Funny Food Quote: "They say, 'You are what you eat!' That's funny. I don't remember eating a sexy beast in the morning." (8/5/17)

"Speaking."

"Thoughts."


Clouds are free-spirited people. They are independent and defiant to the very end. In the Mafia World, practically everyone with a lick of common sense would cautiously advise against caging a Cloud. To attempt do so would either mean the death of the Cloud, the complete and utter destruction of their captors, or even sometimes both.

To be free to drift about the sky while protecting their Familia at a distance is the creed of every Cloud Guardian. In fact, their defiance is the very reason why they are crucial when it comes to their Sky's orders. As a Guardian, they are meant to question everything that might affect their freedom, so should the Rain fail to calm the Sky, and they issue an order that doesn't sit well with their Cloud. It's up to them to point out their mistakes and help their Sky see reason.

So when Xanxus debriefs Hadrian, now codenamed Cat Sìth, on his plan to "fix" the Vongola, the first thing that popped into his mind after that was complain, "Why the hell am I being replaced with Brundlefly in the Cloud Ring Battle?"

He then continued by questioning his Sky's plan further. "Look, I get that you have 'daddy-issues' and everything, but really? That thing is already modified so it won't kill anyone. So again… why?" Hadrian, of course, got another thrown wine glass thrown in his direction for his cheeky remark.

"Because the fucking baby trash needs a major kick in the ass. From the reports we've been swiping from the CEDEF, the brat's refusing to be the Decimo. And don't get me started on the baby Sky's fucking Rain Guardian! The stupid brat still thinks it's all a fucking game!" The Varia Boss continued bitching to his Cloud. What better way to pound reality into their thick heads than to show them the dark side of the mafia?

Basically, Xanxus' whole plan to "usurp the Vongola throne" is mostly just one big test for the next Vongola Don. He could easily take over the Decimo seat at any time he wants by force, but he wants to see for himself whether or not Nono's chosen successor even possesses the capability to rule over the strongest Mafia Familia in the world. By forcing the Ring Battles to occur and staging the conflict, it'll be a sure-fire way to test the son of Sawada's resolve. If the boy wins against Xanxus, then the Vongola will have their Decimo. But if he fails to meet the man's high standards, then Xanxus will just go with the flow and take over as Decimo seat for himself. The Vongola has no use for a spineless leader. The last thing anyone in the Varia wants is a sniveling coward to be the one to destroy their Boss' beloved Familia.

Hadrian glared at his Boss and slowly said in a low voice, "I swear to God, Xanxus di Vongola… this plan of yours had better be freaking amazing… Otherwise, I will put you on a vegan diet… And you and I know that I can and will do it."

The man waved off his Cloud's threat, ignoring the slight dread pooling in his stomach at the petite teen's threat. "You don't have to like it. You just have to follow along and make it so that you won't regret doing anything."

ʅ(°ヮ°)ʃ

Shortly after Squalo went to retrieve the fake rings, Hadrian had decided to take it upon himself to scope out the "competition" without anyone knowing. Being relatively new to the Varia, it's doubtful that anyone outside the Varia had even heard about someone by the name of "Hadrian Temperanza" just yet. The only thing they should know by now was that Xanxus had Harmonized with his new Cloud Officer, Cat Sìth.

His effeminate features, seemingly harmless looks, and deceptively fragile frame made it practically easy for him to slip through CEDEF Headquarters as an intern using a stolen uniform. It also helped that security was relatively lax with their leader and some of his closer subordinates currently in Japan. With only the name "Sawada Tsunayoshi" as his lead, he decided to first investigate their archives on whatever information was available on the Decimo candidate's father. But what he found about the man utterly shocked and disgusted him.

Apparently, the man is more married to his job as the Vongola's External Advisor than to his own wife. He would leave his family alone in Japan for years on end and with basically no real way to contact him in case of emergencies. Now Hadrian could understand Sawada's decision in keeping his civilian wife and son out of the Mafia World, but the man didn't even so much as assign a single rookie to watch over them in case any of the Vongola's enemies might catch wind of the location of the only heir to the Primo's bloodline. For the love of all that is holy, it's not like it's a big secret that Giotto Vongola had moved to Japan after his retirement. Everyone already knows that he had changed his name to "Sawada Ieyasu" so it's a simple matter of looking up the family name to narrow down their target's location.

How many assassins have already been sent to kill off the woman and child? How many rats have slipped into their system like Hadrian had and got their hands on this information? How much of the Vongola's inner workings has already been leaked because of how disturbingly easy it was for a mere intern to have access to such sensitive info?

The petite teen also recalled something while reading one of the reports the Varia was able to steal from the CEDEF and later found the reports that confirmed his suspicions. His son was being severely bullied at his school. And not just that, he had no friends to turn to and a lack of support at home due to an airheaded mother. It wasn't until just a year and a half ago that things finally started looking up for him. And it's only because they had to send in the World's Greatest Hitman just to get the boy's life together.

Last time he checked, suicide rates in Japan are pretty disturbingly high, especially among young men, combined with the nation's cultural ties to the practice of suicide itself. How close were they to completely losing yet another one of their heirs because a certain someone wasn't watching over his only child closely enough?

This discovery paints a dark picture about what's been going on in the Vongola since the deaths of the Nono's legitimate sons. Perhaps Xanxus was in the right after all even if his ruthless methods aren't. The Vongola needs a highly capable leader to fix these festering problems. If this "Sawada Tsunayoshi" can't do it, then the Varia Boss has no choice but to forcibly steal the boy's rightful inheritance from him, otherwise nothing will change and the Familia will continue to rot from the inside out.

Having enough, Hadrian put away everything after making copies of the information he wasn't able to read. Once he was a few blocks away from the CEDEF Headquarters, the teen used his phone to text his subordinates to prepare the Varia's private jet for his trip to Japan. It's time to see who Sawada Tsunayoshi and his Guardians are really like in person.

…And fuck Xanxus and his demand to keep Cat Sìth out of the picture. He wants to know everything before he even does anything. It's not like they can't survive without Hadrian in the kitchen for about a week or so. Besides what's the worst that could happen?

ʅ(°ヮ°)ʃ

When Hadrian came to Namimori, he expected that "Sawada Tsunayoshi" to be a younger Iemitsu but aged somewhere in his late teens. Instead what he found was a fluffy-haired middle-schooler looking more like a male version of his mother than a Mafia Don-in-the making. Hell, he only needed to spy on these kids for less than a day, and he could easily tell that it's going to take a lot of luck for them to even going to survive the Ring Battles with the way they are currently! Not only that, the kid's Lightning Guardian is fucking five-years-old! Plus where the fuck is his Mist Guardian?!

This is their future Vongola Decimo!?

Right now, Hadrian is currently observing Tsunayoshi's training from his position in the trees. Honestly, while the older teen was a bit disappointed that none of them have really reached their potential just yet, the Varia Cloud Officer, however, can tell there is potential in all of them. Give them a few more years, and these kids can be a force to reckon with by the time they graduate.

The next morning, as Tsunayoshi and his Guardians were making their way to their respective training areas, the Cloudy Sky teen decided to take a risk. Still hiding on a nearby rooftop, Hadrian discreetly sent out a tiny pulse of his Flames to get a feel for the quality of Tsunayoshi's Flame as the boy passed by. However, instead of a steady wave of Sky Flames emitting from the boy like he would expect from an Active Flame User, the feedback felt unusually weak like he's still Latent. It's like there is some sort of "wall" that was preventing Hadrian from getting the full signal.

What the hell?

"Interesting. I didn't know the Varia allow cute girls like you into their ranks." A man's voice said.

He quickly turned around, but felt a small prick in his neck. Instantly Hadrian felt his body instantly go numb as he lost control of his motor functions. Losing his footing, his limp body tumbled off the roof he was on and landed in the arms of a familiar doctor.

His only thought upon seeing the perverted face of Trident Shamal was, "Oh dear Lord, please bless me with the self-control not to attach knives on my shoes and kick this bastard in the balls!"


AN: And the Ring Battles Arc begins… just to warn you…this story is going to slow down a bit because I want to work out a good balance on how involved Hadrian should be in this part of the story. I don't want him to be a total Mary-Sue and just snaps his finger and everything suddenly goes well, but at the same time, I don't want him to become a bystander and just watches as everything unfold. Things will go somewhat differently from the canon, and I'm hoping that this Arc will be about maybe 5 chapters or so, however, things could change as I write.

Cat Sìth: In Celtic mythology, it's a fairy that resembles a large black and white cat with a white spot on its chest. In folklore, it is said that the cats are not actually fairies but witches that can transform into a cat nine times. It's been speculated that the stories of these "cats" originated from the Kellas cats, which are a hybrid of the Scottish wildcats (a subspecies of the European wildcat) and domestic housecats. Given Hadrian's past as a former wizard and his personality as a Cloudy Sky, it's only natural he has a name that suits him as a person.

Brundlefly: A reference of the 1989 sci-fi/horror movie, The Fly, where the main character, Seth Brundle, invents a teleporter machine but accidently traps a housefly with him while testing it on himself, leading him to slowly develop into a human-fly hybrid creature, which he dubbed himself as "Brundlefly."

Iemitsu-Bashing: I feel like it's not fair that HP has a lot of characters for me to bash so I went for Iemitsu in KHR to even things out so things won't be too biased towards one fandom (that and I've been reading too many fics that deal with addressing Iemitsu's mistakes). I suppose I could include Nono in my "characters to bash" list, but it's going t be temporary at worst. Besides, I have plans for the old man.

May the following Guests, Fangirl and Purple kisses, please come and accept your virtual wildcats. Thank you very much. ^^ (Nya~)


Omake: Revenge is a Dish Served Cold (or Extremely Hot)

One day, the forbidden happened…

In the Varia, they have many unspoken rules…

1. Never disturb the Boss when he's eating or napping. If you're lucky, he'll just throw something at you otherwise you'll get shot by his Wrath bullets. Repeatedly.

2. If you're stupid enough to try and give Squalo a haircut as a prank, then he has the right to give one to you. Lopping off your head is an improvement to your looks. His words exactly.

3. Stealing from Mammon or trying to cheat him will cause you to become brain dead. No amount of Sun Flames can fix that.

4. By all means, go ahead and pick a fight with Belphegor. Don't say we didn't warn you. There is a reason why he joined the Varia when he was eight.

5. LGBTQ-phobia is not accepted. You're welcome to argue with Lussuria on that one.

6. Never insult the Boss. Just thinking it will get you electrocuted to ashes.

But there is this one rule that was added recently shortly after Cloud Officer Hadrian joined the Varia… NEVER EVER FUCK UP CAT SÌTH'S TERRITORY (AKA THE KITCHEN). *Should you ignore this, no one will not help you if there is another Fried Foods Incident. This is your first, last, and only warning.

ʅ(°ヮ°)ʃ

It was a fall day on the thirtieth of November when the forbidden had happened.

Hadrian stood at the doorway to his kitchen. His small frame was as immobile as a statue while staring wide-eyed at the sight before him.

His stove was covered in burn marks and fire-extinguisher foam, his oven had a big chunk of charcoal resting in its confines, and his counters are completely covered in food stains. (That is whipped cream on the ceiling, right? …Oh, thank God, it is!) His precious spice rack was ransacked, and several of the glass bottles were completely shattered, their contents spilling out onto the floor. (Do they have any idea how much saffron costs nowadays?!) Some of the hinges on the cabinet doors were broken from being forcibly opened in the haste to get to the utensils.

And right in the middle of all the chaotic mess… were the culprits themselves.

"Uh… we can explain?" Squalo said sheepishly to the personal chef as Levi screamed in the background at the flaming grill (NOOOO! THE BOSS' STEAKS!).

Mammon took the opportunity to chime in. "I will give you 50 Euros if you turn around and forget what you just saw for…" They paused and turned to the Sun Officer putting out the flames with a fire extinguisher. "How long do you think we need, Lussuria?"

"6 hours?" The flamboyant man responded with an unsure tone, wincing as he observed the mess he and his fellow Officers made in the petite Cloud's kitchen.

However, Hadrian didn't reply. He didn't even so much as twitch a finger. Everyone wondered if the dark-haired teen was too deep in shock at the state of the kitchen to even register their presence.

"Ushishishi. The prince will take his leave now." Belphegor announced quietly as he carefully made his way around the other teen's immobile form and out the door.

Seeing that the young Storm Officer wasn't gutted alive, they all took the opportunity to escape while Hadrian was still out of it. Hopefully, they can get a decent head start before their little wildcat comes at them with all the fury of a provoked, temperamental Cloud.

ʅ(°ヮ°)ʃ

When evening finally came and none of them seen Hadrian prowling around looking to tear their throats out, they all breathed a sigh of relief. Perhaps it's because they were all Xanxus' Guardians that their newest Officer decided to let things slide for once. Otherwise the teen would have them begging for his forgiveness on their hands and knees by now. After all, their little wildcat had made people regret their very existence for less.

Dinner that night was simply curry buns. Nobody dared to complain out of accidently triggering the disturbingly calm Cloud Officer into a Cloud Rage. So they all just sat down in their seats and ate quietly. However, there was a problem…

While Xanxus and Hadrian are enjoying their respective curry buns just fine, but theirs, on the other hand, were completely drenched in his Cloud Flames, which heavily enhanced the capsaicin concentration in the chili peppers used in the curry. Within the first bite, everyone was at the Cloud Officer's mercy.

Levi had fainted and collapsed onto the floor. His tear covered eyes had rolled into the back of his hand, and he was foaming at the mouth while his body twitched like crazy.

Squalo was swearing at the top of his lungs in every single language he knew (apparently he knows 10) as he wildly waved his sword around. His face was so red that it resembled one of the tomatoes Hadrian usually uses in his meals. His pale complexion and silver-white hair only served to make the redness more obvious.

Belphegor took to one corner of the room, repeatedly pounding his head into the walls as he loudly begged someone to dump a bucket of water on his head to put out the imaginary fire burning his head off.

Lussuria was curled up in a fetal position underneath the table crying waterfalls of tears. An impressively sizable puddle formed under him as he rocked back and forth talking to himself in between sobs and sniffles.

Mammon was face down on their plate, having passed out earlier from the taste. The Arcobaleno's infantile body couldn't handle the spiciness and basically gave out on the spot. The only reason the others even know that Hadrian didn't kill the tiny Mist Officer was because an occasional gurgle of misery can be heard coming from them.

"Oh my~. Are they too mild for your tastes~? I guess I should've added Carolina Reapers to kill the blandness~." The green-eyed Officer singsonged innocently with a honey-sweet smile on his face.

Xanxus looked at the petite teen and simply cocked an eyebrow. He then shrugged and continued eating as he watched the results of his Cloud's twisted revenge on his other Guardians. The food tonight may not be as impressive as his previous meals, but the entertainment more than made up for it.

"FUCK YOU, YOU SHITTY CAT!" Squalo screamed at Hadrian angrily and bolted out the doors, unable to take the heat any longer as he quickly sprinted towards the kitchen.

Apparently, this was enough to snap all of them out of their respective states and followed after the Rain Officer. Once they caught up to the swordsman, they fought the rest of the way as they scrambled to be first one to their destination. Not caring that they were pretty much invading the Cloud Officer's territory for the second time today, they crashed through the doors and then ran for the refrigerator.

But when they finally yanked it open, there was nothing inside. There wasn't even so much as ice in the fucking freezer section!

Right when they felt soul-crushing disappointment enveloping them, Hadrian sauntered in behind them, carrying something in his hand that made hope blossom in their chests. "Ah. That's right~. I forgot Mammon's strawberry milk. Sorry, it's the last one. Enjoy~."

Very, very slowly. The teen ever so gently placed the twelve-ounce container of ambrosia on the counter with a tiny clink and slid it towards their direction. Their eyes followed it as the glass bottle stopped directly. In. Front. OF. THEM.

Being the nearest, Levi was the first to react and immediately lunged, taking the bottle in his fist. However, he was then tackled to the ground and beaten up by the others into unconsciousness, forcing him to let go of the precious twelve-ounce liquid.

Somehow amidst the commotion, Mammon was able to get his tiny hands on the bottle and levitated himself up to top of the large refrigerator and out of the others' reaches.

"Ushishishi. That bottle belongs to the prince." Belphegor said, taking out his knives and holding them towards the Mist threateningly just a few feet from his reach.

"VOI! GIVE THAT TO ME RIGHT NOW, YOU SHITTY MIDGET!" Squalo demanded as he continuously stamping his boot repeatedly on the back of the motionless Lightning Officer under him.

"Please! I'm begging you. Just one sip! That's all I ask!" Lussuria begged dramatically, prostrating himself at the foot of the refrigerator.

"Give me 100 bottles of these and then I'll hand it over." Mammon growled out, refusing to budge as they held the bottle close to their small body possessively.

As Hadrian watched on with a satisfied smile on his face, he sensed the familiar feel of Wrath Flames casually approaching from behind.

"Kitten, you're getting soft." Xanxus commented, finishing off the last of his curry buns.

Hadrian chuckled wickedly. "I'm only going easy on them because they're my friends… and I appreciate their efforts in trying to do something for my birthday. I hope they've learned their lesson today because I'm not going to hold back next time. Marauder's promise." The petite Cloud said with a dark gleam in his eyes.


AN: Before there is any confusion… Harry Potter's birthday is July 31st, but Hadrian Temperanza's birthday is November 30th. The Varia Officers wanted to do something special for their personal chef but… they fucked it all up. But at least it's the thought that counts. And Xanxus is in the background going "Shit is going down… but I could care less cuz I'm eating good shit."

Carolina Reaper: In 2013, the Guinness World Records dubbed the hottest chili pepper in the world, only to be surpassed by the "Dragon's Breath" as of May 2017. On the Scoville scale, it measures 1,569,300 SHU on average. Just for comparison, habanero chili peppers only rate a measly 100,000-350,000 on the Scoville scale. Let's just say that Hadrian was feeling pretty merciful that particular day otherwise this would've made their tongues melted if he added them into the curry.

Thank you all for reading~! Reviews, favorites, and follows give me life~! (╰ •ω•)ψ

Edited (8/7/17)