"Neela…Neela common sweetie you gotta wake up for me…" I hear Abby's voice call to me, brining me back from the darkness. "Common Neela…"

I open my eyes slowly and moan, blinking rapidly and bringing a hand to my head. "What happened?" I mumble incoherently, still attempting to see more then just blurs in the room with me.

"You passed out…hit your head." Abby replies "No concussion or head trauma but you did go to sleep for a while…had me worried."

My vision becomes clear again just in time to see the worried look on her face. I take a deep breath and close my eyes again, leaning my head back against the pillow before suddenly shooting straight up in the bed. "Ray…oh god he was…I have to be with him I…"

I throw the blankets aside and attempt to get up from the bed, but Abby quickly moves in to stop me, placing her hands on my shoulders and quickly guiding me back onto the bed, laying me down.

"Ray is fine Neela…he came out of surgery, he's in recovery he is going to be fine. The bullet missed his major organs and arteries…you got him here just in time, they were able to get him blood, fix him up…you saved his life Neela."

She gives me a small smile, but I can't help but feel worse at the news. I hadn't done anything but sit there, cradle him in my arms and beg for to be shot as well. The reason we had arrived here in time…the reason Ray was alive was all because of…

"Michael…" I say out loud, my eyed widening as I remembered…the gunshot, the sight of him lying on the floor of the ER, all the blood… "Oh god Michael…" I put my head in my hands and close my eyes, trying to shut out the memories of the tragic end of Michael Gallant, my husband, my friend…I really did love him, despite everything that happened between us recently, and everything I felt for Ray. It wasn't the same though; I loved Ray with all my heart that I was certain of now. Michael was a different kind of love all together, one that had posed as the true love I felt for Ray.

Abby pulls me into a hug again, whispering into my shoulder. "I'm sorry sweetie…he gave Jerry a note…explained everything that happened just before…the cops showed up wanting statements but Kerry scared them away…least for now…"

I smile at her warmly, glad to have at least a few moments to collect my thoughts before having to recount all that had happened back at Ray and I's apartment. Things still felt a little fuzzy to me it had all happened so quickly…the screaming, the shots…If Ray hadn't of stepped in front of me it would be me in that recovery room now…or in the morgue, right next to Michael because I'm sure if he had killed me, Ray most certainly would have killed him. I close my eyes for a moment and take a deep breath before opening them and looking to Abby once more.



"I want to see him." I say quietly "I…I have to see him…Abby…please."

Abby nods quietly, glancing back at the monitor she had set me up on. "You seem to be alright now, had us worried for a while there when you passed out and hit your head like that…" She reaches over and unhooks me from the machine, then helps me up from the bed, out into the hall and towards the elevator. My heart was racing the whole ride up, the long walk down the hall that had always seemed so small before…I swallow as I reach for the handle on the door to Ray's room. I didn't want to see him lying there all helpless, because of me…he almost died and it was all because he loved me.

I step inside the room, not even daring to turn on the light, my eyes fixed on the dark shape on the bed. I move to his side like a robot working on its program, taking his hand in mine, tears welling in my eyes. "Ray…" I whisper, moving my free hand to brush his usually spiky, but now flattened hair from his forehead so I could lean down to kiss it gently.

He stirs slightly at my touch; eyes slowly creeping open to look into mine, only causing my tears to pour harder.

"Neela…" he says, his voice a hushed whisper

I nod and swallow again. "Yes Ray, it's me…" came my choked answer

"You're ok…" he says, trying to sit up, but I stop him, shaking my head.

"Yes Ray I'm fine…it's you I'm worried about…"

"I'm fine…got the miracle of morphine workin for me…what about Michael? They take him to jail?"

I look down, wiping my eyes and taking a deep breath, shaking my head as I find myself unable to speak. I sniffle and look up again, his soft eyes only making me feel worse. He brings a hand to cup my cheek and I clear my throat, managing to choke out "He's dead Ray…just after they admitted you he…shot himself." I break down, burying my head into his chest. He strokes my hair lightly, silently as I sob into his chest, the sound of his heart beating and the feel as his chest rises and falls calming me slightly.

"It will be ok Neela…" he whispers, kissing the top of my head "I'm fine and you're fine…we can get passed this…I love you and I know we can get passed this."

I lift my head from his chest, once again wiping the tears from my eyes. I loved him so much but was that enough? I loved Michael and look what happened to him…I swallow and shake my head.

"No Ray…" I say quietly, moving away from the bed "I can't…"

"What?" he asks, giving me a look that crushed my heart to see


"I can't do this I…Michael is dead you almost went with him…"

He shakes his head "Neela…bad as this may sound, Michael is gone. We aren't in any danger anymore…unless you have other jealous army husbands out there…we don't have to hide anymore…pretend there's nothing between us. You love me an I love you that's all we need…"

I sigh, bringing a hand to my head as I began to feel light headed again. This was all…too much at once…these past few…whatever it's been…I couldn't believe I was even considering leaving him like this after all he did for me when Michael was away, when Michael and I were fighting…he loved me and here I was spitting in his face.

"Neela…" I hear his voice say my name, but it felt like he was miles away from me. My eyes droop and I feel my legs fall beneath me…

But I never felt myself hit the ground.