You guys… I am SO sorry! I got my chapters mixed up completely! Chapter 9 was posted instead of chapter 8… dammit!
Go read, and please forgive me for my idiocy!
We're at the prologue now folks… Present time and the ten year anniversary of the accident.
Chapter 8
Now…
Her POV
The sun sets low in the sky, with dark clouds looming on the horizon. A rumble of thunder makes me jump, and I pick up speed as I head toward my parents' grave. The cool air nips at my cheeks, a warning that summer won't be around too much longer.
I wrap my jacket tighter around my body. My hands are shaking, the dread already sitting deep in my stomach. I've been told this gets easier. But how could it? Sometimes I think I have it all together, like maybe I can carry on. I can be strong.
On other days the pain hits me like a bulldozer, as fresh as it was the day they died.
The rain starts to fall. It's only light, but I know it's only a matter of time before it gets stronger. I could almost laugh at the irony. That exactly ten years ago, on a very similar kind of night, my parents were snatched away from me.
There is no laughter, though.
Instead, the tears fall freely, and I do nothing to stop them.
I hate these kind of nights. The ones, where the sun hides from us, the darkness creeping in and taking over in mere moments. Dark clouds looming in the distance, teasing us, only hitting us at the last minute, giving us no time to prepare.
The kind of night that makes me think about when they left me.
I can almost hear the screech of the tires.
I can almost hear my dad's panic stricken voice, begging my mom to wake up, and then just waiting in the darkness until he followed after her.
I fall to my knees as I reach their headstones, the flowers slipping to the ground.
"Hi, Daddy. Hi, Mom." My fingers trace their names etched in the cold stone.
ooOoo
I don't know how long I sit there in the rain, not caring as the water seeps through my rain coat. I can feel my jeans getting damp, and my hair curling where the edges have blown out from under my hood.
Feeling utterly drained, I gather the flowers that I dropped, replace them with the old bouquet, and head home.
Every step I take tonight feels foreboding. Normally, coming here helps settle me; coming to see my parents isn't something I feel nervous about. I still feel sad. I'll never get over the grief of losing them so early, especially when I think of everything they missed: my high school graduation, my college graduation, me getting married, having kids.
All of it.
But there's something else that lingers tonight. Something… more.
I quicken my pace as I approach the gates, desperate to leave before something bad happens, when I see him. The cloud that feels like it's been hanging over my head all day lifts, and I feel lighter, less weighed down, somehow. I can't help the small smile that spreads across my lips.
He's walking toward me with purpose, his whole body rigid, his hands gesturing in front of him, and his head down. Part of me likes that he's maybe talking himself into approaching me. That he feels as drawn to me as I am him. My body goes on high alert, and my smile widens at the sight of him.
I slow down and let him make his way to me, remembering how freaked he'd been when I spoke to him first. Now we've passed that barrier he seems a little more relaxed about talking to me. The memory makes me giggle, the sound reaching him and making him look up at me.
"Something funny?" he calls as he ups his pace, breaking into a slow jog.
I shake my head. "No, just remembering something."
He's panting slightly as he stops in front of me, his smile wide and dazzling. "Good memories?" He shakes his head, droplets of rain going in all directions.
I'm mesmerized by him. The way his smile reaches his eyes, making them crinkle at the edges. The way his gaze roams me, waiting for my reply like it's the most important thing to him.
I nod, my grin matching his. "Yeah. Good memories."
I don't know much about him. I don't really know anything about him. All I know is he's lost someone. I don't know who he comes to visit, or how they died, but he's here almost as much as I am, so I know they must have been very close.
He doesn't offer the information, and I don't ask. If he's like me, he'll talk when he's ready.
We continue walking toward the exit, nothing but silence between us. We walk close together, leaving the tiniest gap between us, and I have to shove my hand in my pocket to keep myself from reaching for his.
Is it silly I'm this attracted to someone so quickly?
When we get to the fork in the path, I turn to face him, gesturing in my direction. "I guess I'll..."
He nods. "Yeah." He shifts on his feet as if he wants to ask me to something.
And I don't know what it is, but I want him to ask me.
When the silence turns awkward, I try to put him out of his misery. "Umm—"
"Wait… wait, Bella." I turn around. "Would you like to get some coffee?"
ooOoo
Edward gives me the directions to a coffee shop not too far from the cemetery, and I meet him there. It takes me longer to park, and I find him waiting at one of the tables by the window.
"I thought it would be nice if we got to know each other." He smiles nervously, gripping his coffee. "You know instead of just 'hi' here and there."
I nod. "I agree."
Silence fall between us, and I'm at a loss of things to say to him. Do we talk about why we visit so much? Who we're visiting? Or is that too personal so soon?
Or is it perfect for us?
He decides for me. "I come to visit my sister."
My gaze meets his, and I'm met with the same grief deep in his eyes that I see in my own every time I look in the mirror. "I'm sorry."
"I come to visit my parents." I take a deep breath, willing the tears away. They fall anyway.
His face softens. Normally I hate the look people give me when I tell them. All the 'I'm sorries,' or 'I understand what you're going through.' They don't, and I hate that they think they do. It's nothing but pity; I don't need it and I don't want it.
But with Edward it's different. He understands.
"Was it sudden?" he asks, and I nod.
"Alice too. Sometimes I still can't believe she's gone. We were arguing—I can't even remember what about really, something stupid I think." He shakes his head and takes a sip of his coffee. "She stormed out. An hour later I received a visit from the police—she'd skidded through a red light."
I gasp, leaning back in my seat. "She died in a car accident?"
He scrunches his eyes closed. "Yes," he whispers. "Ten years ago tonight."
His POV
I see her as she arrives at the cemetery, but something keeps me from going to her. I can see the tears from where I stand; she looks so lost, so... alone. Anything I say or do will only be intruding. As much as I want to be a source of comfort to her, I know better than most people how much she will want to be alone. I know how precious these moments are, and no matter how good anyone's intentions are, they won't be able to help. As a grumble of thunder sounds in the distance, I know no matter how bad the weather is going to get, she won't be leaving until she's ready.
Instead, I take shelter under a large tree and wait. Today I realize something I should've realized a long time ago; something my parents, my friends, have been telling me for years. Life is too short. Having Alice taken from us so soon, so suddenly, and far too quickly made them see this. I just took a little longer. And when I say goodbye to Alice today, I decide if I see Bella I will do more than smile and say hi, I will ask her to go for coffee.
The rain is light, much lighter than it was when I arrived earlier, but the air still feels heavy, like it can change at any moment. I don't think I'll ever look at days like these the same way ever again. The dark clouds always appear in the distance, and then they seem to follow us. Creeping, faster and faster, until they're here and the skies open. I hate them. I hate everything they resemble. Every memory they cause.
And I hate that I'll never escape them.
The fear will always be there; any time I have to go somewhere in weather like this. Even now, part of me wants to run to my car, and go home before the heavier rain comes back again. The dread is constant, settling in my stomach, lingering, until I make it home.
I look over in the direction of Alice's grave. My parents are there now, going later than they normally do, knowing I wanted to go alone earlier in the day. I yelled, screamed, and cried until there was nothing left. Today always hurts more than the other days. The memories a little fresher, the cuts a little deeper. I focus on trying to remember the good times we shared, instead of the bad memories that force their way forward, occupying every thought I have. As the darkness lifts, I feel myself look for Bella. Although my time at the grave is private, I want to see her. To see someone who knows. Knows how I'm feeling, who knows what I'm going through and why I still feel the need to yell, even after all this time.
My thoughts are interrupted when a movement from the corner of my eye catches my attention, and I turn to see Bella walking slowly back to her car. Her jacket is a shade darker than when she arrived and looks to be stuck to her clothes, thanks to the rain, which although light is still persistent. All of a sudden, she glances down and walks faster, and I know if I don't ask her now, I never will.
I take a deep breath and walk toward her, my head down against the growing wind. "You can do this," I mumble. "It's just coffee."
Her soft laughter makes me look up and I find her watching me. The nerves settle a bit, replaced with something I can't put my finger on yet… but I like it.
"Something funny?" I ask as I pick up my pace.
She's still smiling, and it makes me smile. "No, just remembering something."
"Good memories?"
I shake my head, cringing when droplets of rain hit her, although her smile tells me she either doesn't notice or doesn't care. I can't help but stare; the way she's smiling at me, her eyes bright and alert, a polar opposite of the girl I saw arrive earlier.
She nods, answering my question. "Yeah. Good memories."
I want to know about the memories; who they're about, why they make her smile. But something stops me, knowing if she wants to tell me she will. As stunning as her smile is, there's something behind it, though; something which tells me she's experienced the kind of hurt I have.
I struggle to find the words as we walk toward the exit. The air between us feels different somehow. Even in the dampness from the lingering rain it's intense and I have to shove my hands in my pockets to keep from taking her hand in mine as I want to. I don't know what it is about this woman that has me on such a high frequency; I'm almost vibrating for her touch.
The gates appear quicker than I want, and I rack my mind trying to think of something to say. How I can ask her for coffee instead of letting her leave.
"I guess I'll…"
"Yeah…" No!
"Umm—"
"Wait… wait, Bella. Would you like to get some coffee?"
ooOoo
I arrive at the coffee shop first, waiting in my car until she pulls up behind me. Once I know it's Bella, I wait at the front door of the shop for her.
I can tell she's nervous by the way she approaches me. As though she wanted to say yes to me, but she's maybe doubting herself. She holds herself differently, wrapping her arms around her waist as if protecting herself from me.
I hold the door for her, and let her pick where we're sitting before I go and order for us. It's quiet due to the time of the night and I'm served quickly.
"I thought it would be nice if we got to know each other." I wrap my hands around my coffee, hoping the warmth will spread soon. "You know instead of just 'hi' here and there."
"I agree."
I hate the silence which falls between us, but I know why it's there. There's an elephant in the room, and if we're to overcome it, one of us needs to make the first move. I figure I asked her here, so I should be the one to go first.
"I come to visit my sister."
The words still hurt as they come out, but I'm glad I've told her.
"I'm sorry." When I look at her I don't see the sympathy I see in others, I see understanding.
She takes a shaky breath, a few silent tears falling, and I know she's about to open up to me. "I come to visit my parents."
She looks so upset, as if she's still trying to come to terms with it. And I have a feeling it's not something she was given time to wrap her head around beforehand. I know how much that hurts, and I hate she's experienced it. While she wipes away her tears, I wish I could comfort her in some way, help her in some way.
"Was it sudden?"
She sniffs and nods, wiping her sleeve under her eyes.
"Alice, too," I offer. "Sometimes I still can't believe she's gone. We were arguing—I can't even remember what about really, something stupid about a party, I think." I shake my head and take a sip of my coffee. "She stormed out. An hour later I received a visit from the police—she'd skidded through a red light."
I hear her gasp, and watch as her pale skin turns almost gray-like. "She died in a car accident?" Her voice is a whisper, as if it was a struggle to say the words.
"Yes," I whisper. "Ten years ago tonight."
She pushes her chair back, the scraping noise echoing throughout the quiet cafe. "I...I…" She stands up, almost knocking the table as she does, before she sits back down.
"Bella." I half-stand, holding the table before it falls over, and then sitting when she does.
"What… Did I say something?"
She looks as though she's seen a ghost. She's shaking her head, her wide eyes on me, but I can tell she's not actually seeing me. She's covered with a slight sheen of sweat, her hands shaking as she wraps them around her half-empty coffee. Her eyes glance to the door and then back to me, as if she's preparing to bolt.
"I'm a good listener, Bella. I can help. Even if you just want to—"
"My parents died ten years ago tonight. In a car crash. They were driving home when… when..." Her words are rushed, and cut off by a sob. She looks down at the table, but closes her eyes, scrunching them tightly closed as if trying to push out the images I know are dancing behind them. She opens them, looking at me, the hurt… the despair palpable as it fizzes between us.
Her words leave something lingering between us. Something that causes my heart to quicken, and not in the good way. Her eyes go between watching me, her coffee, and the door, and I know she feels it, too.
There was only one big car crash in the city that night. It made headlines for weeks: closed roads, emergency services on the scene for hours, and two families impacted by the loss.
I force myself to look at her. She's already watching me with a wary look on her face. She knows; she's just waiting for me to say it.
"Your parents died in a car crash? Ten years ago? Tonight?"
"Yes," she whispers.
Memories of that night flash through my mind like a movie played in slow motion. The argument we'd had before she stormed out. The thunder and lightning making the lights flicker in the house; the pounding on the door so loud it still haunts my dreams. And how I felt like I was moving in slow motion to the door, the feeling of foreboding dominating everything.
How everything went blurry as they told me.
Accident, they'd said.
Dead at the scene, they'd said.
Don't worry, she wouldn't have felt a thing.
Everything goes fuzzy, and I have to rest my head on my hands as it all comes rushing back; my memories swirling around with Bella's words. It all makes sense — no matter how much I don't want it to. I can feel Bella watching me, her unasked questions lingering between us. I want to tell her I still understand, but now, I don't know if I do.
Finally, after what feels like an eternity, she breaks our silence.
"Your sister was the one who went through the red light."
It's not a question. But she wants me to say it. She needs that confirmation.
I nod, before whispering the answer.
"I have to go."
I don't even look up. Not when I hear her chair scrape back, the bell above the door ring, or the door slam.
The silence is deafening.
ooOoo
Welp! Guys, sorry – go enjoy last week's chapter again… My bad.
Fic Rec – Marked by LyricalKris - Everyone is born with a unique tattoo. Whenever they fall in love, no matter the circumstances, that person's tattoo appears somewhere on their body. It's not such an easy thing to wear your heart on your skin. After all, love comes as she pleases. Unrequited. Uninvited. Undeniable.
