Live Your Dreams

Charlotte's Web, Chapter 9

As Alex continued to thumb through the rest of the notebook, a CNA came in to take Sophie's BP, which had been lowering. She frowned toward Alex, sharing the reading, "80/50." Alex pressed his lips together and nodded, sharing, "Her feet are swelling and are cold, altered consciousness beginning, sleeping more, socially withdrawing."

The CNA, surprised by Alex's command of important signs and not knowing he had medical training, assured him, "I'll note that in her chart. And you are?"

Alex stood and extended his hand, "Dr. Alex Karev, I'm a surgeon and Charlotte's father."

The CNA shook his hand and said, "Nice to meet you, Doctor. I'm sure you're aware that she's entered the active dying process." Alex nodded as his eyes welled up with tears. The CNA continued, "Her daughter is on her way?"

Alex nodded and said absent-mindedly, "Yeah, I'm on that. Thanks." Alex texted Jo, It's close andJo immediately responded omw. Then he looked at the clock and texted Charlotte, Almost to the hospital? Charlotte responded Yep. Can see the front doors from the edge of the parking lot. Alex texted back Good, I'll see you *soon*. Charlotte was puzzled about why he'd stressed the time factor, but shrugged it off.

A few minutes later, Charlotte entered the room fully expecting a lucid mom. "Hey, Mama Bear," she exclaimed as she came through the curtain by the door. She stopped in her tracks, noticing that Sophie was drastically different than the previous day. Jo happened to come in behind Charlotte, nearly bumping into her because Jo hadn't anticipated anyone standing just on the other side of the curtain.

Jo put a hand on Charlotte's shoulder and asked softly, "Is it ok if I do this?" Jo did not wanted to be present for Charlotte but didn't want to appear to be rushing in to replace Sophie and Sophie's role in Charlotte's life. Charlotte said nothing, softly moved her shoulder downward as she turned around and smirked a forced smile. Charlotte walked over to the bed and grasped her mom's hand. She buried her head on the edge of Sophie's bed and began sobbing. Alex lightly placed his hand over Charlotte's and Charlotte grasped his hand with her other hand.

Jo came closer and rubbed Charlotte's back, saying, "Let the tears fall, honey." Charlotte hated to be called any food-related term of endearment because she'd always found it strange to call someone a food. But she knew that people probably found it really odd that her mom called her Spider, a name that stuck from the first time they read Charlotte's Web together. Only her mom used the nickname, and Charlotte wasn't sure if she'd ever want to hear it again once Sophie passed away. Amber had encouraged Charlotte to put the decision off and just trust her gut as time went on, offering, "There's no rush to figure that out. If you do decide ask anyone to call you Spider, you'll know when the time is right."

"Can she hear me if I talk to her?" Charlotte asked Alex.

Alex responded, "We don't know for sure, but I think she can."

Charlotte edged close to Sophie's ear and whispered, "Hey, Mom." Sophie's hand returned the clasp that Charlotte still held.

Charlotte looked back at Alex, who nodded his head, "I saw." Charlotte kissed Sophie's hand as Alex got up and started carefully and gently removing all Sophie's various tubes and IVs except for the morphine. He explained, to nobody in particular, "These aren't helping her anymore." He asked Charlotte, "Kiddo, do you want to lie next to her? The hospital people won't tell you that you can, but they won't stop you from doing it either." Charlotte nodded and climbed carefully next to Sophie.

"She's getting close, Charlotte," Alex explained, "Could be just a few minutes or hours."

Charlotte softly responded, "I know. The hospice people told me this might happen." She glanced back at Alex, and he put his hand on her upper arm. Jo held Alex's hand as they sat in vigil.

About 30 minutes later, Sophie opened her eyes just a little and worked hard to speak, "Spider…love…you…Spider."

Charlotte responded between tears with a cracking voice, "I love you too, Mama Bear." Sophie wanted to speak more but struggled to do so.

Three or four minutes later, Sophie said, "Alex…" Alex clasped her hand and said, "I'm right here, Sophie."

Sophie responded weakly and with great effort, "Thanks."

Alex's tears began to flow little by little. He took a few deep breaths and said, "Hey, no. Thank you. Charlotte is the best surprise I've ever encountered." Alex leaned down and kissed Sophie's forehead, then stepped back and sat back down next to Jo.

Breathing became more and more difficult for Sophie, and she was intermittently gasping for air. "Sometimes this goes on awhile, Charlotte," Alex explained.

Charlotte remained in the bed next to her mom and whispered, "That's ok."

Then about 20 minutes later, Sophie surprisingly offered, "Spider, live your dreams, k?"

Charlotte nodded and said, "Ok, Mom."

Sophie gathered the last of her strength. She took three steadily decreasing breaths and was gone.

Alex, who had heisted a random stethoscope, listed for Sophie's heart, which was no longer beating. Alex shook his head as he looked at Jo then put his hand on Charlotte's shoulder, "She's gone." Charlotte sat up and fell into Alex's chest. Alex, knowing the importance of saying the words aloud, said, "She's gone, Charlotte. She died. Your mom loved you so much." Alex said those words all the time, but they were nearly impossible to utter in this situation.

Jo quietly stepped out to tell the nurse that Sophie had died, and Alex continued holding his daughter. Charlotte soaked his shirt with her tears, as Alex related, "I know, Charlotte. It sucks. She was too young."

Charlotte looked up from Alex's chest and offered, "You know, Dad, you can call me Spider if you want."

Alex nodded with a soft smile, "Cool."

Sophie's memorial service and cleaning out the house filled up all of the next week. Alex and Charlotte grew closer as they shared the experiences of grief and goodbyes. Alex had offered to figure out a way for Charlotte to stay in Iowa until the end of the quarter, but she was resolute that she was ready to get out of the snow, move to Seattle, and change her scenery. Eight days after Sophie's death, Charlotte looked directly at Alex and said, "Let's go, Dad. I'm done with this part of my life."

Alex looked at her with softened eyes, "Anything you say, Spider," and put his arm around his daughter as they walked through the door and headed home.