Christmas Eve was as eventful as one would normally assume at the Harvelle holiday house. The second to last guest, the Winchesters and Gabriel, arrived to a house full of their favorite people.
"Where'd you pick up this beauty?" Sam asked Ash, admiring the seven foot tall tree that stood in the corner of the living room, illuminated by strings of multicolored Christmas lights.
"That little place that doubles as a pumpkin patch in October." Replied Ash in a tired voice. Sam remarked to himself for the third time since he had gotten there how tired he looked. Although, much like Kevin, who was rambling off some general nerdism to Charlie over by the kitchen, Ash had a habit of hitting the books a little harder than he could handle.
Sam turned towards his brother who was in the middle of watching some Christmas movie special on the television for that had been on all day.
"Have you seen Gabe?" Sam offered as a conversation starter. Gabriel had managed to slip off somewhere elsewhere in the house and Sam, while he wasn't actively looking for his boyfriend, hadn't seen him and was becoming worried.
Dean shook his head without turning to look at Sam.
"Nope, haven't seen him in…" Dean looked at his watch and made a face. "Since we got here." His attention returned to the cheesy special and Sam was left to his own devices, as he looked around and noticed everyone else was occupied with something.
Sam wandered the house, excusing himself when he bumped into a slightly tipsy Chuck. His feet led him back outside where he found Gabriel sitting on the front porch with a red plastic cup full of eggnog.
"Hey, Gabey, why aren't you inside?" Sam asked as he approached Gabriel. Gabe turned to stare up at him, but his gaze wandered back to the inside of his cup.
"I'm really nervous." He grumbled. Sam put an arm around him and pulled him close, only to have Gabriel growl at him and pull away. This wasn't something that could be mended by a loving touch. The anxiety wouldn't go away until the moment passed, and Sam knew this.
"I know, babe. I know. But," Sam sighed as he pressed his lips to Gabriel's head. "Look on the bright side- at least it's just Castiel."
"Whatever." Sam frowned but pulled Gabriel close to him again, thankful that this time he didn't pull away. They sat like that for a long moment, Gabriel with his head lazily on Sam's shoulder and a cup of eggnog almost slipping out of his lax hand, and Sam, his brows furrowed with worried and his arm draped protectively over Gabe.
That's when they saw a beat up white car pulling up into the driveway. Sam noted the confused and disheveled looking man in the driver's seat. Judging by the way Gabriel stiffened when the man park and began walking up towards them, Sam assumed it was Castiel.
Gabriel stood up with help from Sam's shoulder. Pressure and a few fingernails digging into his skin made Sam grunt, but he didn't shake Gabriel off, and stood up as well. He groped for Gabriel's hand only to be shaken away. Looking down, he noticed Gabe's hands had become fists, and had a feeling that he would have to intervene in a fight later that day.
Castiel stepped out of his car and immediately almost fell onto his ass. Sam stifled a laugh when Gabe shot him an angry look.
"Sorry." He mumbled into his hand when Gabriel looked back towards Castiel, who had regained his balance quickly and stood in his place. He stared at them through thick black glasses before he peeled his eyes away to open the back door of his car.
From the backseat he pulled out a medium sized duffle bag. Gabriel choked on his own breath.
"I never asked him to stay the night!" Sam saw that Gabe was now looking up at him with pleading eyes. Sam furrowed his brow sympathetically. The pain that he saw in Gabriel's eyes hurt him, and he was beginning to agree that inviting Castiel was a terrible idea.
"Maybe he's just…" Sam tried to think of some other reason that Castiel may have brought a duffel bag to the Harvelle's, but none of his ideas would make Gabe any happier.
Sam was unable to finish his sentence, because Castiel was finally standing in front of the two of them, his eyes flickering from Gabriel to Sam, and back again.
"Gabriel."
Gabriel crossed his arms against his chest defensively. Sam at least tried to be friendly and held out his hand, faking a smile. In the back of his mind, he was becoming even more worried by the second.
"Castiel, it's so great to meet you." Castiel looked down at his hand as if he was confused by the gesture. Sam's cheeks burned with embarrassment, and he cleared his throat. He returned his hand to his side, nudging Gabriel in the side with his elbow as he did so.
Gabriel flinched and glared at him out of the corner of his eye. He clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes, but eventually looked back up from his feet to Castiel, whose eyes hadn't left Sam's face. Sam squirmed uncomfortably under his gaze. It was like he was judging him, for whatever reason.
He probably was, as Sam thought more about it. After all, he was dating Castiel's older brother.
"It's good to see you, Castiel." Gabriel muttered through his clenched teeth. Castiel narrowed his eyes, obviously not very pleased with his brother's reaction, but stepped forward and wrapped Gabriel in an unsuspected hug.
Sam was unsure how Gabriel would react, but he assumed that it any form of affection from his brother would be unwelcome. He could only stare on helplessly as Gabriel grunted and shrugged away from Castiel's arms.
"Thanks- Thanks Cas."
"Thank you for inviting me, Sam." Castiel ignored Gabriel, and turned back to Sam, which didn't sit well with either of them.
Sam cleared his throat. He felt around for Gabe's hand, and upon finding it, he squeezed it hard. This helped Gabriel relax a bit, although Sam could still feel how tense his boyfriend was.
"Yeah, of course, any time, Castiel. It's great to meet you."
The three of them, Sam and Gabriel in the lead, walked awkwardly inside. They were greeted by Garth, who threw his arms around the both of them before he even noticed Castiel standing very confused behind them, staring down to the floor.
"Hey there, you strange little man!" Before Sam or Gabriel could stop him, Garth flung himself at Castiel and welcomed him with a hug. Castiel jumped and his eyes grew furiously wide, but there was no way for him to stop one of Garth's rib-crushing hugs.
"You must be Castiel. Gabe told us you'd be coming. And let me tell you," Garth lowered his voice dramatically, but Sam knew that he was only doing that for show, and he wasn't really about say anything secretive. "Your brother? Is a blast."
Castiel nodded. There wasn't much else he could do, really, and Sam had to stop himself from laughing at him a second time. He was aware of the wrath he would have to face from Gabriel if he did.
"I'm Garth Fitzgerald IV, by the way. Not sure if my boys here mentioned me yet." He gestured jokingly to the pair that stood in front of him and Castiel. Gabriel looked at Sam and mouthed What is he doing, but Sam could only shrug. Sometimes, Garth was a lot weirder than normal.
He grew on you, though.
Castiel shrugged his shoulders as well, though in response to Garth. He was looking back at his feet again. All of this attention on him was clearly making him uncomfortable. Sam felt slightly bad for him. He was being pushed into this life suddenly. It certainly wasn't what he was expecting when he had gotten back in touch with Gabriel.
"Well, anyway." Garth smiled wide at all of them and waved as he walked away, back towards the kitchen and Chuck, who had finally consumed enough alcohol to be considered drunk and was now giggling at something Jo was talking about.
"Nice to meet you!" He called over his shoulder.
Castiel looked up and smiled shyly at no one in particular. "You seem to have a lot of friends already, Gabriel."
"It's Sam's family. So they're my family too."
Sam looked down at Gabriel and tried to hide the shock on his face. Of course, he was very happy that Gabriel had called them his family, but it seemed like a threatening thing to say to your own brother. If he had been saying that to Dean, or vice versa, one of them would end up with a black eye and bloody nose.
Fortunately, Castiel took this lightly. He cleared his throat, finally taking a second to look around the room. The three of them stood in silence, Gabriel shifting back and forth from one foot to another, and Sam trying his damned hardest not to say anything to anger Gabriel, who was clearly in an uncomfortable place that moment.
"Why don't we, uh…" Sam cleared his throat and gestured towards the main living room. "Let's go sit down, we're still kinda standing in the doorway."
Gabriel didn't object when Sam led him away by the hand to the couch. Dean, who hadn't moved from the spot that Sam had left him in, didn't take much notice of them.
Sam noticed he did a double take when Castiel walked into the room, but only for a second before returning to the television.
"So, Castiel." Gabriel began. This surprised Sam, the fact that he was initiating conversation with the same brother he had punched in the face. "What's, uh… What's been going on with you? You told me you left Dad's over a year ago. So, what have you been doing since then?"
"I've been looking for you." The confusion in Castiel's tone was something that Sam found absolutely hilarious. It seemed like he was confused about pretty much everything. How much time did this kid spend inside?
"No, you idiot." Gabriel sucked in a breath through his teeth. Sam patted his hand reassuringly. Gabe sighed before speaking again. "What have you been doing with your life, I mean."
"Oh." Castiel rubbed the back of his neck with his hand and let his eyes dart around the room. Dean had stopped watching "It's a Wonderful Life" and was now paying attention to their conversation. Castiel's back was to him, but Sam couldn't help but notice that he was staring directly at the back of Castiel's head.
Weird.
"I'm in school, now. I, uh…" Castiel bit his lip and shifted under the gaze of both Sam and Gabriel (And Dean, but he wasn't aware of that yet). "I work from home. And take class from home. And shop from home."
Gabriel looked over his shoulder to Sam, who was just as confused. Turning his attention back to Castiel, he said, "So… when do you leave your house?"
"Oh, I don't."
The painful smile on Castiel's face made Sam's stomach twist. There had to be something seriously mentally wrong with him, but it was impossible for Sam to bring up his worries to Gabriel without Gabriel becoming defensive. Sometimes, the way Gabe flip-flopped with his feelings pissed Sam off.
That was something he kept to himself, too.
"Jesus, Castiel." The worry in Gabriel's voice made Sam smile and he touched his fingers lightly to Gabe's back. "Well, go!" Gabriel gestured to the rest of the room. The people milling around were drunk and happy, sharing the Christmas joy. Dinner was almost ready, by the sound of it. "You're supposed to socialize at a party, you know."
Castiel didn't move from his seat. He tilted his head.
"I was not aware." He spoke with scary precision, tiptoeing over his words carefully. Dean laughed, which elicited an unhappy glance from Gabriel.
But it was no surprise that Castiel was serious when he said he was "not aware". After establishing not only how messed up the Novak clan was, but how introverted Castiel was, how could one assume he had been to any kind of party before?
Gabriel sighed and shook his head. There was so much work to do with this one.
"Uh, hey, Ash!" Sam caught sight of the mullet-headed MENSA member, flagging him down just before he made his way back into the kitchen. Castiel seemed like he enjoyed an intelligent conversation, and who else could provide that but Ash?
"What's up, freaky dude?" Ash raised his hand for a high five from Castiel. Of course, the recluse had no idea what to do and only stared at him. Ash only shook his head and clapped his raised hand to Castiel's back, the force sloshing his beer around in his other hand.
"Who's the pale scared guy?" He asked when he looked to Gabriel. Gabriel's head was in his hands and now it was his turn to try and stifle his laughter. Sam rubbed a hand on his shoulder, and kissed the back of his head. Blue eyes stared them quizzically through big glasses, and Sam thought Castiel looked kind of like an owl.
"He's Castiel."
"Oh, yeah! Baker dude's brother." Ash nodded his approval to a still very much confused Castiel, who hadn't moved his eyes away from Sam. A loud noise came from the kitchen, and the four men on the couch turned to stare.
Of course, it was Garth. Sam rolled his eyes so hard you could almost hear it. One wouldn't think that a man could get so drunk so fast. Garth was an exception. After only one beer, he was tripping over his own two feet.
More than normal, at least.
"Hell yeah!" Ash pumped his fist in the air triumphantly. "It ain't a party until Garth goes crazy!" He retreated back to the rest of the party, who were all now gathering in the dining room for dinner. Thankfully, Jo and Ellen were still sober enough to remove the food safely from the oven and place them on the table so the family could eat.
Sam lead Gabriel to the table, and Gabriel continuously looked back over his shoulder to make sure that Castiel was following them. They sat down at the table with Cas and Dean across from them. Sam snickered under his breath at how uncomfortable they both looked, Castiel because of the large group, and Dean possibly because of the strange pale man that had just come into their home.
Dinner went smoother than expected. Castiel was polite, and had even started opening up and making small talk with the rest of the family. He and Ash got along swell, much to Sam's surprise. It was certainly astonishing at how smart the two were.
There was a small pressure on his thigh, and when he looked down, he saw Gabriel white knuckling near his kneecap. Sam pressed his hand gently to Gabriel's and frowned at his boyfriend's expression.
"What's up?"
Gabriel didn't say anything, but glared at him briefly before returning his attention to the rest of the table. It hadn't slipped Sam's mind how poorly Gabriel reacted to having family over on Thanksgiving. Was it only a matter of time that he ended up in the bathroom again, on his knees and trying not to vomit again?
The silent prayer than Sam had been muttering to himself seemed to pull through, because by the end of the dinner, Gabriel was smiling and engaging in conversation with everyone, including his brother.
"Gabriel, have you had your wings removed, yet?" Castiel asked after Ash had finally taken off to help Garth into bed. Wings? What was Castiel talking about?
Sam looked to Gabriel for answers, but instead he found Gabriel looking more than red in the face. He looked furious.
"Don't ask stupid questions." Gabriel's words were breathed angrily through his teeth.
Castiel tilted his head and leaned closer to Gabriel from over the table, like he was trying to analyze if his older brother was hiding something from him. "Your wings, Gabriel. The tattoos that you got with our brothers. I don't see how this is a stupid question."
It was much too late for Sam to remove Gabriel from the table and try to calm him down. The baker was already shaking where he sat, and Sam looked shocked to find Gabriel had begun to cry.
"Our brothers? You didn't even know them, so you shut your caketrap!" Gabriel pounded his fists on the table. Those that hadn't noticed the confrontation before were definitely looking now, and Sam felt his face burning hot with embarrassment. He hadn't suspected things would go this bad.
How he hated being wrong with such important things.
"They were my brothers, too, Gabriel! Not just yours!" It surprised Sam how defensive Castiel got, the scared and timid looking man raising his voice. It also surprised Sam the way that Dean lept up out of his seat to join at Castiel's side. What was up with is brother?
"Castiel!" Sam yanked Gabriel back by the sleeve of his shirt. There was no need for violence, and Gabriel had punched Castiel before. He wouldn't hesitate to do it again. "That's enough, okay?! You're making him uncomfortable!"
"Making him uncomfortable, Sammy?" Sam cast Dean a confused look when his older brother jumped into the argument, as if this was something he was a part of. "Dude, the guy just gets here and all of a sudden we're jumping his bones like he's a fucking criminal!"
"What the fuck, Dean?" Dean threw Sam a sassy look. Gabriel flinched under Sam's hand, which was still balled tightly around his sleeve. "He obviously knows how Gabriel feels about their family, so why does he feel the need to bring it up?"
"You know what-"
Dean began, but he's cut off by the sound of a loud toy blow horn. A few others swore along with Castiel, and covered their ears. Sam turned to look and see who had brought the end of the argument, only to find Jo standing there with her arm raised, and in her hand a red blow horn.
Two hands yanked Gabriel and Sam back from the table. Despite their yowls of protest, Charlie refused to let them go. Sam hated when she treated them as if they were children, but he supposed that it was their fault it had come to this. Charlie finally let her hands fall slack enough for them to wriggle away, turning to confront her.
Before they could say anything, she held her hands up for silence.
"Guys." She sighed, slinging her arms around them both. "If you can't play nice, don't play at all."
With that, she closed their bedroom door behind her and went back to join the others, possibly to console Castiel.
Gabriel threw himself face-first down on the bed and shouted profanities into a pillow. Sam's hand rubbing his back soothed him for about five minutes until he sat up and leaned into him.
"That went well." He mumbled into the curve of Sam's neck.
Sam only chuckled and kissed the top of his head. "Of course it did, babe."
The pair sat in silence, listening through the walls in case anything eventful happened in the other room. Gabriel was in Sam's lap; humming song to himself to help calm him down, and Sam periodically rubbed his back.
"Gabey?" Sam crooned after a while. Gabriel's breathing had become heavy, leaving Sam to assume he had fallen asleep on his chest. Gabe shifted and groaned at the sound of Sam's voice.
"Mmm. What's up, kiddo?" He raised a hand and rubbed the sleep from his eyes before looking up at Sam.
Sam was at a loss for words. For the third time that week, he couldn't help but think about how much he loved Gabriel. Not that he could ever tell him. Oh, no, that couldn't happen. It was too soon, and if he was being completely honest with himself, Sam thought that Gabriel was the type to flee from commitment.
"Uh." Sam cleared his throat. "I'm going to go talk to Castiel, okay?"
This got Gabriel's attention. He was fully alert in less than three seconds flat, adamantly shaking his head and crossing his arms against his hest.
"Hells no, bucko. That ain't happening."
"And why not?"
Sam scoffed when Gabriel rolled his eyes at him. Sometimes his boyfriend could be so flexible. Other times (And more often than not, really) he was as stubborn as Dean was.
"Because he's an asshole!" Gabriel's weak attempt to argue was wasted on Sam, whose mind had already been made up since the moment he opened his mouth.
"We're assholes, too, Gabe." Came his reply. It was true. They hadn't acted as civilly as Sam had hoped they would, and even if Gabriel didn't feel bad about it, Sam sure did.
Gabriel didn't try to continue the conversation, but instead sat on their bed and stared judgingly at Sam as he walked out the door.
Three knocks on Castiel's door made his head perk up. He hadn't been expecting any visitors, and certainly Gabriel wouldn't come to apologize. That wasn't in his nature. He had apologized once with Sam's pleading, and there was no way it was going to happen again.
When Castiel opened the door, Sam greeted him with a shy smile. There were no hellos exchanged. Instead, Castiel stepped out of the way and let Sam through, gesturing to one of the seats that sat in the corner of the room.
"Castiel, listen-"
"No, Sam. I understand." Castiel grumbled in his abnormally deep voice. He returned to his seat on his bed. "I must apologize, as well. I shouldn't have brought up bad memories for Gabriel."
Sam nodded. He couldn't find the strength to look at Castiel. The possibility that it would make things 'awkward' was too great.
"Can I ask you, though… What's with the wings? I mean…" Shifting around uncomfortably and clearing his throat, Sam looked up at Castiel. "What exactly is it that made Gabe upset?"
Castiel, much to Sam's surprise, let loose a small smile and scoffed deep in his throat before replying. "He has wings tattooed on his back. His brothers have similar ones."
Not entirely understanding yet, Sam only nodded and waited to see if Castiel would continue.
"It's considered the brand of the real Novak's. Frankly, I find it pompous and self-righteous. It was Lucifer's idea. Gabriel looked up to him like no brother I've ever seen."
This brought up an image of Dean in Sam's head, and Sam was forced to think about what he would have done without his brother. No wonder Gabriel was always so hurt all the time. If he had a relationship with Lucifer that Sam had with Dean, even with all the head-butting and fights, of course he would be broken.
Sam just wished Gabriel himself gave him more insight into his life, instead of hearing it from Castiel.
"Well, uh…" Sam shook his head to clear his thoughts. For the first time, he noticed how frightened and out of place Castiel looked, and he felt terrible for the way he had shouted at him earlier that night. "Listen, Castiel, thanks. For coming here and for finding Gabriel. I think what he needs the most right now is his family."
Castiel looked up from his hands, which he was twisting together with worry. He narrowed his eyes at Sam. "He has made it clear, Sam, that you're his family now."
This, of course, only made Sam feel worse.
"Give him time." Standing up, Sam walked towards the door. Had the temperature leaped suddenly, or was it just the uncomfortable feeling he got coming off of Castiel? "I know he still cares about you. Just… give him time."
Gabriel was fast asleep by the time Sam got back to their room. It wasn't late, but Gabriel must have been extremely worn out from all of the excitement of that day. Sam didn't want to wake him up, but it was inevitable when he clambered in beside him.
"What did you say?" Gabriel crawled as close to Sam as he could, lying halfway on his chest. Gabriel's warmth sent shivers down Sam's spine.
Sam sighed into Gabriel's hair. There wasn't much to say, and frankly, Sam just wanted to get to sleep.
"Nothing, baby. Don't worry about it." He breathed. Gabriel shifted onto his elbows to glare playfully at Sam, one eyebrow raised.
"Lying, Sammy? Tsk tsk." Gabe clicked his tongue and leaned in to plant a small kiss on Sam's lips. "I don't wanna have to spank you, but I'll do it."
This empty threat was funnier than it was sexy, and thankfully Sam knew that that's exactly how Gabe intended it.
"Shut up." Sam chuckled, returning the kiss. "He apologized. I apologized. That's all." While that wasn't entirely a lie, Sam still felt bad for not telling Gabriel the whole truth.
Gabe didn't seem to notice the pause in his voice before he said "That's all", and snuggled back up on top of him to fall asleep.
Sam felt Gabriel shift around next to him later on in the night, but didn't bother to take any notice of it. As long as he didn't leave the bed, Sammy was content.
The smell of pancakes and bacon woke Gabriel up before Sam. He nuzzled Sam awake like an anxious puppy (not bothering to forget the loving licks to the face, something that Sam hated more than anything, but put up with because it was Gabe, after all, and if there was one thing that Sam had learned in the last month, it was that the both of them were just overgrown puppies.)
There was no rush to brush teeth or put on clothes. They laid around for another half an hour, exchanging lazy kisses and playful pokes and prods, one challenging the other to get out of bed first.
Whoever had started banging at their door as soon as they had just gotten comfortable again was the deciding factor on how their morning would go, and soon enough Gabriel rolled out of bed right after Sam. He didn't want to be away from his lover's side for even a second, something that made Sam much happier than it possibly should.
Gabriel had just finished tugging on one of Sam's oversized sweaters when he bumped absentmindedly into his brother as soon as he walked out of their bedroom.
Sam nearly crashed into Gabe, who had to stop abruptly from knocking a half-asleep Castiel over. It was in his right mind to usher Gabriel away before a fight broke out. Lord only knew that was the last thing they needed, but his worries were soon soothed and he saw Gabriel crack a half smile and nudge Castiel in a friendly way.
"Listen, Cassie," From the look on Castiel's face, Sam assumed that had to be some childhood nickname used to make him uncomfortable. "I'm sorry shit got heated last night. You know how it is."
"Yes, Gabriel." Castiel smiled, but in more of a confused fashion than an understanding one. "I do know 'how it is.' And I do forgive you."
No more words were exchanged between the two as they walked simultaneously down the hallway. Sam couldn't help but think that it really did feel like Christmas, now.
The living room welcomed them with all the holiday cheer it had to offer. Surveying his surroundings, Sam found Garth and Charlie decorating the tree, with Kevin drinking the first of five coffees Sam knew he would inevitably end up consuming.
Jo and Ash were nowhere to be found, though it was likely that they were outside with Dean in the snow. Bobby and Ellen could be heard in the kitchen bickering about something or another to do with breakfast, and Sam smiled.
This was home. This was family. And with Gabriel's snarky ass beside him, he couldn't imagine anything becoming any better.
"Hey, check it out! The honeymooners decided to roll out of bed!" Sam snapped his head around to find Chuck in nothing but his boxers and a robe, sipping coffee as well.
"Don't you wear anything but your underpants, Chuckster?" Gabe teased, only receiving an eyeroll in return. Thank God Gabriel found himself hilarious. It wasn't taken to heart at all, and when Chuck pushed past he wiggled his eyes playfully at Gabriel, who in turn looked at Sam and winked.
They all sat down for breakfast, Dean, Jo, and Ash storming inside as soon as Kevin called out to them that it was time to eat. They were covered in snow and Ellen snapped at them for not bothering to wash up before they came to the table.
Sam watched Gabriel's reactions carefully. Last night was fine, but there was no way for him to know how well or how poorly Gabriel would react to a large family breakfast on Christmas that included his own little brother.
Gabriel showed no signs of any bad reactions externally, thankfully, and when they stood up to clear the table, Sam wrapped him in a tight hug.
"What's up, Samoose?" Asked Gabriel, confused but not unaccepting of the surprise gesture of affection.
Sam only laughed and squeezed him tight once before letting him go.
"You're pretty."
Gabriel slapped him away playfully before he retreated to the living room with the rest of the family, who had started passing out gifts. Gabriel was surprised to find a fairly sizable pile with his name scrawled all over each of the presents.
At the end of all the wrapping paper and cards and warm words of thanks, the only person left without anything was Castiel, though he didn't seem to mind much. He was more or less observing everyone.
The interested look on his face reminded Sam of something, and he fished out a small rectangular box out of his pocket. He pressed it to Gabe's hand and nodded to Castiel when Gabriel turned to question him about it.
Castiel studied the box intently once Gabriel passed it over to him. Sam thought for a second that perhaps he couldn't comprehend the idea of a gift, but he eventually peeled his eyes away from it and carefully took apart its wrapping.
The box underneath revealed nothing more special than a gift card for Castiel to use at whatever store he pleased.
The embarrassment on Gabriel's brother's face was something that Sam hardly expected, but regardless, Castiel started blubbering something about needing to excuse himself.
He certainly had everyones attention when he returned with three jars of what Sam could only assume was honey. Castiel stumbled a few times and if it hadn't been for Dean, who stood up as soon as he saw him loose his footing, he would have dropped all three jars on the hardwood floor.
"I-I have honey. I bought it online. I have a dealer."
The idea of an online honey dealer sent a ripple of laughter through the rest of the crowed. All but Dean, of course, who was taking this much more serious than Sam had expected him to. Normally his brother would be laughing his ass off at something that ridiculous, but he stood at Castiel's side and glared at everyone else.
"Thanks, Cas. We really appreciate it." Gabriel said finally after wiping tears away from his eyes with the sleeve of the sweater he was wearing. He took the jars and sat them in the kitchen. Castiel let himself smile a little bit before taking a seat next to Dean, who had returned to sitting cross-legged on the floor.
There was nothing entirely eventful about the rest of the day. Sam was pleased to see that Gabriel and Castiel took some time to talk to each other like civilized people, but Sam and Dean both stood an arm's length away in case things got hairy.
The evening came without so much as the tiniest argument, much to Sam's relief. Charlie suggested board game that they all play, though most of the gang sat that one out and decided to just watch instead.
Castiel made a game of Clue about ten times more exciting than it would have been without him. He had obviously never played this before, mumbling to himself how he'd rather be playing Sorry or Twister. This left Sam to wonder who the hell he had been playing Twister with to begin with.
It was hard to ignore Dean, though, too. He continuously made wary glances towards Castiel, as if the younger man was a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. Sam made a mental note to ask Dean about that later, but for now, it was much more enjoyable to just watch Castiel become distraught when he didn't win Clue.
Sunset was approaching fast, and it had finally occurred to Sam that Christmas would soon be over and they would all have to go back to their normal lives, as unappealing as that sounded.
Thankfully for him, he had the greatest friend in the world.
Charlie pulled him aside before she retreated to her bedroom. The urgency on her face worried Sam a little bit.
"What's up?" He asked as his eyes darted around the room. If this was about Gabriel and Castiel fighting again, they would probably have to leave. That would be embarrassing.
But from where he and Charlie stood, he could see Gabriel in conversation with Garth, a huge smile plastered on his face. Okay, so it obviously wasn't that.
"You totally love him."
Sam's head snapped to the right as he turned back to face Charlie. Why did she have to sound so accusatory about it? It wasn't a crime to love someone, after all. He scoffed at her and rolled his eyes, but it was impossible to hide the rising heat in his cheeks. Had he really been that oblivious about it?
"Don't roll your eyes at me! It's not like it's some big secret, I mean," Charlie laughed quietly to herself. "You two are falling over each other every second of the day and he follows you like a puppy dog. It's disgusting."
Knowing that Charlie didn't mean that in a bad way at all, Sam shared in a little laughter himself.
"Yeah, well, I haven't told him yet, so just keep it to yourself, okay?" He pleaded with her. If there was one thing in the world he could do, it was trust Charlie.
Charlie only groaned at his request and squirmed, as though she was conflicted between keeping Sam's trust and spilling everything out to Gabriel. "Fine but you need to tell him before it makes you crazy. Trust me-" She held up her hand and sighed. "You want an answer before this drags on any longer."
An answer? What was she talking about. After she had stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek before turning tail and heading to bed, Sam realized that she not only wanted him to tell Gabriel about his feelings, but ask for them in return.
That wasn't anything less than terrifying.
How could she ask that of him? It was only a month, after all. And it wasn't his fault he fell in love easy. Gabriel didn't have to love him. As long as he didn't leave him, was that really so bad?
Before he knew what he was doing, Sam approached Gabriel, who was now standing by the window with a mug of hot chocolate, and tapped him on the shoulder.
"Oh- hey, kiddo." Gabriel turned to look at him but must have noticed the troubled expression on Sam's face. "Everything okay in Sam-land?"
The gentle tone of his voice sent shivers down Sam's spine and damn it he hated what Gabriel could do to him just by talking and he swore he would be dead by the next week if he kept up the sweet talk.
Sam cleared his throat and forced a smile. Anxiety was building, fast. Worries started to cloud his head and he had almost drifted out completely if it hadn't been for Gabriel's sweet voice pulling him back to earth.
"Hey, sweetheart, you alright?" Gabriel lifted his hand to cup Sam's face and when Sam saw how worried he looked, he felt instantly guilty.
"Yeah, Gabey, I'm alright." A genuine chuckle escaped Sam's throat and he leaned down to peck Gabriel on his cold nose. "So, there's a lake a few minutes from here. I know it's cold but I thought since we keep blankets in your car we could maybe just hang out there for a bit." Sam paused and cleared his throat. "I'm not, you know, really tired."
Gabriel gave him a funny look, making Sam uncomfortable, but it broke into a smile when he nodded. "What are we waiting for?"
Gabe drove his car from the Harvelle house to the lake five minutes down the road. They didn't speak the entire ride, but it was a comfortable, knowing silence. When they had finally reached their destination, Sam popped open the trunk of the station wagon and piled eagerly in.
Gabriel took his time, turning the car off, stretching as if they had just been for an hour ride. Sam grumbled impatiently, and Gabriel laughed at him when he clambered in.
"Damn, Sammy, I hate when you get all romantic on me." He said in a soft voice when he finally settled himself down in Sam's arms on top of the blankets Gabe pelt piled in the back of his car.
Sam scoffed at him. "It's not my fault you have such a romantic car."
"Hey, don't call my boy romantic." Gabe tried to sound annoyed, petting whatever part of the car he could currently reach. Sam chuckled deep in his throat. He couldn't tell if Gabriel was mocking Dean, but if he was, it wasn't the worst impression in the world. Everyone knew that Dean was in love with that damn car.
"So, you and Cas seem to be getting along." Sam said after a few minutes. He had lied previously- he definitely was a little bit tired. Talking should wake him up, though, and he sat up to engage Gabriel in conversation.
"Yeah, he's weird but I guess I can't hate him as much as I hate everyone else. I mean, he did leave, you know?" Sam nodded and pressed his lips to Gabriel's hair.
"So, I have to ask- Adam. You mentioned him before. Your half-brother?" Gabriel paused when he felt Sam stiffen uncomfortably beneath him. This clearly wasn't something Sam was entirely comfortable talking about, but Gabriel liked to push. "Why isn't he around, again?"
Sam didn't reply. He stayed silent for a few minutes. The answer was right on his tongue, and he could taste the harsh bitterness of it. It was a mix of guilt and hypocrisy and he didn't want Gabriel to get angry with him.
"He hates us." Sam finally muttered quietly. "And I guess Dean and I were jealous of him, because Dad spent more time with him than he did with us."
It was Gabriel's turn to stay silent now as he mulled over Sam's answer. Sam readied himself for Gabriel's sharp retort but it never came. He highly suspected that Gabriel would chew him out for griping about his daddy issues when Gabe's were clearly much worse.
"I'm sorry, babe. But hey, now we both have a huge family that pretty much rocks, right?" A strange warmth filled up in Sam's chest with Gabriel's words. The smaller man was curled up halfway on Sam's body, with his chin resting on his hands that rested in turn on Sam's chest.
It was difficult for Sam to form words. His eyes were just glued to Gabriel and he traced every single detail that he loved about him in the curve of his face. That self-righteous smirk, the hair that never seemed to stay in one place, his odd looking nose that seemed sometimes too big for his whole damn face but other times seemed smaller than normal, depending on the angle.
"Sammy-boy, you're looking at me funny." Gabriel's brows furrowed, and his voice once again brought Sam down from wherever he had been previously.
All of a sudden, Sam's entire body felt weak and when he tried to lift Gabe closer to him, he faltered. Thankfully, Gabriel wanted to be closer too, so he straddled Sam's lap and pressed his forehead to the curve of Sam's neck.
There was no time like that very moment for Sam to tell him.
God, this could end very, very bad…
"Gabriel, look at me, please." Sam guided Gabriel by his chin towards his face. They were barely an inch away from one another now. He was afraid that Gabe would feel his rapid heartbeat under his sweater.
"I love you."
Gabe was expressionless for a while. I swear to God I'm about to have a heart attack. Sam thought to himself when he could hear his heart in his ears. Gabriel didn't seem to notice.
Finally, after staring at him for what seemed like years, Gabriel cracked a smile and chuckled awkwardly.
"Aw, come on, Sammy." Great, Sam thought. He's trying to change the subject. Gabriel continued, but didn't peel himself away from Sam's body. "You can't just start taking home strays like little ol' me. Big bro Dean-o might have a conniption."
This was not as amusing for Sam as it was for Gabriel. Instead of giving up altogether, Sam figured he had one more shot at this. If Gabriel didn't love him yet, that's fine. But there was always hope.
"I love you. I really, actually love you."
This time there was something on Gabe's face that told Sam he had picked the best possible moment to let his feelings be known.
Sam wrapped his arms around Gabe's waist, in turn, Gabriel twined his arms around Sam's neck. They were nose to nose, and their breath came out in whisps of steam, proving just how cold it was. But neither Sam nor Gabe could feel the chill of winter gnawing at their bones.
"I love you, too." Gabriel whispered against Sam's lips and if that wasn't as soppy as it got, Gabe didn't know what was. He no longer cared. All that mattered was him and Sam, in the back of his station wagon on the last night of Christmas, together, like this, for as long as possible.
And so it goes, and so it goes.
And you're the only one who knows
