Author's Note: Thank you guys for sticking with me. This chapter is short and I'm hoping the next one will be longer. My work schedule makes it difficult to find time to write, but know that I'm thinking of you guys. Feel free to poke me on twitter. Have a beautiful day. :)
3 Betta
If I had to come up with a list of things I'd rather be doing then sitting here with my family I'd say eating my own eyeballs, getting my teeth drilled without anesthetic, or other tortures. I'm pretty sure a kitten dies every time my father opens his mouth.
"Tell me how your studies are coming Blaine."
"Good actually! I've been looking at possible internship opportunities and double majoring."
"Hopefully you'll pick a better alternate major than being just a teacher. Especially for some art elective. At least you could get work teaching piano to brats after school, though I'm not sure you'd get much work if you didn't conform to society's standards."
"Kevin..." my mother said softly. My only reprieve was when my mother used that tone usually. A soft sort of coaxing tone that told him to stop.
I tried to give my mother a soft look, my eyes showing my gratitude, but my father brushed her tender touch off.
"What ridiculous additional degree would I be paying for?"
Losing a bit of my nerve, a pit formed in my stomach, but I knew I had to stand up for this. "Performance actually."
Father rolled his eyes. "Of course. Constantly seeking approval only makes you seem more foolish, Blaine. Following in your brother's path will just-"
"I think that's lovely, Blaine. I miss hearing you sing. You should share it with the world."
Cooper looked over at us as scoffed. "It's a lot more than singing and dancing."
"Maybe you could take your brother out to an audition or something. Or to a rehearsal," Mommy said.
Father rolled his eyes and made a clucking noise in his throat, his sign of disapproval. Regardless, for the moment I was safe.
Thanksgiving came and went with awkward silences and more standing off between my father and I. Though I did have a little reprieve. Trent got into town Thursday morning and we went out for a while before dinner.
"How are you holding up?"
"All right," I responded smiling a little. "Mom's been coming to my defense. Cooper is actually being kind. Tonight and tomorrow the parents will be gone. I think I can hold out for a day or so."
"Good! And how's Kurt?"
The thought of Kurt made me smile bright and goofy as I ran a hand through my hair.
But before I could talk Trent started laughing. "It's written all over your face. You got it bad."
"What?" I asked.
"You are so into him. So what's the latest?"
The smile grew brighter on my face as I took a sip of coffee. "We've just been talking a lot. We're officially friends on Facebook."
"Is that right? Are you planning to meet this guy sometime?"
"Hopefully. We joked about doing it out here but we decided to wait until New York. I think it'd be better to meet there. Where it all began kind of."
"That's sweet. Aren't you nervous?"
"Nervous about what?"
"Well you guys have each other built up so much in your head. What happens when you meet and you're disappointed? Or he is?"
"I'd never be disappointed. I-"
But what about him? I hadn't thought of that. Look at me. I'm not much. I'm a tiny guy with an all right fashion sense and decent hair, well now that I've retired the gel anyway. What do I have to offer someone like Kurt? He's talented. He's a triple threat. He's strong and independent and going places. And I'm... Well my dad put it best. A poser with meaningless goals. The piano teacher to be. The wash up wannabe. What the hell was wrong with me thinking a guy like Kurt would want anything to do with a guy like me?
"Earth to Blaine," Trent said waving his hand in front of my face.
"Oh. Right. Sorry," I said, still distracted.
"You look like you're going to be sick."
Shaking my head I didn't want to tell Trent what I was really feeling. I didn't want to reveal all the doubts and insecurities that plagued me, especially when he was looking at me with those moony, sympathetic eyes.
"I'm all right," I said. A soft smile moved across my lips. "Did you bring Lee home to meet your family?"
"Yes! She's loving my mom and sister..."
I nodded and smiled, feigning interest and listening to him babble, but my heart just wasn't in it. Maybe that made me a bad friend, but internally I was fighting with my feelings and emotions. Chasing the demons away was often hard for me. My history had been sordid and wrought with self doubt. Between my family and the bullies in my life I didn't think much of myself. Remembering looking up, bloody and shaking, as those guys stood over me and spit on me was humiliating and gut wrenching. I learned the hard way to be careful about opening up, but something in me longed for affection and attention. I wanted to belong more than I wanted anything. And sometimes that led to bad decisions.
After some time Trent and I made to leave the little shop. As I walked back to my car though he called to me.
"Blaine," he said as he stepped close and squeezed my arm. "I hope you and Kurt work out. You deserve that. And he'd be lucky to have you. You're an amazing guy and friend. Don't be too hard on yourself, okay?"
Smiling a little I hugged him and clapped him on the back. "You're a good man, Trent. Go save your girlfriend from the kitchen."
A barking laugh rumbled from Trent as he squeezed me tight. "Take care of yourself buddy."
His last words really struck me as I got in my car. Take care of myself.
That was a lot easier said than done. I wanted to do exactly what he said, but it was hard. Most of the time I tried to keep myself invisible, like I could somehow just waste away. But lately I felt vivacious, like I should live and be active in life. Like maybe I had a story to tell and should put myself out there. Maybe I was destined for more than what people like my father had to say.
The rest of the day went by pretty quietly. My parents went out that night and wouldn't be back again until sometime Friday so naturally Cooper decided it would be the perfect time to take Blaine out drinking. Obviously he didn't get the memo that bad things happen when Blaine drinks. I tried to insist on being the designated driver, but Coop was having none of it.
"Are you trying to make me an alcoholic, Squirt? You know that I can't just drink alone."
With logic like that how could I say no?
"Don't let Dad get to you, Kiddo. There's a lot of life worth living. And if you want to follow in old Coop's footsteps you know I could hook you up. We could be like the Anderson Bros acting troupe or something."
Laughing out loud, I couldn't help but shake my head at my beloved infomercial star brother. "Right. I heard you had a walk-on role coming up."
"No way! It's better than that, little bro! I get to be a full on dead body on SVU. It's amazing! I get to be chased down and everything. I'm really looking forward to testing my chops."
A bright grin moved over my face as he carried on about his prospects. "I still think theater's where it's at."
"Well good. I don't need you stealing my auditions with your charm. You can take theater and I'll do Hollywood."
"Deal," I said as I smiled. Sometimes hanging with my protective and silly older brother was great, but sometimes it was hard, too. It made me miss what we could have if we were closer, both in distance and emotionally. My brother, forever the actor, knew exactly how to play my father. And sometimes that meant throwing me under the bus, or not jumping to my defense.
But it was Thanksgiving and getting to spend time with him like this was a nice change of pace. The real Cooper without the judgmental eyes of my father making him feel like he had to fill the role of the good son.
Unfortunately for me the whole wing man thing works out great when Cooper's laughing and carrying on, but when a busty blonde walks by he all but disappeared.
Alone. It was a common theme in my world. As I walked out into the cool dark, pulling my jacket tight around me in the cold night air. My breath formed in a small cloud as I headed out into the dark.
"You really shouldn't be wandering around at night like that. May give people the wrong idea."
The shackles on my neck rose as I turned and squinted into the shadows. The voice was simultaneously smooth and grating. Almost familiar.
"What idea? Never mind," I turned trying to shake the creepy feeling moving over me as I walked away, shaking my head trying to rid myself of the mysterious voice.
"Being out alone at night, walking away from a bar, home for the holidays with the inkling of nostalgia and disappointment. Sounds like the recipe for a bad hook up."
I scoffed and sped up, the steps behind me matching my pace. "Do you always hang out in shadows around dodgy bars at night waiting to accost passers by?"
"Only when they're really cute."
Stopping underneath the light I turned to face the man when my face fell for an instant. Of course. I didn't need to answer anything. A deep sigh left me before I could stop it and I rolled my eyes before stomping away through the trees.
"Now is that any way to greet a friend?"
"You're not my friend, Sebastian."
"Sure I am tiger. And I love what you've done with the hair. I could actually tangle my fingers in it and pull you up to arch into me. Though sad because it was like lube was always present."
Heat creeped into my cheeks as my fists clenched in my pockets. "You really know how to sweep someone off their feet."
"I do try. What do you say to going and getting some coffee? There's an all night diner up the road from here."
I scoffed and stopped before turning to look at him. "Look I'd really rather not."
"What's your problem, B? You're awfully skittish."
Really? What's my problem? Was he kidding me? "What's my problem? I haven't seen you for like a year and you think you can just bounce back into my life like some sort of booty call? You're sick, Sebastian."
A smirk moved across his face as he held his hands up. "Whoa. Easy killer. You're the one who took it there. Not me. So if you're wanting someone to shine your knob you're gonna have to look elsewhere. I mean I know I'm great but that's no reason to beg."
"Beg?!" I howled as my fists clenched beside my side. I wasn't begging. I wasn't... Everything about this conversation had me turned around backwards. Wes always told me my need to have the last word would get the best of me someday. You can't argue with an idiot he said. But did I listen? Do I ever?
No.
Instead in my semi drunken, quickly sobering, state I did the one thing I could think of.
I pushed Sebastian and got up in his face. "I don't know who you think you are, but I've been here for five minutes and I'm sick of it."
"Are you?" He asked.
Flustered and frustrated I fumed, but was at a complete loss for words as I racked my brain. Not that I'd have much chance for a rebuttal anyway.
Because with my hesitation Sebastian grabbed me behind the neck and pulled me, pressing his lips deep and hard and possessively to mine.
