A/N: So, I've been sick for the past week and I fear this isn't as strong a finish on this chapter as I would like but I don't want to make you guys wait. So, here it is. As always thank you for reading and reviewing! I promise I will address those who reviewed specifically when I post again but I need to get to bed. Happy reading!

I've been posting the song for each chapter on my tumblr post so if anyone wants the playlist thus far let me know. I just realized that I haven't been posting it here.

Chapter song: Sort Of - Ingrid Michaelson


She left me to sleep alone again last night. Not that I blame her after what's been going on with us. I just don't know how to get us back to right. It's a terrible feeling to doubt the person you trust most in the world. I didn't doubt that she loved me, just that there wasn't some part of her that hadn't let go of Beca after all this time. I'm not sure that I could deal with any part of her belonging to someone else.

The bed felt wrong without her so I abandoned it to slip into the living room. It was early and I knew she would still be asleep. Chloe had the ability to pass out during any stressful time. It was as if she was sapped of all energy. Me, the anxiety queen? After the alcohol and whatever toxic crap was in that shot wore off I was still wide awake.

All I wanted was to crawl up beside her, despite what was going on. No gulf between us could make me not want her and no cannonball of doubt could destroy the need that ate me from inside out. I made a decision, not really a decision really, but a concession to my own emotional compulsion.

I slipped onto the end of the couch near her feet. It was a huge couch, one I had picked out myself because we could both fit on it. It was easy to slide behind and pull the blanket over both of us without causing too much disturbance. I sighed in relief when I felt her heat through the thin fabric of her t-shirt. The connection was there, even in the silent repose of her sleep.

Her legs tangled with mine and I was surprised when I felt her hand sneak back and grab my own, pulling my arm across her abdomen and keeping it there, like a treasure. "Your feet are cold," she whispered. I maneuvered the blanket with my feet until my cold skin was no longer touching hers warm legs.

I was surprised that I had woken her up but so very happy to find that even in the midst of uncertainty, she still let me in, even just enough to take comfort in her physical nearness. Before thought stopped me, I leaned forward and kissed the skin in the crook of her neck, her hair tickled my nose and the feel of her skin gave me solace.

It was like so many other times that we had been together like this that a surreal sense of reality set in, forcing me to slam shut the gates of my mind. I just wanted to be here with her, without the bits of pollution to sully the simplicity of intimacy.

She is still mine and I am hers. The words comforted me as I slipped into a deep sleep. Warm and safe; happy and content… for the moment.

Soon enough morning came and my sleepy eyes opened to a close up of Chloe's back. I lay still and let wakefulness come to me slowly but she was two steps ahead.

"Aubrey," she said. My name sounded sweet rolling off her tongue. It had a breathy quality, something I wouldn't normally notice.

"Yeah?" A shadow of fear was within me as I closed my eyes, trying to ward it off. My arm tightened around her and the grip of her fingers on mine increased ever so slightly.

"What's wrong with us?" She let the silence remain for a moment before she shifted, turning to face me. It was difficult with so little room between us but she managed and I was staring into blue now. Her wide eyes and quick breath signaled that there was a dam about to break. One that held back tears neither of us wanted shed.

"I don't know," I answered, trying to keep my own composure. "I think we've been hiding from each other a little." I bit my lip. "That sounds stupid. I mean…"

"No, I get it," she said. "I just think we don't talk enough anymore." She pushed back the hair that fell into my eyes. "We got in this routine and just kind of forgot to communicate."

I caught her hand and held it to my cheek. "And I kind of acted like an idiot," I said. Admitting it out loud gave it perspective. Taking a step towards some kind of resolution had the dual feeling of relief and a leap off the tallest cliff. "I'm sorry about last night…. and everything else."

Being this close to her made it hard not to just want to kiss the doubt away but I refrained and instead let my fingers lazily graze the side of her face. "I want to tell my parents but I just don't know if I can take the fallout. I'm already kind of on thin ice."

Chloe stopped the movement of my hand. "I know and half of me feels like a selfish asshole for pushing you on it but I don't know how long I can do this. Sometimes I feel like I'm living a half life and I hate lying to your family." She sighed. "Maybe I just won't go anywhere I might see them for awhile."

"If that's what you need to do then I understand." This meant I wouldn't have Chloe there for support at any more family functions until I came clean. That was a sacrifice that I was willing to make. "But I swear I will tell them. Maybe we can talk about it more. You know, later but right now I was kind of enjoying just laying with you." I felt bad for wanting to change the subject but I was tired of not enjoying my time with my girlfriend. We needed this and everything else could wait.

"Okay," she said. That particular glow was back in her eyes. The one that meant that she was enjoying our closeness as much as I was. I leaned forward and met her smiling lips. For the first time in days, I lost myself in her.

That is, until the doorbell sounded. I frowned and looked over. "Who the hell could that be?" The clock above the fireplace read one thirty. We had slept for far longer than I thought. There was no way I was going to answer the door in a t-shirt and underwear. "I'm going to go take a quick shower and get dressed. Will you get the door?"

"Sure," Chloe said. "Probably just a Jehovah's Witness or something," she muttered, disappointed. She looked just as perplexed as I did but she was definitely far more presentible than I was so with a quick kiss I slid away from her, sad for the loss of her skin on mine but laughing for the first time in weeks. My feet made little slapping sounds on the wood floor as I beat a path for the bedroom where I pushed the door until it was only open a crack.

I searched through the closet for a fresh set of clothes, remembering that the shirt I was looking for was in the dryer. I bit my lip and considered the options. I wanted the shirt. It was silly but I wanted to feel pretty today and that shirt always did the trick. Chloe had given it to me last Christmas.

I remembered my reaction when I opened it. I was dubious when I first took it out of the box but the joy on Chloe's face had convinced me to try it on as soon as we were done exchanging gifts. Sure enough she had been right. The shape was perfect for my body and the deep blue made my eyes half as luminous as Chloe's. I could live with that.

Memories like that where what I needed right now. I reveled in it as I went to peek out the bedroom door to see if Chloe had gotten rid of whoever was at the door, but I was met with a view Chloe standing opposite of someone with long brown hair and the sound of murmured voices.

Whoever it was, they were hidden behind the pillar of the entryway. I leaned forward a little to improve my view. I recognized the voice and my shock suffused my body. Beca was here. My heart sank and then anger replaced it. I quickly stepped into the pants I was holding in my hand and opened the door.

"You didn't tell her about the kiss did you?"

Beca's words stopped me in my tracks.

"Keep your voice down," Chloe scolded. "No, I didn't tell her. Now, I need you to"

I found myself beside Chloe before I even realized that I had moved. "Hello, Beca," I said, the words as bitter cold as ice.

"Aubrey," Chloe said. Her tone was pleading and desperate.

I gave a short laugh and shook my head. I didn't want to hear that right now. I had no sympathy to give and the object of my rage was right in front of me. "I suggest you leave," I said. The threat dripped off every word. "Before I make you leave."

"Listen, it was all my fault, not Chloe's… I kissed her."

My head turned slightly to the side. "Figures," I said, advancing on her. She backed away and I kept coming until she was standing on the other side of the threshold. "Goodbye, Beca" I slammed the door in her face and turned my attention on my girlfriend. "So, she kissed you." I wasn't even really aware of anything but the hot feelings coursing through me. "Did you kiss her back?"

"It's more complicated than that," she said.

"So, you did," I accused. "Great, I guess that makes this easy."

"What do you mean?" She asked, coming towards me with her hands up.

I let her come and when she got to me, she grabbed my hands. The touch burned and everything in me wanted to rip my hands away but the steel inside me made me stay.

"I didn't kiss her back," she said. Her eyes were wet with tears. "Aubrey, please, don't do anything crazy."

"I don't believe you," I spat. I broke away from her and walked towards the bedroom. "I guess I don't have to tell my parents anything after all."

Her eyes went wide and she rushed after me. "What are you saying?" She reached out again and grabbed my arm quickly. "Are you trying to break up with me right now?"

I turned on her, looking down at her hand on me. "It seems like you can't stay away from Beca fucking Mitchell. Maybe that's something you need to figure out. Apparently, I'm just getting in the way."

Once again, I broke her grip and stormed into the bedroom, slamming a door for the second time that day. I was done with all of this. The adrenaline that had kept me going thus far fled and I collapsed in a pile on the bedroom floor, body racked with sobs.

The door opened and she was upon me, gathering me into her arms. I tried to fight, pushing at her hands and rolling to the side, but she was stronger in that moment. I was the weak one. She pulled me towards her and I let it happen. I let her draw me back in.

My face was wet with the torrential pour of salt water that still cascaded down, soaking my shirt and hers. She looked me in the eyes, holding my face in her hands. "Please, Aubrey," she said, her own tears streaking down her face.

I drew back and every bit of me wanted to slap her, to hit her, to get rid of the pain that stabbed hard into my chest. My hand raised into the air and came swooping down and I saw her brace but it stopped, instead gripping her face. I lunged forward and kissed her hard.

Our tears mingled as I pressed into her, our bodies now toppled over with mine on top. I pushed past her lips, my tongue hungry for her. I grabbed her hand and slid it under my shirt, pressing it flush with my stomach. I knew no thoughts only action as I shoved her hand past the waistband of my pants and into my center.

She gasped and her fingers found their way to just where I needed them. I wanted to wipe every trace of Beca away from her. I wanted her to possess me, to be inside of me in every way possible. I needed her to want me more. If that happened then maybe it wasn't over and maybe my love wouldn't go to waste.

Her lips found their way to my neck and my eyes opened as she bit into the flesh there. The pain was welcome. She smoothed her tongue over the bite and her lips brushed my ear. "I love you," she husked. The phrase made me choke back a sob and then she repeated it, whispering into the oblivion of my orgasm.

"I love you, I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you."