Chapter 9

Early 2000

Lyall bawled till his face was tomato red. Dora hushed baby Lyall gently, bouncing him in her arms to soothe him, letting him rest his head on her chest, her heartbeat to lull him to sleep if only he would quiet down.

"Oh hush, Lyall, what's wrong huh? Tell mummy," Dora said gently. Lyall stopped, looking up at his mother with red swollen puffy eyes.

"Da…dada," Lyall babbled in his baby talk, drool dripping down his chin. Dora wiped it off for him gently.

"Oh…" she paused, "Dada's resting, baby,"

Lyall pouted and his eyes filled with tears. It was the full moon tonight and Remus was spending his day resting on the couch. Dora told him to rest in bed but Remus refused to look ill and worry poor sensitive Teddy who was 3 and curious.

As Lyall's perfect lips opened to let out another deafening cry, Dora interrupted, relenting, "alright Lyall…" She sighed, "Mama will bring you to Dada," Lyall stopped, his bright blue eyes that were exactly like Remus', and watched Dora intently. Singing to him gently under her breath, Dora shuffled out of the nursery, watching her step as she walked down the steps and into the living room. Lyall was quiet all this while.

Dora paused at the bottom of the stairs and smiled. On the couch, Remus lay with his head propped up on the pillow Dora placed there. Little Teddy lay with his cheek pressed up against his father's chest, his little fists grasping his father's jumper firmly, asleep as well. Remus was emitting a soft snore which always elicited a small smile from Dora.

Carefully, Dora adjusted so that Lyall was carried in an upright position and he looked around curiously for his father. Once Lyall's searching eyes found Remus' sleeping form on the couch, he began eliciting annoyed and impatient noises, a build up to a loud cry.

"You want to go to Dada?" Dora asked, jostling Lyall. Upon his nod, Dora placed Lyall in the small space between Remus' rib and the backing of the couch. Lyall grasped at Remus' jumper, waking his father, "Sorry, this little bugger insists on being near his father,"

Remus laughed a rasping laugh that made Dora's heart twist painfully, "he doesn't know what a beast of a father I am." A stab to her heart.

"No," She objected softly but vehemently. She leant over, brushing back fringe that has fallen into his eyes, "you're not a beast,"

"Little Red Riding Hood, Beauty and the Beast…those are the stories for us," Remus wheezed. The years of torture from the moon took its toll on his lungs, making it hard for him to breathe before and after the moon.

Dora smiled painfully, "They didn't have two beautiful kids," Dora gently touched Teddy's soft, presently, pink hair, "we did,"

Remus looked down at Teddy's sleeping form, trying to smoothen the slight frown between the toddlers' brows. Then he turned to Lyall, who was looking curiously at his father's deathly pale face, "what's the matter, little guy?" Remus probed with a gentleness that only Remus had.

Lyall frowned before leaning forward and resting his head on Remus' rib.

"They seem to know when you're ill…and they worry," Dora brushed Lyall's black hair back, watching their younger son bury his face into his father's side, "rest. I'll make us dinner," Remus made to get up but she shook her head as she rose, "I'll do fine, Remus. Don't worry, I wouldn't burn our house down," She shot a weak but mischievous smile back at him as she went into the kitchen.

Night came too soon for all of them. Lyall clung onto Remus' neck and Teddy fisted Remus' pant leg.

"C'mon little guy, go to Mama," Remus coaxed. Lyall whined and shook his head. Remus blew on his pink cheek gently, coaxing a little giggle from him. Dora opened her arms and Lyall complied, albeit reluctantly. Then it was Teddy's turn. It broke Dora's heart to see Remus coax and even lie to their kids to leave him to retreat to the basement, but they both knew it was necessary.

When Teddy was clinging onto Dora's leg instead of Remus', Remus leant forward and kiss Dora on her lips gently before turning for the basement.

Remus hated the smell of the basement. Dora had tirelessly cleaned it out using basic spells she could manage after every full moon but the smell of the wolf still lingered in the air. With their pay, they were able to afford wolfsbane now and thus, thankfully, there were no blood stains tainting the basement. Shivering, Remus shredded his jumper and pants, folding them away in the corner. Then he sat on the mattress and waited.

The moon rose within half an hour and Remus tensed, feeling it tug at his bones almost ruthlessly. He couldn't stop a pained, pleading, cry from escaping his lips. All those years of the moon never dulled the pain of succumbing to it. And yet, the thought of his beautiful sons' smiles made him strong, the picture of his wife sleeping peacefully made him forget his pain like a miraculous balm.

A loud cry of a toddler interrupted Remus' efforts to dull his pain. Remus' eyes flew open and he felt the wards recede and fade to nothing, "no…" He growled, fighting the transformation. But as it was for the last 46 years, it counted to nothing. His teeth sharpened to deadly weapons, his nails lengthened into claws, "Dora-" a strangled cry was heard as the door cracked open, "Teddy… no…"

His vision turned black and he collapsed to the floor despite his effort to stay up.


"Hush Lyall," Dora said, rocking the little bawling baby. Lyall has been crying the whole time since Remus descended to the basement. No matter what Dora did, he would not quiet down. She fed him, cuddled him, kissed him, checked his diapers, rubbed lavender oil on the soles of his feet and sang to him. He cried all the same, "What's wrong my sweet boy?" She bounced him gently in her arms.

Lyall choked and coughed, pausing in his cries. Dora frantically straightened Lyall in her arms and patted him on his back gently. As his lungs cleared, Lyall cried. Dora shushed him, kissing his temple.


Teddy let out a babble as he tottered down the steps, "dada," He called as he reached the last of the steps. He stumbled, tripping on his own feet. As he hit the floor hard, Teddy bawled.

The wolf paused in its whimpering as he heard Teddy's cries. Growling, it rose from the floor, put out with the invasion of its personal area. Blinking to clear its eyes. now seeing clearer in the dark, it spotted a small human sprawled on the floor. As it looked up, something in the wolf shifted; the man.

Teddy! My baby, what is he doing here… Sweet Merlin no.

Teddy bawled, sitting up and rubbing his bruised knees as he remembered his mum did for him when he fell, which was often. It had always made his bruise hurt less and so, being the smart boy that he is, Teddy decided to do it for himself. The wolf sniffed the air as the baby got to his feet and continued tottering closer. The air smelt like the baby powder and fresh laundry and a smell Remus associated with his two children; his offsprings. The wolf watched curiously but cautiously.

This was new to it; company. It has been alone for all it could remember, never seeing another wolf and never seeing a human. All these years, it was always warm and comfortable and full in the belly. The wolf was satisfied but if it was not for the man, always in the back controlling his actions, it would gnaw on its limbs till it was raw.

"Woofy," Teddy babbled. In his hand, he held a stuffed wolf by its ear. The wolf's body stiffened as the toddler came so close that the wolf could kill the toddler with a mighty swing of its paws, armed with sharp claws. It could smell the sweet flesh of the baby and hear the sound of blood rushing in his veins. The wolf was not hungry but little human would make a good chew toy. However, the man was pulling him back.

The baby stopped in front of the wolf, curious. The baby placed a small chubby hand on the side of the wolf's head and the wolf stiffened, turning to sniff the baby's hand. The wolf could smell its own blood in the veins of the little human.

Don't you dare hurt my boy. Remus warned the wolf.

"Woof!" Teddy mimed a bark, giggling to himself.

The wolf cocked his head at the baby and barked once fiercely, meant to intimidate the baby to keep a distance but Teddy giggled louder and woofed at him again. The wolf replied as such.

Teddy…Please go away… Remus pleaded but the wolf snorted in annoyance at the man. With the wolfsbane, Remus knew what he was doing, he can exercise some level of control over the wolf but never full control. Without the wolfsbane however, Remus would be the wolf. He would feel hunger and the urge to destroy and kill. He would be the monster.

"Dada?" Teddy smiled tentatively. He is a clever boy and he watched his father walk into the basement and when he came in later, in the place of his father was the wolf. So it was only reasonable that his father was the wolf. Teddy dropped his hand from the wolf and clutched his own stuffed wolf to his chest, grinning. He was pleased that all this time, the wolf protecting him from the monsters at night was his father, "dada!" He declared.

The wolf jumped at the 'loud' shriek from the baby and it snarled; a warning. Don't you dare. Remus snapped.

Teddy was oblivious and clapped as best as he can while holding his stuffed wolf, awed by the strength displayed by the wolf. Teddy then grabbed a fistful of the wolf's fur on its shoulder and tugged gently. He knew not to handle animals roughly, his father had taught him that and Teddy remembered.

The wolf snorted but went along with the baby. Teddy tugged the wolf to the mattress and plonked down on it. Teddy crawled to the inside of the bed and patted the mattress, "Sit here!" Teddy pointed. Remus willed the wolf to do so and the beast sniffed the mattress. It smelt itself and sat down, assured. The wolf ignored the toddler, recognizing that this little human was harmless, too weak to do anything but exert light tugs and be an annoyance.

Teddy smiled and buried his face in the fur on the wolf's side. The wolf ignored him and slept.


Tonks sighed as Lyall finally cried himself to sleep. She placed him gently in the cot and tucked him in. She had tucked Teddy into bed before she went to get Lyall. Teddy was a good boy who listened to instructions and he always waited for Tonks to get back to him after handling his younger brother if he could not sleep but he had no problems falling asleep by himself if he was tired enough from a day of running around and tripping.

Tonks glanced at the clock. It was already 4am. She padded out of the room quietly and went next door to check on Teddy. She frowned as the door was found ajar. Her heart skipped a beat as she opened the door, dreading to see Teddy's absence. And true to that, Teddy was no where to be found.

"Teddy? Baby where are you?" Tonks called softly, careful not to wake Lyall. She peered under the bed but he was not there. There was a time Tonks and Remus came to find Teddy in the morning to find him not in bed. They looked all over the house for him to find him sleeping under the bed with his stuffed wolf. Apparently, he had a nightmare and crawled under the bed to sleep. He felt his wolf could protect him from anything so Teddy did not search for his parents.

Tonks felt panic grab a hold of her and she scoured the living room, kitchen, the master bedroom, the guest room, even the store, the yard and the garden. Finally, she gulped. There was only one place she had not looked. She grabbed her wand and checked the wards. It was like she was slapped in the face when she felt an invasion in the wards around the basement. The door was ajar as well.

"No….Teddy…." Tonks bit her lips as she did not even spare a thought for herself as she pushed open the door, her wand going in before herself. The basement was dark and it took a while for her eyes to adjust.

When it did, she could see the wolf lay out on the mattress. It was awake and its eyes open as she entered.

"Remus…" she muttered. Her husband took the wolfsbane but she was aware of its limitations and chose to be cautious. She sucked in a breath as she spotted a mess of brown hair beside the wolf, slightly out of place as it shifted and sat up. Teddy rubbed his eyes.

"Mama?" Teddy babbled happily.

"Teddy!" Tonks whispered, "come to mama," She beckoned. She watched as Teddy looked around himself for his stuffed wolf before crawling on all fours right over the wolf. Tonks sucked in a nervous breath, her wand ready to stun the wolf should it attack. The wolf snorted and shifted uncomfortably as Teddy crawled over it. Teddy stood up when he reached the floor and tottered over to his mother. The wolf snorted and Teddy turned around, "Say bye bye to wolfy, Teddy," Tonks made things up, thinking her son would merely wave at the wolf and leave but Teddy learnt affection too well.

She watched on in horror as Teddy approached the wolf and grabbed the snout of the wolf. The wolf struggled but Remus gritted down and held the wolf still, especially the jaw of the wolf shut. Teddy pressed a wet and firm kiss to its snout before he turned around and tottered into the waiting arms of his mother. Tonks watched the wolf unblinkingly, her wand inconspicuously trained on the wolf, even as she took Teddy into her arms.

The wolf watched them, snorting in annoyance at the constant presence of the man. Tonks quickly backed away and shut the door quietly, locking it and reinforcing the wards. Only then, she let out of a breath she didn't realise she was holding.

"Mama…" Teddy mumbled as he buried his face into his mother's neck, pressing his wolf to his lips and drifted off to sleep.

Tonks sighed. She would have a whole heap of paranoia from Remus to clean up tomorrow onwards and she was going to have a stern talk with Teddy about what basement and forbidden means.


Remus grunted with the effort to stand immediately after his transformation. He grabbed his pants and tugged them on hastily. He struggled to get his jumper on despite his sore joints as he limped to the door. He wandlessly disabled the wards and stepped out into the kitchen to see Dora sitting at the counter with her head in her hands.

She looked up the moment she heard the door open. Her eyes had dark eye bags circling them and her wand was clutched in her hands. Dora stood up the moment she saw Remus. She approached him and helped him tug his jumper over his head gently. Her fingers brushed over his back and Remus shivered.

"Remus," She said, her voice hoarse but paused, hesitant as he looked down at her.

"Where's Teddy and Lyall?" He croaked.

Dora averted his eyes, replying, "in their rooms, they're still asleep the last time I checked-"

Remus swept past her and limped up the steps as fast he could go.

"Remus, they're fine, slow down! Don't hurt yourself," Tonks said softly as she went after him. She stumbled once and Remus paused, seemingly stopping himself from helping his wife as he turned. He stared at her before turning back around and walking up the steps, slower this time.

He opened Teddy's room slowly and walked quietly to his bedside. The boy was snuggled into his thick blanket, clutching his stuffed wolf to his chest. Remus let out a breath of relief as he knelt by his son, brushing his hair softly. Teddy's eyes opened blearily.

"Dada?" Teddy murmured.

"Yes, Teddy. Daddy is here for you," Remus whispered, pressing a kiss to the crown of Teddy's head. Teddy smiled and went back to sleep.

Remus rose and slipped pass Dora, ignoring her altogether. He went across the hall and went into the nursery, where Lyall slept. Dora watched with her lips pitched together as Remus fussed over Lyall. The babe was dead tired from fussing the whole of last night. Remus pressed a kiss to his forehead and went pass Dora and walked into the master bedroom.

"Remus," Dora sighed, exasperated from being ignored as she followed Remus into the room and closed the door behind her. Remus turned his back to her as he pulled his jumper over his head, obviously getting ready for a bath, "Remus, please!" She grabbed his wrist in a firm vice-like grip.

Remus' eyes widened and he looked at her. Dora flinched.

"Please talk to me," She pleaded, her voice so small it was almost a whimper.

"What do you want me to say to you?" Remus muttered. She let him go and hunched her shoulders.

"I know you blame me. It's my fault that Teddy went down to the basement, that I put my son in danger and risk letting you regret this for the rest of your life," She whispered. Remus paused.

"Regret what?"

"This. Our life. Our love, our marriage, our children,"

Remus stiffened, "don't you see? This is just it. I can't bring myself to regret this. I love our life, our love, our marriage and our children," He looked at her, the gentleness in his eyes, that was always there when he looked at her, gone, "I love you. I just can't blame you. I wish I could but I can't…"

Dora almost choked on the breath she sucked in. Remus blames himself and for the first time since he left the basement, Dora wished he would blame her instead of himself but her sweet husband could not hate her. She stepped forward, cringing as Remus flinched. Dora gently cupped his cheeks in her hands, "I'm sorry, Remus…I was watching Lyall, the poor boy missed you so much I couldn't comfort him, and Teddy…I just couldn't take care of them properly. Merlin knows I'm a terrible mother,"

He averted her eyes, shaking his head in disagreement, "no…" he muttered, "you're a good mother to Teddy and Lyall…" Remus stepped back, leaving her touch as he disappear into the bathroom, closing the door with a click behind him. Dora flinched as if he slapped her.

She turned and changed into her Auror uniform, "I'll…get breakfast ready," She told him and heard him murmur an agreement from the toilet. Just as she stepped out of the room, she heard the water run.

Remus turned the water ice cold. He needed to wake himself up. When he left the basement, his heart was filled with worry. Then guilt. Then anger towards his wife for letting things even come to that. He blamed her for it and that scared Remus. He loved her and when he saw her at the counter, already filled with remorse and guilt, he hated himself for even considering to be angry towards her.

She loved their children so much, maybe even more than he loved them. That was the thing he loved about her. Dora had more love in her heart than any Remus had even seen. She found it in her heart to love a monster like he's an angel.


The toasts popping out from the toaster made her jump, interrupting her train of thoughts. Dora waved her wand and levitated the toasts to the plates while putting more bread in the toaster. It was a muggle contraption her father introduced to her when she was a kid, it enabled her to cook something without burning it. Andromeda had always disliked it and gave it to Dora.

She applied a thick layer of jam on it for little Teddy and left Remus' plain with some butter. Dora then walked to the kitchen to make formula for Lyall as the toasts buttered themselves up. She half expected Remus to swoop in and hug her from behind, giving her a fright, as he would always do when she made breakfast and he took a bath. When she was done, Dora looked towards the vacant stairs and sighed. No doubt, Remus had more than enough reason to keep the shower longer this time around.

She scribbled a note for Remus and left it on the table after casting a warming charm on the toast. She picked up her robe and pulled it over her uniform. With once last glance behind her at the quiet house, Dora turned and left for work.


A/N: Thanks to those who reviewed last chapter! Do leave me a review for this one!