This took me so long to write. I had extreme writer's block. And I suddenly have a social life (I have no idea how this happened), so that kind of got in the way of writing. In any case, I'll try to write more this week and post before Monday. It's Spring Break, so I'll have a lot of time. As long as I'm able to ignore my recent obsession with Death Note and Fullmetal Alchemist, I'm sure I'll be able to do it!
Anyway, I tried to show a bit more of Rin's crazy personality because I didn't do such a great job earlier. And Miku's just emotional throughout the whole thing (like she hasn't been already.)
Thanks to everyone who had reviewed, followed and/or favorited (that isn't a word...) I'm really grateful!
/
Miku couldn't control the quiver in her gaze or her voice as she repeated that single word, this time with slightly more certainty.
"M-mom," she stated, blinking hesitantly at the woman who sat at the kitchen table.
"You've said that already, Miku." Her mother's face was bland as always, making Miku unsure as to whether she cared for the conversation at all. Probably not. The woman didn't come here to make idle chit-chat with her daughter. A daughter she didn't get along with very well.
"What are you doing here?" Miku asked, unable to hide her confusion and even the slight panic that was becoming more evident upon her doll-like face.
"This is my house, too," the woman replied in a tone you could almost describe as cold.
"I know." Miku felt her voice was far too quiet to be heard. And when no response came from her mother, she was convinced she hadn't been heard. But moments later, her mother spoke up.
"Really, Miku. It isn't that difficult to make yourself heard." It didn't sound like a rebuke. It just was, plain and simple. A fact Miku had been told many times, mainly by the woman who had just said it.
Miku didn't know how to reply. She lowered her eyes to the ground, scuffing a foot against the floor. She felt ashamed. Under the disinterested eye of her mother, she always felt ashamed, as if she had completely let her down. Miku's very existence wasn't worth discussing around this woman, and when any conversation relating to Miku arose, her mother made no attempt to cover up how she felt about the topic. It was a waste of her valuable time.
And Miku knew it. It hurt her a lot to know her own mother didn't care about her. It wasn't even hate; the feelings her mother had for her didn't exist. You can't hate something that doesn't matter. And Miku didn't matter.
"Yes, mother," Miku replied, biting her lip to keep from quivering. Her mother. The one person in the world she was terrified of. Normally, she'd run to her room and call up Piko, but he was no doubt busy with Rin. Her chin quaked and tears pricked her lashes. No. She would not cry. She would not show weakness to this woman who referred to herself as her mother. Miku would rather die. She certainly felt like she would, the weight of her emotions beginning to pile so high her knees quaked.
"Good. Now, I'm sure you have something to busy yourself with. I don't have time for your right now," her mother's eyes returned to her computer screen. Miku felt her heart deflate and fall into the bottom of her ribcage. As quickly as she could, she turned and left the kitchen, her feet hitting the floor almost painfully in her haste to leave.
The sight of her bed was welcome. But she couldn't quite make it to the comfort of her pillows and blankets before she broke down, sobs wrenching through her delicate frame. She was shaking so badly it physically hurt. It hurt to do anything, especially breath. Everything hurt.
Weakly, she crawled to her bed, unable to hoist herself on it. She settled for the next best thing, dragging her quilt away from her mattress and curling beneath it. Her own breath was making her too hot and uncomfortable, the scent blasting back in her face as it hit the quilt. But Miku found herself curling as tightly as she could in an attempt to block everything out. She wanted it all gone, all the pain and misery she held, every last tear she had ever cried for herself or for anyone else. She felt pathetic beyond human possibility. Her self-pity was only overshadowed by her intense hatred that made her feel all the worse.
It's always your fault, she told herself unwillingly, her own thoughts echoing like the last remaining visages of dying sunlight, I'm sure that if you didn't exist, everyone would be so much happier.
And it was true. Without her, Mikuo would never have anyone to feed or worry about. Without her, Piko would be free to love Rin without leaving her behind. Kaito would have never made the mistake of dating her, only to beak it off in the end. And that thing, that accident would have never happened. Oh, above all else, that accident would be the one thing to forever plague her mind. But she knew that event had never been an accident.
Miku was left alone in her room for the remainder of the night. Mikuo was held back by his mother, who felt her need to discuss his life decisions with her much-loved, perfect son outweighed the psychological health of her daughter. No one came.
Miku was completely alone.
/
In the morning, Miku managed to drag her exhausted body out of her bed. Sometime during the night between restless fits of sleep, the pig-tailed girl had pulled herself into the warmth of her sheets. Her face felt heavy and swollen now, heat radiating from her eyes. It was hard to see through her eyelids, which were almost glued shut. Her head ached, a dull pain unlike any other vibrating within her skull.
The last thing she wanted to do was go to school. So she didn't.
Miku had never skipped a day of school in her life. When she was sick, which was a rare occurrence that resulted in very high fevers and delirium, Mikuo called in for her. Good girls didn't skip school, and Miku was trying to be a good girl.
Miku wasn't a good girl.
After positively drowning herself in an attempt to clean her face, Miku attempted to make herself presentable. School had begun no more than ten minutes ago, but Miku had no wish to run into her mother, who was definitely still home. Her mother, who rarely took days off of work, always returned to the Hatsune household the night before one of her relaxation days. If Miku didn't want a scolding, she would have to get out of that house. Quickly.
Miku pulled on a pair of worn jeans and a t-shirt that had seen better days. Both were what Mikuo dubbed her "lazy clothes." She rarely wore them in public, but quite frankly she didn't care. Comfort was best when one was throwing a pity-party for oneself.
Miku had no idea where she might go as she layered on her scarf, a sweater, gloves, and a bulky winter coat, but when she managed to slip downstairs without getting caught by her mother, she let out a deep breath. A small bit of the weight on her chest was lifted at the thought of escaping that house.
Miku had never been the type for a solid plan, so of course she ended up wandering aimlessly. The cold air stung her warm face, still pained from a night of crying. She would never let herself live that down, but it released a bit of weight from her chest. It had been a long time since she had broken down like that. "Overemotional" was not a word Miku wanted associated with her, by others or by herself.
A sigh couldn't be held back as her feet froze to the ground. She glanced around curiously, wondering where she should go. Her eyes were dulled, not opened nearly as widely as normal. Her whole body felt sore and tired, her mind struggling to keep up with her feet as her set pace was taken up once again. It was too cold to stand lost in thought. Her hands were tucked deeply in her pockets, next to her phone and keys. When had she grabbed those? It was hard to picture the exact moment, so Miku refrained from trying.
It didn't take long for her attention to be caught, even in her current state of mind. Then again, seeing yourself from the side might do that to a person.
She did a double take, her eyes glancing to the magazine stand she had passed a few steps back. The main picture, placed in full color across the cover, displayed a familiar teal haired girl. Her face was barely visible, turned away from the camera, slightly blurry, which left her to think the camera that had taken the picture was very low-quality. Beside her, Kagamine Len walked, his faced turned towards her and the camera. It had caught an interesting look on his face: a grin, eyes almost catlike. It was the look he had when he teased Miku.
A growled escaped between her lips, and she immediately went up to the magazine stand. Luckily enough for her, the price seemed to be "free." In any case, she didn't see the price, so no one could accuse her of stealing.
Miku set her jaw as her eyes scanned the magazine she had picked up. Ignoring the other celebrity gossip, she read the caption below the picture of her and Len. It made her sick.
'Idol Kagamine Len Spotted with a Strange Girl: What could their relationship be? Who is this new face? Read about it on page 56', Miku read, her thoughts instantly souring. What the hell is this nonsense?
In an attempt to calm her shaking hands, Miku took a deep breath. It didn't do much, but she managed to find page 59 without passing out or screaming. Her green eyes narrowed more and more in rage as they skimmed down the page.
The idol boy Kagamine Len is famous for one particular bit of his career; he's never dated a single girl. In his course as an idol, his fans have watched him closely, waiting for the day he'd end up with one of the female idols. Perhaps it would be the gorgeous and mature Sakine, only a few years his senior. Or perhaps a certain pigtailed metal head would catch his eye? Both Hagane Miku and Sakine have been known for their friendship with Kagamine Len. But no. He has surprised us once again, as he seems to have a talent for.
Fans of his managed to catch these pictures of him and this strange girl who has never been seen in his company before. This girl, who, to this reporters shock, greatly resembles Hagane herself, seems to have known Kagamine Len long enough to scold him, as many reported hearing her raise her voice at him and curse. Who is this girl? And how well does she really know Len?
After digging deeper, schoolmates, who also happen to be the same ones in possession of the pictures taken, told us that this girl is named Hatsune Miku. The same age as Kagamine Len, with a sweet disposition and doll-like features was the extent of the information we could gather on Hatsune Miku-san. Not much is yet known about their relationship, but this reporter is sure that any girl like this Hatsune Miku will be good for him. Fans are sure to embrace this latest development in Kagamine Len's love life. After all, it is a long-awaited event.
There was much more, stretching on for five or so pages, but Miku honestly couldn't bear the sight of her name printed on that page. She knew anyone who saw the two together would jump to this conclusion. She knew it, which was why she got so angry when he had appeared at her school gate dressed as a boy. She did the same thing when Kaito was around her in public. Luckily, even that idiot seemed to have the common sense to hide his real identity. But not Len. No, he just had to get them into this mess. No doubt the assumption that they were dating would piss him off just as much as it did her. They did not like each other that way; they never would. Len and Miku's relationship could barely be seen as friendship, but Miku admitted some sort of mutual agreement had been silently decided on, resulting in a shaky yet acceptable friendship.
In ager, she threw the glossy, colorful magazine back onto the offensive stand. Her mouth tasted of blood, and Miku realized she had cut through her lip with her own teeth. Well, that was just wonderful. In an attempt to settle her racing heart and flushed cheeks, she unwrapped her scarf and unbuttoned her coat a bit. The cool air flooded against her, raising bumps on her skin. But the simple act of shedding her warms layers seemed to help because she felt her heart melt back into a normal rhythm.
An unwilling sigh escaped parched, bloody lips as Miku slid her hands back into her pockets, her scarf once again placed around her neck, but three buttons lay undone on her jacket. The cold didn't bother her much anymore. A rage she seemed to be feeling more and more often lately boiled under her skin, controlled but not defeated. It warmed her body, the flush on her cheeks all but unnoticeable. Despite her acceptance of the frigid air, she didn't want to be out for too long. Where did that leave her, exactly?
Miku shuddered in irritation as the memory of the cozy café from yesterday sunk into her skin. Yes, Rin was there, but as long as she was without Piko, it wouldn't be that big of a deal... Right? Rin was nice enough and standable enough as long Piko wasn't drooling over her, which had only happened once so far. Yeah, Miku would be fine.
She swallowed her pride and started on the route she thought would lead her to her destination. Luckily enough, Miku wasn't as directionally challenged as some people (cough-Mikuo-cough) and actually arrived at the little coffee shop in a matter of twenty minutes or less. Rin spotted her through the large front window, and Miku saw the blond girl's face light up with the smile. That was adorable, she had to admit. Just like a child when their parent arrives at home after a long day of work.
"Hi, Miku-san!" Rin greeted, waving over the counter. Her white bow flopped over into her face and she swept it away with a single hand. The customers that were there, many more that the day before, glanced up first to the hyperactive blond, then to the short girl who had just entered. Amusement, disinterest, and irritation could be seen in the many eyes as they turned back to whatever they had been doing before Miku (it was really Rin, though) had interrupted them.
Miku swallowed a rebuke and smiled at Rin. She was nice; Miku also had to admit, if not a bit loud. And jumpy.
"Hello, Kagamine-san. How are you?" Miku asked quietly when she had made her way the counter.
"I'm great! Well, aside from being stuck at work. And the weather sucks. And Len's in a weird mood. But other than that, I'm doing great, really!" Rin gave Miku that intense smile, a smile she could never imagine finding on Len's face, despite the two looking similar enough to be twins.
"Kagamine is in a bad mood?" Miku asked, tilting her head a bit. Could she act like a good girl around Rin or did the older girl already know about her true nature? She hadn't acted especially angry around Rin yet, so Miku figured she could fake it and not get caught. But referring to Len simply as "Kagamine" wasn't very respectful, and Miku prided herself on keeping her good girl side respectful. "Prided" in the loosest definition, of course.
Rin nodded a few times, her smile never fading. "I guess he got a call from his agent earlier, 'cause that really the only reason Lenny is ever in a bad mood. Well, most of the time."
Rin looked just about ready to burst, as if she had a secret, but Miku ignored her look of desperation and… Amusement? It was none of her concern and she didn't want to hear whatever secrets the Kagamine siblings had.
"Oh. Well, I hope whatever happened to put Len in a sour mood gets fixed soon," Miku smiled gently. She was sincere because honestly an annoyed Len was not something she wanted to deal with.
"It probably will!" Rin reassured her, "Len isn't going to take this laying down!" She beamed.
Her purity hurts my eyes, Miku thought.
"Do you want anything to drink, Miku-san? Or maybe some muffins? They're still warm!"
The image of Rin threateningly holding a muffin, prepared to crash it into the back of Len's head, nearly made her explode with laughter. Their relationship was odd, and the use of muffins as weapons the day before was proof enough for Miku that Rin was definitely a little crazy.
"U-um, no thanks," Miku told her politely, attempting to hide the tears of laughter in her eyes. Hopefully Rin wouldn't get mad at her for laughing if she was caught.
"Are you crying?" Rin demanded, "Did the muffins make you cry? 'Cause if they did, I can punish them."
Miku lost it right then. A keen of laughter echoed around the café. No one seemed to care much about a teenager's sudden explosion of noise. Perhaps some had kids of their own and were used to it. Perhaps they had been here so often they were used to Rin being loud anyway. Whatever it was, no one seemed to mind when Miku high-pitched laughter filled the air. It was a nice sound, light and airy, filled with joy, much unlike Miku herself.
Rin eyed her in amusement. She waited as Miku tried to contain herself, blue eyes sparking childishly.
"Are you always this weird?" Miku asked lightheartedly, giggling into her hand.
Rin giggled as well. "I've been told so."
So maybe Rin wasn't as annoying or horrible as she had seemed yesterday. Then again, watching your childhood friend and crush drool over some girl he had known for, what, five minutes would probably make anyone dislike said girl for at least a little while. In fact, Miku could actually imagine herself getting along with Rin fairly well. As long as Piko wasn't in the room with them. Yeah…
Miku shook her head gently, wiping her eyes delicately with the back of her hand. "I'll just have some hot chocolate, please. I don't really like coffee."
Rin gave her a thumbs up. "Awesome! Something I won't mess up."
This statement left Miku feeling wary about leaving Rin around anything that involved food, especially knives or hot things, like stoves or coffee pots. Maybe she was a bit unstable as well as weird…
Miku left Rin to her job and sat herself at a corner table, away from the window. It seemed to have started snowing, flakes spiraling down to earth gently. Miku liked snow as long as she didn't have to be out in it, so this current arrangement was just fine with her. Rin seemed to be taking long enough that she had a chance to think for a bit, something Miku seemed to be doing rather well lately.
Miku smiled wryly as she watched the older girl rush around to prepare her hot chocolate. She seemed so close to knocking over things all the time. Honestly, she was a terrible role model. The girl hadn't even questioned why she, a high school student, was not in school on a Thursday. There wasn't near enough snow for a snow day to be scheduled. Clearly, Rin wasn't as concerned with school as other people her age. Although Len had mentioned something about her being in college, right? Miku swore he had told her something, but maybe she was wrong.
Rin carelessly skipped to Miku's table, almost spilling the warm drink inside the paper cup she had brought. Miku cringed as the girl slid the cup before her, smiling as always.
"I put whipped cream on top! That's how I always like it!" Rin exclaimed happily. The drink was far too warm for consumption, so Miku set it between her palms, feeling the heat resonate through her hands. Miku thanked her quietly, then turned to the blond.
"You're a college student, right?" Miku asked.
"Yep! Three years your senior, baby!" Rin told her, unnecessarily, "I'm going to be a doctor!"
"Wow…" Miku was actually impressed, if not worried. This silly girl, a doctor? She didn't think it would be possible. "That's a lot of schooling, though. Can you handle it?"
Rin smiled obliviously, unaware of Miku's true intentions behind the question. "Aw, that's sweet! I can totally do it, Miku-san! I'm not as irresponsible as I look!" Well, maybe not completely unaware.
"O-oh, that's not what I meant! I'm sure you're capable, but I bet it's a stressful job," Miku attempted to covered up her mildly veiled insult.
Riin grinned knowingly. "Miku-san, you are a terrible liar."
Miku had to agree as her cheeks flushed darkly.
