Harry Potter's Home for the Wayward Witch or Wizard...and the occasional Muggle who's in the know!

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I've been distracted...what else can I say. Life has been a bit mad lately and my mind hasn't been on this fic. *sigh*

Been on others though. Started one called, "Choose Your Own Drarry"...sort of like those old Choose Your Own Adventure novels from the 80s/90s.

And...and...I've updated "Draco Malfoy's Midnight Maelstrom," so...that's good, right? Lol.

Anyway...yeah. So...here's a chapter. Not Drarry yet. Sorry.

ETA: Okay, I'm VERY annoyed. I usually run my writing through a text-to-speech program...in hopes of catching errors...but something is wrong with my program and it doesn't want to run properly. I wanted to post last night...and now I'm trying again today. I thought maybe it would correct itself if my computer was put to bed last night, but...noooooo! Anyway, sorry for any typos...as I'm posting without the final run through. *sigh*

Words: 3,015 (not counting any of that ^^)

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Chapter Nine

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The next morning Harry woke up groggily, with a bit of a headache from consuming too much alcohol the night before, and realized he'd fallen asleep on his sofa—next to none other than Draco Malfoy. Tangled up with the other man, to be exact.

And the next thing he discovered was that he and the blond were not alone in the room. Sitting silently on his bed were his two best friend—Hermione ringing her hands while Ron glared.

Extracting himself from the slim limbs of the sleeping man beside him, Harry sat up.

"Er...hiya guys," he said sleepily.

"Hello Harry," Hermione said, biting her lip as Ron stood up and started pacing.

"What's going on here, Harry?" Ron asked, none too quietly, gesturing at the sleeping man on the sofa. "I mean, we knew he was here, but...not here here! What are you doing?"

Harry glanced down at Malfoy—who appeared to still be out cold—then shrugged. "I was...sleeping," he said simply. "I mean, we had drinks in the drawing room last night and then...well, we came back here to finish and talk."

Ron frowned. "Talk?"

Harry shrugged. "Yeah. I guess we fell asleep," he said, rubbing his sore neck. "That's all."

"That's all?" Ron parroted, still frowning. "You know, I talked to George and he said—"

"Ron," Hermione interrupted. "I think...this is Harry's business."

"Like hell it is!" Ron snapped. "I mean, having tea with the git is one thing, but...this?!"

"...was just a casual drink, Ron," Harry added.

Ron snorted, then opened his mouth to continue on—but Hermione didn't allow it.

"Actually, Harry, we come with news," she said, smiling. "I'm pregnant."

Harry grinned. "That's...great, Hermione. Brilliant! Congratulations!" he said, going to his friend and hugging her.

Laughing at his exuberance, Hermione hugged back. "I'm only about three and a half months along, so...the baby isn't due until May," she continued, "but we wanted to tell you right away. We'd like you to be the godfather." She glanced at Ron, because he was pacing again.

"Wow! I'd love to be. Thank you," said Harry.

"Didn't expect to find you sleeping with Malfoy," the redhead grumbled.

Harry rolled his eyes. "I wasn't sleeping with him, I was just...er...sleeping...and Malfoy happens to be in the same room."

"On the same sofa!" Ron burst. "With his slimey arms wrapped around you!"

"Shhh!" both Harry and Hermione said at the same time.

And then the door to Harry's bedroom swung open. "Uncle Harry," Teddy said as he ran in and threw himself into Harry's arms. "Hi Ron. Hi Hermione. What're you doing here? You here for breakfast?"

Hermione smiled. "Not today, Teddy. We both have work. We just wanted to talk to Harry first. We're done though...so we're going to leave." She took hold of Ron's sleeve and tried to lead him toward the Floo, but he resisted.

"This isn't finished, mate," said Ron. "We still need to talk about...that."

"Talk about what?" Teddy chirped.

Harry shrugged noncommittally and Hermione rolled her eyes. "Come on, Ronald," she said, pulling her husband. "Let's go. Bye Teddy."

"Bye-bye, Auntie 'Mione," Teddy said, waving from Harry's arms. "Bye Uncle Ron."

Ron huffed, but smiled at the boy—and allowed his wife to lead him out.

"Why wouldn't they stay for breakfast, Uncle Harry?" Teddy asked.

"You heard them, Teddy...work."

Teddy frowned—then seemed to notice Draco. "Harry, did you and Cousin Draco have a sleepover...like me and Robbie?" he asked delightedly, his eyes twinkling.

Harry's eyes went to the sleeping blond. "Er...yeah, something like that."

Teddy grinned. "So, you like each other now?"

"Um. I wouldn't go that far," Harry responded.

"Why not?" the boy asked.

"It's just...not that simple, Teddy," Harry said—then continued quickly, in hopes of stopping more questions. "And don't ask why."

Teddy pouted. "I like sleepovers."

Harry sighed. "Yes, they can be fun," he said, thinking of the few times he'd actually had one; it seemed like it had been forever. "It's different when you're an adult though," he continued, putting the boy down and swatting his behind. "Time to brush your teeth, little man."

Teddy frowned. "Why? I'm going to go down to eat and get them dirty again."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Then you can brush them again afterwards, but, for now, do as you're told or there'll be no sweets in the afternoon.

Teddy pouted again—for just a second—then skipped off to Harry's bathroom to brush his teeth.

Harry instantly turned and looked at the sleeping blond. "Okay, Malfoy, time to get up."

No response.

"Malfoy, I know you're awake and listening, so...get up!"

Opening his eyes, Draco huffed. "What gave me away?" he asked before yawning.

Harry snorted. "No one sleeps through Ron's ranting."

Sitting up, Draco's eyes noticed his wand. He'd lain it on the table at some point the night before, in favor of picking up his glass and continuing to drink. He'd stared at it a lot, but hadn't touched it after initially holding it. He couldn't believe Potter had returned it to him. Hiding a smile, he sat forward and picked it up again. This time touching it didn't make him tingle, but it felt right in his hand.

"Thank you for this, Potter," he said quietly.

Harry shrugged. "It's yours. And I feel terrible that I didn't get it back to you sooner."

"Some would say I have no business holding a wand anymore," the blond said.

"Pfft!" Harry scoffed. "Half the Wizengamot shouldn't be holding wands."

Draco chuckled. "Not a fan of some in the Ministry?"

"Definitely not!"

"Cousin Draco!" Teddy said, bursting back into the room and rushing at his cousin. "Did you and Uncle Harry have a good sleepover?"

Draco glanced up at Harry and smirked. "It was delightful," he responded to the boy.

Harry rolled his eyes. "I need to shower, so...why don't you take Teddy down to breakfast."

Draco looked slightly appalled. He still wasn't comfortable taking care of the child. "I think your shower can wait, Potter," he said. "I think your godson takes priority."

Harry laughed. "And I think his cousin can handle him," he said as he yanked his shirt over his head and headed into his en suite, saying, "be down as soon as possible," as he closed the door.

Draco frowned, but Teddy took over.

"Come on, Cousin Draco," he said. "I'm hungry."

-oOo-

Draco and Teddy ended up stopping by Draco's room, so that the blond could put on some fresh clothing. Draco was instantly sorry he'd not just used his wand to Scrougify what he'd been wearing. As they walked in the room, they were treated to Pansy's scrutiny.

"Where have you been, Draco?" the witch asked, her eyes narrowed. "Wait. Don't tell me, all night dessert buffet in the drawing room again?"

"Very funny, Pans," Draco said, dryly. "Be polite and say hello to my cousin, Teddy."

After glaring at her friend, Pansy looked at the child who was clinging to the man. His hair had been blue when they walked in the room, but the instant Draco had said his name, the boy's hair shifted to platinum blond.

"Hello, Teddy," she said—just a little bit sarcastically—as she watched her friend grab a change of clothing and walk into their bathroom.

The boy nodded his greeting—not too sure about this woman. "You're Cousin Draco's friend."

She nodded. "Yes."

"Are you his girlfriend?" the boy asked.

Pansy snorted. "Absolutely not."

"Why not?"

Pansy smirked. "Because, I'm not Draco's type," she said.

"Why not?"

Unsure how to respond, Pansy frowned. "Um. Because, Draco likes...black hair and green eyes," she finished, grinning at the blond as he walked out of the bathroom.

"Very funny, Pans," Draco said, rolling his eyes.

She snickered.

"Uncle Harry has black hair and green eyes," Teddy pushed. "Is that why you had a sleepover in Uncle Harry's room, Cousin Draco? Is he your boyfriend?"

Draco's face went scarlet and Pansy burst out laughing. "So that's where you were, Draco...with your boyfr—"

"No!" the blond burst, his eyes going from Teddy to Pansy. "Don't say another word, Pansy Parkinson! Or you'll be sorry." Draco then pulled out his wand and twirled it teasingly—causing the witch's mouth to gape open.

"Where'd you get that?!"

"Potter returned it to me," he said. "Seems he's had it all along. Now. You, get up and get dressed. Teddy wants breakfast and, since you're in a good enough mood to harass me, you can accompany us downstairs."

Pansy instantly bit her lip. "I...ahh...think I'd rather stay up here."

Draco shook his head. "No. If I have to go down, then so do you."

"It's too soon," Pansy protested. "Last night...it was too soon."

Draco rolled his eyes. "Yes. I could see that...last night...the way you carried on with that Muggle."

Pansy blushed. "My father would kill me."

"As if he's ever going to know at this point."

"True. Still."

"So...you go change. Teddy and I will wait for you."

Pansy's eyes went to the boy. He'd been watching them silently—curiously. Now he was nodding. Sighing, Pansy got up from her bed and disappeared into the bathroom.

-oOo-

Later that day, Pansy was introduced to the kitchen—but this time she was expected to use it for cooking. Well, for learning to cook. Sort of. She was terrified.

"Why can't I...you know...use magic?"

Harry raised a brow. "Have a wand, do you?"

She scoffed. "No, but you do, Potter!" she snapped. "And Draco does. Why can't I use his?"

"Because, that's not how we do things around here," Harry answered her.

"But...I don't know how to cook," she protested.

"And that's why I'm here to show you," Harry said. "It's really not that hard. If Malfoy can do it, then so can you."

"Hey!" came Draco from just across the room; he was sitting on the counter, being particularly unhelpful.

"We'll start with easy stuff like boiling water and making toast," the dark-haired man went on without responding to Draco's outburst. "Both are easy."

Pansy huffed, but nodded. "All right. What do I do?"

"You'll need some sort of pot, for boiling the water. Let's use the tea kettle, so we can have tea," Harry said. "It's on the cooker. Just take it and fill it at the sink."

Pansy frowned, but picked up the device and went to the sink. Quickly, she filled it, then turned and looked at Harry again.

He pointed. "Put it on the stove and turn it on. It'll whistle when the water is boiling."

Nodding, Pansy went to the stove and set the kettle on one of the front burners, then stared at it for a second. She was frowning again.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Just look at it, Parkinson. Study what you see. You can figure it out. I know you're not stupid."

She huffed, then reached out and gingerly touched it—then started twisting knobs. In a few seconds she had all the burners going. She grinned and clapped her hands. "I did it!"

Both Harry and Draco chuckled and she glared at them.

"Turn off the ones you're not using, Pans...or you'll burn the place down," Draco instructed, sounding like he knew it all.

"All right, Mr Expert!" the witch snapped at her friend before looking at Harry. "Now what?"

"We'll have tea," Harry said, his eyes going to the blond. "Malfoy, get us some cups, would you?"

Draco snorted. "Why do I have to do it?" he asked. "Pansy's the one learning."

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Malfoy, just be helpful for once. And no magic," Harry added.

Draco glared, but hopped off the counter to get the cups. "Merlin, this is like servant's stuff."

Harry rolled his eyes. "You can remove the silver spoon from your arse, Malfoy," he said. "You won't be needing it around here."

Pansy giggled. "Oh, I don't know. Draco likes things up his—"

"Fuck off, Pansy!" the blond interrupted.

"All right then! So, let's go in the pantry. That's where the tea is," Harry informed the woman. "And the bread."

From there, Harry took Pansy into the pantry and showed her around.

"Goodness, Potter, there's enough food in here to feed an army!" she exclaimed.

Harry laughed. "Well, that's about what we have living here," he said. "Do you want jam for your toast?"

Pansy nodded.

"That would be in the refrigerator...with the butter."

"In the what?"

"Er...another closet for the cold stuff," he explained. "Muggles have appliances for these things. Put the tea and bread on the table."

"You have one of these Muggle frigermator thingies?" she asked.

Harry hid a smile—at her mispronunciation—and shook his head. "No, the wizarding equivalent, just like I suspect you grew up with. But I grew up with Muggles, so I learned to call it a fridge. I'll show you where it is. Malfoy, get us a knife and a spoon, would you."

Sticking her tongue out at her scowling friend, Pansy followed the dark-haired man.

"So, that door is Kreacher's den and that one is a small toilet...and this is the cool closet." He pointed, then reached out and opened it.

Pansy poked her head in. It was filled with food, just like the one she'd grown up with.

Harry picked up the butter and handed it to her, then picked up several jars. "Strawberry, apricot, bilberry, or...marmalade?"

Pansy grinned. "Marmalade!"

Nodding, Harry put the bilberry back and brought the other three out with them—just as the tea kettle started squealing.

"Water's boiling!" Draco shouted.

"No shite!" Harry snapped, setting down the jam jars. Panicking, Pansy nearly dropped the butter. Harry caught it though, set it on the table, then guided the woman back to the cooker. "Just turn it off," he instructed her. "Then pick it up...carefully, so you don't burn yourself and—"

"Oh sure! Warn her not to burn herself," Draco groused from the table.

Harry rolled his eyes. "I didn't think to warn you, Malfoy...it's common sense. But after you spilled boiling water all over, I'm not taking any more chances. I'm learning too, you know. Sooo," he went on, looking at Pansy again, "looks like Malfoy put tea in our cups, so you can just pour the water in...carefully."

She nodded.

"And we'll let it steep while we make toast," Harry said, picking up the loaf and showing her the toaster. They waited while it toasted, Harry laughing when she squealed when it popped up.

"Careful," he warned. "That's hot too."

Cautiously, she picked up each slice and piled them on a plate, then the two of them joined the blond at the table.

"Tea and toast," Harry said after everything was buttered and slathered with jam.

Pansy grinned proudly. "I did it!" she said again, obviously thrilled with her feat.

"Yes. Yes you did," Harry said. "And soon you'll be making meals."

Pansy pulled a face. "I don't know about that, Potter...it's just tea and toast."

Harry laughed. "Don't put yourself down, Parkinson...you did well. And again...if Malfoy can do it, then you can too," he repeated.

"Hey!" the blond burst. "I'm sitting right here!"

Again, he was ignored.

"Oh Salazar!" Pansy burst, smiling a little. "If my siblings could just see me!"

Harry's brows raised. "You have brothers and sisters?"

Pansy nodded. "Two brothers and one sister."

"Wow. I had no idea."

"It's not like you ever really knew anything about us, Potter."

Harry nodded. "True."

"My brothers are twins; six years older. And my sister is six years younger."

"Tell him what House Mari's in, Pans," Draco interrupted. "Pansy's not the only pariah in the Parkinson household."

Pansy snorted. "Marigold's a Hufflepuff!" she said with quite a bit of disgust. "Mother and Father were not pleased!"

Harry laughed. "There's nothing wrong with Hufflepuff House," he said. "Badgers are kick-arse!"

The two Slytherins snorted in derision. "Okay," said Pansy.

Harry opened his mouth to argue, but was cut off.

"Don't even bother, Potter," Draco said. "You'll never convince two snakes of that one."

"Badgers eat snakes, you know," the dark-haired young man informed them—then wagged a finger at them warningly. "And...don't let my godson know you look down on Hufflepuff, yeah? His mum was one and died fighting in the war. Teddy wants to be one just like her. Or in Gryffindor, like his dad."

Pansy made a show of gagging, but smiled at Harry to make sure he knew she'd keep her trap shut—about Hufflepuff. "My brothers were in Slytherin though," she said snootily. "Mother and father were quite proud of them."

Harry rolled his eyes—for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. "Oh joy!"

"Don't be like that, Potter," the dark-haired witch scolded. "It's the truth."

"Whatever," said the green-eyed man. "Tell me, what are these brothers' names."

Pansy smiled, clearly pleased about Harry's interest. "Rickon and Sabastian," she said quietly, her tone sad. They'd been forbidden from talking to her—unless she left England and joined them in France. And married the man they'd chosen for her. She shuddered at the thought of the twat her father had introduced her to.

"There's more to that story, I imagine," Harry said, watching her closely.

Looking down into her cup, Pansy nodded. But she didn't say anything.

"The war was hard on all of us, Potter," Draco said. "Much like my family, Pansy's lost everything too. They weren't, however, involved in the war. Just some...bad luck, I guess," he said, glancing at his friend. "They're currently living out of the country and have basically disowned her...because she refused to leave with them and marry the idiot of their choosing."

Harry frowned. "That still happens? Arranged marriages?

Pansy nodded.

"How...barbaric!"

"Pfft! I'll say!" Pansy burst. "You should see the pillock they want to marry me off to!"

"I'm sorry," said the dark-haired man.

Pansy shrugged. "Such is life, yeah? I'm here now, so..." She paused, then shrugged—then got up, saying, "More tea?"