A/N: Right I'm doing this chapter purely out of boredom, insanity, curiosity and… meanness (yes I'm feeling devious, I'm putting off my English essay what else can I do? I using my time wisely, putting in a few cliff-hangers). This is going to be the 'calm before the storm' and I have a soft spot for Alice, to quote 'Everyone loves Alice'. I'm keeping this light-hearted because I'm listening to dance music/ Elliot Minor/ Aly & AJ/ OneRepublic and have eaten exactly 89 Tic-Tacs, I can't manage serious story-lines. Thanks again to all of the wonderful, talented, smart readers and reviewers (cough I crave your reviews coughcough) and thanks to my best friends in the entire universe XxCaptainAxX and AccidentProneAsBella (Aimee, I am not marrying Aro or Charlie in your crazy fan-fic. I refuse to give you the rights to use me in your creative evilness). One last thing that I just realized, this is one long A/N, sorry people!

Disclaimer: I own the books Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse, but sadly they are written by Stephenie Meyer

Alice's POV

101 Things To Do Before The Reception

Make sure everyone is in the right cars.

Make sure Jasper does nothing to his suit i.e. ripping it, pouring hot sauce on it, hunting with it on, breathing on it etc…

Make sure Jasper does nothing to Edward's suit i.e. ripping it, pouring hot sauce on it, hunting with it on, breathing on it etc…

Make sure Jasper does nothing to Bella's wedding dress i.e. ripping it, pouring hot sauce on it, hunting with it on (it could happen), breathing on it etc…

Make sure Jasper behaves himself

Make sure Emmett behaves himself and all of the above with his name inserted into obvious places. (Extra caution with the dress, we never know what could happen after his cotillion incident. BAD IMAGES)

Make sure that Bella arrives in time.

Make sure that Bella comes to my room for emergency make-up reapplication and dress fixing.

Make sure Bella doesn't FALL OVER!

….

This was the sixth-hundredth and fifty-first time that I had gone over the plan, and the driver hadn't even started the car yet. Edward was fuming after Jasper's little comment but Bella seemed to be perked up by it. Unfortunately, they had made their decision about how to spend their wedding night and every time they thought about it, I had to relive accurate visions of what will happen. Newsflash: Seeing your brother naked is not a pretty sight. At least we know he's not asexual, that's one good thing.

I darted my eyes back to the window and spotted the guests slowly pouring into the cars. I was silently ordering them to move faster and Edward shot me a bemused expression.

'Why don't you just go out and help them in yourself?'

I knew that it was a rhetorical comment but my hand still slid over to open the door. Jasper sighed and went back to calming the car, the atmosphere was a little impatient. Bella giggled and reached over for Edward's hand, pulling herself to his side, as if they weren't attached at the hip already. Edward's lips pulled up into a smile and he reached over to cradle Bella's face in his hands.

'OH MY GOD! Control your desires man!'

Jasper covered his ears and banged his head off the headrest violently.

'And if I can't?…'

Edward was holding Bella in some sort of trance. His eyes held hers and there was a definite desire in them. He was still holding her face in one hand but his other shot around her waist pulling her nearly on top of him. Bella was embarrassed, but giggled all the same.

'Don't mind us.'

I mumbled the words as both myself and Jasper averted our eyes to the guests once more.

'Gladly.'

My mouth opened in shock. Edward. My brother Edward, willing to make-out with his new wife with us less than two feet away from him, in the same air space!

Jasper groaned and my eyes filled with images that I wished never to see again.

'STOP THAT NOW! EDWARD CULLEN, IS THIS HOW YOU TREAT YOUR SISTER?!'

I was glaring at him, but my eyes were blocked from reaching his face by Bella's back. I could see her trying to disentangle herself but the stubborn jackass held tight. Bella's face turned slightly as she looked down to pull his hand from her waist. She was bright red. I decided that she needed help.

I reached over and threw Edward's arms against the sides of the car, pulling Bella out from his grasp. I slid her over into my seat and I took hers. She looked at me with a expression of both thanks and annoyance. Edward just sat there glaring at me.

'Well, I'm not just going to sit here and watch you recall bad images to my brain. First time, hilarious. Two-hundredth, nasty.'

I went back to my 101 Things To Do List as the car started. Finally, we were on our way.

'As if you and Jasper have never put me through that trauma before.'

Edward's voice was low and seething. I couldn't rememb-. Oh crap. Oh my God! He was there?! I chanced a quick look at Jasper and seen him glancing nervously at a piece of the floor. This cannot be happening. I groaned and Edward went back to being Mr Smug.

I looked at Bella again and seem her throwing quick, pleading looks towards Edward. He caught me looking and stared pointedly. I gave up and gave Bella back her seat. They went back to holding hands and looking into each other's eyes. If it wasn't for the fact that I had a million and one things to do (not joking on the slightest, that's the minimal number), I would have enjoyed watching something so mushy. My luck was that I wanted to throw up. I continued to stare at the church that was slowly growing smaller and smaller. I was on item no. 608 when I got another vision.

A bright room filled with tables. Expensively decorated. Door opens and…

The rest was foggy. I looked at Edward and he stared back until I looked away. Bella was getting too perspective, we needed to be more careful around her.

Do you think it's serious?

I noticed him out of the corner of my eye, running his head along Bella's neck in a side to side motion. A no.

Will we need to be careful?

This time he nodded curtly as he drew back. A yes.

I debated what we could do and my never ending list shot up to a million and four hundred things to do. I was checking through everything when I had another vision.

A bright room filled with tables. Expensively decorated. Door opens and Emmett walks in. He and Jasper are carrying a large wooden box. They go over to the main table and place the box underneath it before setting to work… A few minutes later, the room is filled with guests. Edward and Bella are at the main table after making their speeches. Edward stands up and…

'JASPER HALE!!!! Whatever you are planning to do, don't even think about it! This is my weddi- Edward and Bella's wedding, and you won't mess it up!'

I proceeded to pound my husband around the head as Edward laughed. He pulled away from Bella and nearly fell onto the floor. Bella stared at all of us and joined in laughing.

'What's going on?'

Edward straightened up and pulled my hands from Jasper's neck.

'Yes I would like to know why I am being decapitated.'

I sat back and let Edward deal with this one. I had more important matters to deal with, for example, should we play the traditional music first, or shuffle between modern and traditional?

'Well, you haven't done anything, yet. I have a feeling that Emmett will pull you over when we arrive and explain it to you. I think it involves me, a prank and some revenge. Oh and two tonnes of cocktail shrimp.'

Jasper looked bewildered for a moment before roaring.

'Cocktail shrimp?… He is… genius… pure psychotic… genius!!'

While Jasper rolled around the car, knocking into me several times, Edward dug out his phone from his jacket pocket. He quickly dialed the number and spoke into the receiver.

'Rose? I think that you have more reason to kill Emmett… It has something to do with a prank… cocktail shrimp… wait until there's no-one around… OK see all of you there.'

He flipped the phone down and went back to fawning over Bella. A brief vision flickered through my mind.

A bright room filled with tables. Expensively decorated. Door opens and…

I shook my head and went back to my list. I was beginning to tire of that one.

A dark room, three silhouetted figures. A deep moan of pain erupts from Emmett's throat…

I was too busy with my plans to think about the vision and Edward was too busy to care about anything. I felt sorry for Emmett, Rose could be bitch sometimes.