For the record, I am not Catholic, so I apologize if I get anything in the first scene wrong, and I mean absolutely no disrespect to anyone. I did my best.
(Ryan's Point of View)
By the time I had left Alyssa with Castle in the waiting room and got to the main corridor, Javier was completely out of my line of sight. I looked for him for ages, and eventually found him a few floors up in the hospital chapel. I spotted him in the back pew, but before I could join him, I turned to a statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary that was near the front door and quickly made the sign of the Trinity out of respect.
When I approached my partner, he didn't try to push me away like I thought he would. In fact, he moved over in the pew and made room for me to join him.
He didn't object when I began a conversation with him in quiet tones.
"Even after all these years together, I never pegged you as a praying man, Javi."
"I'm not so much a praying man anymore," he answered honestly. "But my mom goes to Mass the time."
"Is Ophelia Roman Catholic?"
"Yeah, and my dad was, too." Javier was still for a moment. "Lanie was also raised Roman Catholic by her parents, but…"
"Yes?" I prompted.
"But… things happen and you have a crisis of faith. Lanie and I still go to Mass during the holidays, but we haven't attended regularly since Lanie was pregnant with Jessica." He finished.
"I'm sorry, bro." I sympathized.
The other man shrugged. "Don't be."
"Then what led you here?"
My friend sighed and looked around the small chapel. A stack of different Bible versions were on a table, off to the side, for anyone seeking wisdom. There were a few rows of pews facing a pulpit, which was flanked by rows and rows of prayer candles in stands. I wasn't sure how many how many candles there were, but some sections of the candles were lit and some weren't, so the reflection cast an eerie glow on the walls.
"Jess was born in this hospital." Javier said after a minute. "She was supposed to have been born in a hospital near our building in the Bronx, but she came almost three weeks early, when Lanie was checking out colleges in this area, and I was getting information on the Police Academy . My mom and Lanie's mom were both with us."
"Did something happen to make Lanie's labor start when it did?"
"Some idiot pushed her, and she fell."
"That's awful!" I exclaimed, wrinkling my nose in disgust. "Did you ever catch the person?"
"No." he shook his head. "I wanted to, but I had to taken care of Lanie because she was having a major freak-out. She ended up being in labor for fifteen hours, and she was hysterical for most of it because she couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong."
"Wow…"
"Lanie's instincts were right, though. When Jess came out, the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck and she didn't cry at first." He rubbed his eyes, and I knew he was trying his hardest not to cry. "There was my little girl, all brand new to the world, and I couldn't even help her…"
"I understand the feeling of helplessness when your little girl—and the love of your life are suffering."
"What?" he was surprised by this. "How?"
"Jenny and I had a scare with Alyssa when Jenny was in labor because Allie wanted to come out feet-first."
"Ouch." Javier winced. "By the time Jessica had been born, her little sister, Jenner had already been born, too. Lanie and I were thrilled that she was here, but we didn't have any news about our girl."
"Didn't you know anything about Jessica yet?"
"Other than that she was oursand she was born alive, not really, no. After they untangled the umbilical cord from around her neck, they took her away and put her in an incubator because she was a preemie. We couldn't even hold her or touch her, and we never got that chance until we met her last year." He took a deep breath and slowly let it out, obviously trying to calm his nerves. "Lanie and I said goodbye to her in the morning, and that just made things harder because the last image we had of our baby girl for twenty years was of her being hooked up to breathing tubes because her lungs weren't even all the way developed yet, and she was in just a diaper, booties for her feet, and a knitted hat. Jessica Rose was fighting for her life. That's not how you want to remember your child, especially if you had to walk away from them…"
My partner fell silent for a minute, and I briefly remembered back to when my mom had walked away from dad, Thomas and me all those years ago. Even though I was really little when it had happened, I remember it clearly because of how devastated I had been.
There is no way that I can begin to fathom what it would be like if Jenny ever walked away from Alyssa purposefully—good or ill intentions—because if she did… it would destroy me.
"There was a point during Lanie's labor where she just wasn't herself and she banished me from the room." Javier's voice brought me back to the present and I paid more attention to him. "Lanie is really scary when she's in that kind of pain, so the next thing I knew, I was out of there, desperate for some kind of sanctuary. I don't know how long I was up here, but I remember feeling peaceful after awhile."
"And that's why you came up here now?"
He nodded. "Exactly, bro."
I knew that I still had to bring up the subject of why he had left the waiting room, but it took me a minute to think of what to say without making him angry.
"Javier," I spoke in a very serious tone as I turned to face him. "What was that about in the waiting room when you walked out? Your wife is pretty freaked, but my wife and Beckett are taking care of her for the time being."
The other man sighed and ran a hand over her very short haircut.
"As soon as Amaya filled us in on Jess' condition, I started thinking back to when Jess was born, and when she was in the incubator, but when she announced that she was pregnant again, I started thinking of a million other things… 'what-if' scenarios, actually."
"Like what if the new baby was born blind like Gabby was… or what if he or she becomes blind later on like Jessica did?"
"Yes," Javier nodded. "And those were just some of the things that come to mind right away. I really hope that you and Jenny never have to go through the things that we have when it comes to raising not one, but two disabled children. We just got lucky that Grace was born as healthy as a horse, and is still that way. According to my mom, she's as tough as Lanie and I were at that age."
"Alyssa is really healthy and is becoming tougher, too." I spoke proudly of my only child. "Jen says that it's the O'Malley blood in her. They're all made of tough stuff."
Javier was curious. "What do you mean by that?"
"I'd tell you, Javi, I would, but Jenny would send all four of her brothers after me if I told before they were ready." I shivered at the thought. "But wow, do they all have stories to tell!"
I'm not willing to risk the possibility of having pain inflicted upon me by any of Jenny's brothers, much less all four of them at the same time, because they're all very strong and lean Irishmen who range between six feet even, and six feet, five inches tall.
(I feel tiny compared to them)
But I don't know which part is the scarier one: that Liam, Kieran, Declan and Riordan all take their duty of protecting their little (and only) sister's heart and life veryseriously… or the fact that they're identical quadruplets.
(Which means that there's a chance that Jenny's next pregnancy could be a multiple pregnancy… Terrific.)
My partner chuckled at my obvious discomfort and patted me on the back. "Then don't worry about it, Kev. I won't ask anymore questions because I need you alive if you're going to be my partner until the wheels fall off."
I breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you!"
He held a hand out with his fingers bunched together and I copied him.
"Any time, bro." he promised as we fed the birds. "Any time."
Smiling because I knew that we were on good terms made the next thing a whole lot easier to say.
"Why don't I walk you back down to the waiting room so you can apologize to Lanie?" I got to my feet and he did the same before I could offer to help him. "it would be the best thing to do, and everyone would benefit from it—not just you two."
"Seriously?"
I nodded. "You and I have always been close because we're practically brothers by now, but after all of the crazy things we've been through before and during our partnership that we shouldn't be as close as we are because it goes against the status quo. Life obviously had other plans."
"I can't argue with that one…"
Shortly before mine and Javier's paths crossed, my old partner was killed during a routine investigation (during which I was shot in the arm) and Javier's old partner had to fake his own death as part of an assignment he was on, and by doing so, he was practically betraying everyone around him. I was assigned to Javier shortly thereafter.
"Right." I nodded. "But in the past year, our wives have become closer as friends than they were before Castle and Beckett adopted Lily Joy. That little girl's arrival, as well as Jenny's and Lanie's relationship with Beckett seems to be something that the others have rallied around, like they're the glue, for lack of a better word. We all come from so many different backgrounds, like dirt broke to Fifth Avenue trust fund babies, and somehow, some way, we're all a family. 'A family who cries together celebrates together, too.' That's something that my old man used to say."
"Dude," Javier's eyebrows were raised. "If I tell you to shut up right now, will you promise to? You're starting to freak me out with all of this touchy-feely crap."
I chuckled at his choice of words, but I answered him dutifully. "Yes, I promise."
"Good answer." He praised. "Now shut up and show me back to the waiting room so I can apologize to my lady."
Later that morning, 9:30 a.m.
Room 2112
Jessica's Point of View
When I woke up, I had no idea how much time had passed, but I did know that I was very thirsty and that I couldn't see anything because I didn't have my glasses on. I was also aware that someone was camped out in a chair next to my bed, and the steady clicking sound of knitting needles let me know that my visitor was Amaya Serizawa.
"Amaya," I croaked, throat very dry. "What's going on? Did I faint at the loft tonight?"
She made shushing noises as she put her knitting down and made her way over and pressed a cup of water into my hands before helping me put on my glasses.
"Yes, Jessica," she told me as my eyes came into focus. "Youdid faint at the loft, but that was late last night."
"What time is it now?" I took a long sip of water through the straw in the cup. "What day is it?"
Amaya took the cup from me and set it down on my bedside table before resuming her spot in the chair so she could resume her knitting project.
"It's about 9:30 on Saturday morning, and you've been asleep since 1:30, or so."
As I massaged my temples with my fingertips, I noticed that as well as having been put into a hospital gown, a doctor had hooked me up to some sort of drip in my arm.
"I remember slipping on a broken beer mug and bleeding from a cut. I also remember Alexis tending to me, but everything else after that is a total blank."
"You had a blood transfusion, and my parents oversaw the procedure." I opened my mouth to say something, but didn't get too far because Amaya was reading my mind. "My parents are both trauma surgeons here. You're in good hands with them, I promise."
I nodded faintly. "Did you say that I had a blood transfusion?"
"I did," Amaya confirmed. "And don't worry—your body responded well to the treatment, so your recovery is right on schedule, and we found you a proper blood donor."
"Who?" I asked curiously. "Mama?"
Amaya shook her head slowly, as if she was thinking hard about something. "No, it wasn't Lanie. It wasn't me, either. I have the same blood type as you, and if I wasn't pregnant, I would've been the first person to volunteer."
Her words made me smile because she was once more showing motherly love for a child who wasn't even her own.
"Then who was my donor?"
"My oldest son, Kiyoshi was." Amaya stopped to check the progress on a nearly completed baby blanket. "He's in the next room, recovering from the procedure, too, and I imagine that he'll be around after breakfast. Kiyoshi is really shy, but he wants to check on you, himself, to make sure that you're okay."
"That's very sweet." I commented, remembering back to last year when the Castles all expressed strong desires to meet me after the girls had been returned to safety. "I think I'd like to meet him, too."
"He'll be glad to hear that because he's pretty nervous, even though I assured him that you're friends with Calvin and Alexis." Amaya shook her head in amusement and changed the subject. "Lots of well-wishers have been by while you were sleeping. Take a look at your bedside table."
Looking over, I saw that the table was laden down with numerous flower vases and get well cards, wishing me a speedy recovery. There were even a few wrapped presents, too.
I was deeply moved by all of it, but I suddenly realized that there was one thing that Amaya hadn't addressed yet.
"Where is my family?" I wanted to know. "Is Gabriella okay? I hope she isn't too worried about me. The last time she saw me in a hospital bed, I was recovering from a miscarriage, and it really did a number on her little head…"
"Gabriella is fine, I just saw her a little while ago. She's fine, but she misses you a great deal. Juliana brought her and Grace by earlier to see you, but you were still sleeping. Your parents wanted to come, but neither one of them had the energy to make it in here, so Juliana sent them home in a cab so they could get some rest. She's looking after the girls for the time being. Your parents will be here later."
"Okay." I felt relief sweep through me. "What about my friends? What about Alexis? She took care of me."
"And if it hadn't been for her quick thinking last night, we wouldn't be having this conversation because you would've bled out before the paramedics even arrived." I was so surprised by my friend's words that I couldn't find the right words to say, so I just watched her as she continued speaking. "Alexis was treated by Juliana for slight shock, but she's fine now, too."
"Good." I laid back in my bed.
There were so many things that I wanted to say to Amaya, but I didn't get too far because my stomach growled loudly, making me realize that I was starving because the last time I had eaten was last night at the loft. As if on cue, a nurse came in with a breakfast tray and helped me get things sorted out before she left the room with Amaya, who had to leave because she had rounds to attend to and babies to help Emily deliver.
After breakfast, I occupied myself with inspecting the presents on my bedside table. Among them were five vases filled with different kinds of flowers, and was a little disappointed when I didn't spot any roses, my favorite flower and half of my namesake. (Is that wrong?) The packages contained a few trinkets to entertain me during the duration of my hospital stay, a set of books in Braille from Martha among them. I had to smile when I saw that there was a huge wicker basket filled with all sorts of baked goods, meaning that even Madison had been by, and it wasn't even noon yet.
When I was done with that, I tried to concentrate on watching TV to pass the time, but I couldn't focus too well because I was beginning to get a headache from my glasses. (Even after a year of having them and getting adjusted, my eyes go whacko on me from time-to-time because I went for so long without getting any proper treatment) So… I took them off and resigned to reading a Braille copy of Matilda,which had been in the set of books.
Eventually, I became aware of a presence in the doorway. All I could make out was the outline of a person, but even at that, the image was being made distorted by something that the person was carrying.
"I can't see you, but I know you're there." I called out as I set my book down. "I don't bite, amigo, so you can come in."
I heard nervous laughter from the person as they entered my room, followed by what was definitely a male voice. "Well, that's a really good thing to know because I just want to see that you're okay."
My new visitor busied himself with tying what I guessed was a large number of balloons to my bed, and it suddenly hit me who this person was.
"Kiyoshi?" I guessed, trying my hardest to track his movements.
He sat down in the chair that his mother had occupied earlier, but he sounded nervous when he spoke. "Yeah, it's me. I'm here."
Wanting to be absolutely sure, I reached out to hold his hand. He took mine, but I definitely noticed his hesitancy. "Thanks for coming to my rescue like that. It was very kind of you to do that for a complete stranger."
"You're welcome, and you're not entirely a stranger because you know my family and Calvin and Alexis. I haven't been around because crowds make me nervous." He added on a joke for good measure, but still sounded nervous. "I guess you can't get rid of me since my blood is in your veins now."
As lame as his joke was, I humored him because I could tell that he was different, and that he was trying really hard to make an effort. It also didn't escape me that when he spoke, he was a little slower than the average person.
"I guess not. It's going to be impossible to get rid of you. We're literally bonded for life now."
Kiyoshi laughed weakly and I could tell that he was even more nervous now than he was before.
Amaya really wasn't kidding about her son's nervousness!
Poor guy…
"Are you all right, Kiyoshi?" I gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "You're freaking out like your own shadow is going to stab you!"
"Well, I do care, but…" he trailed off, embarrassed.
"Keep going." I encouraged him in a kind voice. "I want to know."
He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "I-I don't like talking that much because it's hard, and because I get made fun of for being slow. It's part of my autism…" Kiyoshi sighed, but kept going, as if he had gotten a second wind. "I haven't really held anyone's hand this much in a long time because I don't really like making physical contact because it sort of weirds me out. People think I'm weird for all of that and more, and I don't have that many friends because I'm… different."
"But you're doing so good!" I encouraged him a little more, but respectfully let go of his hand. "You know what, though, Kiyoshi?"
"What?"
"It doesn't matter to me if you're autistic, and that you don't like talking too much. I like you for who you are, and I still want to be your friend, anyway."
I couldn't see his face, but his voice conveyed a childish joy that made my heart melt as he spoke.
"Really, Jessica? You mean that?"
"I do." I nodded sincerely. "Guess what else?"
"What else?"
I was finding Kiyoshi's antics and childish joy very endearing, even if he was a little off like he said. "You don't like to talk, and I can't see because I'm blind. It's safe to say that you're in good company with me."
Kiyoshi laughed yet again, but this time it sounded like he was a little more at ease.
"Oh!" he cried suddenly as he remembered something. "I'm all cleared to go home, but I did get you some presents, since you're going to be here a little longer."
Trying not to be too disappointed by news of a longer stay, I tried to be cheerful. "What did you bring?"
"I brought you a bouquet of Mylar balloons, and I tied them to your bed." Kiyoshi took my hand in his and my heart melted for the second time because I now knew what it meant to him to even touch me. I had to fight myself to concentrate as he brought my hand over to touch what felt like a cluster of balloon strings. "There are about ten of them, and they say things like 'Get well soon,' and so on."
"Thank you, Kiyoshi." I pulled away from the balloons because my arm was getting tired, seeing as it was the one that had been cut and was now hooked up to an IV drip. "Are there any shapes in the bouquet?"
"Stars, birds, a heart…"
Kiyoshi's voice trailed off, and I could tell that he was embarrassed at the mention of the heart-shaped balloon, and it sort of reminded me of how Gabriella and her friends start giggling insanely whenever the topic of love is brought up. (It wouldn't surprise me a bit if Kiyoshi was blushing to some degree) My new friend kept going, to save himself from further embarrassment, but what was probably a whole lot of awkwardness for him. His tone was rushed, like he was tripping over his words.
"I got you a vase of roses." He held a vase of them under my nose for me to smell. "I thought it would be fitting since 'rose' is part of your name… and now that I see you, I think that you're really beautiful… Glamorous, actually."
It was my turn to suddenly feel embarrassed. "You really think I'm glamorous?" I spoke with a large amount of incredulity. "But I'm covered in tattoos!"
There came the sound of him placing the vase on my bedside table before he responded. "I mean what I say, Jessica Rose. It's practically impossible for me to tell a lie."
Touched by this, but also increasingly aware that I couldn't see Kiyoshi because my eyes were so bad, I thought quickly of how to change the subject.
"Kiyoshi, do you like reading?"
"Yes…"
I picked up my copy of Matilda and showed it to him. "Do you like Matilda?"
"It's been my favorite since I was five!"
"Same here!" I said enthusiastically. "How about I read to you for awhile? I can read it because it's in Braille."
"I like that idea."
I was very happy by this, but squelched my happiness because I didn't want him to know just yet that I was (maybe, kind of, sort of) falling in love with him (maybe, kind of, sort of) a little bit, and I didn't really want him going anywhere because I was enjoying his presence a great deal.
Kiyoshi happily kept me company for the rest of the morning and into the after noon. We did lots of things, and after awhile, I noticed that he was opening up to me and talking a little bit more. I was actually pretty proud of him when Alexis, Ashley, Calvin, Melissa and Tobias showed up, and he made conversation with all of them, even though it was an obvious effort for him.
When the others left, my feelings became somewhat ruffled because my parents hadn't come by for a visit yet, but that was driven from my mind when Juliana stopped by for a visit with Grace and Gabriella. Juliana couldn't stay long, but she agreed to let Gabriella stay with me for awhile. Grace was disappointed by this, and Gabriella did her best to hide her delight until her aunt and Juliana were gone.
"Hola, mama!" Gabriella chirped joyously as she gave me a big hug and kiss. "I missed you lots and lots, and I was really scared."
"Lo siento, niña." I apologize to my daughter. "I got hurt, and now I'm in the hospital so I can heal."
She rubbed my stomach gently. "Was there a baby in there?"
My heart skipped a beat at her words. "No, there wasn't."
"Oh." Gabriella sighed in disappointment. "I just want a baby brother."
Literally unable to say a word at her confession, I settled against my pillows and tried my hardest not to cry. Kiyoshi, bless his heart, realized how uneasy I was because he began to engage her in a conversation.
"Your name is Gabriella?" he asked in a curious tone.
"Uh-huh. Mi nombre es Gabriella Delaney Esposito now 'cause we changeded it las' year…" she paused for a minute, and I realized that she was probably sizing him up. "What's your name? Habla Spanglish?"
"I'm Kiyoshi." He introduced himself to her. "I'm friends with your mama, and no, I don't speak Spanglish that well, but I'm sure I could get better."
There was amusement in my daughter's voice, and her next question made my face burn. "Do you have kids, Kiyoshi?"
"Gabriella!" I hissed in embarrassment.
I could tell Kiyoshi was amused by my tone, but he still answered her. "No, I don't have kids, but I do have two brothers and two sisters."
Gabriella thought hard for a moment. "Tokutaro, Mitsunobu, Shinju an' Nozomi?"
"That's right."
She squealed in happy delight. "Your mama es Amaya?"
"Right again."
Gabriella squealed again. "I love them all, very a lot. I like you, too, Yoshi!"
I could hear the smile in Kiyoshi's voice. "Did you just give me a nickname?"
"Si." My daughter confirmed. "We gon' call you Yoshi now, 'cause I already gots Tía Lexie, Tío Ashley, Tía Missy an' Tío Calvin. You are jus' Yoshi."
Lots of butterflies popped up in my stomach suddenly because I realized that in her own way, Gabriella was giving Kiyoshi her approval. That, and she clearly adores him the way that LJ adores Ashley.
"I do like the nickname." Kiyoshi told Gabriella. "Do you have a nickname?"
"My Mo calls me Bella." She offered. "Sometimes mama does, too."
"Well, if I'm Yoshi, and you're Bella, what about your mama?"
"They call her Jess."
"Yoshi, Jess and Bella." He tried out. "Do you like that?"
"Mm-hm." My daughter showed her approval.
"We sound like a team." Kiyoshi mused.
"Like a family." Gabriella corrected. "If you married mama, she would be happy again…"
A silence fell upon the room almost immediately and I was trying even harder to contain my tears. The sudden shift in the mattress weight let me know that Gabriella was getting off, and Kiyoshi was probably holding her.
Speaking of Kiyoshi, he broke the silence first.
"Jess? Are you okay?"
I sighed shakily. "I don't know. Bella obviously adores you, but she brought up some touchy subjects."
"You can tell me anything because I never tell secrets," he shifted his weight in his chair as he spoke. "And besides, Bella fell asleep."
Among many of my daughter's quirks, her internal clock makes her very punctual, so she always falls asleep right on time every afternoon for her nap.
…I suddenly had the distinct feeling that since I had spent this much time with Kiyoshi, and I was enjoying his company, that meant that I could trust him. And he's a Serizawa, and is therefore linked to what happened all those years ago on the subway platform…
"Bella asked me if I had been pregnant because I was in the hospital last year after I had a miscarriage. She remembers it clearly because of how sad I was afterwards—the postpartum depression really got to me."
Kiyoshi offered sympathy. "I'm so sorry for your loss."
"Thanks, Yoshi." I used his new nickname for the first time, and for some reason, it just made my heart feel a little lighter. "Bella wants a little brother or sister because she's tired of being an only child, and she doesn't give up hope… even though she knows that I can't have kids anymore."
My friend moved his chair closer to my bed, and I was mildly surprised when he intertwined his fingers with mine.
"I'm really, really sorry, Jessica." Kiyoshi said sincerely. "I wish I could make it better for you."
That's when I finally allowed myself to cry.
"I know who my child's father is, but she doesn't know at all. It's better if she doesn't know because she'd be safe. I'll do anything for her because she's mine and she always comes first, but I can't imagine my life without her." I gave a shuddering gasp as I did everything I could to keep those memories from coming back to the surface after having spent the last five years trying to bury them. "I would love to have another child, but it's all just wishful thinking now. It would take something like a miracle for that to happen."
Kiyoshi's next words became permanently ingrained in my memory almost as soon as they were out of his mouth.
"Never give up on a miracle."
My tears stilled almost immediately.
Those are the kindest words anyone has ever said to me, Yoshi." I replied in a whisper. "Thank you so much."
"You're welcome."
He was quiet for a minute after that, but he did give my hand a gentle squeeze as he spoke again. The butterflies in my stomach increased tenfold just at his touch, but again, I wasn't about to let him know that.
"I noticed that you became quieter when Bella mentioned that she thinks that the three of us are like a family…"
Leave it to Gabriella to speak what's on her mind to someone she only just met ten minutes previously.
"She wants to be part of a family as much as she wants a sibling," I explained. "Because she told me once that if either of those things happened, she knew it would make me happy." I smiled at the memory. "My sweet girl does want things for herself, but she's always put my happiness before her own."
Kiyoshi was hesitant again, but it seemed as if he was thinking carefully about something. "You also became quiet when Bella 'suggested' that I marry you."
"That's because I don't believe in marriage anymore. Not after—"
I stopped short and cursed quietly in Spanish when I realized that I was about to delve even deeper into my past than ever before.
"Remember, Jess," he reminded me. "I won't say a word."
That made me feel a little better as I turned towards the direction of his voice. "Kiyoshi, does 'the Untouchable' or 'the Dragon' mean something to you?"
"Hell, yes." His voice hardened. "Some call him the Untouchable or the Dragon, but I've always called him by his rightful name even though I haven't seen him before."
"What name would that be?" I asked, hardly daring to believe what I was hearing.
"Akuma ryū."
"And that means…?"
He quickly apologized. "Sorry. It means 'devil dragon' in Japanese." Gabriella suddenly shifted in her sleep at this point, but it was only to change positions. Kiyoshi patiently waited until my daughter was settled before he continued speaking. "I call akuma ryū because I know he was responsible for ordering Jordan 's kidnapping and Calvin's attack."
A new thought struck me. "I heard through the grapevine that you were on the platform that night…"
"Yes, I was. I saw my dad get shot, but he was being a good Samaritan, so his death wasn't even planned. He was a casualty of a very, very long war." his voice became a little harder. "The akuma ryū needs to pay for his crimes."
"I wholeheartedly agree, amigo." I told him earnestly. "But the akuma ryū as you call him… well…"
I got choked up again because I was once more very close to letting one of my darkest secrets show itself.
"About the akuma ryū," I tried again. "I'm… legally married to him."
"What?" Kiyoshi was aghast.
"Yes." I nodded, wiping my tears. "I never wanted it, and I don't even want it."
"Then why…?"
"Something about spousal privilege." I answered the rest of his unfinished question. "According to New York state laws, at least, if I'm married to him, that means something like I'm legally bound by law to not report him for the horrible things he has done, and believe me, I know everything that he's done in the past few years."
"How long have you been married, then?"
(Was it my imagination, or did Kiyoshi sound a little disappointed?)
I did the math quickly. "Five years, because it happened right after Bella was born, and he had appointed himself my guardian, and I'm pretty sure that the judge who oversaw the ceremony was a crooked one. We ran away from that life last year literally less than an hour after the tattoo on my face was completed. I'm pretty surprised that nobody has come after me to collect me…" I sighed. "Running away was the lesser of two evils, Yoshi."
"How so?"
"If we hadn't arrived when we did last year, Jordan and her team wouldn't have been able to locate Alexis, Lily Joy and Tobias as quick as they did during the abduction." I bit my bottom lip as I thought of how best to phrase the rest of what I had to say. "I had to leave some people behind, and it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"What makes you say that?"
"Gabriella and the child I lost aren't my only children."
Kiyoshi gasped, obviously shocked by this, and I could tell he wanted to say something. However, he didn't have the time because we heard footsteps in the hallway that sounded like they were headed in the direction of my room. Just as I hissed at Kiyoshi to stand by his word about not telling anyone else what we discussed, the footsteps came to a stop in front of my door.
It turned out that the new people were my parents.
…Good thing we had stopped our conversation at the right time…
I begged Kiyoshi to stay with me, but he said that I should be with me my parents because this was the first time that they'd been by since I was admitted to the hospital. As he laid the still-sleeping Gabriella next to me in the bed, he promised that he'd be back tomorrow.
…Even though my daughter, my parents and my baby sister were still in the room with me after Kiyoshi left, I missed him terribly already…
…The lack of his warm presence also made a certain old saying spring to mind: love is blind…
My parents and I chatted at length, even after Gabriella woke up and started playing with Grace. And even at that, it still took a huge amount of concentration to not bring up anything that Kiyoshi and I had talked about.
But there was one thing that my parents didn't touch on, and I called them out on it, feeling angry.
"What took you two so long to come see me? It's evening now, and I've been here since way early this morning! You're my parents. You should have been here first when I woke up! What kept you?"
They were quiet, and since I still wasn't wearing my glasses, I could only guess that they were exchanging worried glances with each other.
Papa spoke up first. "We haven't been here until just now because there were some things that we had to talk about, and it took longer than we thought it would."
I raised an eyebrow, knowing that it was mirroring the pissed off expression that mama wore on her face when she was the same kind of mood that I was in now.
"What things would those things be, exactly?"
…Please not a divorce. Please not a divorce…
Mama leaned forward and held my hand in hers. "Niña, this might be a little hard for you to hear, but… I'm pregnant again."
My heart sank like a stone at her words, and I immediately pulled my hand away. The emotions that I'd been grappling with all day suddenly came bubbling to the surface.
"Go away."
Mama's voice was shattered and heavy with grief. "Oh, Jessica, you don't mean that. No, baby girl. You don't mean that."
"I actually do." My voice was a deadly calm. "I can't talk to you or papa right now."
"Jessica R—" Papa tried, but I cut him off.
"No!" my voice was a little louder, a little bit more forceful, and I felt a slight pang of regret when I heard both Grace and Gabriella whimper fearfully at the change in my tone. "Please leave! Now!"
I knew that I had hurt my parents deeply with my words, but it had to be done. Grace was mad about having to leave, but she still gave me a hug and kiss goodbye. Gabriella was just upset and wouldn't leave until I held her for a minute or two. Both of my parents were completely shattered by the time they said their goodbyes, and I was sure that I heard them consoling each other as they herded the little kids out of the room.
I began crying up a storm when I was alone, and who should show up for a visit in the middle of that, but Martha? Other than Kiyoshi, Martha was the only other person that I wanted right now.
Much like Alexis would've done if she was with me, Martha didn't say a word as she sat on the side of the bed and held me close in a comforting cuddle until I was done crying.
She used the tone that a mother uses when calming her frightened child. "Do you want to talk about it?"
I shook my head and rubbed my eyes. "No, I don't." I whispered hoarsely. "We can talk about anything else."
…My heart twisted a little bit when I realized that even she didn't know that I'm married to her son's father. I'll have to tell her soon, before the secret eats me alive…
"Well, good," she chirped, brushing one of my dreadlocks out of my face. "Because there is a note attached to a vase of roses on your bedside table, and it doesn't look like it's been touched…"
My heart did a complete somersault because that meant that if the note was attached to the rose vase, the note had to be from Kiyoshi!
"I didn't know it was there because I haven't worn my glasses all day."
"Your eyes going whacko on you again?"
"Unfortunately, yes." I glanced in the direction of the table. "But I am feeling better now. Could you please hand me my glasses and the note?"
Martha handed me my glasses first and waited until my eyes became adjusted to hand me the note. (After doing the math, I realized that Kiyoshi must've written it when I wasn't paying attention) When I read the words written in Kiyoshi's neat penmanship, my heart melted completely, and I fell in love with him even more.
Dear whoever is reading this:
You're beautiful and someone out there is crazy about you. So smile. Life is too short to be unhappy.
Always yours,
Yoshi
P.S.: Tattoos or not, 'glamorous' will always be my word for you
Do any of you readers (other than my usual posse) have any interest in the story anymore? If you do, it would really make my day if you showed me some love by dropping a review. I'm feeling really discouraged right now :(
