NINE – LONLIENESS
She stood on the shore by Costa Del Sol watching the sunset, a small smile on her face. This was where she liked to be, in the wild watching the sun go down over the beautiful blue sea. The sky was a gorgeous purple colour, mixed in with oranges and reds. Parked behind her was a small, beaten up truck that she had brought from one of the men in Rocket Town. He hadn't asked her what she wanted it for for, had only asked for a couple of thousand Gil in return. He hadn't watched her throw her belongings into the back and get in behind the wheel and speed away from the village.
She felt bad for leaving the gang like that, but she felt like she had to. The incident with Vincent had shaken her up something chronic, and made her question everything she felt for Reno. And now she was alone, she was certainly doing a lot of thinking. She hadn't thought she felt anything for Vincent, but after last night she wondered if she did actually love him. What she felt for Reno was unquestionable. She was head over heels in love with him, and being apart from him tore her apart inside. But what was she feeling for Vincent? Frowning, she sat down on the sand and picked up a small stone, running it over in her fingers before throwing it out into the water.
"You made a big mistake leaving…" she muttered to herself, "Could have ruined everything…"
But she needed the time alone, to work out what it was she actually wanted. She hadn't known Reno long enough to know if she were truly in love with him or not. Maybe it was stull that silly school girl crush that she had all those years ago? She sighed and tried to shake the thoughts away, but they wouldn't leave her alone. Every time she closed her eyes she saw Reno, with his sexy half smile or Vincent looking at her with those smouldering eyes. What was happening to her? Why was she so torn?
Sighing she stood up and moved back over to the truck. She imagined the others would be following her by now, and wanted to be in and out of Gongaga quickly. She didn't know what was waiting for her there but she didn't want to put them in any danger. She was the one this was happening to, and she should be the one to stop it. She opened the door of the truck and got in, resting her hands on the wheel. It was a long way to Gongaga, and she doubted she would get there before nightfall. And she hoped there would be an inn so she could get some rest. If not, well she would get the things done she needed to quickly and then get straight back on the road. She felt far too wired to sleep as it was.
With a sigh she fired up the engine and shifted the gearbox into drive.
***
You keep on trying to fight me Elizabeth
She bit her lip and ignored the voice in her head. But she couldn't, he was being too loud tonight, "Shut Up…" she muttered.
Now now Elizabeth. That's no way to talk to your brother
"You're no brother of mine!"
Whether you like it or not, we are siblings. You know you have my cells in your DNA, thanks to our dear father
"You hated Hojo"
Hate yes, I still realise that he created me as strong as I am. And you too, sister. We are one and the same
"You're starting to sound like Kadaj…" she pulled the car over and gazed at the small peak of the Gongaga reactor that was peeking above the trees.
Kadaj was a failure. You don't know why you are here do you?
"Not a clue, enlighten me why don't you?"
Gongaga is where Zack Fair came from, the young SOLDIER who was shadowing me. He was a brave and loyal young man, who followed me to Mount Nibel to try and stop me. He took something of mine that day…
"What? Like your favourite pair of gloves or something?"
Close your eyes Elizabeth. You see me? Good. Notice my sword, the point is missing. Zack Fair sent that point back to his parents just before he died. If I am to materialise back into this world, my sword must be complete.
She raised an eyebrow, "You need your sword to be complete so you can come back? That's so lame. How'd you manage it last time?"
Kadaj was my host. This time I will not use a host, instead I will draw on your power and the power of the lifestream. But I need my sword to be complete. I need to be complete.
She shrugged, "Whatever…I'll get the damn sword piece but only if it means I can run you through later on"
The laughter that met her ears chilled her to the bone You would be dead before you could even unsheathe your sword
"Yeah, shut up now Sephy, I got a job to do. And if you don't mind, I think I could do with a nice stuff drink to tide me over…"
A whiskey to help you remember your beloved Reno? Or how about a glass of blood red wine to remember the stolen kiss from Vincent?
"SHUT UP!"
He went silent and she breathed a sigh of relief as she grabbed her sword from the backseat and clipped it onto her belt. Almost immediately she felt more comfortable within herself having it by her side again. She locked the truck and slid the keys into her pocket before heading into the forest that surrounded the village of Gongaga.
Rumour had it that the forests surrounding the village were haunted after the disaster that caused the Mako reactor to explode. So many townspeople had lost their lives that she guessed some of them would stay on in their homes. The thought of it made her sad, reminded her of the rector accident that had happened back in Coral all those years ago. So many young men had lost their lives for that too, including the man she had once called Father. She sniffed back tears as she wandered the winding paths through the forest towards the village. She stopped at one of the junctions and stared up towards the ruined reactor, wondering how exactly it had happened. She supposed it was just a simple explosion. But since when was anything simple?
The village was not far ahead, so she kept on walking, stifling yawns as she went. She was tired after a long day's driving. She had left Rocket Town early that morning before anyone else was awake and had only stopped once for a break. Her vision was starting to blur and she wanted more than anything to kick back in a bar and drink something before heading to bed. The bar would indeed be her first port of call.
The trails were seriously overgrown, and she pushed her way through the long creepers and grasses. This was the only way into the village that she knew of, but it was so overgrown that she doubted any of the villagers used this route anymore. Thorns snagged her coat as she fought her way towards the village entrance, and she fought to free herself before eventually falling in a heap in front of a very confused looking young man.
"You allright?"
She looked up, her face red with embarrassment, "Uh…yeah…"
She pulled herself to her feet and brushed herself off before looking at the youth. He looked slightly too young to be out at night. As she turned to face him properly, he gasped and took a step back. She raised an eyebrow
"What?"
"You look like…Him!"
She grinned, "I have been told that before. Don't worry kid, I'm nothing like Sephiroth…look, I'm a traveller, and I'm lookin' for a place to stay, maybe a bar?"
The kid nodded, "The inn is that big building over there" he pointed to one of the only buildings that still had ligyt blazing from the front window, "There's a bar in there too. Don't think there's many people stayin' at the moment, so you might be left in peace…"
He scarpered off, sparing a fearful look behind him as he disappeared into the night. She smiled after him before trudging towards the welcoming inn. As she pushed the door open, the heat of the fire hit her square in the face, making her laugh in delight. A gaggle of voices met her ears, and they all sounded cheerful and welcoming. Closing the door behind her, she was greeted by a large, red faced innkeeper.
"Well hello there young lady, and how may I be of service to ye?" He spoke with a strange, old world accent that made her smile. It wasn't often anyone spoke like that anymore.
"I'd like a room for the night, if you have any spare?" She asked, with a smile, "And a triple whiskey, on the rocks"
"Ah, a lass that likes her drink! You must have had a hard days travellin' to warrant such a strong drink!"
She shrugged and took her coat off, draping it over one of the bar stools. And she noticed how all eyes were immediately drawn to her sword. With a smile, she unhooked the sword and leant it against the bar, "A hard days travelling indeed…escaping my past to find my future. And, don't worry about the sword…I promise I won't use it on any of you"
They seemed relieved and the innkeeper handed her a large whiskey, "The room'll be just 200gil lass, the drink is on the house."
She smiled her thanks and handed him over a coinpurse of gil, "Thank you for that kindness Sir, you don't meet many kind people nowadays…"
He shook his head, "That you don't lass. If you don't mind my askin', why are you trying to escape your past?"
She shrugged, "Too much has happened…I have ruined so many relationships with people I love…and the one person I truly care about now probably wants nothing to do with me…" she sighed, "I left on a journey to find out more about myself…and there are so many things I didn't like. So I left my friends and family to continue my journey on my own…" she raised the glass of whiskey to her lips an breathed in the smell before taking a large gulp.
The innkeeper gave her a sad smile, "I'm so sorry to hear of your plight lass. Your journey brought you here then I presume?"
She nodded, nursing the glass of whiskey in her cold hands and hardly able to believe she was about to lie to this man, "I came here to find the parents of a friend of mine…there's something I need to tell them…do you know where I can find them? Mr and Mrs Fair?"
The innkeeper nodded, "Young Zack's parents, yes. They live in the house across the way, with the pretty front garden. Not heard from their son in so long, their letters aren't being answered…and they're wondering if the lad died in Meteorfall all them years ago. You're best goin' to find them in the mornin' lass, they'll be asleep now. It's late."
She nodded and drained the last of the whiskey, "Thank you. Listen, could I have a bottle of this sent up to my room please? I'm going to head up, get settled and have a read or something…"
The innkeeper nodded, "Of course, on the house again, don't worry about payin'. I'll have one of my lads run it up in a short while"
She thanked him earnestly before draping her jacket over her arm, picking up her sword and heading for the stairs.
***
She was listening to his voice on the voicemail when the young lad dropped off the bottle of whiskey. She sent him away with just a look as she snapped her phone closed in irritation. Five goes later and she still hadn't plucked up the courage to talk to his answerphone message.
Grabbing the bottle of whiskey, she opened it and swigged from the bottle, letting the liquid burn its way down her throat before dialling his number again.
Yo, this is Reno. I'm doing other stuff right now so er…leave me a message?
She gulped, "Reno…it's me. I'm sorry I had to go. But please understand…I couldn't put you in danger…I miss you…"
She hung up, before collapsing on the bed in tears.
***
Dawn broke and she knew she had to be quick. The others would be on her tail, and she needed to be away from Gongaga before they arrived. If they caught up with her, they would talk her into letting them come along with her. And she couldn't put them in danger like that. Sephiroth was always so close to the surface now, and she often found herself talking with him. And more often that not it was as if she were seeing the world through his eyes, as if she felt the same hatred for everything that he did. Noises could be heard from downstairs in the inn and she realised that in such a small village, people would be up and about early to get the days chores done before they could go home and look after their families.
She took her breakfast in the room, from a small plate of breads and cakes left by the innkeeper, and she noticed with a small smile that there was a fresh bottle of whiskey left for her too. A little note stuck to the side of it read On the house!
With a grin, she picked up the hot mug of coffee that had been left for her and nursed it in her hands. She let the heat seep through her cold body before draining the mug and shrugging her coat on. The view from the window showed a small village still shrouded in darkness, with heavy rain lashing the windowpanes. It was the sort of weather she liked, the sort of weather that seemed to cleanse everything. Picking the bottle of whiskey up from the side, she placed it carefully in her sidepack before stalking to the door. She stopped only briefly to pick up her sword and attatch it to her belt. She hoped against hope that Zack's parents would do what she asked, or she had no idea what Sephiroth would do to them.
***
The knock on the door made Mrs Fair look up from the kitchen table where she was rolling dough for a pie. She was an aging woman with grey hair that was pulled back at the base of her neck in a tight bun. Her eyes were a bright blue, and many said exactly like her son's had been. She wore a plain blue dress covered with a crisp white apron, whilst her aging hands were covered in flour. She glanced at the ticking clock hung on the wall and frowned, what on earth was someone doing calling at this hour? It was still dark and the weather outside was utterly horrific. Wiping her hands on her apron she shuffled over to the door and pulled it open. A young lady was stood there, dressed entirely in black, and her dark hair was plastered to her forehead. As Mrs Fair gazed at her, the young lady smiled awkwardly.
"Uh hi…are you er…Mrs Fair? Zack's mother?"
She stepped back slightly at the sound of her son's name, "You know my son? Have you heard anything from him?"
The young lady shook her head, "Not as such Mrs Fair…listen, can I come in? There's something I need to talk to you about…"
The aging woman nodded and stepped back, letting the young woman step inside, dripping rainwater all over the floor.
"He's dead isn't he?"
The young woman just looked at her as she shook her long black jacket off, and Mrs Fair was momentarily shocked to see the sword hanging at her belt. But then she noticed the girl's eyes. The last time she had seen her son, his eyes had glowed like that. He had told her it was because of his SOLIDIER training, and she wondered then if this girl was a part of SOLDIER, a remnant of ShinRa's old army.
"I can't tell you Mrs Fair…because I don't know…"
"But you knew him? Were you in SOLDIER with him?"
The girl nodded, "Yes, I was. He was a brave man Mrs Fair"
She nodded and shuffled back over to the kitchen where she placed a huge black kettle on the fire, "Tea?" when she girl nodded she took two large mugs down from a shelf above the fireplace and set them down on the table, "So why are you here then young lady, if not to tell me that my son is dead? No one has heard from him in over five years…rumours abound that he was killed…"
The girl shrugged, "I don't know ma'am…I miss him too. He could be anywhere, we don't know that he's dead…" she offered a sad smile, "But those of left who have some form of affiliation towards Shinra and SOLDIER are trying our very best to find him. Which is why I'm here actually…Mrs Fair, I know that a few years ago, Zack sent you something to keep safe…after the incident in Nibelheim…a small piece of Sephiroth's sword?"
"How do you know about that?"
The girl smiled, "I was with Zack when he sent it to you. Listen, Mrs Fair…do you still have it? Rufus seems to think that if we have something of his, the last thing he touched, then it may help to find him…alive and well maybe…"
Mrs Fair did not see the evil smile on the girl's face as she walked over to a side cabinet and drew out a small slither of metal. Had she turned around at that precise moment, she would have seen a face that no one had ever thought they would see again.
***
"Reno…it's me. I'm sorry I had to go. But please understand…I couldn't put you in danger…I miss you…"
He snapped the phone shut with a sigh and flopped in the chair. He had felt numb since she had left without a word to anyone, felt completely empty. It was as if a part of him had gone missing and he couldn't find it again. He worried for her, she was out there alone with a crazy psycho stuck inside her head. Anything could have happened to her. Yet at the same time, he felt angry that she had gone.
The voicemail message that she had left for him last night had torn a new hole in his heart. He missed her more and more by the second and just hearing her voice made him want to breathe in her smell, to hold her in his arms. He could hardly believe he was thinking like this, if Rude could hear him now…But the thoughts were interrupted by more thoughts of her. Sighing, he opened the phone once more and dialled his voice mail number.
"Reno…it's me. I'm sorry I had to go. But please understand…I couldn't put you in danger…I miss you…"
They had reached Gongaga only a matter of hours ago, and had missed her by only an hour or so according to the innkeeper. Reno had stormed out at that moment in desperation. He wanted to find her, to keep her safe. He bit his lip and stared at the phone, willing her to call again. But the screen stayed blank.
Where was she? Why was she running from them? Why had she told Vincent where she was going and not him?
He placed his head in his hands and sighed, feeling the cold night air rush through his hair. He felt chilly in his suit jacket but couldn't be bothered to go and find something warmer. The only warmth he needed was running away from them, hiding at every turn. He thought he knew what was behind it, or who was behind it. Sephiroth was no doubt spinning fantastic lies inside her head to make her do things. And those lies were obviously working.
After a moment he looked up at the dark sky, "Where are you Lizzy? Why are you listening to him? Come back…" and his voice was low, full of pain and suffering. It was as if he would give anything to get Elizabeth back by his side.
