I'm... What?

(Buffy's POV)

Mark picks up a ball and Will and Xander do the same. I can see his thoughts clearly. He thinks if he can get Xander out, get the guy out, then the girl, Willow, wouldn't pose much of a threat, so he could get her out easily.

It doesn't work that way, though. He throws his ball at Xander, and Xander dodges, then he and Willow throw their balls simultaneously and both connect. But they don't stop there. They give him a taste of his own medicine, and they keep picking up balls and launching them faster than I thought they could. But they shouldn't have done that, because now Mark is ignoring the constant whistling coming from the coach, telling him he's out, and Mark picks up another ball and throws it at Xander, hard. The ball connects with Xander's gut, and Xander doubles over, coughing, then he does the same to Willow, catching her in the head.

He only hit each of them once, but he was throwing to kill. (Metaphorically speaking, of course.)

"That's it! Game over!" The coach yells. "Hartman! Principal! Now!"

Mark glares at the coach, then smirks and mutters "whatever" under his breath and walks out of the gym.

"Damn. Someone needs to knock him down to size." I say, looking at Faith, who looks pale. "Faith? What is it, baby?"

"That... That smirk... I recognize that smirk..." She says, still staring at Mark as he swings the doors to the gymnasium shut.

...

"What do you mean, you recognize the smirk?" I ask, worried.

"I... it... but..." She stammers.

Faith looks back at me, right into my eyes, so I know something's up. I see nothing but fear and rage in her eyes. "I... I'm sorry..."

"Sorry? Sorry for what?" I ask.

"For this..." Faith says as she turns and runs out of the gymnasium.

"Faith!" I call after her, but she doesn't even acknowledge that she heard me.

"What was that about?" Willow asks when she and Xander walk up to me.

"I... I don't know... I'll be back..." I say, then I go after Faith.

...

"Faith!" I call just as I'm catching up to her. I put my hand on her shoulder, and she wheels around and punches me in the eye. I go down, and the next thing I know, she's on the ground beside me.

"Oh shit! Buffy! I'm so sorry!" She says, pulling me towards her and hugging me. "Fuck! You scared me, Buffy!"

"What's going on?" I ask her, holding my right eye.

"Damn, I'm so sorry, Buffy! I didn't mean to hit you!"

"Faith!" I say loudly, getting her attention. I stand up and take her hands in mine. My eye is already swelling shut. "What is going on? What was that about?" I ask, nodding back towards the gym.

Faith sighs, then slumps back to the ground against the lockers.

"It... It was that smirk... I've seen that same smirk before."

"Well, how long have you been going to school with Mark?"

"It's not that. I mean, yeah, it is... I just never paid any attention to it before. Mark was never really on my radar, other than in athletics and stuff."

"Then what is it?"

"It... That smirk... it's the same as the smirk... my rapist gave me."

"What?" I whisper, kneeling down beside her as she buries her face in her hands.

"I... I don't really remember much... What I do remember is just what I've seen in my... in my nightmares... But that smirk... I recognize it... It's the smirk the guy that raped me gave just before... just before he did it... Just before he knocked me out."

"Oh god..." I say softly, then sit down next to Faith. I put my hands in my lap. "Do... Do you think that... that Mark...?"

"I don't know... I don't want to believe it... I don't want it to be him... not 'cause he's a really great guy, and I look up to him or anythin', 'cause, hello, he's a major dirtbag... but because... his dad's on the city council... No one'll ever believe that he raped me, and even if they do, his dad'll just pay off whoever would take my side, and it would never even make it to court. Even if it did, Mr. Hartman would only pay off the jury, and there'd never be any conviction. If anythin', I'd probably be convicted of tryin' to blackmail a city councilman."

"Faith, you've got to have hope. We're going to figure out who did this to you, and we're going to get justice."

Faith nods, but I don't think she really believes me. But I don't mention anything more, I just pull her into me and wrap my arms around her.

Just then, Faith's cellphone rings. She slowly and hesitantly pulls it out of her pocket and looks at the Caller ID.

She narrows her eyes in confusion, and I read the Caller ID off of her phone. It's her stepmom, Linda.

She looks at me, and I look back.

"Wonder what this is about." Faith says, then flips her phone open to answer. "Hey. What's up?"

Her brow furrows even more as Linda responds.

"Yeah? Fine. Okay. What's goin' on? Okay, yeah, I got that, but what's this about?"

Faith continues to ask questions like that, but Linda never actually answers the question.

"Fine. Yeah. Fine, got it. Yeah, thanks for nothin'. Look, fine, I'll be there. Should I wait 'til after school? Yeah? Okay. Will do." She glances over at me and shrugs. "Look, can B come with? Yeah, Buffy. Oh come on! Why not?! She's been here for me the whole time! What the hell?!"

She stands up angrily and glares back down at me. I mouth "What's going on?", but she just shakes her head.

"Come on, Linda! This is bullshit! She deserves to know whatever is goin' on! She's been here for me the whole time, and never judged!" She scowls, defeated, and my heart sinks. I hate seeing her like that. "Fine. Yeah, I'll come alone. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, fine, whatever. I'll be there after school. Yeah. Bye." She slams her phone closed angrily then shoves it back in her pocket.

"What was that all about?" I ask, standing up and holding her hand.

She sighs. "Linda called. Said the test results are back at the hospital. She sounded kinda worried. She and Carrie already know what the results are, but they don't want me to find out over the phone. So, I'm s'posed to meet up with them at the hospital today after school. They don't want you to come with, though. Said this is a family matter, not for outsiders right now. Said that, when I find out, if I still want you to know, then I can call and let ya know. So I guess we'll just have to wait 'til later to find out what the fuck's goin' on."

"Well, whatever it is, we'll get through it. Just promise me one thing, okay?"

"Sure. Whatever. What is it?"

"Whatever you find out... don't try to hide it from me. Please, I want to know. And whatever it is, we'll figure out what to do together, right?"

She smiles reassuringly. "Yeah, you got it, B. No hidin'. That's a promise." I smile back and pull her in for a kiss to end all kisses.

We let everything we're feeling at that moment leak into the kiss. Every ounce of doubt about the future. Every single optimistic or pessimistic thought. Our anger, fear, confidence, and love fuels the kiss. It's the way we always kiss. We never hide anything in our kisses, we always let everything we feel show itself in the way we kiss.

Just from the way her lips move against mine, and the way her arms are wrapped loosely around my waist, I can tell she's glad I'm here beside her, and that I don't seem to be willing to let her go through any of this by herself, but at the same time, I can feel her fear and uncertainty about everything. It scares me, but I know that right now, I have to be the strong one for her.

The kiss ends only once the bell rings, so we go back to the gym and put our regular clothes on, then head off to our next classes. We have to separate, though, because we don't have the same class next.

...

After school, we meet up on the front lawn. She calls and tells Linda that she's going to walk me home before going to the hospital, and I smile at the gesture.

"Yeah, okay. Bye." She says as she hangs up. "I asked again if I could bring you along, but she said no." She growls. I squeeze her hand reassuringly. "It's just... I don't know... I don't wanna be that clingy girlfriend chick that can't do anythin' without the other person, but... I'd just... I just don't feel as confident about, well, anythin', when you're not beside me. I feel stronger when you're there. But when you're not... I'm just scared. And I hate that, but... no matter how hard I try, I just can't fuckin' get over it."

I squeeze her hand even harder, trying to assure her that everything will be alright, but she just nods slightly, then starts walking, keeping hold of my hand.

"Let's get you home. I gotta get to the hospital soon."

"Yeah." I agree, keeping pace with her.

...

It's been three hours since Faith called to let me know she'd gotten to the hospital alright, and that she was about to get whatever news the doctor had for her. With any luck, the DNA tests came back, and we'll know who did it. We'll know who raped my girlfriend, and then we can put him behind bars for good.

Of course, even if they came back, and they couldn't figure out who it was, I'm sure there are other ways the police could find out who did that to Faith. I just hope the DNA tests did say who did it. Then we could hurry up and move on.

I check my phone for the thousandth time, and, no, that is not an exaggeration. I've actually been counting. Got to keep my mind occupied somehow, right?

There are no new messages or missed calls. I'm beyond worried, I'm downright terrified right now. What if the tests weren't DNA tests after all? What if the results were coming back to tell Faith she had some big, bad STD because of this?!

Finally, I decide to try my luck. I hit and hold the call button on my phone. Faith was the last person I called, so it would dial her number exactly.

I wait for the phone to ring three times, then hear the click that says Faith picked up, and I sigh in relief.

"This is Danny's Pizzeria. How may I help you?" A teenage boy's voice asks, and I groan. I forgot that my mom just had me order a pizza for us earlier tonight.

"Sorry. Wrong number." I sigh, then hang up. I hit "3" on my phone and hold it. I should have just speed dialed her in the first place.

Just as before, the phone rang three times, but this time, it went through to voicemail.

"Hey, this is Faith. You know the drill." Her voicemail greeting sighed, and I groaned.

Could Faith be avoiding me? Was the news really that bad? OH MY GOD! What if she really DOES have an STD?!

"Faith... Um... look, I get that you probably need to be alone. 'Cause... whatever they told you... it's probably pretty big, right? So... just call me whenever you feel like it, okay? Don't feel pressured to call me back right away. Just... Just know that I'm here... whenever you need to talk... And... I meant what I said earlier. I... I love you, Faith." With that, I hang up, then throw my phone across the room, glad that it doesn't break against the wall. I slump down on the couch, then bury my face in my hands.

"That's a dangerous thing to be saying at your age, Buffy." I jump when I hear my mom's voice suddenly.

"Mom! What?" I ask, catching my breath.

"I love you. It's a dangerous thing to be saying at... well, it's dangerous no matter what age you are, but especially at your age. You need to be certain about them before you say them."

"Mom, I-" I sigh, knowing already that I'm about to be scolded for saying it already, but my mom surprises me when she cuts me off.

"Don't worry, Buffy. This isn't going to be a lecture about how you need to be more responsible with what you say. As a matter of fact... This is more geared towards the elusive "I'm proud of you" conversations." She smiles. I stare in shock.

"Wh... What?"

"I mean it, Buffy. I'm proud of you. Everything you've done so far when it comes to Faith has been really mature. Even when she told that horrible story about... what happened to her when she was younger. Even after all that's happened since you two met, you've still stuck by her. Most girls or guys your age would have freaked and abandoned the other person long before now, but you don't even show the slightest sign of wavering in your determination to help her. And I can see the truth of those three words in your eyes every time someone even talks about Faith, forget about when she's actually in the same room as you. I can see how much you really do love Faith. So, I'm proud of you for not being too afraid to say it."

I still stare at my mom in shock, my mouth open. I'm not proud of it, but I know that, right now, I look like one of those drooling zombies in the movies.

"Buffy, do you want me to drive you over to Faith's house right now? I know you must be worried."

I finally close my mouth then think for a minute. I really want to go over there right now and check on Faith. I just know that she's freaking out right now.

But then I think back to what I told Faith in my message, and I know I have my answer.

"Yes. I want that. But it's probably better if I don't. I... I told Faith I'd give her some time to think, and that she could call me whenever she was feeling up to it. So... I'll just wait until she decides to tell me what's going on."

Mom nods. "That's a good idea. So long as it's a healthy length of time waiting. If it goes on too long, though-"

"I know. I won't push, but I'm going to let her know I don't want her pushing me away, either."