Chapter eight: Bitter sweet

16 years before…

Rosalie

I rushed home as fast as I could bursting with the news I'd been holding all day.

"Ma!" I yelled coming through the door, Edward a few steps behind me, "dad!" I ran to the kitchen to see no one was there. I ran up the stairs still yelling for them, bumping into Kitty in the process.

"Jesus Rose, where's the fire?" she laughed.

"Where's mom and dad?" I asked.

"Dad's taking a nap, mom ran to the store, what's up?"

"I got a call back Kitty. I got a freaking call back." My voice quivered with excitement.

"What?" she was confused but shocked.

"The model call I went to for that shoot in New York, they called me back while I was in class and they want me Kitty. They want me. They want me to fly out and be in the shoot."

She screamed and hugged me tight, jumping around in circles with me. "Congratulations!"

"I'm so excited, I think I'll faint!" I laughed.

She laughed with me, "When do you have to go?"

"Next weekend. They shoot all their summer stuff in winter so they want me now if I want to make it in a fashion spread."

"Oh" she said still smiling but her joy faded.

"What is it?" I slid my hands down her arms.

"Nothing" she shook her head, "just super happy for you." She wasn't looking at me anymore.

"No, don't say nothing and make that face." I pinched her cheeks.

She smiled a little, she hated when I did that. "Really, congrats." She hugged me again, "I'm glad your dreams are coming true." She flashed another smile then went into her room. I stood and watched as she closed her door gently. I wasn't sure if I should follow her in or not but she seemed alright. So I just turned and went into my room.

A while later I could hear mom coming in. I jumped up from my bed and ran downstairs to greet her.

"Mom!" I ran and met her at the door.

"Hey Rosie, can you grab some bags for?" she sat two large brown bags in my arms.

"Mom I have news" I called to her as she stepped outside.

"Oh yeah?" she went and grabbed more bags as I sat down the ones had. I met her at the car as she organized the spilled things in the trunk. "Go get your brother to come help."

I rolled my eyes and yelled for Edward to come down.

Once all the groceries were in the house I helped her put things away.

"So what's this news you're itching to tell me?" she smiled putting things in the cabinets.

"I got a call back for a photo shoot in New York!" it spilled from my lips effortless despite the million times I'd rehearsed. I knew she would be against it if I didn't deliver it right, but I was so excited I just let it all out.

She stopped and placed her hand on the counter thinking to herself. The usual face she made when she was about to either tell me no or 'ask your father'. Before she could respond, I tried to butter it up.

"There's tons of other girls my age going and the agent is willing to meet with our parents to talk answer any questions you and dad may have. I know I've only worked with her for a little but but she really cares about my safety and wants to make sure she has yours and dads trust before we do anything.

"Wow Rose…" her face still pensive, "this is…huge. New York?"

"Only for a weekend."

"What weekend?"

"Next weekend?"

"Huh…" she twist her jaw in thought, "Have you told your father?"

"He was napping when I got home so I figured I would wait for you."

She stood in silence a few minutes more before she started putting groceries away again. "Let me talk to your father after dinner."

I stood there defeated as she just finished put away food. It wasn't a no but it was nearly close.

We all sat at the table chatting, no one really brought up my news or asked about it. Alice ate silently poking at her plate while Edward and my dad joked playing games with mom. I was waiting for the right moment to ask whether or not we would talk about it but I didn't want to push my parents into a fast no. I was gonna wait for the slow yes. I leaned over to Alice as she was taking a fork full of food into her mouth, "I'm going to explode if mom and dad don't give me answer soon."

She looked at me with a blank expression, "They haven't given you an answer?"

"No. Mom said she would talk to dad after dinner but I don't think I can wait that long." I joked. She flashed a smile that didn't reach her eyes. I touched her back as she continued to eat, "Maybe if I play my cards right I can get them to let you come with?" she nodded slightly and took a sip from her drink.

"May I be excused?" she asked aloud.

"You feeling okay? You didn't finish your food." Mom asked looking at her plate.

"I'm not sure. I think my stomach's upset."

"Ok, I'll come up and check on you in a bit. Maybe bring you something to settle it." She winked at her.

"Thanks." Alice smiled before touching my shoulder and telling me good luck. I touched her hand as she walked away from the table.

I stayed behind and helped clear the table. Mom and dad were in the kitchen talking; my guess was about me and my potential trip to New York. The volume fluctuated which was odd. Mom and dad never really argued. Or they were really good at keeping it from all of us. I sat on the sofa as they continued to discuss. Edward came flopped down on the sofa next to me and switched on the television.

"Beat it twerp, I'm waiting for mom and dad."

"What's going on with them?" he asked still turning channels despite my prior request.

I snatched the remote and turned the tv off, "I'm going to New York for a photoshoot and they're discussing it now. Well, arguing about it…" I sat back and chewed on my thumb nail.

"Photoshoot in New York? I can't even spend the night out, good luck going to the big apple alone."

"Shut up jerk, they're going to let me go."

"From the sounds of it, doesn't look like you're going anywhere. Get comfy Hollywood." He got up and left as I threw a pillow at him.

They were talking for a long time and it did seem like they were pretty upset about something, which didn't spell anything nice for me. After a while of their talking going to silence, I gave up and went to my room. As I was brushing my hair my dad knocked on my door.

"Hey honey, busy?"

I turned around and shook my head. He walked in and sat on my bed across from me. "I talked to your mother earlier about your photoshoot. Congrats on the call back sweetheart."

I smiled, "Thanks daddy."

He gave a small nod and a smile, "I know how much you've invested in this and I realize that this shoot could be your big break but…your mother and I are a little concerned."

"Concerned about what?" I inched to the edge of my chair.

"Well," he got up and paced the room a little. That wasn't a good sign. "We fear this may get in the way of things for you. That it could potentially interfere with your development as a normal teenage girl. Whatever that means." He chuckled.

"It's not, I promise! I'll even bring my homework with me. And you can send Alice with me to make sure I stay on task. It's just a small photo shoot, we can get so much done before school that Monday."

He laughed, "I told your mother you were committed to this. And that's just what we were talking about. Alice's dance recital is next weekend honey. You promised her you would go."

I thought for a minute and realized Alice did seem down when I told her the shoot would be.

"Oh no…" I touched my head. "I feel like such an idiot." It's the third one I missed because of gigs.

"Your mother and I haven't decided on anything just yet. We're still talking things over but we want to be sure you're responsible enough to do this. And we want to meet with this agent about the trip immediately to get the more information."

I excitedly hugged him and thanked him a million times. "Don't thank me yet, I haven't given you an answer." He smiled. "But I want you to take some time and think about your priorities. If you decide to pursue this, really pursue this, it's going to take up a lot of your time and that means putting other things on the back burner. You'll miss out on a lot."

I sat and thought about it briefly. I was already ditching so many things I said I would do in my free time. Alice's recitals, Edward's debates. This modeling career was already shaping my life.

"You okay sweetie?" dad asked.

"Yeah, just thinking. I'm gonna go talk to Kitty." I hugged him again, "I promise I'll think hard about it."

He hugged me back and kissed the side of my head before leaving. I sat alone for a minute before going to Alice's room. I took a deep breath then headed over. She was sitting on her bed sketching with her favorite band blasting in her headphones. I knocked then poked my head all the way in, smiling at her concentration face.

She looked up a little frightened to see me without having heard me, "Jesus Rose, you scared the life out of me." She turned her music off and put her headphones around her neck.

I giggled to myself, "Sorry to spook you. Got a second?"

She nodded and made room on her bed for me. I went in and sat next to her peeking at what she was drawing.

"Always ballerinas." I said touching the page.

She half smiled, "They're so graceful and carefree." She tilted her head then sighed, "What's up Hollywood, what can I do you for?"

I sighed then looked at her, "I'm a jerk. Your recital's next weekend."

She shook her head stopping me, "I know how important this is for you."

"Not as important as your recital. I know that these auditions have taken up all my time. I want to be there. I love to see you dance."

She smiled, "It's ok. This is an opportunity that doesn't come often, you see me dance all the time."

I smiled and bumped her shoulder with mine playfully, "Tell you what. From this moment on, I'm on chauffer duty. Wait for you after rehearsal and whatever you want to eat after, my treat."

She hummed in thought, "You'll come sit through rehearsal?"

"If you want me to."

Her smile brightened before she hugged me tight. "I'm really happy for you."

I hugged her back, glad that she wasn't upset anymore. "When I make it big, you, mom and nana can come see me walk on runways in Thailand. And maybe by then you''ll have joined a dance company that puts on productions. We can travel together."

She giggled, "I can't wait for that. I love Thai food."

I laughed loudly, "Is that all you think about?"

"Rose, you're great but… I will never love anything more than I love food."

We both laughed and spent the night in her room talking about my big opportunity.

It had been a whole three days before my parents gave me an answer. I needed to have an answer at the beginning of the week and time was running out. I could feel something huge was about to happen. Mom and dad were quiet during breakfast while we were all really chatty.

As we were headed out of the door mom stopped me before I could grab the car keys, "Come straight home after school so your father and I can talk to you."

"I promised Alice I would go to her rehearsal and take her out for food or a snack after, but I can come home after that."

"Okay. But immediately after that, come straight home."

I nodded, a little nervous, then left.

"Everything okay Rose?" Edward asked when I got to the car.

"I hope so."

I spent the day trying not to think about mom stopping me this morning. I felt hopeful from the talk I had with dad, he believed in me and I know he would come through for me while mom tried to be hard on me.

On the ride home after ice cream with Alice, she tried to reassure me that everything would be okay.

"And who knows, you could be getting more calls in the next few weeks. I've seen your photos, cameras love you."

I smiled looking at her, "You should really be my manager."

She giggled, "I am not management material."

"Maybe not but you have the gift of gab and that's all you really need. I'm beauty, you're brains. We'd make a great team."

Her laughter was loud and hearty, "I'll keep that in mind when my dance dreams die."

"You looked fantastic at rehearsal today, your dreams will not die."

She shrugged, "I don't know. I don't really know if I love dancing as much as I love other things. It's just something I'm good at."

"Yeah but don't you want to see where it takes you? The opportunities you'll have could be endless. You can travel the world."

"Where do you want modeling to take you?"

I thought about it for a second, "Everywhere. I want to see everything."

"I think you'll do it. You can do anything." Her smile was bright.

"Thanks Kitty."

We pulled into the garage and sat for a minute.

"Just relax." She told me rubbing my hand. "Positive thoughts only. You've got this."

I nodded breathing, more nervous than I had been all day. More nervous than I realized I actually was. We both went in and no one was downstairs. Edward had gotten a ride from someone at school and was making a clamber in the kitchen.

"Where's mom and dad?"

"In their room I believe."

"They look angry?"

"I don't know, couldn't tell."

I cursed under my breath, "Ok."

"Still waiting on the news?"

"Yeah, why?"

He shook his head, "Not good. If it's taking them this much time to answer, nothing good can come of it."

I scoffed and flipped him off then left to my room. I needed to relax a bit more before I faced the rents. There was no way they were letting this opportunity pass me by. It was my one shot at my dream career and leaving small town Forks. There was no way they were turning me down. I took a deep breath and went to my parent's room. The door was slightly opened, so I knocked before I peeked.

"Mom? Dad? You wanted to see me?"

"Hey Rose," mom looked up from her book, "come in."

I stepped in and closed the door behind me then sat at my dad's desk.

"So your father and I have been discussing this trip to New York. We met with that woman also."

"Victoria?"

"Yes, Victoria."

"What did you guys talk about?" I asked hopeful sitting down on the bed next to her.

"Well, everything checks out. They'll pay for your flight, hotel, and all expenses. She even sprinkled on a tour of the city with you and all the models in attendance."

I laughed with excitement, "So can I go?"

She was silent for a moment.

"Mom?"

"I think it's a good opportunity but, you need to finish school before you start making steps like this towards a career."

"But-"

"No buts. If you go to this shoot, if it goes well, you'll get call backs and will have to fly all over. It's time consuming. You can start taking trips when you're 18."

"What if there isn't another chance? What if this is it for me?"

She smiled and leaned forward to touch my face, "I've seen your photographs. They'll be so many other chances."

"Did dad agree with you?" tears streamed with ire down my face.

"We both came to this decision because we love you and we care about your future."

I stood up and called for my dad. I could hear his footsteps in the hall just before he came in.

"What's the matter honey?" he put his arm around me.

"You don't think it's a good idea for me to go to New York next weekend?"

He sighed rubbing my shoulder then hugging me to him. The tears were coming in waves. "It's okay sweetheart. It'll be okay."

I separated myself from him, "No, it won't be. This is important to me and you guys just want to shit all over it."

"Hey, watch your mouth. And keep your voice down." My mother got up off the bed.

I folded my arms and lowered my head, "I'm sick of being told what to do all the time. I'm sick of having to be the third parent to my siblings. I'm sick of not being able to do what genuinely makes me happy. Why can't I do what I want?"

"You're sixteen, you don't know what you want." she said aggressively. "Right now this seems pretty and shiny but you need to consider more options. This is just one offer. Don't settle for the first one."

"Yeah yeah it's the first of many. This could be it but you're telling me I need to sit on my hands? That's the dumbest advice I've ever heard."

"Rosalie!" dad yelled, "Watch how you talk to your mother, I won't tell you again."

I chewed the inside of my lip looking down. "I'm just saying…if Alice asked to go to a dance academy-"

"No" mom cute me off, "you will not play this game with me. I've never put favor over you, your sister or brother. If you live here, in this house, under my rules, you'll do as I say. And I say you're not going until you learn some respect and responsibility!"

I'd never heard her yell before. She could get pretty angry and it was scary, but this was beyond me. I wasn't taking no for an answer though. Standing my ground and getting to this shoot meant more to me than this screaming match. I'd been taking a backseat to my sisterly duties as the oldest child far too long. It was time they noticed what I felt was important to me and it was time I had my demands met.

"I am responsible." I said back, shocking her. "I drive Edward and Alice to school every day, back home every evening. Alice hasn't been late for a single rehearsal. I even make sure she's had something to eat before. I think I carry my weight around here."

Mom shook her head, "You have no idea what that kind of 'weight' means. The car your drive your brother and sister in belongs to your father and I. The money you use to feed Alice and put gas in that car comes from your father and I. All these luxuries you're afforded in this house come at no expense to you. You've never had a job, you've never wanted for anything. You can't even begin to fathom what that kind of 'weight' even looks like. I am not your friend, I am your mother. I refuse to spoil you and let you run off to New York without knowing how to care for yourself properly. The mere fact that you can stand here like you have it all together shows your lack of maturity."

"I'm far more responsible than you care to acknowledge."

"I've said all I have to say and I'm not arguing about this. Now go to your room."

"But I'm not-"

"Rosalie, go to your room now." She pushed her finger towards the bedroom door.

I lowered my head and dragged my feet to my room. I slammed the door and screamed into my pillows upon slamming myself on the bed.

I felt completely shut down and rejected. I always bit my tongue when I felt it was necessary because for a long time I was the good daughter. I followed every rule and did exactly what I was told, yet the one thing I asked for; the only thing I asked for, was shut down with no argument. As angry as I wanted to be the only thing I could do was lie in bed and be perfectly still.

I don't remember when it happened, but I'd fallen asleep. I woke up late in the night, thirsty from the crying that inevitably happened. After pouring myself a drink, I sat at the kitchen table with nothing but the stove light shining dimly. I'd drifted off into day dream apparently because I didn't hear the clicking of the light switch, or the footsteps.

"Rose?" Edward said with one eye shut from the exposure, "Why are you awake?"

"I was just getting some water." I wrapped my fingers firmly around my glass.

He looked at me and studied my face briefly, "You okay?" he sat down at the table with me.

I signed lowering my shoulders then nodded taking another sip from my cup.

"Mom said no, huh?"

"Yep. And she won't even give me chance."

"Did she say why?" he asked resting his back on his chair.

"She said that it'll be better for my future and not to put too many eggs in one basket." I said lowly.

"I don't even know what that means." Edward joked.

"I know right?" I half smiled then straightened my face back out, "It really just means not to accept this one offer because it may not be the best. But isn't it?" my voice began to pep up. "They're willing to pay for my travel, my hotel, and the pictures I take could be a part of my portfolio. No cost to any one, easy and done. Mom even said she talked to the agent and she seemed legit. So why worry if it's taken care of?"

Edward nodded taking in my word vomit, "Yea that's crazy." he said as we sat in silence. "It'll be okay though."

"Will it? There's an age cap on modeling. If I wait until I'm 18, I'll have to go to school. And with school I won't have time to model. And what if another opportunity like this doesn't happen?"

"But what if another one does? This is just the first. And no is just a word." He got up and patted my arm, "I'm going back to bed, try to cheer up. This isn't the end of the world."

I nodded as he left the kitchen. I kept hearing that this could be my first offer and there were many more but I could really fathom that concept. Especially because it took so much work to get this one. I'd started modeling school when I was 12 and listening to my mentor talk about her early days in modeling and how it potentially got harder for her as she got older, I was scared. I had to take this opportunity. They had to see that I was capable of taking this on. But I took Edward's advice. No was just a word and I think I could get my parents to see that it wasn't the right word.

The next day I continued with my responsibilities. I drove Edward and Alice to school, brought Alice to practice, went for snacks, brought her back home, completed my homework and prepared for the pitch. I knew mom and dad probably still had a bitter taste in their mouths after last night's spat. But I was ready to take the blame for it.

They both sat in their bed chatting and watching late night TV when I gently knocked.

"Yea?" my dad answered.

"It's me. Can I come in?" I popped my head in slightly.

"Of course" he held his hand out to me. Last night wasn't the first fight me and mom had, but it was definitely the roughest. We were always quick to forgive but I knew this one was bad because she hadn't said much to me at the breakfast table.

"I just wanted to come and talk to you guys. Apologize for my behavior…"

"It's alright honey." My dad started before I could finish.

"No, no. Mom, you were right. I haven't really been grateful and I don't really thank you guys at all for it. I just kinda expect you to hand me everything because I'm your kid. And that's not fair to either of you. So I'm sorry for being bratty in that way."

My mother's face softened. "I appreciate you saying that." Her smile was warm and genuine.

I nodded and lowered my head before I continued. "If I may say so though, I do think you're wrong in saying that I never work. Though I don't have a job that affirms that with monetary gain, I do lots of work. I keep up with my chores, and I'm not saying that because of that I'm owed anything because I realize I'm not. I would just like to point out my capability."

My mother sat up more attentive, "Understandable. Anything you have to say about that?"

I took a breath and answered confidently, "Yes. I realize last night I was combative and confrontational, so I would just like to say with a clear mind that it hurts my feelings…" I stated carefully, "when you say that I'm not responsible. I know it's not anywhere near the amazing job the both of you do with the three of us. Thank you for being spectacular parents. I just feel as though sometimes my hard work goes unrecognizing, and it can be a bit diminishing."

"How do you mean?" my father asked.

"I don't know" I shrugged, "just seems like I'm here to do things. I want to be able to create and be a part of stuff. The only thing I want to do is model. But I'm not allowed to expand any further from the classes and pictures I take. I just feel like everyone else around me is happy doing things they enjoy. I just want to follow my hobby to something greater." I lowered my head.

"Sweetheart" dad said concerned, he leaned up and invited me to sit with them "we want you to have hobbies and flourish. This is just a different level of commitment to this hobby. Potentially a career."

"Yes," mom said, "and our job is to make sure you're ready to take on that commitment. We understand and appreciate all the things you do around here with your brother and sister. Trust me, it doesn't go unnoticed. This is just so big. We know they'll love you in New York, how could they not?" she rubbed my back causing me to smile. "We just want you to make decisions you won't later regret. That would fall on us."

I nodded. "I understand."

"That was mighty big of you to come and talk to us." Mom said.

"I just didn't like you upset with me." I confessed.

"We weren't upset. You've been stubborn since you could speak." Dad joked. I laughed and leaned closer to him so he could kiss my head.

"Well, I'm going to bed now. Thanks for listening."

"Anytime" mom said and blew me a kiss.

I went into my room still a little sad that I wasn't going to New York, but overall better that I got to speak what I was feeling. I didn't expect that conversation to go so well since I had been so angry the night before. I knew my mom would have told me to get out of her face, and I would've deserved it. But she was great like that. I guess there was still so much I needed to learn about my own mother.

After dinner the next day, mom requested I be the only one to help her clean up after. We were chatting and joking when she handed me and envelope.

"What's this?" I held it up.

"Open it."

I pulled the flap from inside and saw two plane tickets to New York. I was speechless.

"Your father can handle Alice and Edward. I'll go with you to New York, make sure you don't do anything silly. Besides, they might ask me for a photo op." she smirked bopping her shoulder jokingly.

"What about the recital?"

"It'll be recorded. We'll watch it with Alice when we get back."

I crashed into her, squeezing her tightly in a hug.

"Thank you thank you thank you mom."

She hugged me back smiling, "Thank me later, go pack."

I gave her a huge kiss on the cheek then ran to my room to pack for my trip.

My luck was finally changing. I was finally getting my moment.

A/N: I realize this is late, but it's Mardi Gras season so of course I've been a bit busy.

This is only a snippet of the monster you've all known Rosalie to become. I don't think there's anything I can write to make you all believe Rose has changed. It was a goal to try and make you guys sympathize but as the reviews come in, you guys hate her and I'm impressed I wrote someone in that you all hate so much. So there's that haha

As always, review/comment/ask questions about things that you don't get. And thanks for reading, you're all the best!