks again. "Ah, yes, and now about your relationship with the king."
"I'm sorry, Da. I don't know what came over me. I -"
"Hush. There is no reason to apologize. Why would you even feel the need to?"
"Well, because - because he sent us back out into the cold. Because you died in that blizzard he could've sheltered us from." The tears threatened to spill over again.
"Ella, my child, I never blamed Thorin Oakenshield for what happened. He made a decision that he felt at the time was right. I know you, however, did blame him and that you harbored a hatred for him for many years. But you overcame that, didn't you?" She nodded. "I knew you would, you were always such a bright child. You told Thorin earlier to not let his hatred of the elves keep him from obtaining that which he desires. I would say the same to you. Do not let past ill will keep you from accepting what is offered to you. I know it is hard but I'm sure you can do it."
"I'm not sure I completely understand."
"You're a grown woman. You'll figure it out in time. Don't close yourself off to Thorin Oakenshield. He may be a stubborn dwarf, infuriating at times, but he is a good man. He will need you, need your strength and counsel as this quest continues." He looked up and over her head for a moment. "I'm afraid our time together is done. It is almost morning."
"Da, please don't go."
"I must."
"Will I see you again?"
"I do not know. But know that I'm always keeping an eye on you and your brother, mother and I will be here awaiting you to join us in Valinor."
She wrapped her arms around him, not even trying to stop her tears. "I love you, Da."
He kissed her forehead. "I love you with all my heart, my little Ella. I am so proud of the woman you have become. Continue down the path you're on and stay strong."
Her eyes slowly opened. She was still in her bed in Rivendell, the light of morning creeping across the floor. Reaching up she felt a few tears still on her cheeks. What her father told her sat heavily in her mind but she pushed it away. Those events seemed to be far in the future and apparently she was doing what was required of her. As to the dwarf king ... well, she would just have to see about that. She stretched and quickly rose to start her day. She had promised a certain dwarf prince a shooting competition.
Edited/Revised March 2016
