Disclaimer: I was not thinking of Wicked when I wrote this story. Wicked was thinking me. Who authorizes automatic writing?

A/N: I know, I know. I don't even have a decent excuse. To put it simply: college + work: no life.

I'm so, so very sorry.

As usual, I can't tell you how much I love reading your reviews, my lovely, lovely readers. You truly make my day when I come back home after working my ass off to be able to afford studying. Really, thanks to all of you who review, and to those who simply read.

Bad news: My beta has gone away on vacation 'til next month, so this chapter is, sadly, un-beta'ed. Feel free to correct anything you think is off. Only, pm me if you think you are gonna make me cry? :)

Without further ado, chapter nine. Enjoy:


Chapter nine:

" Of awkward dates and good advice "


Awkward, awkward, awkward.

It was the only way Fiyero could describe this horrible, awkward, situation.

As he idly watched waiters come and go with plates, Fiyero wondered what had he ever done that was bad enough to deserve such a cruel twist of fate.

Elphaba didn't like him back, apparently. He could deal with that, of that he was certain. He could make sure she realized just how wonderful and perfect for her he was.

What he couldn't deal with was Elphaba setting him up with Galinda who had, apparently, recovered her previous crush on him. That was a disaster. With a girl like Galinda after him; his efforts to court Elphaba were doomed to failure. Especially if she insisted on being all over him whenever Elphaba was near.

Across the candlelit table, Galinda seemed to be reading the menu. Fiyero thought that must be a different menu that the one he'd got, because she'd been reading the thing for almost half an hour.

Awkward.

Fiyero took Galinda's glass to pour her some of the exquisite, incredibly expensive -and apparently already paid for- wine, if only to have something to do besides stare at the wall.

"Well. This is really, uh, nice, don't you think?"

Galinda didn't even look up from the menu.

"Galinda?"

This was beyond awkward, this was insulting! If Galinda was going to make Elphaba trick him into going on a date with her, the least she could do was make sure the date was actually a good one!

Fiyero slammed the bottle of wine on the table.

That caught Galinda's attention.

"Fiyero!" she admonished, "What are you doing?"

Fiyero put on his sweetest smile. "Galinda, would you care for a glass of wine?"

Galinda looked at the glass, surprised. And, Fiyero thought, maybe the slightest bit horrified.

"You bought wine?"

"No." Fiyero answered quickly. Wine meant romance, and he didn't want Galinda to get the wrong idea. Wronger idea. "The waiter brought it. It is, apparently, already paid for."

Galinda nodded slowly.

"Oh." she said, and began to play with a pink bracelet on her wrist, avoiding Fiyero's gaze.

Fiyero could easily understand her nervousness. Poor Galinda.

After all, she had broken up with him, and now realized that she wanted him back when he had already moved on.

I have to clear things up sooner than later, he decided, taking a sip of his wine. Otherwise, someone was bound to get hurt.

Before he could say anything, tough, the annoying waiter with the snobbish attitude reappeared.

"Are you ready to order?"

Fiyero opened his mouth to respond but, as per usual, Galinda was quicker.

"Who paid for the wine?"

The waiter looked uncomfortable. Perhaps, Fiyero thought, he had been ordered not to reveal their benefactor's identity. Or maybe, it was the slightly demented glean in Galinda's eyes.

"The same person who paid for everything else, Miss"

Galinda smiled, and Fiyero thought she seemed kind of… devious.

"I see." she said and frowned for a moment, appearing to be deep in thought. "What's the most expensive item in the menu?"

"Hmh, that would be the flambé duck, Miss."

Galinda nodded and smiled again.

"I'll have that."

The waiter took note of her request and looked at Fiyero. "And you, Master?"

Galinda, of course, didn't let Fiyero answer. "He'll have the second most expensive item in the menu."

The waiter gave Fiyero a questioning look, but Fiyero simply shrugged as if to say "Women, you know how they are."

The waiter noted 'Fiyero's' choice, gave a little bow and left the pair alone.

Fiyero only hoped he didn't get escargot, or something similarly repulsive.


Galinda was going to murder Elphaba.

She was going to murder her with a tea spoon. Then, she was going to magick her life back into her, and she was going to kill her again. And then, she would get her a brain that could actually get a dammed clue and realize Galinda wanted her! And then-

"Galinda, is your food all right?"

Galinda gave Fiyero an old fashioned, heartfelt glare. "It's fine!"

Really, thought Galinda, Fiyero doesn't have to look so scared. A girl raises her voice a little…

"You are sort of…stabbing it."

"That's nonsense!"

Actually, it was kind of nice to stab the thing.

"Why" stab "-would I do" stab, stab, stab. "such a thing, Fiyero dearest?"

Fiyero looked around frantically, as if to search for possible escape routes. "I don't, I.."

Stab.

"Yes?"

"Nothing." Fiyero answered, and shoved an enormous piece of his funny looking meat – or was it chicken?- in his mouth. "What a delicious meal, uh?"

Galinda was going to kill Elphaba so many times her relatives back in Munchkinland would feel the pain.


After about what seemed to Galinda hours of excruciating awkward silence, only disrupted by the sounds of Fiyero's munching, both of them had finished their meals.

Or rather, Fiyero had finished her meal and Galinda had ripped hers apart into something unrecognizable.

"Galinda?"

What's Fiyero still doing here?

"Yes?"

Fiyero, looking extremely unconformable, filled Galinda's glass again and took a deep breath.

"Listen, Galinda. I have something to confess…"

Fiyero cleared his throat and tidied imaginary wrinkles in the cuffs of his shirt, "I don't want to hurt your feelings, but-"

Galinda gave him and encouraging look.

"It's actually a funny story. You know how you sometimes have feelings for this girl? Well, not you. You wouldn't have feelings for a girl. But me. I have feelings for this girl."

Fiyero paused to catch his breath, and immediately started talking again, "And this girl, this wonderful girl, comes to me and asks me on a date, and I say yes, of course. And Saturday arrives, and the date is perfect, but the girl I'm on a date is not that girl. The one I have feelings for."

If Galinda hadn't already known what Fiyero was talking about, she may have gotten a little confused.

As it was, she understood perfectly what he meant.

Fiyero shrugged a little and sighed. "I'm really sorry." he concluded.

Galinda shook her head slowly. "It's all right, Fiyero. I understand."

Fiyero, who had been maybe the littlest bit scared for his life, gave her a baffled look.

"You do?" he asked.

"I really, really do."

Since Fiyero didn't seem to be any less confusifyed, Galinda elaborated, "Let's just say, you're not that girl either."

Fiyero laughed loudly. "Well, of course I'm not! That's ridi-" He started, but then he stopped mid-sentence and frowned.

"Oh."

Fiyero took a long drink from his wine, "Really?" he asked "Really?"

Galinda nodded.

"We really do deserve each other, uh?"


Fiyero opened the door of the restaurant for Galinda, and both exited the building.

Galinda gave him a polite smile. "Thank you, Fiyero. Always the perfect gentleman, Aren't you?"

Fiyero executed an overly dramatic bow as he buttoned his coat, "Thank you. It's the way I was raised: Ladies first."

"I can only assume, then, that you're going to apply your gentlemanly education to our peculiar situation, and step aside."

Fiyero's innocent look was the most unconvincing one Galinda had ever seen.

"What do you mean?" he inquired.

Galinda rolled her eyes, "You know perfectly well what I mean, Fiyero. You will leave Elphaba alone."

"No, I won't."

Galinda barely resisted the urge to throw a temper tantrum like a petulant child.

"What? But, you must! Ladies first, didn't you say?"

"Galinda, you can't actually expect me to give up on the girl I love for something as stupid as chivalry. You can stand a fair fight."

And Galinda couldn't really ask him to give up on the girl he loved. But she didn't want to have to fight for Elphaba's affections either.

She just wanted Elphaba to understand.


And Galinda says my books are complicated.

Elphaba had been reading one of Galinda's romance novels for the last two hours. She was only on chapter ten, and already, the heroine and her one true love had almost (but not quite) gotten married five times, discovered they were brothers, or was it cousins? two times and, the evil stepmother (Cassandra Malevolous, of all the moronic names in the word) had died the grand total of three times.

It was the most unintelligible piece of rubbish she had ever had the misfortune of reading.

An yet, she couldn't stop reading. Or rather, she wouldn't. For when she stopped reading, the thinking started. And thinking, by default, led to thoughts.

And her thoughts were very disturbing.

Elphaba shook her head and continued her reading of The Tawny Gold Man.

When, about half an hour later, Cassandra Malevolous managed to return from death yet again to reveal that she was in fact, not only an evil stepmother but a loyal server of Tristan's Evil Uncle, Elphaba decided she would rather face her disturbing thoughts.

She left the book in Galinda's nightstand and started walking around her room, trying to find something else to do. Of course, she found nothing.

She sat at the desk and opened one of her philosophy books, only to close it again immediately.

Really, it was too late for reading.

Speaking of which, Galinda should be here already.

What are they doing?

Elphaba shook her head again, and sighed. Those kind of thoughts were the ones that had plagued her all evening, ever since Fiyero and Galinda had left.

Maybe I should go find her, she considered, and quickly abandoned the notion.

She was being ridiculous. After all, wasn't she the one who had set the pair up? This was her great plan. Her life was going to go back to normal. She was going to be happy.

And still, she couldn't shake the feeling that somehow this situation was wrong.

She didn't want Galinda to be out with Fiyero, she wanted Galinda to be here, with her. Even if she was crazy. Even if Elphaba couldn't think properly when Galinda was near. Even if Galinda could get Elphaba to do anything just by…being.

Sweet Ozma, I am the saddest little artichoke alive.

Elphaba got up and started pacing again.

It's all right, it's fine. Galinda and Fiyero are perfect for each other, this is what I wanted. It's perfect. It is.

It wasn't. Elphaba wasn't able, for the life of her, to explain why, but it wasn't perfect. It was horrible.

I need something to do. Or a very, incredibly, barely legal strong drink.

She decided that since it was Saturday, and her roommate was already out, she might as well go take a walk.

If, by pure chance she managed to walk by the restaurant Galinda and Fiyero where at, well, she would be obligated by her good manners to go inside and say hello. And maybe, she should also try to be a good roommate and bring a coat for Galinda, since it was so cold outside. Something black. And nunish.

Or maybe she should just go somewhere to get that drink. Or go bang her head against a wall until she fainted, and wake up when her life was back to normal.

Forget the drink, Elphaba told herself as she crossed the door, you should get professional help.


"Are you sure you don't want me to walk you to your room?"

Galinda nodded, "Yes, I'm pretty sure Fiyero." She said, and added a vicious scowl for good measure.

"You can't seriously be angry at me!"

"I most certainly can, and I am!"

Fiyero snorted, rolling his eyes. "That's absurd."

"Well, your face is absurder. Elphaba won't ever like you with that, that absurd face!"

Fiyero frowned, confused. He opened and closed his mouth several times before saying, "That doesn't even make sense! And my face is not absurd!"

Galinda rolled her eyes. "Please, it's extremely absurd. All big and brown and absurd."

Galinda inspected her pink fingernails carefully and smiled. "You know, pink goes much better with green that brown. Absurd brown, at that."

Fiyero crossed his arms and tilted his chin upwards, looking every bit the spoiled child that Galinda was sure he was. "Stop saying I'm absurd!"

"It suits you, Fiyero darling." Galinda responded, and repeated slowly, "Absurd. Absur-"

"Fine!" Fiyero shouted, interrupting Galinda. "Well see who is the absurderest of this pair when Elphaba makes her choice."

"Fine."

When Galinda had left in an offended fluffy pink blur, Fiyero kicked the ground.

This was bad. Any other competition, he could've dealt with. But this wasn't fair! He might not be the most smart of men, but he wasn't completely brainless, either. He'd seen the way Elphaba acted around Galinda. If she wasn't in love with the blonde already, she was dangerously near.

"I'm screwed." he sighed, "Wonder if they sell tighter pants that these? Maybe pink. I need pink."


Galinda wandered around campus for a while, trying to cool off some of her anger. She considered that being angry at everything probably wasn't a good thing. Risky for premature aging, she was sure.

She was angry at Fiyero, for having the nerve to want to take her Elphaba away from her. She was angry at Elphaba, for being so damn dense. She was angry at herself, for being such a coward; all this would be much easier if she just could own up and tell Elphaba plainly – with short and simple words- that she wanted her.

Also, she was a little bit angry at her parents for having raised a coward. And because, surely, they had fed her one too many vegetables causing a strange and unhealthy obsession with green.

Yes, that's it. Galinda thought, too much broccoli in my youth.

Galinda stopped walking to laugh at herself, That has to be the dumbest thing I've ever thought.

Well, aside from thinking Elphaba would ever see what's right in front of her.

Luckily for Galinda, before her line of thought could fuel her anger ever more, she heard someone calling her name.

"Galinda!"

Galinda turned around to find Boq walking towards her with an offended looking Milla on his arm. Galinda had the distinct impression that she was interrupting a nice date.

"Hello Boq, Milla." Galinda said, smirking. "Am I interrupting something?"

Both Milla and Boq blushed furiously, which Galinda thought made the pair look kind of adorable.

"No, of course…I mean - " Milla stammered, and looked at Boq as if searching for approval "Maybe? Yes."

Boq smiled dumbly and nodded. "I think you are interrupting something, Miss Galinda."

Boq and Milla proceeded to completely ignore Galinda to make eyes at each other. Before the sheer amount of envy she was feeling managed to turn her as green as Elphaba, she decided she'd better say something to stop the hideous display of affection.

I'm beginning to sound as cynical as Elphie.

"I'm happy for you." Galinda said, raising her voice a little to get the pair's attention.

Boq came back to reality first. Giving Galinda a fond, and maybe still a bit dumb, smile. "Thank you, Miss Galinda."

"Galinda," Milla interceded, "Weren't you going on a date today?"

Galinda groaned and rolled her eyes as dramatically as she could. "Turns out my date was a complete disaster."

Milla looked surprised. "Really?" she asked, "But you were so very excited about it."

Galinda stared at the ground. "I know." she sighed, "Apparently, my expectative of the date was very, very wrong."

Milla nodded in understanding, and Boq frowned in confusion.

"Well," Milla began, "Surely you didn't expect Elphaba, of all people, to be a consummate romantic."

Galinda laughed. "Well, she will have to learn if she isn't. But that's not the rea-" Galinda stopped talking abruptly.

"Wait."

While Galinda's brain processed, and Boq continued to look incredibly lost, Milla continued talking.

"Galinda, ShenShen and Pfanne maybe be a little…" she waved her hand, appearing to be trying too find the correct word, "Idiotic."

Boq gave her a reproachful look, but she simply shrugged and continued, "But I'm not them, and I'm not blind, you know?"

Galinda sighed again and looked at her shoes. "And I'm kind of obvious, aren't I"

"Well, yes. Painfully so." Milla said, and Boq nodded in agreement.

Galinda laughed, "I've said this once, I'll say it again. I'm not obvious enough. Not to her."

Milla patted Galinda awkwardly on the shoulder. "Yes," she said, looking towards Boq's direction. "it is a bit difficult to deal with the slow ones."

"Hey!" interjected Boq "I resent that."

Milla simply gave him a lopsided grin "Of course you do, darling." She turned her attention back to Galinda, "Now, your turtle. Have you tried the jealousy tactic?"

"Oh, yes. It worked fantastically."

Galinda laughed darkly. "I flirted with Fiyero shamelessly all week, and by Saturday she had arranged a romantic dinner for two in the Golden Duck."

Mila's eyes got wide in disbelief. "And you are complaining? If this one ever took me to the Golden Duck-"

Galinda put up a hand to stop her.

"For Fiyero and me." she explained, "She set us up on a date."

Milla and Boq cracked up laughing. A real laugh, the type that boomed out with joy in a way which made Galinda pretty sure her friends were sadists.

After a few minutes, Milla recovered enough to speak.

"I can't believe it, that's priceless!" She exclaimed, between bouts of laughing.

"You better believe it, because she did it."

Milla shook her head slowly. "Priceless. Priceless."

Boq must have noticed that Galinda didn't find her situation quite as funny as Milla did.

"Why don't you tell her, Galinda?" he asked softly, in a way that reminded Galinda of the way her father talked when he was trying to get her to stop crying over something silly.

However, the question itself was so daft, that if Galinda wasn't such a lady, she might have snorted. "I can't tell her, Boq! Are you insane?"

Boq didn't look crazy, merely confused. "Why not?"

"What if she doesn't feel the same?"

Boq shrugged, "Then, she breaks your heart. But," He looked at Milla, who was beginning to look maybe a little bit jealous, "It mends."

Galinda shook her head vigorously. "I don't think mine will. Not if she breaks it."

"This way," she added, "at least I have some hope."

As Milla had done earlier, Boq put his hand on Galinda's shoulder. Only, for some reason, Boq hand didn't feel as awkward as Milla's had felt.

"I don't think you need to Hope, Miss Galinda." he said, "I think you need to tell her."

Galinda supposed Boq knew quite a bit about rejection.

"I think he's right." added Milla. "Thought I can't see why would you want Elphaba, of all the people you have to choose from. You'll never hear the end of it if Pfanne and ShenShen find out."

Boq elbowed Milla on the ribs.

"Ouch, that hurt! You little piece of-" Boq looked at her square in the eye. "I know, make Galinda feel better, not worse. You should tell her, Bocky is right."

"I know." Responded Galinda. "Still, right seldom equals easy."


Elphaba was freezing. She supposed it had to do with not having taken a coat to her casual walk, or maybe because she had walked all the way to the Golden Duck, in the hopes of casually finding Galinda and Fiyero. Or maybe, it was the wandering around secluded spots of campus, interrupting various young couples. Needless to say, with her luck, none of them were the young couple she was looking for.

Fortunately, when Elphaba crossed the door, trembling, Galinda was already in their room. The amount of relief Elphaba felt at knowing Galinda wasn't in Fiyero's room, would have been scarier if Elphaba wasn't so cold that she could think properly.

Elphaba closed the door softly and sat besides Galinda in her pink fluffy bed.

"Hello."

When Galinda looked up, Elphaba noticed she didn't appear to be exactly shining with happiness. Or a little bit happy.

Actually, she looked kind of miserable.

"Is everything all right, Galinda?" Elphaba asked.

Galinda chewed the inside of her lower lip, and Elphaba feared she was about to cry.

Luckily for Elphaba, who had absolutely no idea how to deal with a crying Galinda, she didn't. Instead, she simply answered, "Yes."

"Then why are you-"

"I mean no. No, everything isn't all right Elphie."

Elphaba frowned. "Your date with Fiyero wasn't good?"

Galinda shook her head, still looking as if she was about to burst into tears any second.

"No, it wasn't."

"He wasn't –" Elphaba began, but Galinda didn't let her finish.

"It had nothing to do with him, Elphie." Galinda said.

Elphaba had no idea what Galinda meant, so she said nothing and, for a few seconds, the room was filled with nothing but silence.

Then, abruptly, Galinda got up from the bed and took an audible breath.

"It was me, Elphie. Fiyero's not…I didn't want to be on a date with him."

Oh no, no.

This was a disaster! Had Elphaba chosen the wrong boy? It was impossible, she had been so sure.

She had been wrong.

She had been wrong and she had set up Galinda on a date with a boy she didn't want to be with, and it must've been horrible, and awkward, and now Galinda was sad or angry or both, and Elphaba had no idea what to do.

"I'm sorry." She apologized. "I'm so very sorry Galinda. I don't know what I was thinking, I-"

Now Elphaba had also gotten up, and she was pacing around the room.

"I thought you were still in love with him, I though – I just wanted you to be normal again, happy. I figured you were still crazy about him, I…I'm sorry."

"I'm not in love with Fiyero. I can't."

Elphaba saw Galinda clench her little fists, and take another deep breath. "I- I have feelings for someone else."

Elphaba groaned and buried her face in her hands. "Oh, Oz. I'm and idiot. It's Avaric, isn't it? I knew I shouldn't have crossed him out so easily."

Galinda didn't answer, she simply stood there, eyes fixed on her shoes, about to burst into tears.

"No, not Avaric, that's ridiculous."

Galinda laughed darkly. "You really don't see it, don't you?"

Elphaba, caught up in her frantic pacing, barely noticed that Galinda had spoken.

"Boq, I knew it. I should have chosen Boq. Idiot."

"Oh, for Ozma's sake!"

Elphaba was a little taken aback by the force with which Galinda grabbed her by the shoulders.

"I don't want Boq, or Avaric, or whoever the hell you're going to suggest next!" Galinda shouted, "I want you, you green imbecile!"

Elphaba's first thought was, I don't appreciate being called and imbecile, thank you very much. But when she was about to say as much, something hit her.

I want you. Galinda had said.

You.

You, who was Elphaba.

"Oh." Was all Elphaba could say.