I may have gotten my inspiration back for this story? Maybe? Or maybe it's just a desperate attempt at procrastination. 17 days until I've finished my degree guys! I won't promise quick updates, as much as I wish I could. But I do want to thank you guys for your patience. So much. Like, there are no words to tell you how much I appreciate it, so thank you.
Chapter nine: the hilarity of safe
Hinata Speaks.
Safe is a funny word. Probably the funniest word in the world. Neji tells me I'm safe at least twenty-three times a day. I know. I've counted.
Tenten, too, tells me I'm safe. Her mouth says the word, but her eyes don't believe it. She hopes that if she says it enough, it'll be true. Like a mantra, a prayer, repetitious rhythm beating over and over like a heartbeat – truth, until it stops. Serious as a heart attack.
Everyone likes bleating this word at me, like sheep in a flock, saying it without truly understanding what it means.
But the thing is, I don't feel safe.
Once is an accident. Nearly being hit by a truck can be blamed on my own stupidity. Easily. I didn't look where I was going. But neither did he. I've stared into the eyes of someone who was millimetres away from killing me, and lived to tell the tale.
The truck driver had brown eyes. Brown, bored, bottomless eyes. Scared eyes. But not scared for me – scared for himself. He saw his life flash in front of him. A could-have-been life. A would-have-been life. Guilty of manslaughter, twenty years in prison for an accident. Twenty years in prison because a stupid girl can't look both ways before crossing the road.
Twice is intentional. Turning my life on and off like a light-switch. One flick of a button and everything's black.
I avoid light-switches now. Turn it off and then I'm gone instantaneously. And no matter how many times Neji says
You're safe now, Hinata.
No one's going to hurt you, Hinata.
The windows are bulletproof, Hinata.
You don't have to be scared, Hinata.
I can't quite believe him. Because I don't feel safe. What does safe even mean? Safe is a word you tell young children who are scared of imaginary monsters.
But my monsters are real, and I have the two-inch scar on my left temple to prove it.
There's no trace of my attempted killer. Something like this wasn't done by a rookie. It was the Uchiha. Everyone knows it. And everyone suspects it was done by the Demon. And that is terrifying in and of itself, because no one knows who the Demon is. We don't have a name, a gender, a physical description, or anything. We have rumours and myths. We know that wherever the Demon goes, death always follows. We know that the Demon hasn't missed a shot – until, maybe, me. And I'm quite certain the Demon only missed me because my light-switch gave me an electric shock as I flicked it off that night, making me jump just enough out of their way to make them miss the kill shot.
That's if it was the Demon though. But my gut tells me it was.
Funnily enough, and much to Neji's chagrin, I feel a semblance of safety whenever I see Gaara. I know it's probably to do with the fact that he, you know, saved my life that one time, but it's true. I don't trust him though. If my father taught me one thing, it's trust no one.
Neji took it from there. And despite my father's lessons, I do trust Neji. My nature makes it difficult for him to work with, but we figured out a way. Just play on peoples assumptions of me.
Kind, sweet, naïve, innocent Hinata. It's a good front. People underestimate me. Think they can take advantage of me. I don't like hurting people, and would rather avoid it wherever possible, but if I have to I will.
Since the attempt on my life, my father has worked almost non-stop to find out everything he can on the Uchiha. He knew it was dangerous for us to move here. But he also knows that the Uchiha are our biggest rivals. Fugaku Uchiha is a formidable opponent, but my father knows that he can't be any more ready than he currently is. He knew the risks associated with moving to Konoha, but he also knew that either he or Fugaku would have to make the move sooner or later. The world isn't big enough for the two of them.
And yes, the Uchiha have the Demon and Itachi on their side. We are in their territory and they have more men. But my father has always been about quality over quantity. They have more, but we have better. We have Neji, for starters. A prodigy, one of the most skilled weapons in the world. There's not a weapon in the world he isn't proficient with – and that includes everything from guns to knives to his body. And then we have Tenten. If Neji is proficient with every weapon in the world, then Tenten is a master. Her hand-to-hand could use a little work (my Aikido is more advanced than hers), but she knows technology far better than I ever could. Tenten has the brains and Neji the brawn. In a fight, I would bet on them every time.
And yet, despite their combined expertise, when I think of that funny word safe, I think of Gaara. Strange, how the world works.
It takes Tenten hours to finish questioning Gaara after my run-in with him in the Lobby. But she's satisfied when it is over. Apparently she grilled him "like steak on a barbecue, Hinata," and if he had anything to hide, he would've slipped up. He's as average as they come, apparently, but he can shoot well and take orders, so he's useful, at least.
I see him whenever I go down into the Lobby, and he nods at me, and I smile back at him, because maybe he doesn't like himself, but that doesn't mean that I can't like him.
Except on the Saturday, he's not there. I frown, because smiling at him has become habit, and now he's broken it, and I ask Neji if he knows anything.
"He hasn't been fired or quit, to my knowledge. And I would know about it if he had, Hinata. It's probably just his day off." Neji's eyes turn sharp when we leave the Hyuuga building, his muscles turn tense, waiting for danger. Always alert, is Neji, especially these days. I can't blame him, though. Stepping out on to the street is nerve-wracking for me. I hate being so exposed. Light-switch or not, will the bullet come? So fast it's buried in my brain before I can even hear the shot?
Neji and I quickly scurry into the bullet-proof car that is waiting for us at the curb, Tenten at the wheel.
"Ino's waiting for you at the uni, Hinata," she says as she accelerates into traffic. "I've booked you a private section in the library. No windows. You're there for three hours and then we're coming home, understand?"
"Sakura's meeting us too," I say, strapping my seatbelt on. It'll be good to see my friends again. I haven't seen them in weeks. Not since a little incident involving a truck and a boy with blood-red hair happened.
"No she's not," Tenten replies firmly, not taking her eyes off the road.
"What do you mean, she's not?" I demand, annoyed. "What have you done, Tenten? Sakura didn't try to kill me."
"No, she didn't," interjects Neji on Tenten's behalf. I can see the brunette looking at me through the rear-view mirror. "But her boyfriend's family did. And honestly we shouldn't even be letting you see Ino, considering Sakura's her best friend, but that girl scares me when she doesn't get her way, so you can see her."
I want to fight him, but I don't. He's looking out for me. Him and Tenten. Both of them would die for me on the spot, if they had to. They're just doing their job, and there's no point in me making it harder for them. Even if I do want to see Sakura.
We get to the uni with little incident (unless you count Tenten's road rage, in which case, there were plenty of incidents), and I make it inside the library alive. Tenten immediately begins to drag me off towards a near-deserted section of the library, when a glint of blood-red hair appears in the corner of my vision, and I dig my heels into the carpet, surprised and excited to see Gaara sitting at one of the computers.
So, um, yeah. I've started to get some ideas back for this story. Maybe that was my problem. Too much story and not enough plot or direction to go with it. Either way, I thought it would be really interesting to have Hinata actually know about her father's business. Hinata being kept in the dark has been done so often, it might spice things up a bit to have her actually know stuff for once.
I'm really sorry I can't promise anything solid with this story. I've started to get a bit of it back, but I don't want to go off proclaiming that everything'll be fine and then have the writer's block hit in another five chapters, you know? I'll take the story off hiatus in the meantime though. And really, thank you for your support guys, it honestly means so much to me. I know I don't really deserve reviews, but can I ask for them anyway? Oh, and to Guest reviewer, yes, I do plan to write SasuSaku again one day, but not right now. I'm really just loving the GaarHina fandom at the moment.
Much love and more thanks, Alia xoxoxo
