Chapter Nine: Daylight

Susie grasped me to her and I put my arms gently around her in return. Now was not the time to be concerned about how I might feel to this unknowing human.

"Call Charlie, call your cousin; tell them what's happened."

I didn't need to, they already knew; but I must be seen to make the calls, because Charlie couldn't call Susie and Brian until he 'officially' knew. I knew Heather would call, she would know what to say even if the rest of us were struggling with getting verbs, adjectives and prepositions in the right order right now. Susie's attempts at coherent speech were still only achieving mixed results and I hadn't established if I could get anything out without crying.

Momma had left before it got light; mostly to repair the hole in the roof that she'd made to get in. She'd tried every window, but found all of them hermetically sealed shut and couldn't attract my attention to open one for her. In the end, frantic to get to me, she'd pulled off some tiles and punched a hole in the roof liner to get through.

This much I knew; Dad was in Carlisle with Jane. Will, Ben, Jake and Mom were at Aysgarth house. Jake and Mom had been to what was left of Mary's house. It was in charred ruins and screened off. The investigation teams had been in, Jess and Mary's bodies removed and things taken in evidence. Two businesses that were next to Mary's house had been demolished as they were structurally unsafe after the blast. Dad reported no change in Dan's condition but that there had been the small achievement of getting Jane in to see her husband. The transfused blood had diluted his normal scent to her and she'd been able to touch him. It was a tiny sliver of good in an otherwise cracked mirror of misery.

It was nearly lunchtime in the UK, which meant that for Grampa it would be the middle of the night and not a good time to call. But it was breakfast time on the East Coast of America; I could call my 'cousin'.

Momma had located my phone and left it on charge for me. I hadn't the presence of mind to do even that. I pulled it out of my pocket, scrolled through my contacts and hit Dad's number. I was in the kitchen, in front of Susie, I had to remember to say 'Hi Edward' and not do what I wanted to do, which was to wail down the phone to my Daddy and get him to make it all better.

It connected and Dad's soft voice came down the line. My bottom lip immediately started to wobble.

"Hi, Edward? It's Ness." I bit back tears, this wasn't pretending, this was so raw. Actually verbalising what had happened felt too much. But Dad was calm and reassuring, he told me exactly what to say. We talked for a while, him feeding me lines while he told me the latest news about Dan. He even asked me to hand the phone over to Susie then he could pass on his condolences personally. When she handed me the phone back his voice sounded off.

"Losing a child is something no parent should have to go through." He said.

"No." I answered, really not sure of what to say. I felt trapped and desperately wished his mindreading ability would work through cell phones. He was too far away from me and I wanted to say things I couldn't say to my 'cousin'. "Can I call you again later?" I suddenly blurted out. He picked up the anguished tone of my voice.

"Of course. Nessie? If it's too much we'll find some way to get you out. Don't forget that you can leave the house for a walk. Call Jake or Mom, they can meet you somewhere. The fells above Easedale are beautiful. But call me again later when you can and we'll talk. I love you Ness."

"You too." I replied, trying and only just managing to keep it casual. "I'll speak to you later."

I finished up the conversation and hung up. I'd feel much happier if he were here, in range of my head; but Jane didn't want to be anywhere other than with Dan and in her condition she needed someone with her. Dad was the one best placed to help Jane. Meanwhile, Jake and Mom were at the house, doing what they could to help Will and Ben.

But Dad had a point; I could get out of the house for some fresh air and for a walk. I didn't particularly want to go up into the hills, but I did feel that it was important to go and see the ruined house for myself. I texted Jake to tell him what I was doing and just as Tom's parents arrived, I began walking into town.

The road was strewn with broken branches. Last night's storm had dislodged more than just a few slates off the roof of the Taylor's rented house. The Taylor's roof had been fixed, but as I looked around at other houses, many were missing more than a few slates. Everything was still wet and the sky had a flat greyness to it, indicating more rain to come.

Easedale Road was quiet, very quiet. There seemed to be an absence of animal and bird life and my footsteps were the only sound. As I came around the final corner, I saw Jake come out of the drive of Aysgarth House and walk off in the direction of Mary's house. I threaded my way through the streets, walking about twenty feet behind him until I reached the place where the little row of bungalows had been.

There was a large crowd of people here. Metal fencing had been erected around the site and behind the railings ran thick blue plastic, screening the site from view. You couldn't see much of the plastic, as threaded through the metal lattice were bouquet upon bouquet of flowers. People had come to pay their respects and had left tangible evidence of having been here. When I arrived, Jake was already at the fence reading some of the cards. A photograph of Jess, taken a few years ago startled me, but drew me in. I looked at it, almost willing for her to speak to me, to come to life, laugh and tell me that this was just some terrible dream. The picture was of Jess in her school uniform. She'd probably be about fifteen and other than a degree of maturity in her face, she had changed little in the last three years. She had the same straight blonde hair, the same piercing blue eyes and the same smile that had drawn him in and melted Will's none-existent heart. The flowers had been there all night and had been battered by the storm, but the person had thoughtfully laminated the picture and the message they had written alongside it.

"We are heartbroken! Rest in peace dearest Jess.

Love from Margaret, Tony and Joanna Clark."

I moved to another one on a freshly placed bouquet.

"I remember you as the seven year old who made enormous blue butterflies." Marion Green.

There were card after card of remembrances of Jess; people noting what they loved about her, what they remembered about her and how they could not believe what had happened. Among the many for Jess there were bouquets for Mary too. I memorised each card, in time perhaps I could share them with Will or with Ben, in the hope that it would be a comfort to know how much Jess was loved by all those who'd known her.

Jake and I converged and as we reached each other, my hand found his and we laced our fingers tightly together. I needed for him to hold me but that wasn't going to be possible here. So we did what we could, standing close together, hidden within this crowd of people.

"Hi Ness."

My head turned to the left, it was Tom. Jake and I loosened hands immediately and I felt him step gently away. Extending for nearly six inches along his right jaw, Tom had a cut that had been stuck together with wound closure tape.

"Hi. How's your face?"

"Sore, but OK. How're doing?"

I shrugged. "Not good."

"How are Susie and Brian this morning?"

"Susie's not great, I haven't seen Brian yet. Your parents had just arrived when I left."

"I'm going up there shortly. They're going to take me across to see Dan."

I smiled and nodded. Susie hadn't mentioned anything about me seeing Dan. But then again, she'd tried to put the cereal boxes in the fridge this morning, so she wasn't exactly thinking clearly right now.

"You got to the hospital OK, that night?" Tom gave me a look that left me in no doubt that he was curious about how I'd managed that.

I nodded.

"You met that guy who took you, in the pub?"

Oh crap. I nodded again.

"Susie was asking my Mum how you got over there. I thought you were going out with Dan? And so does his Mum. It was a bit odd how you disappeared that night."

Now I really did want my Dad! I didn't give any kind of reply, verbal or otherwise but Tom did not give up. He nodded towards Jake who was behind me somewhere.

"That's him isn't it? He's very distinctive. It's not often you see a bloke that tall and we don't get many Native Americans around here. Does Dan know about him?" Tom was accusatory now.

I fixed him with a steady, measured gaze. A degree of honesty was now necessary.

"Yes."

Tom held up his hands. "I know it's none of my business, but why would Dan pretend to go out with you if you've already got a bloke? Unless… You're not supposed to be with him, or he's not supposed to be here?" My face was a mask of neutrality. I gave nothing away.

"Tommy! Oh your gorgeous face!" Salvation had arrived in the unlikely form of Gem. As Gem closed in to cup Tom's face in her hands, I stepped to the side to allow myself to see Jake. He had moved off down the line of people and was continuing to read the cards. Did I need to warn him about Tom?

Gem fawned over Tom before she turned to me. Behind her were four other members of the Grasmere Coven.

"I was about to go up to the house. Susie said I can put together Jess's funeral service. Do you want to help out?" I nodded, although I knew this would be Gem's show and I'd get very little input into it. What could I do other than perhaps mention the band? I could hardly speak on behalf of her vampire mate, son and the rest of the family she'd become part of.

The group dispersed. Gem, Tom and I walked away from the floral memorial to Jess and Mary. I looked over to Jake but he wasn't looking my way. When I turned back though, Tom was and he walked with me back up the road to the house, making anodyne conversation. He knew I had secrets. If Dan were here he'd have batted Tom's concerns away, but he wasn't and I was isolated from those who could help me explain. What had seemed like such a simple thing, to grab some time with Jake, had left my secret life badly exposed when things had gone wrong.

When we reached the house, a couple more people had arrived and Brian was back; looking even more ashen faced than it was possible for a human to do. Monica was there, as was a casually dressed man who introduced himself as Tim, the local Member of Parliament.

"I'd known Mary quite well for several years." He said, making himself useful and helping me in the kitchen to fix a round of coffee and tea for everyone. "I didn't know Jess at all, but Mary was active on several local committees and always got involved with things. I'm sorry for what happened. It's not exactly a great introduction to Britain for you is it?"

I shook my head. He seemed nice, but I didn't quite trust myself not to burst into tears right now. I wanted Jake, I wanted to talk about the whole mess we'd put ourselves in. I wanted Dan to tell Tom to back off. I wanted Jess to come through the door and yell 'surprise!' I wanted Mom, I wanted Dad, I wanted Grampa or Emmett and his really bad jokes; I wanted anybody who knew me for who I really was. The human world was too painful. In my world, people didn't suffer massive blood loss; they didn't die because they got caught in explosions. The worst that happened was that their clothes got a bit messed up. Even if bits of us got pulled off, we could be easily stuck back together again with no ill effects. How did humans cope with this endless death and suffering?

We took the drinks through. I discovered where Brian had been this morning and why he was looking even worse. He'd been to identify Mary and Jess's bodies and had returned with their valuables in small bags. There, on the coffee table was Jess's pink sapphire necklace, Will's first gift to her last Valentine's Day. It was blackened, but intact. Along with it were her watch, her phone and two rings. One was Will's father's signet ring that he'd had resized for her and the other was the ring that he'd given her for Christmas. It was a matching ring to her necklace - two diamonds between three small pink sapphires. It was this ring that Susie now picked up and inspected.

"This is Jess's? I don't remember this? When did she get it?"

Brian shook his head. "I don't know."

"Ness?" Susie handed the ring to me. "Do you know where she got this ring from?" I took it from Susie and looked at it for a moment before coming up with the answer we had decided on.

"She got in Seattle when we went shopping the other weekend."

"Oh, she did mention she'd got something to match." I handed the ring back to Susie. "It's lovely, she has quite the eye. It goes with the necklace so well." Susie suddenly dropped the ring and her shoulders shook violently as she was overcome with grief. Her friend Lesley wrapped her arms around her and Susie burrowed into her friend's cardigan. Her muffled voice wailed. "I keep talking about her like she's still here!"

There was a knock at the door and David Barrington went to open it. It was a representative of the Fire Service and Brian, along with Tim, went through to the dining room. I could hear it said that their investigations had found that the explosion had been caused by a faulty gas cooker. It seemed that Jess must have been trying to light it because she was right by it when the explosion happened. It was all very clear cut as far as the Fire Service were concerned, so it was likely that the Coroner would release their bodies tomorrow and the funeral could happen any time after that.

I excused myself from the living room and drifted back up to what was now my room. I glared at the empty bed as if it offended me and then teared up again when I noticed Jess's things scattered around it. Although I wasn't worried about Jess's phone being in the hands of her family, I knew there wouldn't be anything incriminating on there, a thought struck me and a wave of something, perhaps it was nausea suddenly washed over me. The phone message I'd left on the way to the hospital had not been answered, it was still on Jess's phone! I'd have to try and get to it and delete it. I needed Dad's help, I had left two huge clues to our world and I needed him to help me take care of them. I pulled out my phone, found his number and called him. He answered immediately, but from downstairs, Susie called my name. I only had time to tell him quickly what was up.

I came back downstairs again and with Brian, Monica, Tim and the man from the Fire Service now in the living room; Susie, Gem and I went through to the dining room to start to put together Jess and Mary's funeral service.

A less fun activity I couldn't possibly have imagined and it wasn't because Susie spent most of the afternoon in tears. Gem was in sole charge of anything to do with Jess. She had the vision of what she wanted it to look like and Susie, being in no state to argue, let her get on with it. In the end, Gem ignored the last year of Jess's life. This was Gem's service and this was Gem's loss. I was seemingly an irrelevance and didn't know anything about Jess whatsoever. I kept quiet. I wanted the whole thing to be over then I could go home to Forks.

One of the benefits of your Dad being the local Vicar was that anything you wanted you pretty much got. Gem made calls, her Dad made calls and the funeral was arranged for four o'clock the next day. The cremation would be first, followed by what Gem was calling a service of celebration. It felt like anything but.

It wasn't until much later and almost dark that I managed to get out of the house again and down to Aysgarth House. Dan was now awake and Susie and Brian had rushed off to Carlisle to see him and deliver the worst news of all.

Mom came out of the kitchen to greet me and my heart nearly broke. Ben was perched on her hip and nestled against her. His eyes were red and little sobs periodically escaped him. She stroked his hair. I went to her, kissed her and kissed Ben on his forehead, rubbing his back. He put his arms out to me and I took him from Mom, balancing him on my own hip and letting him settle against my neck. I placed my hand on his back and held him to me.

"Where's Will?" I asked gently.

"He's gone to look at the cards. Jake's gone with him." I was pleased that he'd gone.

"How is he?"

"Utterly devastated." Mom looked worried. Not just sad, but worried.

"What is it?"

She shook her head and looked at Ben. Not something she wanted to discuss in front of him, clearly. I held him tighter and felt him twitch periodically with sobs.

"Any word from Dad?"

"Yes, he called earlier, they'll be back tomorrow. They haven't managed to get in to see Dan but your Dad's reassured that his head's mostly ok, if a bit confused at what's happened." A bit of confusion was understandable. I was very glad I wasn't Dad. I didn't want to know what would be going on in Dan's head when his parents told him the news about Jess.

Mom took Ben off upstairs when he fell asleep and the two of us sat on the sofa together for a while. Mom told me she was concerned that Will didn't want to be around, now Jess wasn't. Ben needed his father more than anything and the last thing she wanted was him being orphaned because Will could not face life without Jess.

That brought on more crying and exhausted from emotion I drifted off to sleep on Mom. I woke though when I heard the door. Into the living room came Jake followed by Will. A more devastated man you could not want to see. I did not know what to say, Will did not know what to say and so nothing was said.

Even being happy with Jake felt wrong right now and I couldn't respond when he kissed me. Jake understood and we just sat together for a while before he came back with me and I let myself into the dark, cold and empty house of my life without Jess.