Chapter 9: Without You (song by Boyce Avenue)

Chloe Beale X Beca Mitchell

Prompt: The bed's always empty when you wake. It's always bare now that she's gone. You had your chance. And you didn't take it.

Chloe wakes, eyes slowly blinking. She no longer wore her normal smile on her face. She no longer felt bubbly. Instead, her eyes were blank, face unfeeling. How could everything had could've gone wrong went wrong? I loved her. So much. But she never had the chance to tell her.

I can't win, I can't reign
I will never win this game
Without you, without you
I am lost, I am vain,
I will never be the same
Without you, without you

Chloe could still remember the day she lost her like it was yesterday. The small brunette had yelled at her to hurry up. She had replied saying that the other girl go ahead without her, that she'd catch up later. Earlier that day, Chloe had decided that she was going to tell her how she felt that day. But when she caught up with Beca, she saw Jesse on the ground, on knee propped up, a giant smile on Beca's face. There was something shining from her finger. Chloe didn't have to look to know it was a ring. Beca turns, a look of glee across her face. Chloe takes a step back as Beca takes one forward. Beca's look of joy turns into one of concern and confusion as Chloe turns around and walks away.

That was the last day she saw the brunette.

I won't run, I won't fly
I will never make it by
Without you, without you
I can't rest, I can't fight
All I need is you and I,
Without you, without... You
Oh oh oh
You you you
Without
You you you
Without you

There was a wedding invitation the brunette had given to her best friend to give to her. Chloe took one look at the white envelope and threw the letter away in the trash. Why watch the love of her life get married when she could just sulk over the fact she missed her chance?

Can't erase, so I'll take blame
But I can't accept that we're
Estrange
Without you, without you

She sighs, getting up to go through her normal day actions. It was never thought through anymore. Chloe just did the automatic things in life. She never went out of her way to find the special coffee shop that had the better tasting coffee. She never went out of her way to arrange a meet-up with any Bella member. The most she did was hang with Aubrey. The blonde was the only one that knew of what the ginger was going through.

I can't quit now, this can't be right
I can't take one more sleepless night
Without you, without you
I can't look, cause I'm so blind
Lost my heart, I lost my mind without you
Without... You

Beca was never there anymore. After the third year ignoring the brunette, the younger girl finally took the clue and stopped knocking on her door. The younger girl stopped coming over for hangouts that would just be a date with her and the empty hallway with the door. The door Chloe wouldn't open. Beca never knew the real truth to why the bubbly ginger suddenly shut her out. Eventually, the girl shut her worries aside and left to be with Jesse. Her husband.

It broke Chloe that the brunette never knew. I mean, it was obvious what the ginger felt for her, right? All of the Bellas knew! Even Jesse knew! He just never told Beca. He saw how much pain she was in, but never told Beca.

Oh oh oh
You you you
Without
You you you
Without
You, you, you
Without you

A tear slips out of her eyes as she stares at the letter that she had read a few days ago.

Dear Chloe,

Where are you Chloe? I haven't seen you in years. What did I do wrong? Why did you just all of a sudden shut me out? I sent a mix that I made a couple years ago for you. I hope you get this letter and package. Maybe write back when you get this? It'll be nice to hear from you.

-Beca Mitchell

Easy for her to say all of that. Chloe thinks. She'll never know the truth. She'll never know what I wish for every day. "I'm lost without you, Beca. You know that? I'm so in love with you. Ever since the first day. I'm glad you tried to reach out to me. Because we both know I wouldn't have contacted you. I just wanted you to know this, okay? Don't hate me. I just have to say this. I love you."

The walls of her room don't answer back.

I am lost, I am vain,
I will never be the same
Without you, without you, without you.