Finally, the return of To Reign In Hell! :D Took long enough, I know…T.T

Also…I already knew how this ended when I started it, but I think you guys'll be happy to know I actually got an outline down this morning for everything that's left(which I've never done for a fic before, but I wanted to make sure I everything in the right order timewise, lol), and we're really not too far away from the end…and also, one of the scenes I had in mind when I first started writing this story is coming up in a chapter or two, so I'm excited about that. ^^


Outside of St. Louis, Cas pulled into a diner. Dean had fallen asleep in the passenger seat, and he woke to Cas' hand on his shoulder, shaking him awake.

"Mm? Yeah?"

"Get up if you want to eat."

There was definitely no doubt about that. He sat up quick, blinking a little to get his bearings before opening the door and pulling himself out of the car. Cas was already inside, in a booth near the back corner he could see from the window. Inside he took the seat across from him, smiling at the waitress that stepped up to greet them.

" 'Evening. What can I do for you gentlemen?"

"Well, I can think of a few things." Flirting rolled off of his tongue as easy as breathing, and a natural reaction he'd never been able to control even when they'd really been together before. It had bothered Cas sometimes, he knew, but he'd always been faithful and deep down Cas had known he'd meant nothing by it, even if he had felt the need to remind Dean where his priorities were if a particular woman seemed too interested. It had never been an issue, really, and that combined with the fact that just a few hours ago Cas had seemed incredulous at the idea of him being jealous over Dean screwing some chick in an alley, the last thing he would've expected was for Cas to be bothered by this.

Still, unmistakable anger flashed in his eyes, dark and just short of violent, and even though it could be nothing but a good sign, Dean almost shivered. Cas caught her eyes, and even though his didn't burn orange Dean could tell that something about him tipped her off enough to make her uneasy, not that she'd ever realize why. "Black coffee for both us. You can handle that?"

She stammered a little, finally getting a yes out before she turned away and all but scampered off toward the kitchen.

Dean leaned back in the booth, laying one arm across the back of the seat. "Really?"

Cas glanced up quick, his eyes cutting back down to his menu. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh you don't, huh? I don't know, maybe the 'I can kill you with my mind' stare you just gave that poor girl?"

He shrugged, eyes still scanning over the menu, looking relaxed and bored. "Still don't know what you're talking about."

"Right." It was dripping with sarcasm, but really he couldn't have been more pleased. Possessiveness could only mean that Cas was at least interested enough in him to want to keep Dean as his. That was promising. All in all, things were looking up. He sat sideways in the seat, leaning against the wall and pulling one leg up to rest his arm across his knee. "So before I fell asleep I was checkin' out the map we got at that gas station awhile back, and it looks like there's this place called Meramec Caverns a ways out from here." Cas looked up at that and Dean shrugged. "It's worth a look, while we're in the area. We might as well."

Cas slid the menu shut, leaned across the table on his elbows to study Dean closer. "The fact that you mentioned it tells me we don't need to. It's empty."

"Or I'm bluffing." They stared each other down steadily, the moment only broken when the waitress returned to set two cups of coffee down between them. Cas shook his head, breaking the connection to pick up his coffee.

"If you weren't useful, I'd kill you for being such a pain in the ass."

"So you keep saying." He pushed his luck a little, smirking before he took a drink from his own cup. He watched Cas raise his to his lips, fought the urge to grin wider when he made a face and pulled away, setting it down. "First time tryin' coffee this time around, huh?"

He scowled at it, pushing it away and ignoring the question.

"Wrong time for it, for you."

"I seriously doubt it would taste any better in the morning."

Dean laughed, real and open. "Well, that depends on what we do before the morning." He took another drink of his own cup, still smiling. "Trust me, Cas, you like coffee. Just under different circumstances, and more dressed up than this. You're more like Sam, in that respect." He dragged the menu away from Cas without asking, tried not to smile at the fact that Cas didn't try to take it back. "So, we going?"

He hesitated before he nodded, one hand tapping impatiently against the table. "Alright. We'll check it out."

"Excellent." He glanced over the diner food briefly, spun the menu back to Cas across the table without paying much attention. "Think I want extra bacon." Cas huffed impatiently, and for just awhile, everything felt almost like home.


Cas kicked the door shut behind himself, scowling.

"Oh c'mon, you don't have to be such a dick about it. Least this way you know for sure."

Castiel shoved past him hard enough to knock him into the wall, but it wasn't near as violent as it could've been. "I could still kill you."

"I hope you know that gets less threatening every time you say it."

Cas tossed his bags down on top of the low dresser, muttering about wasting time. Still, Dean had seen him angry, and this wasn't it. Annoyed, sure, but he wasn't full blown demon pissed, and Dean wasn't worried. He flipped back onto the bed, groaning as he bounced against the stiff mattress. He'd gotten way too used to actually sleeping comfortably in Heaven. Motel beds sucked, but considering he'd grown up on them he'd never really noticed that before. It was sometime after 3 in the morning and he was pretty damn exhausted, and he just barely bothered to kick off his boots before he slid under the comforter, curling onto his side to face the wall.

He felt the bed sink as Cas sat down beside him, a somewhat fresh whiskey bottle in one hand and the remote in the other. Dean sighed, rolled over and his back and nudged Cas in the side, carefully. "You really gonna do this?"

"As opposed to…?"

"Sleep. You know, actually shutting down for a few a damn hours."

"I don't-"

"Well you did. C'mon, it's a human indulgence, that's gotta be right up your alley, right? I mean, you guys are all for whatever pleasure you can grab and after a long day, sleep feels pretty damn good, I promise." At first he was pretty sure he wasn't going to listen and he rolled back over, resigned.

A few minutes later he heard the TV shut off, the mattress creaking as Cas slid down in the bed, settling in and facing away from him without a word.


Dean practically tackled him onto the bed, breath rushing out of his chest as he landed underneath him. Dean's lips were on his before he could take a proper breath, and by the time Dean took a break from fucking his mouth with his tongue he felt just a little dizzy.

He burned everywhere Dean's body pressed his to the bed, a pure, strong current underneath his skin. Dean's mouth trailed down, wet and almost obscenely hot against neck, and he could hear the low rasp to his voice when he gasped Dean's name.

"Fuck, Cas…" Dean groaned, already thrusting against him, his teeth catching on soft skin as he panted against his ear. "Goddamit…" They were nowhere near naked, and when Dean reached between them to pull their shirts up and push their jeans down, Cas could feel his hands shake.

"Dean…" Dean rubbed his thumbs across his hipbones, just barely yanked his jeans down enough to free his hard length. It sprang up against his stomach, and Dean made a desperate sound low in his throat when he felt the tip brush against his skin, his hips thrusting forward in response. To say his desperation was distracting wouldn't have come close to describing it, but he did his best to force out a coherent sentence anyway, his hands coming up to try and hold Dean still, for a moment. "Dean, I'm sorry, I-"

"Never doin' that to me again, you understand me?" The words were hot and low against his skin, wavering, and Dean pushed his shirt up higher, one sweaty palm pressing shakily over his heart. "He was sayin' you were dead, and you wouldn't answer me, and…Jesus, Cas, you are never-"

He was still a little helpless against the sudden onslaught of Dean all over him like that but he pulled himself together enough to take Dean's face in his hands, kissing him into silence. He couldn't stand to hear the panic in his voice anymore, and he shut his eyes and lost himself in the near violence of the way Dean returned his kiss. It had been Sam's idea, making the creature think he was dead so thoroughly that it wouldn't suspect him coming. It could've read the answer out of Dean's mind so he couldn't know, Sam had argued, and at the time the logic had seemed sound. Here, with Dean literally coming apart in his arms, he regretted ever going along with it. They broke apart and he arched his neck in invitation, moaning quietly when Dean attacked the exposed skin voraciously, all tongue and nipping teeth.

"Dean…'m sorry…I'm so sorry, Dean, I-"

"Stop." He felt the vibration of the word against his skin, let Dean tug his arms up over his head and pin his wrists to the bed with one hand, shifting to squarely blanket his body. Dean's other arm hooked under his back, gripping against his shoulderblade, and he leaned his weight on it as he thrust against him, rough and erratic, curses slipping out under his breath.

He'd done this, hurt Dean so deeply he'd nearly broken him, and he should've known better. After everything they'd been through, Dean couldn't survive losing either of them, not now. He should've been sick with guilt and he could feel it coming, under the surface. For the moment, he didn't have room for anything else but was happening now, for the way Dean was grinding against him like he'd die if he didn't. They didn't always take things slow by any means, but even so Dean had never taken him like this, dominating and frantic. Dean was all over him, his grip tight against his wrists, and it was all a thousand times hotter than he would've ever imagined.

He came with a sharp cry, his body shuddering and going limp, the high so intense he was sure for a second he came close to blacking out…

Castiel sat up with a gasp, his hands pressing to his temples to stave off the instant throbbing headache. He'd known the visions were growing more powerful, steadily more prominent and effecting, but this was the most jarring yet. Even if the flash headache he'd startled awake with hadn't been enough to tell him it wasn't just a dream, everything else would have.

He could still feel the desperation he'd had in the vision, the guilt and the worry and the clawing insatiable hunger for the man who was now still asleep next to him. Not to mention something else, a foreign heavy weight of fierce protectiveness that had settled in his chest when Dean's hands had shaken against his skin, jumbled thoughts of 'love you so much, so sorry Dean, I'm so sorry' accompanying it.

It was all still with him, fraying his nerves and clamoring in his head for attention and it was too much, a rush of information and emotion that he no reference for, no ability to understand. At least, not that he could remember. It was far too much, and rather than try to sort it out or push it away he acted on it, turning to Dean and yanking his body close, trapping his wrists in one hand to pin over his head.

Dean jolted awake, struggled instinctively against his hold before he realized his wrists were bound tight, shoved back close to the headboard. He drew in a sharp breath, his chest heaving with something like fear a couple times before he got it under control. "And here I thought we were past all this. You want something, Cas, all you gotta do is ask." In the dark, he couldn't see Dean's eyes when he spoke but his voice was almost as rough and sleepy as it had been that first time he'd startled him awake, ringing now with just a little more bravado. If he'd learned anything about this man that hadn't come from his visions, it was that typically the stronger he sounded, the more he was masking.

Underneath it, he was probably afraid and Cas growled, angry with no clear direction. He bent his head and took his lips in a forceful kiss, Dean's mouth slack against his for a moment before he responded hungrily, teeth clicking hard together in their impatience. He kept his bruising grip on Dean's wrists, slid his right hand between them to take care of the unfastening their pants, jerking them down just low enough for their cocks to touch. He was rock hard already after the vision, and for a moment after he'd pulled his jeans down first he thought that he might be the only one. The minute he reached for Dean, though, he'd realized that wasn't going to be a problem. Dean was already half hard and swelling fast, his hips jerking up simply at the friction of pulling his pants down lower around his hips.

It wasn't perfect but it was close enough to allow skin on skin, and he brought his arm up to lean on, hooking it under Dean's back to curve against his shoulderblade, nails digging into his skin even through his t-shirt. They kept kissing as he thrust against him, messy and disorganized, his hips grinding harder at every sound Dean made. Even though he'd been hard already from the vision Dean came first, shooting hot against his stomach and moaning desperately into his mouth, the sound sharpening into a cry when Cas bit down hard on his lip, tasting blood as he thrust against him twice more and came, cock pulsing between them.

He rolled off of him immediately, flopping onto his back and panting, arm thrown over his eyes. The air in the motel room was cool and he could feel himself chilling as the thin sheen of sweat across him started to dry. He could hear Dean's equally uneven breath next to him, heavy in the silence.

"Cas…holy shit, Cas, what the hell was-"

"Shut up." The ravenous hunger he'd been left with after the vision seemed sated, no longer clawing somewhere just behind his ribs, and in the aftermath, he was more confused than ever.

He heard Dean swallow, his breath still ragged. "Cas? You ok, man?"

No. No, I'm going mad and it's all your fault. Even then, he didn't feel as angry as he should have. Something was very wrong, and he couldn't help but wonder if he maybe he shouldn't have been listening to Macchion closer all along. Something was happening to him, and at the moment he couldn't even focus his thoughts well enough be properly upset about that fact. "Just leave me alone. Go to sleep, Dean."

The mattress shifted, and he jerked back violently when he felt Dean's hand brush against his arm. "Sorry." His voice was small, a little wounded though it was plain he tried to hide it. "Sure you're ok?"

"I said go to sleep, dammit. I didn't wake you up to talk, did I? Trust me, that's not what you're good for." He lashed out easily, without a thought. That was more familiar, everything he was used to.

"No. You're right, you didn't." The springs creaked, and he heard the sounds of Dean zipping his pants up, pulling his boots on in the dark.

It annoyed it more than it should have, fury flaring hot in his chest. He clenched his fists until he felt blood run down to his wrists and he growled, angry and inhuman. "Running away again, Dean? You didn't seem so upset a few minutes ago. In fact, you-"

"Yeah, well a few minutes ago I thought I was having sex with somebody else. But I was wrong, and I'm goin' out. Got a problem with that, you can kiss my ass."

He did have a problem with that, but he was confused as all hell and he could've never put words to what exactly the problem was. He knew only that he didn't want Dean to go, not after that, but he couldn't tell him that. "You're very good at avoidance, Dean, you know that? You know, even if you are right about everything else, how'd we get here, hm? You run out on that too?"

In the dark he heard him coming before he felt it, Dean's hand closing with surprising force around his throat. "Don't you say that. Don't you dare." He collected himself quickly enough, yanking his hand back like it had shot forward without his permission. He could hear him take a few breaths to steady himself, accompanied by the sound of boots scuffing on cheap carpet. "You want me stay, you ask me, and I will. But whatever's goin' on with you, I'm sick of not talkin' about it and just dealing with your random outburst and you treating me like shit most of the rest of the time. And I'll take it from you, I will, and I think you know it, but right now, I gotta get outta here. Unless you ask me stay."

He stretched, rubbed his heels against his eyes. There was still a dull ache from the vision, and the pain sharpened under the pressure, almost nauseating.

Dean didn't wait too long. "Yeah. That's what I thought." He crossed to the door quickly after that, and this time he didn't slam it behind him. Somehow, that was worse.


When he woke up again, the headache was gone. Dean had pulled one of the flimsy plastic chairs over from the table by the window and he was sitting by the bed, drinking coffee and watching Cas sleep.

"You have any idea how fucking creepy that is?" His voice came out rough and he cleared his throat, blinking to clear his head. He honestly couldn't remember ever sleeping before, but Dean had been right. It was definitely a human pleasure, and it was nice. Waking up, on the other hand, he'd have rather skipped.

Dean laughed, soft, and a little bit of a real smile showed on his face. "Yeah, I do actually. You used to do it all the time." He ran a hand over the stubble on his cheek, tapped his thumb against the side of his cup before he sat it down, looking up to meet Castiel's eyes. "Look, I'm gonna just get this out pretty quick, so keep your mouth shut for a minute, huh?"

At this point, hearing him out could only give him more information. He said nothing, just drew one knee up to his chest to rest his arm on, waiting for Dean to continue.

"Right. Well first off, I'm sorry. I left, and pretty much right after I wished I hadn't done it, but I was already out and drivin' and I didn't want to come back empty handed so…" He gestured at the cups on the nightstand, looking down. "It's just like…5:30 or something like that here. Only been gone an hour or so, couldn't really stay away. Here." He picked up the other cup, turned it in his hand a minute before holding it out. "See, there's this whole 'cigarettes are awesome after sex' thing that so many people seem to buy into, but you were more of a post-sex coffee drinker than smoker, cause you just had do everything ass backwards." He smiled a little, remembering, and he held the cup out a little farther. "Go on, take it, you'll like it I promise. They don't make your favorite anymore apparently but I think this is close. Something like the one Sam always liked, at least."

Whether he liked it or not, it couldn't hurt. He took it slowly, wrapped his hand around the cup and took a drink, a little surprised at how good it tasted, how nice the warmth was in the back of throat. He licked his lips, his grip on the cup tightening in frustration. "You don't know everything about me, Dean."

Dean nodded, careful. "No, you got me there. I don't know everything about you, Cas. You told me a few stories but I don't really know what your life was like as angel, and even having been there myself I don't know exactly what you went through in hell. But I still know you pretty damn well, and you know what else?" Their eyes met, and he could see the spark of Dean's eyes. "I think you're remembering. Really remembering, and I think you know it now, too. And maybe it scares the shit out of you, and that's ok, but you sure as hell know something, cause all of that last night? I'm pretty damn sure something almost just like that happened in Washington, Louisiana a long time ago, after you and Sam tricked me and that thing we think was a Kobold into thinkin' you were dead, and I came pretty close to goin' crazy until I found out you were ok. But I think you know that, don't you? You remember, I know you do. And I shouldn't've left last night, I know, I just wanted you to tell me the truth, and when you didn't…" He shook his head, looking down at his hands. "I'm not used to stuff like this, Cas. We never fought much but when we did, I could kinda do the same thing, get away for awhile. It was always that way with Sammy, too. I'd want a little space from him for all of five minutes but it never lasted. I'd always come back, and that goes for this too. It's just…this is just hard for me, you know?"

Up until then he'd actually been listening, realizing that yeah, maybe he wasn't gonna make heads or tails of everything that had forced its way into his head until he told Dean what he'd seen, asked him for more of what he knew. That last bit, though, had been enough to spark his temper. "This is hard for you?" He laughed, let the coffee drop and shoved himself to his feet, catching Dean's collar and yanking him up with him. "I don't automatically tell you every goddamn thing, and you think that makes this hard for you?" He shoved him back hard, enough that he ended up more than an arms length away, though he managed to stay on his feet. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe I didn't want to know?"

Dean stood his ground, undaunted. "So I'm right. You are remembering."

"And what if I am?!" His voice rose, loud and angry and echoing. "What the hell difference do you think it makes, Dean? Do you really think that me remembering whatever we were before is going to make any real difference now? You said it yourself last night, Dean…the man you're thinking of, he's someone else."

Dean stepped up to him, refusing to leave an inch between them even when Castiel grappled with him, tried without much force behind it to push him away. "That's not true, Cas, you're right here, dammit! Look, it's hard, I can't imagine how hard, but once you start remembering some of it, then-"

"That, that right there is your problem! What did you think was going to happen, hm? I remember and I'm suddenly washed clean? It doesn't work that way, you idiot! I'm…" He choked on it a little, everything that had been banging around in his head unspoken for the last day or so finally coalescing into words. "I'm a monster. I'm a monster, and I was ok with that. For what I've become, what I am I need to have nothing else, to remember nothing else. Because this, whatever you're doing to me…" He clenched his fist, furious, felt the room shake with his anger. "It's not natural, and it's not helping, and the man I keep seeing myself as, it's not who I am. Not anymore."

He was watching carefully enough to see Dean flinch at that, just a little, but he hid it quick, and by the time he looked up at Cas his eyes were carefully guarded. "Maybe not yet, but you can be. And you will, I know that. I know it. Just like I know pissed you are right now, you're still not gonna kill me."

That much was true, at least. He had been affected, but only enough to make himself miserable. Still, that was one of the side effects of all of this insanity. He was sure that even if he tried, he wouldn't be able to kill Dean, not now. If he'd done it in the beginning he'd have managed fine, but now…

"Macchion was right about you. You're going to destroy me."

His eyes softened at that, too much genuine emotion for him to see without feeling sick. "No, I'm not, Cas. I'm gonna take you home."

"Even if I can't kill you, he could."

"Well, that's a risk I'm willing to take."


By the time they stopped for lunch in Quincy, Illinois, it seemed like Cas was going to pretend they'd never talked about it at all. It wasn't ideal, but Dean supposed it was better than him dwelling on it. he was definitely sure they'd fight about it again, soon in all likelihood, but for the moment things were quiet, and he was grateful for that. No matter how angry Cas was, this was incredible progress, and it seemed like his brain couldn't decide whether to be ecstatically happy at the thought that this just might work after all or to be terrified of the fact that he was essentially walking on eggshells. Whatever tentative something he was building with Cas was fragile as all hell, and he knew beyond all doubt if at any moment he pushed too hard, the whole thing was likely to cave in on him. He needed to keep pushing, sure, but so carefully.

He was watching, waiting, trying to be ready to judge when something might go wrong so he could be ready to deal with it before it got too bad. It was for that reason that he was able to see danger coming just before it hit, but it was nothing he ever could've avoided.

They were eating out a picnic table by the cars, burgers with double meat and extra cheese and chocolate shakes, and for a few minutes Cas seemed almost as relaxed as he had been the day before, slipping into telling Dean some story about a woman whose child he'd helped steal on behalf of Moloch.

The change in him was sudden, Cas' eyes blazing orange, narrowing to study the woman that had just stepped into the parking lot. His whole body went instantly tense, and before he even knew what was going on Dean felt the sick sweep of dread settle into his stomach. He wasn't tense in fear, not at all. He looked more a mirror of a birddog that's just sighted prey, and that meant nothing good.

Dean cut his eyes to the side, a litany of curses starting up in his head when he realized the woman who'd frozen stock still in the parking lot was looking at Cas almost exactly the same way he was at her. "Cas? What's-"

They both lunged forward at the same time, and Dean barely had time to realize he was flying through the air, too. His back connected hard with a nearby maple tree, an invisible force keeping him there, pressed into the bark and apparently out of the line of fire. Or, just unable to get the way. Which it was supposed to have been, he wasn't certain, though he honestly didn't want to know.

He watched, helpless, as they clashed in the center of the parking lot. Her wings flared from her shoulders suddenly, cream and white and magnificent in the sunlight. The noise Cas made then was feral, evil, and Dean watched as he rolled his shoulders, flexing the muscles. They were there, then, the things that his wings should've been. There was nothing more left now than jagged bone, snapped off close to the joint. An all too vivid picture came to mind then of just how that could've happened, and in his head he could hear Cas scream as his wings were ripped from him. He bit his tongue and tasted iron, clenched his eyes shut tight when he heard the girl scream the first time.

When he heard Cas cry out, he couldn't keep from looking any longer. He watched as they fought, equal parts mesmerized and horrified by Cas' power. The angel was strong, no mistake about that, and she managed to get Cas in a headlock once or twice, white light burning bright from her fingers as she tried to burn him out of existence. Every time he twisted away, seeming almost entirely unscathed. He fought like a wild thing, all brute force and violence, and when he finally wrestled her blade from her hand and ran her through with it, Dean wasn't surprised.

He stabbed her in the stomach, holding it in place and watching her stammer a moment before he let go, his hands wet with blood when he turned away. A horrified crowed was pressed up against the window panes inside, watching, and in the distance Dean could hear sirens. The police would be here any minute.

The pressure on his chest released him and he fell to the ground, coughing a few times before he could take a true full breath. Cas came over slow, and before he looked up he could see the blood dripping into the grass. When he spoke it was ice cold, the voice of the demon Cas had seen in the first cave with Macchion back when this had all started.

"Either get up and come with me, or stay the hell out of my way."


Ok, so I lied. I did change the timeline, a bit. BUT I think it works better this way(and no, I won't explain it any more clearly than that at the moment, lol).

This chapter was lots and lots of fun, largely because 3 of these were scenes I've been dying to write since the first day I started working on this story. *is very happy*

Sorry it's been so long, but I hope this at least a little made up for the wait!