Disclaimer: I own nothing... Only borrowing them for a ride...
Summary: When Wheeljack's latest invention go haywire in the middle of a battle, Starscream and Optimus Prime find themselves thrown in a completely different universe... One in which they both meet their worst nightmare.
A/N: This is from a RP I am currently doing with NightElfCrawler. SO it's still on the work^^ I'll try to post more chapters as they come along. But that shouldn't be too long between updates. In one evening we wrote 40 pages, can you believe it? We're apparently on a row XD
A/N 2: It's a crossover between Shattered Glass Universe and G1 Universe.
WARNINGS: Non-con, violence, torture, angst, adult and dark themes. That should cover it. So it is STRICTLY Mature/NC-17. I'm not responsible for anyone that's not adult who would read it...
Legend: -...- is for Bond talk; "..." Is for normal talk
EDIT: Thanks to my Beta The Starscream!
Chapter 9: Inner light
They left the room in a hurry and once they were in the hallway, Optimus spun his mate around and crashed their lips together, almost fiercely.
-Do you think we can make it back to our room?- He said teasingly.
Starscream hissed a soft expulsion of breath as he was pushed against the hallway wall, lips on fire as he hungrily returned it.
-I think…. I can manage.-
Optimus grinned and pulled him along towards their quarters. It seemed like the longest trek he had ever have to do, and when they were here, he looked at his mate with hunger and need.
-Want you now...-
The seeker blinked.
-What's got you so riled up?- He wondered aloud, turning as they entered their temporary quarters,
-I think that this experience with the Matrix made my circuits built up a charge. And...- He purred, smiling at him, optics bright. -You seem to bring out this side of me.-
-I'm good at that.- He murmured, staring into his optics with a smile, sliding a hand over his shoulder. -But its not the part I've been enjoying as of late.-
-And what's that part, hum?- He asked in a silky, smooth tune, wrapping his arms around his seeker mate to hold him against his broad chassis.
Starscream peered into his optics, sliding a hand gently against his cheek, gaze suddenly turning sad, and a bit hesitant.
"Getting to know you better." He murmured quietly.
Optimus's optics softened and he took his mate's chin into his hand, tilting his head up so he could look into his optics. His mask slid open revealing his features and he said.
"You can ask me whatever you want to know... I have nothing to hide for you."
His optics hesitated, staring into his with a pang of longing in his spark.
"It is not so much what I wish to ask from you, but…. ask of you." His gaze dropped. "Passion and lust is something I have constantly had to dodge from others for my entire existence." He murmured. "My form makes others crave for me constantly…. and I for one would like to have a say in when and where I interface."
"Oh..." Optimus felt a little shamed then and he dimmed his optics, just holding him in a warm, loving embrace. "I'm sorry, I understand. I'll try not to let these kinds of thoughts get the better of me again. I do want you happy, Starscream."
Starscream's gaze lowered, a faint smile on his lips, though still seemed sad.
"I know you have needs." He said quietly. "And I also enjoy them…. but… I want to be someone for a change, not just a pleasurebot."
Optimus smiled softly, and rubbed his back for a moment before letting go of him and tilting his head.
"You can be whatever you want to be, Starscream. Don't let me dictate your actions, ever, and tell me off when I do, like you did now."
Glancing up at him, he met his optics as his head was tilted, crimson optics studying his face.
"I will try…. but I am not used to defying one stronger than I."
Optimus just stroked his cheek and his smile got warm and he let his love and care filter through the bond.
"I know... You will learn, and I will help you along the way. This is what mates are for."
"I suppose I still need to learn that part." He murmured, glancing towards the berth and breaking away from him, sitting down with his back against the wall, enough space so Optimus could join him. "Millennias of living under Megatron's iron fist has coluored my outlook."
Optimus looked at him and tilted his head, before walking to the berth and sitting beside him, leaning against the wall too. It was a large berth, so there was still space on it.
"You'll have to re-learn what living means. I'll be there for you, Starscream, all the way."
The seeker sighed, optics shuttering. It was so draining listening to him constantly spout optimism…. he glanced over at him, optics dim.
"Can we just talk frankly."
Optimus could feel his annoyance and he tried to refrain from answering with another one of his Cliché phrases. He too will have some things to learn.
"Yes, of course."
"I just…. want honesty. No promises that I still have trouble believing, no dreams… just…. the here and now."
"Ok, then. So we still are in a heap of trouble, and it is still not over. I don't know when or if it'll ever be over. But here, and now, we are in that situation together, and we have been thrown in it without our wishes..." He said, his voice sounding a little dark, and sad.
He wasn't trying to make it all hopeful and glowing, no. Those were the facts. Starscream blinked, and glanced at him.
"I meant about us, not the situation….I still feel like we barely know one another."
"This is true... We are still kind of strangers to each other, and that makes the situation a little awkward." He sighed and looked back at him intensely. "Maybe that is why I have been hiding behind this optimism and those cliché phrases. I'm a little... unsure still. And I want to learn to know you better."
"As do I….." He said, shifting around to face him on the berth, optics studying him dimly. "So let's just do that. Nothing else… just…. get to know each other."
"Sounds like a plan." Optimus said, with a bit of warmth and calm in his voice "I'll tell you anything you want to know... Nothing should be hidden."
His optics lifted studying him. He still had the feeling he didn't get it… but he didn't push it, instead, slumping against the wall.
"When the war is over. What were your plans?"
"Honestly? I really don't know. I have been a war-time Leader by mechs long dead. I suppose I would like to retire and have a peaceful, calm life. Leading had never been what I wanted..."
"So then." Starscream eyed him. "There must be something you've envisioned yourself doing…. some interest that you'd like to take up again."
"I had always been interested in history and such... Maybe I would like to travel and get to go to places I have never seen and had always wanted to discover." He replied with a slightly distant tune, optics dimming a bit.
Starscream smiled at that. "I enjoyed exploration." He agreed. "New places, new things, unique compounds, specimens…. the ability to study them for all eternity until I learned what I wanted to know..."
"So you would like to return to that after the war? Then we have at least one thing in common. I've always wanted to explore and such but never had the means to do so."
"That's one thing I would like to do." He agreed quiely, optics distant. "though….part of that was born from a desire to just run away from everything, run away from the life I'd had to…. escape…. into endless possibilities."
"Do you still hold that wish? To run away and escape from your previous life?" he asked softly, his hand resting on Starscream's own on the berth.
"Yes…." He murmured. "At least, now…." his gaze dropped for a moment, then shifted over to regard him evenly. "My life is not anything of value in its current position as we left it…. Every day is a struggle, I have nothing to enjoy, nothing to look forward to."
Optimus held his gaze and he said, lifting a hand to gently touch a cheek.
"But now you do. You have something to look forward to..." He felt sad a bit but he knew this was right, Starscream's life as it was had been nothing but a Pit of sorrow.
"Do I?" He glanced over at him, optics deeply thoughtful. "If I go back there…. I will have even more of a lie to live, Optimus. I will have to hide our bond, still find a way to meet up with you, shoot at you in battle, and pretend nothing has changed…. when everything has."
Optimus's spark clenched and he felt the urge to just hug his seeker and make it all better. Instead he said, looking deeply serious. "Do you think that, even if we stay here, things will be better for you? For us?... It may, or may not. And... I don't think it's the solution. For you to be free, we'll have to destroy the source of your pain."
He held his gaze, optics studying him.
"For one who is so used to leading his men, you take the lead poorly when anticipating my thoughts." He mused, meeting optics with him. "I never thought that staying here would solve the problem….. while it is tempting to fight with Decepticons whom I respect, I know that my existence here is a paradox. Science dictates that I cannot exist in the same dimension as a living version of myself…. there have never been ways to test this before now, but I wonder if we will start feeling it soon…."
"Hum, yes, I heard that theory somwhere, probably from Perceptor or Skyfire, and it does makes sense. And I'm sorry, Starscream, it may seem paradoxal for a leader, but I had never been an ace at reading people. I know that staying here is impossible, and the sooner we get back, the better. I have the feeling the Autobots here haven't forgotten about us..." He pondered and then asked, looking at his mate seriously. "What effect should we expect?"
"Just…. do not judge people so quickly." He murmered. "Listen to them first…. everyone is so quick to judge…. we Decepticons were proof of that, we're branded as evil, cruel sadistc monsters…. but tell me, have you found me to be this?" He tilted his head slightly. "The longer we stay here, the more our bodies, our sparks may start to feel….torn, pull back to our own world…. it could destory us, or it may not."
"I'll try to keep this in mind, Starscream. I tend to jump to conclusions, you think? Hum... Maybe... I've been told so sometimes." He looked at him in the optics before continuing. "No, I havent see you as such, not once. I never felt this kind of thing from you. Which... surprised me at first, I may add." He nodded thoughtfully. "Hum, I see... Well, we have two brilliant minds to try to solve the problem, and I'm confident that you will succeed."
The seeker smiled faintly.
"I am guilty of the same. I hated all Autobots, believing they were the ones that had persecuted me….. blindly believed it, saw nothing else…." His optics dropped. "If I had not met you, I would not have thought any different."
Optimus's spark warmed at this confession and he smiled at him, touching his cheek softly for a moment.
"I can honestly tell that you shifted my view of the Decepticons the same way. I always try to see the good in everyone, but sometimes... It's hard."
"Our experiences colour our views." he agreed quietly, holding his optics. "I still don't know what I will do when we return….. All of this…" he guestured. "It's changed me."
'Well, we still have to go back and then... We need to put Megatron down for good. With him gone, things can start to change." He sighed and leaned against the wall. "And you're right, our experience tends to color our point of view about mechs and events. Its sad, and I even I aren't immune to this. No one is."
He nodded slowly, optics dim.
"You realize though…. what you are suggesting to me."
"Starscream..." he said seriously, optics focused on him. "You don't have to return to him when we come back. Stay with me, with the Autobots. I'm sure we can make it work..."
The seeker kept his gaze.
"That… is exactly what I thought you were suggesting." He muttered quietly. "And just how would your men feel about that… inviting the Decepticon second-in-command back to your base as a guest, not a prisoner….oh and by the way, we're bondmates now, surprise."
"I... see your point. It would be awkward, there'll be a lot of mistrust, and in the end, it may lead to some trouble but... Let me deal with my men. I can convince them to at least give you a chance... until Megatron is put down. After that... It'll make things easier, and more if you succeed."
He studied him intently, optics flickering.
"You would be willing to stand between your men and I? What if they demand that it be ended, what if they say I am influencing you, since it was forced it is invalid and needs to be terminated by any means necessary."
HIs optics held his with a dark calm. Optimus's optics didn't waver and he answered firmly.
"I will stand up for my mate, Starscream, anytime. Maybe it wasn't willing at first, but we had agreed to give it a chance. I will not let them try to terminate, you or this bond. If I need to, I will remove myself from command. I can, and I'm not affraid of standing for what I think is worth the risk."
His optics turned firm.
"No. You will not recede your leadership. If you do that, then they will have no one to bring them against Megatron." His optics flashed. "I am not afraid to admit that you are far stronger against him than I… if you step down, then who will rise up?"
Optimus had to agree on this. he was the only one capable of holding his own against Megatron in a fight, and he needed to be able to do just that.
"You are right... But still, I will not let you return to this monster. Not now that I know everything about what he does to you. The Autobots aren't all that bad... And I know some that will not be that hard to convince."
He just stared at him.
"And am I to have a choice in this?" He asked quietly. "You keep saying you 'won't allow me'…. but you have not yet asked what I want."
"I... I've got ahead of things again, haven't I? You can slap me if you want..." He said, looking like he wanted to slap himself in fact. He was an idiot... He said, then, asking. "When we return there, what do you want to do?"
Starscream smiled slightly at that, shaking his head.
"No, don't do that… I might like slapping you when we're having a little … foreplay. But the point is made….. I like being able to put you in your place now and then….." His gaze shifted. "I don't know yet. I haven't decided…. Were I to join you…. it would not be easy… returning is not any easier…. and going off on my own…. about the same."
"Choices, always choices, and hard ones. Life is just full of those." Optimus said softly, and he chuckled some. "I said you can, and I think I can take it! I'm stronger then I look, and made of some hard alloy..."
He just gave him a look, smirking.
"Yes, you're made of hard alloy all-right." He chuckled, wrapping his arms around his middle. "What about my wingmates. Or any others?"
"What about them?" Optimus asked curiously. "If they willingly want to help in defeating Megatron or anything... I dont see why I'd turn them away. I understand if you want them close... You trines have a special bond, dont you?"
He grimaced slightly.
"We used to." He agreed quietly. "We were a true trine once…. but… we grew apart and never renewed it after a spell…." His optics dropped. "It's not like other spark bonds… Trine bonds must be renewed constantly to keep it active. If it is not, it fades, dies, and can be broken…." He looked up at him. "We stopped renewing it a long time ago…. they have no particular preference for me…. but…. I offer them protection they would not have otherwise, and so they stay."
"I see... Do you regret never renewing the trine bond?" He asked, softly stroking his mate's back and wings.
Starscream leaned up against him, enjoying the attention.
"Yes…. every day." he said quietly. "But they are bonded…. I felt…. always an outsider to them…. they had something I never could understand or join in…. and every time Megatron took his anger out on me they would feel it…. and so I just took to avoiding it…. they didn't need to feel that, and I didn't want to feel excluded….. but it didn't work that way. We still grew apart."
"That's sad... But maybe, just maybe, if the war ends, you could work on renewing with them, trying to sow back the holes. If it pains you like that, I'd be glad to help... You don't have to feel rejected or unwanted anymore."
He rubbed little circles on the back of his wings.
"I know. I would like that…. but it may still be too late…" He glanced over at him, optics sad. "I was never innocent in this. I treated them like slag… I didn't deserve anything they had to offer, even if I had wanted it."
"Well, it would never hurt to try. If they really reject you, then you will still not be alone in this."
He held him close to him, feeling his nice warmth against his side.
"Yes… I would like that…." He agreed quietly. "I'm not sure what it is, but….this experience has made me re-think everything."
"I can say the same. I feel... less burdened somehow. After all this, we'll never be able to return to our lives as it was before. This is a fact... I know I wouldn't even want to."
"Yes…." Starscream agreed. "As much as I remember what happened to us sends shivers down my struts, I…. am glad it did happen."
Optimus looked at him and smiled, honest and kind.
"It is the same for me. I would go through it again if this led to the same result..." He let one digit trace the middle of a wing slowly.
Starscream shivvered at the touch, spark fluxing at the touch, warmth spreading through him as he leaned into him, layig half-across his lap, helm in his embrace.
"I never had a reason to fight, to live…. a real reason anyway. I had 'hate' and 'anger' and such…. but that wasn't real reasons."
"They were merely fuel" Optimus agreed, and he petted his mate's sleek wing a bit more, liking his closeness and his reaction. "Did I gave you some reasons to fight for?..."
Tilting his head up slightly, Starscream regarded him.
"Yes." He said finally. "You made me realize that I am worth something after all. Because you see something worth fighting for in me…. and while I still may not understand that…. I do believe it."
"I'm glad for that Starscream. And... I don't know if you realize it, but you are the first to see me as anything else then a symbol, an Icon, for a long time. You can see the mech behind the mask, and it feels... good to be appreciated like that."
He tilted his head back, watching him with deep rich maroon optics.
"Really? I would have thought that you would have less trouble finding a mate, a friend, a companion…. you're so approchable."
"I have few real friends. I have a lot of loyal Autobots, and I had had lovers, but they were all casual, and they all saw the Prime, not the mech. It gets... tiring, very quickly. So I distance myself from my men most of the time."
He blinked.
"There's a difference?"
"Yes, there is, because the Prime, is all powerful, infailible and untouchable. The closest thing to a Holy figure for the Autobots. Most of them are so reverent and almost afraid to directly deal with me that it is... unsettling. When I got the Matrix, I hadn't expected this."
Starscream seemed to consider that, his optics dimming in thought.
"I suppose I can understand that. The Matrix is something no one ever understood… and thus, rumors, fear, confusion surrounds it." He studied him. "You are the only one to know if it's really as powerful and holy as it seemed. Tell me… is it really a gift from Primus?" His lips twitched. "A gateway to the afterlife, a holy relic handed down from the ages, a weapon of mass-destruction… stop me anytime, I can keep going."
Optimus lifted a hand then and he said, smirking some.
"Don't be so dramatic! No Holy lightning will descend from the heaven to strike you if you dare say a bad thing about the matrix or of its Bearer. And while it is indeed a gift from Primus to our world, and a gate that could permit me to peek through the afterlife if I chose to do so, it doesn't make me all-powerful, and it doesn't make me invincible either. It is a holy relic, yes, and most sacred, but it is not a weapon, or the Wrath of Primus incarnated..."
He smirked, tucking his arm beneath his head and peering up at him.
"Hm… interesting to know. You realize, playing to those fears has helped a bit…. Megatron thinks if he gets his hand on it, it can be used against everyone… a weapon of sorts. I've told him that is of course rediculous…. you would have done so were it a weapon, there have been occassions where mas-destruction could have been called for.
"Do you think I would ever do such a thing, even if I did had the power?" Optimus sounded almost offended and he looked down at his seeker with a slight, amused frown. "Besides, even if Megatron did manage to get his servos on it, it wouldn't work for him. It wouldn't work for any Decepticons. It can only work for me, and a few handful of mechs that do not even exist anymore. It would be a useless piece of metal in his hands."
"No." He glanced up at him, optics amused. "Not now….. But before I did. And yes, I told him the same thing…. He never believed me of course, but what use was that."
"Megatron is the most aft-headed fool to ever walk Cybertron..." Optimus rolled his optics, absently playing with a wingtip, and he petted his seeker's helm gently. "Now you know that I would never be a killer, it's nice to know..."
Starscream snorted, lips twitching in amusement, squirming at the pinch of his wingtip.
"Yes…. you're a terrible fearsome killer. I'll help you spread that reputation as much as possible while you go collect your kittens."
"Hahaha, you're very funny, my dear Bondmate." Optimus stated, but the goofy smile in his faceplates showed how he was a click from bursting out laughing.
Starscream smiled proudly.
"Good. So glad you concur." He purred, sneaking a kiss from that goofy look. "I do try."
Optimus kissed back and pinched that wingtip that makes him wriggle so nicely.
"You are insufferable... And I think I love you for it too." He grinned and stole himself another kiss.
He wriggled happily in his lap, grinning wider, meeting the kiss lightly.
"Good. I'll keep playing that role, and hopefully you won't know any better."
"You little slagger..." He half-growled half-laughed, kissing his nose and then his mouth. "But you're my little slagger now."
"Yes…" He wrinkled his nose, and promptly responded with a pinch of his claws on a thigh joint. "I excell at being a slagger…. but somehow coming from your mouth its less of a curse and more of a compliment."
"I'm honored that you think so..." He purred and attacked his neck with a little teasing nuzzle. "You're the lovely little slagger that stole my spark..."
Starscream actually giggled slightly, letting him nibble and bite at his neck. "I don't think it was I that stole anything this time….. your silver tongue is far more golden than mine."
"Is it? Did I really best you in the sweet-talking departement? I'm shocked..." He replied and nibbled at another necks cable, trying to find a sweet spot there.
"You did." He murmered, leaning into his touch, arching slightly as he found a good place that sent tingles down his backstrut. "Because while I am a master at manipulation and lies…. sometimes the sweet-taste of truth is far more convincing."
"True, true... And I do like to dispense it when I feel it is needed." Optimus said and he rubbed little circles on the seeker's wings, his mouth still busy on his neck.
Starscream sighed, wings trembling and shivering under his touch.
"You're good at determining that."
"One of my many talents..." He whispered and held him close, only seeking to please and feel warmth.
Starscream smiled, optics shuttering as he leaned into him.
"And what other talents have you?"
"Hum... I could make you a list... But I will prefer if you work to discover them..." His optics were gleaming softly in mischievious amusement there.
"Oh hoh? Well then…" He peered up at him. "Enlighten me."
"Well, I have skills in giving speeches..." He nibbled at a neck cable. "I have been told that I ma a skilled tactician at times." A little kiss on the nose. "And I apparently can pull a heck of a load of paperwork in a very short time."
"All very impressive and outstanding….. if you were a desk clerk." He replied, rolling his optics with amusement as he bit back on his neck cables in retaliation.
"I have some nice battle skills, you had witnessed it firsthand a lot of time, and a heck of a good aim and I can kick Megatron's aft single-handedly." he chuckled, purring and tilting his head back.
"Boring." He said simply. "That's something everyone can brag…. though… aft-kicking does earn you kudos."
"Who else can whoop Megatron's aft in every single battle we ever fought huh? No one but little old me." he grinned back and kissed him.
"Getting warmer…. definately warmer." He murmered smirking as he dug his claws into his sides, playing with cables in his soft armor plating seams. "Talk of slaughtering that slag-maker turns me on."
Optimus wriggled when he was teased like that and he grinned at his mate, optics bright.
"I should talk about it more often then."
"Hmmm yes… do tell me, just what things do you have in mind for his torture…. fluffy bunnies? Kittens? Pink paint?"
"What about painting him all pink, sticking bunny ears and tail on his chassis, and locking him in a room full of kittens?" He cackled back and found a soft armor seam to torture on his hip joint.
"Pfft." Starscream rolled his optics. "Now that's just plain rediculous….." He paused. "But that image is most hystarical."
Optimus laughed and tweaked his wingtip playfully.
"Yes, very much so..." He planted a kiss on his lips again and rumbled his engines.
Starsceam smiled up at him, optics studying his face speclatively.
"But in all truth…. do you have any plans or ideas?"
Optimus tilted his head, and said seriously, absently rubbing his mate's wing.
"Well, the most important thing is to get him off-guard, and away from the Decepticon forces... To achieve this, we need a plan. To lure him..."
"And what would lure him most…. a promise of energon…. or a battle challange…."
"I think that, if I challenge to a fight for the finish, he would certainly come. He is prideful, and he could not refuse such a challenge. I am sure of it."
"Yes…. but there is no guarantee you would win if it were a fair fight." He pointed out peering at him. "If it was an unfair fight… maybe. But I doubt you'd agree to that."
Optimus locked optics with him, and tilted his head up with a large finger under his chin.
"Sometimes, in order to win, the rules have to be... bent. I can do that much. The fight would merely be a diversion to weaken him and prepare the real attack. Hopefuly, combining our forces, we will destroy him... I don't like it, but I don't see any other solution."
He nodded.
"If it is set up to be a distraction, then it might not violate your beliefs….. or…. if you purposely do not know my plans." he smiled tightly.
"It may be the best if I don't know what you are planning, only that "something' is planned to end him." He agreed and his look was deeply serious, yet laced with sadness.
"Yes…. but what if my plan doesn't work either." He said quietly.
"We will make it work and besides... I trust you to put all of your intelligence and deviousness in devising something that he will never see coming." Optimus replied, soft and confident.
Starscream studied him curiously.
"We need a plan first." he said quietly. "I want to do this right."
"Then we should work on it together, Starscream. If I know what you plan then... I can make sure that this is going to work. The plan must be infaillible."
He nodded, staring at him, optics worried.
"That's what I would prefer... to come up with something together to find all the loopholes."
"And it is together that, in the end, we should put him down, for good. If we're lucky, we'll have some help along the way... But it'll ends with someone's deactivation."
"Yes... it will." His optics narrowed darkly. "His."
"Indeed, I can't see any other end." He tilted his helm, a strange and slightly disturbing idea coming to his mind then. "Starscream... Now that we are bonded, do you think it would be possible that our sparks share the same... weird qualities that yours seems to have?"
He blinked, and looked up at him with startlement.
"It's possible." he said, sounding a little rattled. "Most sparkmates share features... though, certain things do not cross over, like Skywarp's warping ability... but... if this is in my spark." he trailed off, then turned, looking at his chassis, placing a hand flat on his windshield. "Let me look?"
Optimus was a little awed at the possibility and he nodded, opening his chestplates and letting the Matrix slid aside. His spark now lay bared, and he was still blue, but... He was starting to get a slight golden taint, at the edges.
"So, what does it looks like? It desn't feel different..."
Starscream stared into his spark cavity, the first time he'd actually spent time just studying it... his optics roaming over the Matrix, then shifting to his mate's spark, his optics brightening as he saw the glow.
"It does look different." he admitted, reaching in with a claw and lightly brushing the glowing area to see if he felt any residual energy prodding. There was that faint halo, a lot like his own that circled his gold spark, now ringing Optimus'. "It has the same ring as mine does."
"I see... Well, I suppose that we'll find out at some point, but it do looks like something had been passed to me." He tilted his head, feeling the prodding and arching some, it felt good...
"Maybe." Starscream mused, brushing again. "It could just be a reflection of the spark bond... I could shoot you in the spark and hope that it doens't kill us both." He joked, optics sparkling as he smirked up at him. "But that would hurt."
Optimus glared at him with a roll of his optics, pouting some, and then he chuckled.
"Please, don't. You may be immortal, but I'm not sure that I am. But... well, since you can't die and I am bonded to you, I'm willing to guess that I'll share this with you. Sparkbonds can be broken only be the death of one of the partners."
"So..."
He glanced up at him, resting his chin on the bottom of his open cavity, face bathed in the blue glow from his spark as he watched him.
"That means one of two things... if I cannot die, then you either cannot die either, or when you do die, the bond will break."
"That is my theory as well. When that time comes, we will know, won't we? But I'm sure it wouldn't come until a long, long time. A broken sparkbond is very painful, as I have heard..." He petted his seeker's wings and sighed, his optics a little sad.
Starscream smiled up at him, lightly caressing the spark, then turning his gaze towards the Matrix, hesitantly reaching out towards it, then thinking better of it, just in case... one never knew what was safe with that thing. Optimus let out a pleased mewl when he brushed his spark again and he felt the Matrix gently reach to Starscream when he reached for it. It was a semi sentient entity and sometimes could do things on its own...
Blinking, he glanced up at Optimus to ensure that it was ok, before he brushed his fingers against the Matrix, curious. Optimus let him, there was no malice in his thoughts or his approach and the artifact reacted to him with curiosity, its light increasing, and small tendrilss reaching slowly towards the fingers touching it. Optimus couldn't see what was happening, but he could feel the Matrix reacting. Starscream's optics widened as he stared at the facets, moving slow and cautiously in case the Matrix lashed out or reacted, gently playing with the tendrils, and letting it touch him in response, leaning closer, wondering what it might let him see.
The tendrils brushed against his hand and he could see images from Optimus's life, things that were really personnal, and then images from other lives, many of them, in quick successions. Until at the end, there was one big, warm and loving presence envellopping everything. Optimus saw it too and he was in awe. He knew what this was...
Starscream's optics flickered, turning inwards to watch the images, marveling at them, wondering. Previous Prime's memories, it must have been... from ages past... but at the finale, when the warmth presence appeared, confusion flickered through him for a moment even sensing Optimus' awe. What was it? He was a scientist, not a philosopher, and while Primus' existence was common theory, he'd never seen any hard evidence of his existence, and had never really bought into it much... sure it was possible but he would believe it when he saw it...
The warm presence seemed amused by his disbelief and enveloped him in a unadulterated love and care. This love, this care, was the same it had for all and every Cybertronian ever brought to existence and even if it didn't speake he could feel a fatherly kind of love that was emanating from it. Optimus sent Starscream his thoughts and he said, his tune sounding deeply awed and reverent.
-You know that I told you the Matrix is a gift from Primus? It is supposed to hold a speck of His spark...-
The seeker initially pulled back, a little startled and afraid at the sudden swell of... hugeness from the Matrix, but it was so warm and soothing, something that was completely unlike anything he'd ever felt. His creator had been no father... he was a ruler, and had been cold and dispassionate towards his creations... he had never had any warmth in his raising, it had all been training and discipline... so this just magnanimous feeling of... rightness, sent his processor whirling in a strange sense of confusion and wonder.
-Is it... really?-
-It is... Primus.- Optimus confirmed and his voice was low, and full of the reverence that should be felt in the presence of one's God.
The presence acknowledged him, and reached to him to brush his spark, gently, making him feel utterly small yet blessed to his very core. Yet again, there was no words but the feeling of words. 'My chosen...' Its attention turned back again to Starscream and brushed his spark too, feeling its uniqueness and it felt like it already knew. It was only love, and kindness. No one was beneath this entity's concern.
Starscream, for once... was struck completely silent. No thoughts came to his mind as he simply reveled in that presence, that feeling, awestruck and full of wonder, unable to do anything other than simply feel. It was... amazing... outstanding... He felt... appreciated and acknowledged, and in that moment, he knew that everything he knew about Primus had just been disproven and thrown out the window.
-He is our creator, all of us...-
Optimus felt like adding, his own awe, and wonder, not rendering him silent, but his voice voice low and deeply respectful. And indeed, the entity that touched them through the Matrix was all that and more. It was Cybertron, and Cybertron was it. It was there, had always been and would always be there, as long at its children needed Him. It felt like it hugged the seeker, warm arms wrapping around him and holding him in a fatherly, loving embrace for a moment, apparently knowing what he needed the most. A whisper in his audials. 'You are worthy...'
Starscream shivered, but his spark seemed to open up, soaring in wonder and appreciation, tears streaming down his cheeks, completely ignored as he focused on the internal revelation. A thought to deny that assertion never occurred to him. It was almost like an edict, a rule, not to be questioned or doubted... and his spark felt suddenly full and rich with wonder. And the first thing that tickled his processor was, why... why was he different, why was his spark immortal... would he and Optimus be together, would they be forced to separate... ever the scientist, he couldn't help himself in asking a million questions all at once, wanting to know.
There was a warm chuckle at so much questions, and the entity widened its reach to embrace Optimus as well, and the rightfulness of this all was so clear, so perfect, that he felt like crying as well, and tears were slowly streaming down his face, mirroring Starscream's. 'You... are blessed. Your joining was meant to be.' Cryptic, but could you expect a straight answer from a God?
Well Starscream tended to want to think so. Even though he didn't outright question the answer... his spark pouted. That wasn't good enough. Why?
'You were meant to be. The two of you, your sparks had always been drawn to each other's. You will bring a new era to Cybertron.' A less cryptic answer, but still a little dark. Optimus would've liked to slap his mate for questioning their Creator and those of their entire race, but the entity merely seemed amused, like a creator for its child's unending curiosity.
And still... Starscream's spark seemed to want to scream 'but but but...!' always curious, always wanting answers. He was never satisfied with cryptic responses. He always tried to pry more out, even when questioning one's God. The amusement at least made him hope he wasn't overstepping his bounds, and he always quesitoned any authority that stood in his way. Primus included.
His spark was brushed again softly, and the odd ring around it was prodded, but not with ill intents. 'The Immortal one... My most precious child...' He brushed Optimus's spark then and slowly brought the two together. 'And my Chosen One. Nothing in your lives had been random, nothing had been accidental. It was all meant to be.' He embraced Starscream again, and went through all of his pains, trials and tortures throughout his life. 'Your path gave you strength, a sharp edge.' And then He did the same to Optimus, and the Prime bowed his head, accepting the embrace fully. 'You have the spark of a creator, my Chosen. You were meant to be.'
Somehow, even with that, Starscream still wanted to pout. It didn't answer why, it was just more whimsical whispers... his spark twisted, reaching out to its mate, agitated, curious, insatiably so, even more so with the more open-ended statements that just made him wonder even more
'You can't have all the answers, my Child. But you will find them along the way.' There was a last embrace, and the presence started to retreat, leaving them through the Matrix, until the artifact laid dormant yet again.
Starscream made a slightly unhappy whine, but as the presence faded, he sat back, dazed, spark beating rapidly, everything strangely muted around him as he tried to process everything, still feeling overwhelmed.
Optimus was looking at him, feeling him nestled against his chest and he stroked his back gently.
-You can't expect to get the answer to everything...- He said calmly, his tune still full of awe and wonder.
-Yes I can.- He replied sulkily, staring into his optics, cleanser staining his cheeks, optics still wide.
-Maybe... But not today.- Optimus replied and lifted a hand to gently brush his cheeks, wiping the tears away.
Starscream's optics dimmed, half-shuttering as he leaned into his touch, sighing slightly, his spark still elated.
"That was..."
Optimus held him and felt his awe, and wonder, strong through the bond.
"It was Primus." Was the simple yet powerful answer that he gave him. "I did not know the Matrix could do that..."
"I didn't really know he was real."
"Even as the Bearer of the Matrix, I had my doubts too. This was... overwhelming." He replied and just laid there, wondering.
"Yes." He agreed quietly, optics lifting to stare at him. "Do you believe in all that... Destiny... that we were designed for one another...?"
"I'm not sure, but since the first time that our sparks touched, I felt a sense of... rightfulness. So maybe... We were meant to be." he replied and nuzzled his helm soothingly.
He curled his claws around his helm, holding it close to his shoulder, laying there, still bewildered and in awe.
"I never believed in destiny... someone else setting my path..." He murmered. "I believed that it was always my choice... but... well given all I have been through that has not been my choice..." he trailed off. "It wasn't the life I wanted..."
Optimus rubbed his back and let his calm, his care and love for him, slip through the bond.
"Don't feel saddened about it. You always have the choice. I don't think Primus himself would make our lives a completely predetermined path. It is more like endless different paths that our choices will open for us..."
"Maybe." He mused, quietly. "But If I had a choice, I would never go through that kind of torture and rape again..."
"Me neither..." Optimus replied with a shudder. Thinking about it made his mettalic skin crawl. "Let's just hope that we'll be back home before those Autobots get even near here."
"I hope so." He agreed, nodding against him. "I...don't want to go through that again."
"I dont know if I could either... That would break something, and not physically." He replied, optics dimming and frowning some.
He nodded, optics dimming.
"I tried to disassociate... but it didn't work. Not this time. And I wasn't strong enough to block."
He hugged him, rubbing his wings.
"Don't think about it... We'll get away from here before they can get to us again, hopefully..."
He wasn't so sure about it, but he was hoping...
"We need to consider what we can do to keep sane." He peered up at him, optics wavering.
"Yes... Just in case." He replied and his optics were shining darker, serious.
Starscream nodded, but smiled up at him, optics warm.
"It doesn't matter. We have each other."
"Yes, we should be able to support one another, should this ever happened again." He smiled back.
He smiled, sighing as he relaxed against him.
"Yes..."
He reached through the bond and gently brushed his end of it, humming softly and deeply. He just held him, in silence, and relaxed. Starscream smiled again, returning the brush as his systems cycled down, humming in contentment, just wanting to lay there and enjoy his spark's presence... his own fluttering and jittery still. Optimus's intakes slowed as his systems cycled down and into a deep, quiet hum. He felt Starscream's fluttering spark and tried to brush it and make it better. The seeker's spark clung to his through the bond, hugging gently, but continued fluttering, still worked up and excited... even though his systems recharged, his spark seemed to bounce and move every way.
Optimus fell into recharge slowly and his spark kept feeding Starscream's his calmness, and trying to calm and reassure him some. He was a little amused by his giddiness and the way he was bouncing all around. Well... that was how a seeker behaved and worked. His spark eased somewhat once his systems were deep in recharge, but he was still bouncy and eager, excited. Optimus's own was amused and happy with this and he just brushed gently with him throughout their recharge cycle. It felt good and kinda strange at the same time to feel such a different kind of spark from his own.
-TBC-
