-9-

The last thing Ellana remembered was collapsing into a soft pile of snow, the wind whistling around her, the cold seeping through her clothing despite her best efforts to keep warm. Now as she slowly woke, feeling more rested than she had for quite some time, she no longer felt frozen and it was quiet, save for the snatches of words she caught from voices nearby.

"Right piss-pot that one is."

"What gave it away?"

"The way he looks at us. All judgy. And elfy. Good thing Quizzy's not like that."

By the time Ellana turned on her side, eyes cracking open, ready to ask how Sera had gotten there when she could barely prop herself up last Ellana saw her, Sera had disappeared. This left only Dorian standing by the tent opening. At Ellana's soft call, he turned to face her, relief on his face.

"Good to see you up. How are you feeling?"

She propped herself up, untangling herself from the numerous blankets that had been piled up around her. "Where are we?"

"Back at camp. Blackwall, Camlen, and I came back with you. We found you out in the snow after...well, after."

The memories slowly came back to her. The argument with Camlen; Blackwall and Dorian bickering and losing her temper at them; going out to Valeska's Watch in a blizzard, without telling anyone. Creators, what had she been thinking?

Except she knew she hadn't been thinking. She had been overcome with a desperate urge to find her sister's halla token, consuming her entire being with a fervor she hadn't felt since that terrible night searching for her sister.

For his part, Dorian looked quite contrite about his role in what happened. "I'm sorry, Ellana. We didn't intend to cause you more distress. I hope you know that."

She nodded. "I do. And I shouldn't have lost it like that. It just wasn't what I needed. I'm sorry you had go out and find me."

His face softened. "I wasn't about to leave my dearest friend out in the snow." The familiar teasing expression then appeared back on his face. "Not to mention that certainly would've made for an awkward homecoming back to Skyhold. I'm not entirely sure who'd want to kill us first. Leliana, Josephine, or Cullen?"

She laughed, appreciating him trying to lighten the mood. "Probably more likely Cassandra. She really wanted to come on this one."

"Maker knows why, nothing but snow and cold and red lyrium and more snow out here. Next time we go out on assignment, Ellie, might I suggest a middle ground between melting into a puddle and freezing our ass cheeks off?"

"I'll see what I can do." She then bit her lip, resolving to ask the question even though she suspected the answer, knowing it would likely dampen what better mood there was. "Is it too much to hope you found it?"

"I wish I could say we did, but..."

She sighed, feeling beaten down with an almost sad acceptance (instead of frantic as when she first discovered it missing) over what was looking to be its permanent loss, an echo of the range of emotion she'd gone through from the moment she saw Bri's body lying on that ground. "I was afraid you'd say that."

Dorian seemed a bit surprised. Understandable after how she had acted yesterday. "Some of our soldiers volunteered to be on the lookout for it, but the recent snowstorm..."

"I understand." Even though she wished she didn't. But she couldn't stay out there, searching the snowy paths of Emprise du Lion forever. She would have to settle for her soldiers just keeping an eye out while on duty. She was Inquisitor; that still had to come first, no matter how much yet another personal loss would hurt.

Once again, she must endure.

Dorian patted her on the shoulder. "Blackwall said to let him know when you were awake. Suppose I should go and tell him."

It occurred to her as Dorian left that she had no idea how long she had been out. The storm must have been over if they felt it safe enough to travel down to the main camp. She wondered if Camlen was still there, had bothered to stick around once they got back.

Dorian must not have had to go far, as it seemed Blackwall came in shortly after, a bowl of what she assumed was steaming soup or stew in his hands.

"Ana."

He stopped just short of her, his eyes not quite meeting hers, as if not knowing where he stood. She held her arms out, letting him know that things were well between them now. Setting the bowl down, he knelt in front of her, his arms coming around her at the same time as hers.

She buried her head into the crook of his neck. "Ir abelas, vhenan."

"You don't have to apologize. I shouldn't have started something with Dorian. You didn't need that."

"I didn't. But it was still no excuse for me to lose control like that." She laid her hand over his shoulder. "Did you carry me back, the entire way?"

He nodded. "It had to be me."

She kneaded his shoulder through the padding of his gambeson, brushing her lips against it when he winced ever so slightly at her touch. "Thank you. I'm just sorry you had to."

Blackwall planted a kiss on her brow. "Don't be."

He handed her the bowl, which her rumbling stomach appreciated. "How long was I out?"

"Found you passed out as it was getting dark. We had to wait out the storm til early morning at that Warden outpost we cleared out. Probably around noon now."

No wonder she woke up feeling so rested. She hadn't had such a deep sleep in ages. Just not how she would have preferred to get it.

The wisps of memories came back to her, the wind and cold no longer striking her, light above her and Blackwall's arms around her and his voice whispering to her. She remembered telling him something, but that was still fuzzy, not clear enough for her to remember.

"Did I say anything?" she asked, after tipping back a mouthful of soup. A bit bitter, for her tastes, but at least it was something warm. "While I was out of it?"

Blackwall looked reluctant to mention it, as if the knowledge would upset her, but he admitted at her additional insistence, "You said something about failing your sister. That you pushed us away like you did to her."

She cast her eyes down, suddenly finding the content of her meal more interesting. "Oh."

He reached for her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "You don't have to explain if you don't want to. If it hurts too much to talk about."

Ellana nodded, unable to do much else, thankful he understood. She knew it was still a struggle, to make herself believe that Bri's death had just been a terrible accident, bad luck of Bri being in the wrong place at the wrong time. But Ellana always came back to it, the thought that if she hadn't lost her temper, chased Bri away when she had actually shown a willingness to talk to Ellana, she wouldn't have been out in that storm. She wouldn't have crossed that makeshift bridge at the time it finally gave way from the force of the wind and rain. She wouldn't have been so upset to realize that crossing it would be a risk.

Ellana then returned his squeeze with one of her own, turning her attention to working on her meal. "Did Camlen leave yet?"

He shook his head. "He's still here. Said he'd stick around until you woke up."

Part of her was surprised that he had bothered. But the other was reassured at the gesture. He hadn't completely disregarded her.

"I need to talk to him."

Blackwall frowned. "Certain that's a good idea, my lady?"

"The sooner I do this, the sooner he can head back to Wycome." She sent him a reassuring look. "I'll be fine, Blackwall."

Creators help her, she wasn't going to let this parting devolve into another yelling match.

He got up from the ground with a grunt. "Long as you're sure. I'll go get him, then." He kissed her again, faint against her lips, before leaving her alone in the tent.

She sipped thoughtfully on the broth as she waited, wondering what to say to Camlen, how to take back any things she'd said in the heat of the moment, if he held any remorse for the words on his end.

Whether she was ready or not mattered little when he came through the tent, bow already strapped to his back, knives sheathed at his belt, and satchel strung across his hip. He had clearly been ready to go for awhile.

But the first thing that struck her was how strangely subdued he seemed. He should have been chomping at the bit to get the first word in. They both stared at each other, as if seeing who would be the one to make the first move.

"I'm not sure what to say," Ellana finally admitted.

"That's a first." Camlen sighed, kicking at a patch of dried-out grass. "Look, about yesterday. I didn't mean it. Not entirely."

"You said multiple things about me," she said, though without any type of accusatory tone. "About me being a fraud, for one. Do you really think that?" It was one of the things that stuck out the most about their fight, the thing that'd really struck a nerve.

"I've had to work hard to get to where I am. You've had a lot given to you," he said, avoiding answering the question directly.

"I didn't ask for any of it." Certainly not for her mam to die and Ellana deemed her successor, not for this Mark to be bestowed on her hand and become Herald and Inquisitor.

"You enjoy the power of it, though. The authority."

"What I enjoy is the ability to help people, not whatever authority being Inquisitor may give me. It honestly scares me how much my decisions can affect so many, that I have to make calls on things I'm barely qualified on." Such as the fate of the Wardens, the ruling of Orlais. Decisions made on orders and empires that she'd barely known anything about before the Conclave, that had been around for centuries.

"What about as First?"

"Maybe I did once," she admitted.

"Maybe?" he asked with a scoff.

"Fine," she said with an irritated frown. "I did once. I don't anymore." She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "But I didn't ask you here to get into another argument. I meant it when I said I'm tired of fighting with you, Camlen."

"It's what comes naturally to us, isn't it? Do you really think that'll change?"

"Only if we don't make that effort, since Bri's no longer..." She trailed off, knowing that even if Bri were there, it still might've not made a difference.

Camlen's face dropped, looking somber at the mention of Bri. "About her...what I was trying to say. It-It wasn't all your fault."

How generous of him not to lay all of the blame on her, she thought to say, but she held her tongue, letting him finish.

"It was that shem Cassius. She wouldn't have thought about leaving if he hadn't shown up."

She wondered how he could be so confident of that. Him, whose own father left the clan to go back to the city alienage where he came from, his mother following him and choosing to leave their son behind, to never be heard from again.

"You're certain of that?" she asked, probing, the question out of her mouth before she could stop it.

He eyed her suspiciously. "Why would I not be?"

Her gaze never faltered from him, firmly stating, "Because you wouldn't have distanced yourself from her as you did if you were. Because you knew her well enough to know she wouldn't have been so easily swayed unless she already had the idea to leave floating around in her head."

He crossed his arms, taking on a defensive posture. "And how do you figure that?"

"Because that's part of why I was upset with her, too." Creators, it was still difficult to think about, let alone say outloud.

"You think you know me so well?"

"Well, you did say I was overconfident. You're right; I am where it counts."

She half-expected him to lash out at her again; it's what he had done before. And she admittedly would have deserved it for being unable to help herself from needling him.

Then she noticed the way his shoulders began to subtly deflate, the harsh expression on his face diminishing ever slightly, his eyes slowly filling with melancholy and regret.

"She'd begun to talk about wanting something more," he finally admitted. "Wanting freedom from daily life of the clan, to live for herself. I told her she was being ridiculous. And after I accused her of being selfish, she stopped saying anything. I thought that was the end of it."

He paused. "I was angry. I wanted to hate her, for putting the clan in danger, for what happened to Master Sorvel. I didn't see what she did as any different from what my parents did. I tried so hard to…but then…"

"Then?" Ellana asked, guiding him when he seemed to trail off, as if unable to continue.

It took a moment before he responded again, a brief flash of pain appearing in his eyes. "Then I pulled her body out of that water. It made me realize I still loved her. That I'd always love her, no matter what. So yes, I blame the shem. I even blame you. But I also blame myself for not being what she needed when she needed it. As she'd been for me."

Ellana sat in shocked silence, such raw honesty and self-reflection from him a rarity in all the time they had known each other.

"I shouldn't have acted like you didn't care. I know how much you did. Still do." She thought back to his words at the house ruins. "You were hurting, just as much as I was. And I didn't even see it."

"Would you have wanted to?"

She avoided responding to that by taking another sip of soup, knowing what the answer would be. Camlen looked unsurprised by the lack of response.

He turned, facing away from her, towards the opening of the tent. She was about to ask if he saw something, when he said, "It didn't seem to matter as much, that I'd lost my best friend. But you...everyone wanted to make it up to you, take care of you. I understood why; you're her sister, you were torn up about it. But it didn't make it easier to accept. And if anything happens to the clan, you'll have that support again. I'll have no one."

She stared thoughtfully up at him, at learning these things she should have seen but chose to ignore. "My soldiers know what's at stake. I trust them to ensure nothing like that happens."

Camlen shifted his feet around, tapping at his belt, almost as if he was uncomfortable at having opened himself up to Ellana as much as he had. "So...what happens now?"

"You can go back to Wycome. I won't try to convince you to stay and keep looking for the token. I realize your place is back with the clan. As it should be."

He studied her carefully. "And you? What is your place?"

She tapped the edge of the bowl before finally setting it aside. That certainly was the question, wasn't it? Had been since she'd accepted the role of Inquisitor and begun a relationship with Blackwall. Prior to the Conclave, if anyone had asked her, she would replied without hesitation that it was with the clan. Life with them was all she'd known, all she ever thought she needed. Even up to the closing of the Breach and the destruction of Haven, she had imagined herself returning to the clan once things had settled down and a means was discovered for removing the Mark from her hand, despite her growing feelings for Blackwall, despite knowing that this experience had forever changed her.

Being Inquisitor now meant she was entirely committed to the organization she led. She couldn't abandon it while it was still active. And Blackwall…she couldn't leave him either. Keeper Deshanna would expect her to commit entirely to the clan if she returned. And that just wasn't possible anymore. Whatever feelings of missing home had been awoken inside her at seeing Camlen again, whatever fondness and familial feelings she still carried for members of the clan, things had changed too much to go back to the way they were.

"For the moment, it's with the Inquisition," she finally answered.

"And your shem?"

"You can call him by his name," she stated firmly at his disapproving tone. "And, yes, it is with Blackwall."

She thought he might start up another argument about it, accuse her of abandoning the clan, which would then lead them into an argument about why he could've loved Bri despite her seeing herself outside of the clan, yet not accepting Ellana doing the same. But all he said, with matter-of-factness, was, "The Keeper might not approve of this. She wasn't happy when she found out. A lot of us weren't."

Just as she feared. She knew members of the clan who had begrudged Bri before may do so when they heard about her relationship with Blackwall, think her selfish for it. But the Keeper...even though Ellana predicted what she might say, Ellana still foolishly hoped she'd be more approving. She hated the thought of the Keeper being displeased with her, the woman who had become like a mam to her. Ellana did not think her so unreasonable she would present her with an ultimatum of choosing a relationship with the clan or Blackwall once her time as Inquisitor had run its course. The worst she feared would happen is the Keeper would be unhappy that she'd no longer have a First (with no Second to call on), and not approve of it. Didn't mean that wouldn't hurt, though.

But she would just have to make clear to the Keeper, to everyone, that her feelings for Blackwall ran too deep now. To the point she was determined to aid and work in finding a cure for the Calling. And if that day should still come, she would only then accept his loss, and decide whether she would be able to resume her place with the clan.

But until then, she would not let him go. For anything.

"And what will you say, Camlen?"

He didn't quite look her in the eye as he ground out, reluctantly, "I'll figure something out."

It was honestly the best she could hope from him. She was under no illusions that one conversation would be enough to sway his opinion of her. But if he didn't speak negatively about their relationship to the Keeper, she would take this small victory. "Ma serannas."

Slight resentment appeared in his eyes, as if blaming her for placing him in this position. "Just so we're clear. I'm not doing it for you, Ellana. Any of this."

"I know." The only reason why he would. There was nothing more she could ask of him. "Give my love to Marelwyn. And Neras and the children. To everyone." She then remembered her promise of a note. "Can you wait another few moments while I write to Athros and Noranni?"

"Not too long. I need to be on my way." He turned, half-way out the tent, when he spun back around to face her. "I regret we couldn't find it."

She picked up the slightest bit of remorse in his voice, and it heartened her to know that he did actually feel the token's loss as she did. "Me too."

Once he left, she scrambled around for some parchment and quill. In her search, she came upon the rolled up parchment containing the confession Dorian had given her, reminding her she'd have to take care of that later, too.

Using the back of Blackwall's shield as a firm surface to write on, it didn't take long to write the note, the words coming more easily than she thought. She asked the twins how they were doing, whether they were looking forward to their new brother or sister, a bit of the exciting things she had been up. Let them know she hadn't forgotten about them, apologizing for not writing more, and reassuring them she'd continue to do her best to protect them. As she stuffed the parchment into the envelope, a thought came to her. Grabbing for another piece, she quickly jotted down another note.

Two envelopes in hand now, she put her cloak back on and stepped out of the tent. Cold, but not nearly as frigid as the day before, noting the piles of snow and newly paved paths from the fresh snowfall. She spotted Camlen grabbing for the reins of the Inquisition horse he was being lended.

"I have the note," she said, handing the envelopes to him.

"What's this?" he asked, thumbing the second.

"In case you can't think of anything to say to the Keeper." Nothing long, just explaining the rumors were true about her and Blackwall. That she was sorry she didn't tell her sooner, that she would tell her more after the situation in Wycome died down, answer her questions, even welcome a visit to Skyhold if the Keeper so wished.

He placed the envelopes in his satchel. Then they stared at each other, back in that uncertain silence as when he had entered the tent.

"I suppose this is it."

"Suppose so," he said.

She wondered how hard he'd push himself to get back, what he'd find when he did. For all their sakes, she hoped the Free Marcher armies hadn't advanced on Wycome yet.

"If anything should happen," she said with an air of tentativeness, "there's a place for you. At Skyhold."

If there was one thing she had learned, it was that no one should have to face such hardship alone. And regardless of their tumultuous relationship over the years, she would not subject him to that if she had a way to stop it. Bri wouldn't have wanted that.

He looked at her with surprise, then gave her a nod of acknowledgment, which was more than she thought he'd give at the idea. "Try not to get yourself killed."

"I'll do my best." Not wanting to take up any more of his time, she patted the horse and said, "Dareth shiral, Camlen."

He replied with a parting nod. "Dareth shiral."

She watched as Camlen lead the horse up the stone steps, then hoisted himself onto the saddle. She continued to stare in that direction even when he disappeared from view, until Sera appeared beside her, head wrap no longer around her.

"That piss-pot leave?"

"If you mean Camlen, then yes. He just did."

"Good riddance, I say. Heard he caused more problems than solved them. So, had no luck out there, finding your sister's token-thingy?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"I could still look for it for you. Need a break from being stuffed up in a tent, anyhow."

Ellana couldn't help the flare of hope rising within her at Sera's offer, even though she knew she shouldn't. Nor did she want to be responsible for causing a set-back in Sera's recovery. "You're sure you'd be up for it? How's your head feeling?"

"Ah, I'm fine," she said, waving it off. "Nothing's spinning anymore."

"Just make sure to still take it easy. And maybe bring someone along with you, just in case."

"You worry too much, you know that, right, Ellana?"

Something Bri would have said. Did say. On multiple occasions. And the thought pushed against the calm stoicism that had come over her, threatening to bring it and her emotions down with her again, that Bri and now most likely her token were lost to her forever.

It wasn't working. Shoving it all down, refusing to tell anyone else or talk about it. She couldn't lose control like that again. But she wasn't ready to tell everyone, for everyone in her inner circle to know and ask questions about it, want to help her through it as she did with their problems.

Her gaze wandered until it landed on Blackwall, sitting by the fire and mindlessly whittling away on a block of wood. The man rarely seemed idle or content with being still, always having to do something.

If she was to tell anyone, she knew he had to be first. He was the one she trusted the most, given her heart to. And she had wanted to tell him. She had wanted him to know why she avoided talking about Bri's death. To know why she still carried the guilt around with her like a weight permanently chained to her body. To know that a part of her would always believe she was responsible for what happened, regardless of what anyone said. She just could never bring herself to do it before.

Perhaps it was finally time.

There had always been that barrier between them, not knowing about the other's past. She had always been accepting of it, even if she was entirely baffled by what could have happened that was so terrible he refused to talk about it, even if she sometimes wondered why he couldn't open up to her when he clearly trusted her with his heart. But she had avoided pushing because of what she had been holding back.

She didn't expect him to reveal all right away. But through her taking the first step, showing that she trusted him to know everything about her past, including the worst of what it had to offer, it could lead him to doing the same. And they could help each other finally heal those old wounds. Together.

Decision made, Ellana strode purposefully over to him. She took a steadying breath, coming up to him with a gentle hand on his shoulder. He looked up at her, asking her what she needed, if something was the matter, likely noticing the resolved look on her face.

"There's something I need to tell you."

She had shut herself away from the clan for three days now. Except for the Keeper, who had only been successful in barely getting her to eat, barely getting her to drink, barely getting her to sleep. All Ellana could do was replay that whole conversation with Bri in her head. The look on Bri's face when Ellana told her to go. She couldn't get the words out of her head. She had made her sister feel unwanted. She had made her sister feel unloved, when all she had needed was a shoulder to cry on. Her older sister's shoulder, who should have been there to comfort and support her.

Why did she have to get so angry? Why had she let her temper get the better of her, especially with Bri, especially after what had happened? Why hadn't she just listened to what Bri had wanted to say instead of jumping all over her like that?

Now Bri was dead. She had failed Bri. She had failed Mam and Father.

The Keeper had ruled what happened to Bri an accident. It made her ill, the thought of Bri's final moments. How afraid she must have been as she fell, how she had been all alone.

And it was all her fault.

"Ellana. Da'len, you need to eat something."

She did not turn at the Keeper's voice to face her. She couldn't.

Crunching footsteps approached her, hearing the rustle of fabric against the ground. "Shutting yourself away will not bring her back, da'len."

Maybe. But the Keeper hadn't given Ellana a better reason not to. How could she face those who had shunned Bri and move on like nothing had happened, as the Keeper expected her to? But how could anyone of her clan fathom looking up to her as their First now, knowing that she caused Bri's death?

She caught rustling beside her, as the Keeper moved to crouch on the ground. "You cannot blame yourself for what befell Brianya."

"She wouldn't have been there if it wasn't for me," she said, voice small and hoarse after three days of little use, of crying.

"You cannot know that for sure."

"I told her to leave. That if she was so desperate to get out that she could just go. And she did."

And she would never forgive herself for it.

"I know it's hard, da'len. But you have to find a way to continue on."

That finally had her looking at the Keeper through narrowed eyes, that she would dare to act like it was so simple. How could she just simply move forward from something like this, live the rest of her life knowing that her sister didn't have to die?

"What would you know about it? You never had a sister; you don't know what it's like!"

She was almost glad for it, the anger, the raging fire suddenly flaring inside her. That meant feeling something other than absolute hollowness. But hearing herself lash out the Keeper only made her think about yelling at Bri. It brought angry tears to her eyes, the dam starting to crack.

"Ir abelas, Keeper...ir abelas," she said, her voice choking on the apology.

She might have been successful, at keeping the tears from falling. If the Keeper hadn't put a gentle arm around her shoulders, clasped her close in a way so similar to how her mam had done as a child. Ellana buried her face into the Keeper's shoulder, the comforting earth and herbal smells hitting her, the sobs building in her throat.

"It's my fault...it's my fault..."

"No. It was an accident, da'len. Nothing more." She rocked her. "A tragic accident."

Ellana gave into it, the Keeper's presence and hold on her the release she needed. And the Keeper let her get it all out, didn't say anything in an attempt to make things better. Just rubbing her arm up and down, rocking her. Eventually, the sobs died down to sniffling and whimpers until she was finally able to calm herself and lifted her face off the Keeper's shoulder, her eyes sore and red from the effort of crying again.

"Better?" the Keeper asked, wiping away a stray tear from her cheek.

Ellana nodded. She wasn't, really. But the release was better than feeling so hollow.

The Keeper then wrapped her other arm around Ellana, lifting her up with her as the Keeper stood. "Come. Let's get you supper."

Ellana vigorously shook her head. "I'm not ready to face them. I can't."

The Keeper sighed, her hands journeying to her shoulders. "Da'len, there's never going to be an easy time." She tipped Ellana's head back towards her when she tried to look away. "I won't make you take up your duties just yet. Nor will I make you eat with everyone. Marelwyn has already agreed that you could eat with her until you're ready. I would never stop you from grieving. But you have to try and get back to a more normal routine."

"I...I don't know that I can."

"No one ever said coping with loss such as this would be easy. But all you can do is try. Can you try for me, da'len?"

She knew the Keeper was just looking out for her, doing her best towards her to make her feel better. She should feel grateful; she was. But she still didn't know how to stop herself from feeling like her entire world had been upended, that she now struggled to comprehend a world without Bri in it. She honestly didn't know how she would ever recover from this.

Ellana's gaze fell away from the Keeper's, unable to give her answer. Finally the Keeper took pity on her, letting her head go with a sigh. "Come, then. Marelwyn is waiting for you."

Ellana let herself be lead out of the tent by the Keeper. She felt a tad unsteady on her feet after three days of little use, but trusted the Keeper to hold onto her if she buckled. The light was starting to dim with the sun plateauing over the forest ridge, gentle on her eyes which had grown accustomed to the muted light of the tent. As the Keeper said, Marelwyn was sitting beside the tent she shared with Neras, a plate of what appeared to be deer and carrots in her lap.

She hopped up upon seeing Ellana, immediately encasing her in a hug. "Ellana...how are you doing today?"

"A bit better," the Keeper thankfully answered for her. "I have to check and make sure things are progressing for the service tomorrow." The Keeper squeezed her shoulder. "Make sure you eat slowly, da'len. You've hardly eaten the past, few days."

Ellana was about to ask what service the Keeper was talking about, but it hit her as she walked away and Marelwyn offered up her place to sit that it had to be Bri's service. The Keeper had mentioned it to her when she had come to check on her earlier in the day.

The tremors rippled through her face, making great effort to prevent the lump from growing in her throat, a heavy feeling settling in the pit of her stomach, eyes stinging with a seemingly endless flow of tears. A few fell before she could recover herself, shielding her face from Marelwyn's view.

"Abelas..." She roughly ran a hand across her face. "I'm sure this is the last thing you want to be doing right now, looking after me."

Marelwyn laid her hand over Ellana's. "You and Bri helped me so much when my mam died. I want to do the same for you." She then held out the plate, with some hesitation. "Do you think you can...or do you need more time?"

More time. Wasn't everything about more time? More time to take before she ate. More time to take and grieve Bri's loss. More time she wished she had with her sister. More time she wished she had spent not lecturing her or making her feel taken for granted, but showing her how much Ellana loved her.

But that time was gone, she thought. As the Keeper said, there was never going to be an easy one. She had to start somewhere, right?

Ellana took the plate from Marelwyn's outstretched hand.