A/N: Thank you for waiting..sorry for the cliffy last chapter! The parts that are in italics are flashbacks from last chapter. ;) I can't believe we're at chapter nine..when I thought this story would only be about six. Go me. Anyway, for real this time, this fic should probably be finished in three or less chapters. ;) Enjoy!
"I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away." - Broken, Seether
Chapter 9 - Ba Sing Se
Katara sighed, wrapping her thick parka tighter around her body.
The cool and crisp air used to bring comfort, but now it only ripped through her lungs, painfully. She glanced around, feeling like a stranger, or like she was watching someone else's dream. Sure, the snow was familiar, and so were the cool winds, but this past summer several members of the Northern Water Tribe had come forth and helped rebuild its sister city. Where there used to be shabby tents made of animal skin now stood tall buildings sculpted of ice. An outer wall had been created as a sort of defense base and Sokka's lookout tower stood proudly in the north entrance.
The Southern Water Tribe was no longer a sad shadow of its sister tribe. Hakoda said it still wasn't as grand as the North Pole, but Katara had never been there so she really couldn't compare. Yet as glorious as the South Pole now was, she felt more detached than ever.
Katara opened her mouth, and closed it again. She should be jumping at the opportunity to find a way out of this fate, of marrying Zuko and becoming a princess of the Fire Nation. And yet, the thought sort of left her a little lost. She couldn't bring the words of agreement to her lips. Instead she settled on asking, "Why are you doing this? Why now?"
From what information Lu Ten had leaked, the Earth Kingdom had pulled out most of their soldiers. Now there were treaties and alliances being made, especially since the Fire Nation and Water Tribes were uniting. Things were starting to look good for the Fire Nation, so why would Zuko do something to jeopardize this productive turn of events?
He was standing very still, stone faced. He still wasn't looking at her.
"Because I don't deserve you," he said finally. His voice came out in his usual husky tone, but it was so low Katara barely caught it. "Because I think you can do much better than me. You deserve better than me. You deserve to marry the person you want."
Out of all the new additions to the South Pole, the enormous fire pit was one of the more popular accompaniments, flames dancing wildly, surrounded by heavy stones of various sizes. Sitting on a stone seat around the pit, Katara gazed at the red and gold flames, pulling her knees to her chest. Children were running around the newly acclaimed 'ice plaza' and their laughter brought upon a soreness to her ears. So innocent and uncaring. She could barely remember a time before Zuko and the Fire Nation, of a carefree childhood. The memories were there, but they were faded and came in incremental waves.
A little girl chased after a boy and nudged him in the back.
"Got you!" she cried, wiping a gloved hand under her runny nose. "You're it!"
Katara tried to smile at the pair of them, but it was painful to do so. There was a slosh from behind and she turned slightly to find Sokka sauntering forward with a wary look on his face. It was the same look she received from just about everyone these days. Hesitant. Nervous. Afraid. Then again, she could hardly call her behavior normal these days, so she couldn't really blame them.
"Hey sis," Sokka said cautiously, gripping a glimmering silver spear tightly in his hands. "Want to go hunting with me?"
Katara shrugged, turning back to the flames. "I'm no good at hunting."
Sokka had anticipated this kind of response so his next tactic came quickly. "Well, you could always keep me company."
"Maybe next time."
Her answer was the same every time he asked. And this time was no different. She knew her brother was trying to cheer her up or possibly understand her distant behavior, but she was too tired to even attempt to explain herself. And really, she didn't even have reasons herself, none she could give him.
The world seemed to tilt. The colors blurred together, like paint dripping down a canvas. Katara was sure her heart stopped. She was relieved she was wearing a mask, and that he still wasn't looking at her. Her expression must be somewhere between awestruck and shock. And yet…
"Take off your mask," she demanded. "And look at me."
He didn't move, didn't show any sign that he had heard her. He looked to be barely breathing. Katara slid off her mask first—for some unknown reason she wanted them face each other properly—then she reached for him, slowly, and when he still didn't move, she slid off his mask. A finger moved under his chin, turning him to face her. His eyes held more emotion than anything he could have said. They were all emotions at once: anger, sadness, relief, joy. She wasn't sure which one stood out the most or what to make of it.
"Don't you think I should be the one to decide what I deserve?" Katara asked. She shook her head and dropped her hand from his face. "I don't understand you at all, Zuko."
"What is there to understand?" His voice was very tight. "I thought this was what you wanted—a way out."
"I don't know what I want."
The words came out quickly, too quickly for Katara to stop them. She felt an odd sense of relief at her declaration, and yet…there was disappointed there, as well. It was so much easier adjusting to the idea of becoming a princess of the Fire Nation when she thought she had no choice. But now? Now, when going back to the South Pole might be an option? No more parties. No more bowing and meeting people who only cared about you because of your name. No more private lessons. No more palace life. No more Fire Nation.
Zuko went a little rigid. "Then the answer should be obvious," he said, his tone somewhere between resigned and icy. "Go home, Katara. You're real home."
Sokka hung his head, looking put out. "Okay."
Katara let out a shaky breath, pulling her arms tighter around her ribs. Sometimes it felt like an icy hole had been ripped right through her chest. They say time heals all wounds but she had decided that whoever said that was off their rocker. Each passing second felt like agony. There were times when breathing actually hurt. Her appetite had decreased because of knots that now formed permanently in her stomach. She couldn't decide if she was literally sick, or if this ache had something to do with the hole.
Either way, she had tried to break past this pain, but it just wouldn't go away. Sometimes it would cease, leaving a dull echo of numbness. Those were the times she enjoyed; when she simply didn't feel at all. But then something would happen, a flicker of a memory would occur, and a stab through her chest would reawaken her to feeling.
Time started to blur together, and it often felt like she drifted somewhere between sleep and being awake. She wasn't entirely sure how long ago her birthday had been. How long ago she had sailed home from the Fire Nation. A few weeks? Months? She recalled every second of her birthday clearly. It was equally as wonderful as it was painful to remember. But that day was clear in her mind, and so was today. All the days between though, how she had gotten from her birthday to now, that was a blur.
"Hey Katara!" a voice called from somewhere in the distance. "Your grandmother wants to see you back at your hut. Says it's important."
Katara nodded and rose, not really sure who had spoken to her. When she looked around the plaza, it was completely deserted. Everyone must have gone home for dinner. How long had she been sitting there? Sokka probably got back by now with fresh fish.
Sighing, Katara made her way through the icy tundra, kicking bits of fluffy snow with her feet every couple of steps. She passed a few members of the tribe but only gave recognition to Bato, one of her dad's childhood friends. She waved at him as she passed, and he smiled back at her. Maybe that's why she didn't ignore him: he didn't look at her like she was crazy.
Inside her newly renovated home, a fire was kindling and Gran Gran sat next to it, stirring a pot with a ladle. Katara slipped out of her boots and held them out the entrance door. She smacked them together, letting the excess snow drift to the ground. Gran Gran looked up at the noise.
"I'm making your favorite," she said, sniffing the pot, "stewed sea prunes."
"What's the occasion?" Katara asked, setting her boots by the entrance door before taking a seat at their small wooden table.
"Thought you could use a little pick-me-up."
"I'm fine."
"My dear child, you are anything but fine." Gran Gran made a tsking sound and waddled her way over. When she looked at Katara, there was so much depth to her gaze. Blue eyes as dark as the ocean at midnight, eyes that seemed to read her soul. "And pretending otherwise is just silly."
Katara shrugged and looked away. "It doesn't really matter."
Her voice sounded pathetic and sad, even to her own ears.
A hard whack! on the shoulder made her jump. "Ow! Gran Gran—that really hurt!" she said, rubbing her arm. "What'd you do that for?"
Gran Gran had her ladle in hand, waving it wildly in Katara's face. She was relatively short, even for a woman, standing nearly at eye level with Katara, even though the young Waterbender was sitting down. Her tan face was worn with lines, but her age did little to limit her intimidation.
"My granddaughter does not mope!" she said, flipping prune juice on Katara's face with a wave of the ladle. "Not when she is her own reason for such behavior. I will not tolerate you feeling sorry for yourself any longer. Why are you still here?"
Katara blinked, shocked. "What are you talking about, Gran Gran?"
"I said, why are you still here?" Gran Gran repeated, her dark eyes narrowing.
"What are you talking about?" Katara felt ridiculous and lame, wishing she could come up with something more complex and intelligent, rather than repeating herself like an idiot.
Gran Gran—so normally cool, calm, and collected—looked very frustrated. A few pieces of grey streaked hair popped free of her bun. "I am talking about the fact that you hardly do any chores around here, you don't work on your Waterbending, you certainly don't hunt. You wander—you sit—you stare. You are a shadow of my granddaughter. A sad, lonely, empty little shadow."
Katara stared, fighting back tears. Gran Gran might as well have slapped her. She blinked, a tear slipped down her cheek. Gran Gran lowered the ladle, eyes softening.
"There," she said quietly, "that is what I was looking for."
"What's that?" Katara all but snapped, wiping under her eyes and turning away. "Tears?"
"Emotion," Gran Gran corrected. "Passion. I'm glad you found it."
Katara tried to smile. "I guess I didn't want to."
"There are times to mourn," said Gran Gran softly, wrapping an arm around Katara, "there are times for sadness and grief. There are times we must let things go, things that are not meant to be." Katara nodded, another tear leaking down. "But there are also times that we must hang on, even when it gets hard. We must not value our pride enough to let it ruin our lives, my child."
"What do you mean?" Katara asked, shifting to look at her grandmother.
Gran Gran stared at her a long moment with an odd look on her face, like she wasn't really here in this moment, but lost in a memory. "You look so much like your mother," she said quietly. "You remind me of her so much."
"I wish I could have met her," Katara whispered, her hand instinctively moving toward her necklace. "At least once."
"Oh but you have," Gran Gran said, enthusiastically.
"But…I thought my mom died when I was born."
"She did," Gran Gran said sadly. "But not before she named you, my dear. Not before you opened your eyes and looked at her. You may not remember, but you did meet her. And you will again, someday."
Another tear slipped down Katara's cheek. "I know."
"Until then, you must remember she'll always be watching you." Gran Gran pulled back and shook Katara once startling her. "And right now she'd be angry that you're letting your pride get in the way of happiness."
Katara knew where this was going and quickly stood up. "Gran Gran, it's not that simple."
Gran Gran scoffed. "Of course it isn't simple, Katara. This is life. There is nothing simple about it."
"Then what do you want me to do?" Katara pressed, a little heatedly.
"It's not about what I want," said Gran Gran softly. "This is only about you."
Katara scowled. "Thanks."
"But I can tell you that you can't run away from your heart forever. You will have to face him again."
"Who, Zuko? Katara snorted. "I don't think I'll be seeing him any time soon."
"Quite the contrary," said Gran Gran, going back to her pot. "You will see him in a week."
Katara jumped. "What?"
"You will be traveling with Hakoda and Sokka to Ba Sing Se, the capital of the Earth Kingdom. The Fire Nation royalty will be there, as well as the Avatar, The Northern Water Tribe royalty and Earth Kingdom royalty."
"Why?" Katara demanded, panicking. "Why are we going?"
"Peace treaties, of course," said Gran Gran, looking over at her with a look of concern. "You are still the Chief's daughter of the Southern Water Tribe, you know."
"Shouldn't councils or generals take care of this?" Katara asked, flushing. "Why hasn't anyone told me about this?"
Since when did her dad want to include her and Sokka on tribe issues and decisions? They had always been cast into the dark in the past. In the Southern Water Tribe, the Chief and his advisors handled everything; Katara and Sokka not included. Zuko and Azula on the other hand seemed very involved and informed. How did it work in the Earth Kingdom and Northern Water Tribe?
"Oh, they will, my dear," said Gran Gran, stirring the pot. "But you will be part of the United Royal Council, a council designed for all royalty of the three nations. A way to discuss privately with the leaders of all nations, without the complications of advisors and councils. You won't attend every meeting, Katara, but you will be part of it."
United Royal Council.
Neither her dad nor Sokka had mentioned this once. Did Sokka even know about it? Katara was almost positive this had been Lady Ursa's idea, a way to connect the nations' royal lines. It made sense, of course, but Katara wasn't ready to face Zuko yet.
You don't have a choice, a voice said to her. You will have to face him one way or another.
The problem, Katara thought, was that either two things were going to happen: She was either going to run into Zuko's waiting arms or she was going to walk away forever.
Katara had never been to the Earth Kingdom. Some part of her mind associated them as 'the enemy' and she imagined the land to be something dark and foreboding. That wasn't the case, however. As she rode in an ostrich-horse drawn carriage, her head hung out the window as she took in the glorious city. She had thought Caldera City was huge, but it was nothing compared to Ba Sing Se.
The buildings appeared to be made of stone, with wood supports and plaster covering the outside. Hakoda had said the color of roofing tiles on buildings indicate prestige and vary by ring. Lower Ring buildings have black or dark green tiles, Middle Ring buildings have vibrant green, and the Upper Ring nobility uses yellow tiles as a sign of the highest class. Katara saw the Lower and Middle Ring from the monorail she rode into the city. The Lower Ring was definitely for the poorer citizens, dull looking houses nearly stacked on top of one another. The Middle Ring was nice, and the biggest of all three. The buildings were more spaced out, the streets crowded.
But now they were in the Upper Ring, where the Earth King had arranged for them to stay in one of the upscale homes. Katara wondered if this was an act of kindness or a way to rub in their wealth and luxury. The homes were enormous, set in the grassy hills of the city. When the carriage stopped in front of a particularly beautiful home, Sokka bound out first to get a glimpse of it.
It was definitely impressive. Two floors, large stone structure, bronze and yellow tiled roofs and long windows. Not as big or luxurious as the palace at the Fire Nation, but still beautiful.
"Get settled," said Hakoda, eyeing the house with an impressive gaze. "We're meeting the Earth King bright and early tomorrow morning."
Katara could barely sit still.
She sat at a long mahogany table in one of the Earth King's many meeting rooms, fiddling with the hilt of a dagger she kept stashed under her belt. She sat next to her dad and a girl that had introduced herself as Princess Yue, princess of the Northern Water Tribe. She was beautiful, hair as white as snow and icy blue eyes. She wore more a light batch of makeup and was dressed in jeweled and glimmering blue robes. She had a kind face, a smile that made Katara instantly feel comfortable. Her father, Chief Arnook, had that same comforting expression, tan face lined with age.
Most of the seats on the opposite side of the table were empty. The Earth King Kumar sat at the head of the table, an elder man with hard face and dark brown eyes. His family, a wife and three sons, sat opposite Katara. The other seats would be filled with the Fire Nation royals any moment now. Katara wondered idly why, when ties were so fragile, the Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation would sit on the same side. Prove their peace, perhaps?
The room was tense with anticipation when a guard announced the arrival of Fire Lady Ursa and her companions. She strode into the room, looking every bit as glorious and intimidating as a leader should. Her only escort was General Iroh, the man looking as jovial as ever. Katara smiled at the general, and was more than pleased he returned it, not at all looking bitter or upset by her leaving.
And then she saw him. Something inside her cracked.
Zuko looked the same as she remembered, the same narrowed eyes, tall frame, messy brown hair. But his posture was stiff, his eyes hard, and he didn't even look at her or acknowledge her in any way. He greeted Hakoda, and even nodded at Sokka. Nothing for Katara, though. A good thing, she told herself repeatedly. And yet, even when he took a seat across from Sokka, she peered at him from under her lashes whenever she was sure he wasn't looking at her.
Just seeing him made her insides twist with guilt and pain and other emotions she didn't want to identify. He was sitting so close, yet he might as well of been miles away. He still wouldn't look at her, or if he did, she didn't see him looking.
Azula was the one that did the staring, taking the seat directly across from Katara.
Maybe it would have been better if Zuko had sat there, she thought, unable to meet Azula's penetrating stare. Lu Ten brought up the rear, and like his father, shot Katara a smile. A pitying one, like he knew how hard this was for her. She smiled back weakly before glancing away. Aang was the last to arrive, apologizing over and over for his lateness. The Earth King didn't find it at all amusing that Aang's tardiness was because he had been visiting the Ba Sing Se Zoo. Katara had to choke down giggles.
King Kumar dismissed his soldiers, a severe looking group of individuals dressed in dark greens, their hats covering their eyes in shadow. The Dai Li, the king informed the group, were his most trusted and skillful guards. Katara hadn't even realized so many of them were lurking in the shadows.
"Thank you all for coming," said King Kumar, in a gruff voice. He had extremely broad shoulders and graying short hair, under a tall emerald hat. He wore many gold rings on his fingers and gestured with his hands as he spoke. "It has been a tiresome and troubling journey till this moment when we can form proper treaties amongst all the nations."
Katara didn't miss the way he shot a look at the Fire Nation royals, as though this troubling journey was quite their fault.
"We are here because we all strive for the same purpose: to move forward from the war, and the safety and preservation and success of our nations. Now…"
The next hour or so went by in a blur. Katara sat in silence through most of the discussion, only responding when asked a direct question. Which didn't have often, but randomly her father would include her. Probably so she didn't feel meaningless, even though she did. Maps and charts were laid out along the table, territories and trade routes being marked. Katara was completely amazed by listening to everyone speak, especially the children and heirs. Only Princess Yue remained quieter than she, but that was probably because Chief Arnook paid her little attention on such matters.
Katara hated to admit that every time Zuko spoke, she listened with more interest. Not because she cared what he was saying, but because she missed his voice. She missed him. And she hated that.
Prince Loki was ruthless and controlling, that much Katara gathered just by listening to him for a short amount of time. He was the middle child of the Earth King's, possibly four or five years older than Zuko. It was very clear he did not trust the Fire Nation. He was conniving and slick, too, mixing insults with flattery and sarcasm. Zuko fell into his trap more than once, lashing out with that temper of his. Iroh had, like usual, broken up the fight with calm and rational reasoning. Zuko would then relapse in furious silence. Even Lu Ten snapped a few times at Loki—only Azula remained collected and calm.
So far.
"I don't understand the problem," Loki said, dark emerald eyes flickering toward his father. "We have pulled out all our soldiers—the Fire Nation is attacking without purpose or cause. Why should we continue our peace treaties when they continue breaking them?"
This was the current subject of debate. While Lady Ursa insists her soldiers would not attack offensively, the Earth King insists he has pulled out all his soldiers and they too, would not attack offensively.
"Are you saying our soldiers are deliberately going against orders?" Azula inquired, raising a delicate brow. Loki turned to her. "Do you find us so dishonorable, Prince Loki?"
"Yes," said Loki. He was quite tall, Katara thought, towering over both brothers that sat on either side of him. He didn't look at all bothered by this, either.
"You are angry," said Azula, reading his expression, "but not threatened or worried."
"Of course not."
"Then that is your first mistake, Prince Loki." Azula sat very still in her chair, hands crossed in front of her, not a hair out of place. "One of many, I'm sure."
"Azula…" Lady Ursa warned.
"No, m'lady, it's quite alright," said Loki, holding up a hand. He gave Azula a belittling smile. Another mistake, Katara thought. "I believe you have miscalculated, princess."
"The way you shift in your seat shows the stiffness in your back," said Azula, penning him down with her stare, "an injury, possibly from a number of things. The reddish scar on the inside of your left wrist shows more, though. A burn scar, most likely from a Firebender. You have a partial deafness in your right ear—you tend to turn to the left whenever someone speaks. Another injury. The faded bruise, just under the right eye."
Loki shifted in his seat. His face was unreadable, perhaps a little paler, even. Azula went on mercifully,
"So very interesting these recent injuries you've obtained. You are in charge of your own fleet, are you not? A fleet that just so happened to be spotted near our shores." Loki opened his mouth but Azula cut him off sharply. "Do not assume I do not know the comings and goings of my own nation, Prince Loki. I believe it is you who miscalculated. Your biggest mistake of all."
"What exactly are you implying, Princess Azula," said King Kumar, leaning forward with a dangerous glint to his eyes. "That Loki here is issuing the attacks and breaking treaties? My own son?"
"I implied nothing," said Azula, shrugging delicately, "but you certainly have, Your Majesty."
Loki looked furious. The next few seconds went by in a blur of movement and colors. Loki stood up, reaching for his sword. Katara moved quicker than she ever had in her life. She flung her dagger—when had she grabbed it?—across the table at Loki. It sliced into his hand, knocking his sword to the ground. The hilt stuck out of his palm. He yelled and jumped back, reeling in pain. Katara still had her hand up, shocked by her own action.
Everyone around the table had stood up, drawing their weapons and elements, but there was a moment when they all stared at Katara, shocked. And then suddenly she was surrounded by the Dai Li, pinning her to the ground.
A/N: Sorry, no Zuko/Katara interactions this chapter. Saving it for the next one..and it'll be a good one, I promise. ;) Now to answer a few reviews:
readingKs: "Since Zuko loves her and she obviousy likes him, as evidence from that kiss, why is he giving her an option out?" - Hehe, well, I think you sort of answer the question yourself. ;)
: "Why must you make so many twists?" - Baha to torture you guys! No, just kidding, lol. I realized that it made sense in the story that the contract could be void if the Earth Kingdom surrenders before they marry. And now at this point, years after Zuko and Katara first got betrothed, the water tribes are going to form an alliance with the Fire Nation anyway, regardless of the marriage.
NonsensicalLyrics: "That is SUCH and evil way to end!" - I have a serious problem ending with cliffies, haha. It's a disorder of some sort. :P Keeps you guys on your toes!
Now the big question I'm sure all of you are wondering: Why did Katara go back home? Before I answer, I want you guys to come up with your own answer in why you think Katara went back home. I'm curious. :D I'll answer in the next chapter to clarify.
