PRODIGALS

NINE

True to John's word, she was a beautiful ship.

And brand spanking new. That probably explained the flakey grav plating, which wasn't the only wonky thing about her.

The bridge looked like it had been cobbled together at the last minute. The consoles were blinky-bright-shiny-new but the crews' chairs were beat up old pieces of shit that had been bolted to the floor without much careful consideration for their location or their condition. There were loose cables hanging from the ceiling and some of the floor tiling was missing, exposing more cabling below deck. It was a bizarre juxtaposition, but one that Jack found mostly – not entirely – amusing.

The crews' quarters were similarly junky: old mattresses, partially plumbed fixtures. It was like the ship itself was an engineer's wet-dream, but the human accoutrements were mere afterthoughts.

After they'd sat themselves down at the bridge's science station, Jack inhaled deeply, enjoying that wonderful "new ship" smell; then he looked at John. "What's her name?" he asked.

"Eh, she doesn't have one – there wasn't time. I just call her 'Ship'."

"Ship?"

"Yeah, here – like this: Ship, how are you?"

A pleasant, female voice that sounded vaguely familiar to Jack responded.

"I am operating within acceptable parameters Captain Hart."

John's eyes sparkled as a look of revelation crossed Jack's face.

"John, is that… is that Gwen's voice?"

The other man nodded cheerily, but with a sly look in his eyes. "I thought it might help you feel more at home."

"If she knew, she'd kill you."

"Yeah, I expect she would. Or at least she'd try really hard. Lovely thought, isn't it?"

The two men laughed; both knew very well the time for laughing was probably quickly coming to an end.

"Ship," said John. "This is Captain Jack Harkness sitting next to me. He now has full and equal authority on your esteemed and respected self. He is co-captain with all the rights and privileges associated with that rank. You will obey his commands as you obey mine. Got that?"

"Yes, Captain Hart. Welcome aboard Captain Harkness." A device popped up out of the console in front of Jack. "Please look into this apparatus briefly so that I may scan your retinas, Captain Harkness. It will only take a moment. There is no pain involved."

Jack did what he was told. He put his face into a visor-like gizmo and stared at a bunch of brightly colored pulsing lights for several seconds.

"Next, please state your desired password, sir. It will utilized, along with Captain Hart's, for this vessel's self-destruct. Please do not forget it."

"That's unlikely," Jack sighed. "Delta-Zero-Chi-Tau-Zero-Rho."

John looked at his friend and shook his head sadly but said nothing.

"Thank-you, Captain Harkness, sir. You may now place a command."

"Ship," Jack said; then he glanced sidelong at John and whispered, "we have got to come up with a better name…" John shrugged noncommittally in response.

"Ship, begin displaying all relevant information related to the unexplained disappearance of inhabited planets in the Orion Arm of the Milky Way galaxy," Jack ordered.

"Yes, of course, Captain Harkness. Kindly redirect your attention to the main viewing screen."