A/N: Thank you again, as always! The next chapter should bump things up a notch, but we had to get some important things out of the way first. :] There's still so much to be resolved and Elsie still has no clue about the rest of her surprise!
Charles looked up at the light knock on the door, not expecting anyone this late. Well, anyone but Elsie, if she decided to see him, and she never knocked. He stood to open the door when he saw the eyes he knew so well peeking through. "Elsie. Come in."
"I didn't know if you'd still...I only mean that it's late and I didn't know if you might want to put off our discussion for another day." She hadn't looked at him since she walked into the room.
He paused as he closed the door. "Did you? Want to put off our conversation?"
Elsie sighed and finally met his gaze. "No, Charles. No, I don't."
He felt the tension in his shoulders dissipate just a bit and he walked over to the chairs he had pulled out in the hopes that she would come to him. He motioned for her to sit and was a bit flustered when she shook her head.
"I'm fine, thank you. I would rather just get this out of the way, Charles."
He nodded. "Elsie, I'd like to explain everything. I just don't know exactly where to start."
"Charles, wait. I'd like to say something before you explain anything."
He leaned against his desk, fighting memories of Elsie on the same desk, hands knotted in his hair. "...alright."
"I'm sorry that I was so upset with you this afternoon. I suppose I let my own insecurities and feelings get in the way of proper judgment. A friend helped me to realize that. I do only want you to be happy, Charles, whatever that means."
He felt that he wasn't doing an especially good job of hiding his confusion. "You know that I feel the same."
She tried to manage a smile but he saw right through it, he always did. "Well then. Miss Davies."
He sighed and stood, pacing as he spoke, feeling ridiculous for being so nervous. He had spoken to this woman every day of his life about things great and small for over twenty years, and here he was having trouble even beginning. "Elsie, Miss Davies went into town along with Anna to choose a pattern and fabric that I asked them to find for me. I couldn't spare the time away from the house and I didn't think it appropriate or comfortable to spend the afternoon in a dress shop myself."
"Anna?" Elsie was feeling more foolish by the minute.
His brow furrowed, "Yes, Anna. Actually, it was Anna's opinion that I wanted, I only asked Miss Davies to go along as an afterthought."
Elsie bit her lip and took in everything that he was saying. "But why did you need fabric in the first place? And why did you require, how did you put it, "a female opinion?"
He slowed his pacing and walked toward her. His eyes were warm but his face was serious as he spoke quietly. "Elsie, the fabric was for a dress. For you."
Her head shot up and she was startled at how close he was standing. "What?"
He sighed and took a step back. "I was trying to surprise you. I didn't...I haven't done a very good job of it, I suppose."
Elsie struggled to process what he was saying but all she could seem to think was how very, very foolish she had been to ever doubt this dear man. "Why would you want to surprise me?"
Charles looked directly at her and her breath caught at the love she saw there. "Because you deserve something wonderful."
She smiled and didn't pull away when he took her hand, fingers ghosting over hers in tiny circles.
"Charles, I don't unders..."
Before she could finish her thought, was there a thought to finish?, his lips crashed to hers, desperately hoping that this touch could convey all that he was unable to say with words.
When he pulled away he pressed his forehead to hers and tried to catch his breath. "The dress, it's only a part of what I'd wanted to do for you...I needed some way to tell you...to show you how much...how I was..."
She brought a hand to his cheek and pressed a soft kiss to the side of his mouth. "Shh. I don't want to know."
He pulled back in surprise. "You don't want to know?" His heart fell a bit. Maybe she didn't want any of it. Maybe he had misread everything between them and she truly did only want what they already had...no, that would never be enough for him.
She smiled as she made her mind up, hoping that her next words would serve as a kind of apology for the stress she had caused him today, "No, Charles. I don't want to know. Knowing a surprise tends to kill the joy of receiving it and you've gone to so much trouble already. Surprise me."
He smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer and kissing her nose. "Then I shall do my very best." He pulled her head to his chest and kissed the hair he loved so.
She floated for a minute in the warmth of his embrace before reality came slowly back down to her. She waited just a moment longer before she slowly pulled away.
At his lack of understanding she turned away. "Charles, as nice as," she motioned between them a bit shakily, "this is, it isn't just the fact that you wanted to speak with Miss Davies that was bothering me."
He nodded slowly, "Oh?"
"When I came looking for her I heard part of your conversation." She blushed and ran a hand over his desk in distraction.
"You heard part of our conversation."
He smiled as he saw her eyes roll and her temper flare, "Oh, alright, Charles, I was listening to part of your conversation, that's hardly the point."
He chuckled a bit and walked toward her, "But Elsie if you heard our conversation then you already knew about the dress."
She whirled around to meet him. "What? No, I didn't. I only heard the more personal nature of your conversation. That's why I was upset Charles." Her voice lowered to lower than a whisper and lost it's venom, "That's why I am upset."
Charles clenched and unclenched his fists. He had had quite enough of beating around the bush today. He was not a man that enjoyed being lost in a conversation and was tired of feeling confused.
"There was no personal part of the conversation. She came to give me the fabric and then she left after receiving a rather uncalled for dressing down by a very angry housekeeper."
Elsie rolled her eyes. "Charles please don't start lying again. Not after we've been trying to clear everything up."
Charles raised his voice a bit in frustration, frustration bordering on anger if he was being honest. "Elsie I would appreciate it if you could refrain from making accusations when they have no basis in fact!"
"I heard her with my own ears, Charles!"
"Heard her what?!"
Elsie fidgeted with her dress, reluctant to repeat what had hurt her so. Thankfully, she didn't have to as realization finally dawned on Charles. He rushed to her side and pulled her chin up.
"Ooh, Elsie, no. You must have...you must have misunderstood. Oh, love. You've misunderstood everything."
Elsie shook her head, searching for something to say but coming up short.
He ran his hands down her arms, taking her hands in his and bringing them to his lips. "Silly woman. We were discussing you."
"What?"
"What I'm sure you heard, when Miss Davies was telling me...she was talking about you, Elsie. She brought me the fabric and was, understandably I suppose, a bit curious about our relationship. That's what you heard."
Elsie shook her head again, trying to back away a bit. "Charles, I don't...oh, Charles."
How could she have gotten everything so very wrong?
"Oh, and the way I snapped at that poor girl. And you! Oh, Charles. I feel like such a fool."
He smiled and led her to a chair. "You're not a fool. At least not completely."
She looked at him sharply as he sat beside her. "I suppose I deserved that."
"Elsie I just simply cannot understand how you could have possibly thought that I saw something in Miss Davies."
She concentrated on her hands. "Well it isn't a completely crazy notion, Charles. She's very pretty. Sweet. She's good at what she does. And you seem to have taken to her very nicely."
He smiled a bit. "I have taken to her. She's a perfectly fine woman. She reminds me of you."
Elsie nodded. "That's what I was afraid of."
He shifted in his seat. "I don't understand."
"Charles, without sounding too terribly conceited I have to say that I do see a bit of myself in Miss Davies. But it's been a long time since I've been that girl, a long time indeed."
"Is that what this is about? You feeling that you're past your prime?"
Elsie smiled a bit and looked at him sideways. "Well, I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, Charles, but we're both a bit past our primes."
He took her hand and scooted closer to her. "I'll have you speak for yourself, woman."
She struggled with whether or not to continue, finally deciding that she might as well be honest while they were here. She took a deep breath and tried to find a bit of fire. "Charles, I don't think it's difficult to understand how I came to the conclusions that I did. You and I, we've been teetering on the edge of something for years now, but nothing ever comes of it. After a while I began to think that nothing ever would. That you didn't want it to."
He swallowed roughly. He couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. How could she possibly think that he didn't want her? That he didn't love her with everything that he was? Had he really done such a poor job of showing her how he felt? His heart ached at the thought that he had caused her even a moment of doubt, a second of feeling unwanted. There was no time like the present to rectify the situation.
"Elsie, I'm so sorry."
She squeezed his hand. "Don't be silly, Charles. It isn't your fault."
He moved to the very edge of his seat, pulling her hands as close to him as he possibly could. "No, Elsie, it is. If you've gone a single day feeling unwanted than I will spend the rest of my life apologizing. I've gotten everything so wrong. I thought that you didn't want...that you didn't want anything more."
Her heart jumped in her chest, "Why would you think that?"
He sighed, "The times that we've been close, I can always feel you pulling away. I would never push you, Elsie, I would never want you to feel uncomfortable or pressured, especially from me."
After a moment he was startled by her quiet laugh that grew with intensity until he was joining her, not knowing why they were laughing at all. "Oh, Charles...my god, we're such fools."
She stood and pulled him with her, wrapping her arms around his waist as she did. "I only pulled away because I thought that you didn't...you always seemed to stop, to rethink everything."
He smiled looking down at her before his face darkened a bit. "Oh, Elsie. I have always, always wanted you. I can't even look at my desk without...well, without thinking of you."
She blushed and stood on her toes, intending only a kiss of apology and forgiveness. She hadn't anticipated the rush of fire that ran down her spine or the way that his hands found their way immediately to her waist and then lower. He walked her backward toward the desk and deepened their kiss as he lifted her.
She whispered his name and knotted hands in his hair as his mouth moved down her neck, tasting and nipping at her collar bone, relishing every sigh that he drew from her perfect mouth.
The knot in her stomach was the only reminder that it was at this point that he slowly pulled away, that she made an excuse to go upstairs, that they both went to bed frustrated and upset.
She wasn't going to let that happen tonight.
