Not to spoil you guys or anything, but here's another update! I'm very grateful for the reviews that were submitted. Your responses to this story have actually given me a bit more fire to continue it. However, I can't help but notice that I keep getting new followers but less and less reviews. Please review and let me know your thoughts, you guys! I'm asking as a writer. We need constant feedback! ;) Anyways, I had a lot of fun with this chapter, and I hope everyone enjoys it!
The woman smiled politely at the man. "Is my daughter here?"
Nathan stared at her, wide-eyed. "Umm…" That was apparently all he could manage to say, and he could feel his cheeks flushing red with embarrassment. At least now he knew where he recognized the woman from. He'd seen a few pictures of her scattered around Haley's apartment. And now she was here, asking him a simple question that he couldn't even seem to answer.
"Mom?" Haley questioned loudly as she emerged from the hallway. She had put on some more modest clothing, a pair of pajama pants and an old sweatshirt.
Lydia smiled when she heard her daughter's voice, pushing her away around the lean boy in front of her. "Hi, baby." She pulled her daughter in for a hard hug.
Nathan was still so very confused. He shut the door behind Haley's mother and turned around, watching Haley. She looked incredibly uncomfortable around her mother, nothing like in the family pictures scattered around the apartment.
Haley did not return her mother's hug, and when the older woman finally pulled away Haley tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and then crossed her arms over her chest. "What, um…what are you doing here, Mom?" she asked nervously. She was silently praying that she could find a way to get her mom out of there, because if not she would inevitably have to talk to her about both her drinking and Nathan, who her mom did not even know about yet.
"Well, you wouldn't return any of my calls, so I figured I would just pop by," Lydia answered with a bright smile.
Nathan made his way over to the two women, still shirtless and still confused. He knew that Haley had been dodging her calls, and he knew why, but the woman seemed nice enough. She was actually quite chipper.
Lydia turned when she saw the shirtless young man approaching. "And who is this fine young hunk?" she questioned with a teasing smile.
Nathan smirked and extended his hand to her. "I'm Nathan."
Shaking his hand, Lydia responded, "Hi, Nathan. I am Lydia James, Haley's mother. It's nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you, too, ma'am," Nathan replied, dropping her hand. He turned to face Haley.
Haley's eyes were wide as she looked at Nathan, and after a few moments of silence she cleared her throat. "Nathan, can I um…speak to you in the other room for just one second?"
"Well, are you sure?" Nathan answered. He didn't want to leave her mother stranded in the living room when she had just arrived. "I can just go if you-"
Haley cleared her throat again and smacked Nathan's chest as hard as she could. "The other room," she repeated. "Just for a minute."
Nathan followed her out of the living room, down the hall, and to her bedroom, all the while rubbing his chest because for a small girl Haley sure could pack a good punch. "What the hell, Hales?" he hissed once she had closed the door. "Why did you hit me?"
"Because you are not going anywhere," Haley responded in a threatening tone. "I don't care what your plans are for the day. You are staying right here because if you're here, she may not try to talk to me."
Nathan sighed softly. "Don't you think maybe you should talk to her? She's your mom, Hales. She just cares about you."
Haley smiled wryly. "No, I don't think that I should talk to her. She can care all she wants, but that doesn't mean I need her putting in her two cents all the time. I'm a big girl."
"Well how are you going to get her to go? She seems pretty determined to me," Nathan said.
Shrugging, Haley placed both of her hands on her hips. "I'll just tell her that I'll stop by within the next few days."
"And will you?" Nathan asked.
Haley rolled her eyes. "I'll think about it. If not, she'll just come by again anyways. I just want a little time to prepare myself before I talk to her."
Nathan nodded. "Whatever you say then. I will be your excuse for the day." He smirked.
Haley smiled and shook her head, amused. Then she placed her hands on his shoulders and pecked his lips a few times. "You know that hanging out with you is anything but an excuse," she said quietly.
Nathan smiled at her words. "Good to know," he answered.
Once again, Nathan followed her out to the living room and stood next to her.
"Mom, do you think it's at all possible for us to reschedule this little impromptu visit?" Haley suggested sweetly, smiling at her mother now.
Lydia knew what her daughter was up to. She sighed and shook her head. "Sweetie, you're going to have to talk to me at some point. I know you don't want to, but I think that's what's best for you, and-"
"I know," Haley interrupted her. "I know it is, Mom. I want to talk to you, too. Nathan and I just kind of had plans today."
"Oh. Oh, I'm sorry," Lydia apologized.
Haley smiled at her mother. "It's really okay. How about I come by the house and have dinner with you and Daddy tomorrow night?" Haley offered.
Lydia's face immediately brightened. "Oh, we would both love that!" she exclaimed. She grabbed Haley and hugged her again, closing her eyes.
"Alright, Mom," Haley muttered, hugging her back but only slightly. "Mom, I can't breathe."
Laughing, Lydia pulled away and smiled at her daughter. "I'm sorry, baby. You know how I love hugging my babies. But I guess I'll get out of your hair. I'll see you tomorrow night then?" she asked, making her way towards the door.
"Tomorrow night," Haley confirmed with a nod.
"Okay," Lydia said with another smile. "I love you, baby girl."
Haley smiled back. "I love you, too, Mom."
Lydia left, shutting the door behind her.
"Hales, you better have dinner with your parents tomorrow," Nathan said once she was gone.
Haley sighed and nodded. "I will. I do miss them. They just pry a lot, you know?"
"I understand," Nathan replied. "But you know it's because they love you." He wrapped his arms around her waist.
Snaking her arms around his neck, Haley nodded again. "I do know that. Thank you for doing this." She leaned up on her toes and planted a kiss on his lips.
Nathan smiled. "Anything for you, Haley James." He winked at her. "Now where were we?" He leaned down and kissed her hard on the lips.
Haley returned the gesture just as passionately, pushing her tongue between his lips.
Lifting her up, Nathan groaned when she wrapped her legs around his waist. He walked forward, pushing her back against the apartment wall. Pulling his lips away from hers, he looked into her eyes. "You're so beautiful, Haley. You know that?"
Haley couldn't help but smile at his words. She traced his lips with one hand and then kissed him again.
Nathan returned the kiss but only briefly before pulling away, staring at her again. "I'm serious."
"I know you are," she responded softly. "And that means so much to me." She held his gaze for several seconds before placing a few sloppy kisses on his jaw. "Now do things to me," she said playfully.
Nathan smirked and let out a loud laugh before covering her lips with his.
"Haley James, if you do not open up this door right this very minute I am going to bust it down!"
Haley furrowed her brow and stood up from the couch. She hadn't even heard a knock before the shouting, but she definitely recognized the voice. Throwing the door open, Haley watched Brooke push past her into the apartment. "Come on in," she muttered sardonically, closing the door behind her.
"Do not get all sarcastic with me, Haley James," Brooke replied. "What the hell is up with you?"
"What do you mean?" Haley asked, walking back over to the couch. She sat down and picked up her pen. "I was just grading some papers."
Brooke sighed. "You know what I mean. I've been trying to call you and hang out with you for like weeks now, and you always say you're busy."
"And so I am," Haley muttered, holding her pen up as she stared at the paper in front of her. "I'm grading papers."
Brooke walked over to her and grabbed the pen from her hand. "We need to talk."
Haley looked up at her friend and nodded. "Yeah, I think we do. What would you like to talk about, Brooke?"
"Oh, I don't know, Haley. How about-"
"How about the fact that you're cheating on Chase?" Haley interrupted her loudly, standing up from the couch and putting her face right in Brooke's. She really didn't want to accuse Brooke of anything, and she had been searching for a tactful way to bring up the subject, but what the hell? If Brooke was going to throw herself into her apartment and start shouting at her, she didn't care. She deserved to be accused.
Brooke took a step back and stared at her friend in amazement. Honestly, she had been waiting for this moment since the night that Haley's boy toy had called her Brooke Daniels. She knew he was just doing her a favor, and as much as she appreciated it she also knew that he would probably tell Haley about it eventually. But right now, Brooke was going to do her best to cover her ass. Maybe Haley didn't know anything, and she was just trying to mess with her head. Brooke crossed her arms over her chest and rolled her eyes unconvincingly. "What the hell are you talking about?"
Haley scoffed. "You know damn well what I'm talking about, Brooke, and I am so incredibly disappointed in you. Not only that you would stoop so low as to cheat on Chase, but that you would do that after what happened with me and Damien."
"Haley, this-"
"And don't you dare say that I'm making this about me when it isn't," Haley interrupted her. "I know that this is going to hurt Chase more than anyone, but if you thought that you could do something like this and not simultaneously throw a knife in my back, you were wrong. I can't believe you," she said as her eyes filled with tears.
Brooke lost all of her resolve when she saw Haley start to cry. She couldn't keep this from her. That would only make it more humiliating in the end. "You're right," she said quietly. "And you are so right to be pissed off at me, but Hales…I never meant for it to happen. I love Chase."
"Bullshit," Haley muttered.
"I do," Brooke insisted. "He's a great guy, and I love spending time with him. But it's just different with Lucas. I don't love Chase in the way that I thought I did."
Haley shook her head and laughed sardonically, simultaneously wiping a few fallen tears from her cheeks. "That's mighty convenient, Brooke. Did you ever think that maybe instead of lying and seeing some other guy behind his back, you should have just gone to Chase? If you would have just broken up with him instead of dragging it out, he'd probably be over you by now. What you're doing to him is cruel, Brooke."
Brooke's eyes filled with tears as she listened to her friend because she knew that her words were all true. "I know," she replied, her voice cracking slightly. "I know, okay? And I know that what I'm doing is selfish, especially when you and I are such good friends. And I'm not making excuses, Hales, but this is not the same situation. Chase and I aren't married. We didn't make that intense of a commitment to one another."
"But you still made a commitment," Haley argued. "No matter how strong it originally was, the meaning is the same, Brooke." She shook her head. "Chase adores you. He would do anything for you. You know that."
"Yes, I do know that," Brooke mumbled with a sigh. "That's what makes this so hard, Haley. If Chase were an ass, I wouldn't even feel bad. But he's amazing. He's such a good man, and he deserves better than me."
Haley shook her head. "Don't say that. He deserves better than what you're doing to him, but you're amazing, Brooke." She wiped her eyes again. "I am mad at you, and I think you need to figure out what you're going to tell Chase, but you're still a good person. You're still my friend."
"Thank you, Hales," Brooke responded sincerely. "I definitely don't want to lose you over this, too."
"You won't," Haley assured her. "Besides, I know I haven't officially met Lucas, but if he's anything like his brother he's probably pretty irresistible. I'm not judging you, Brookie. I need you to know that. I'm just defending Chase, and I'm just sensitive about this stuff, you know?"
Brooke nodded. "I know, and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for everything you went through, and I'm sorry for what I'm putting you through now."
"Don't apologize to me," Haley replied. "Apologize to Chase. And anyways, I've made my fair share of mistakes this past year. Hence, you storming into my apartment acting like a bitch."
Brooke laughed, wiping the remainder of her tears from under her eyes. "Well now I just feel stupid. I just miss you, Tutor Girl."
Haley nodded, biting her lip. "I miss you, too. I'm sorry I've been so defensive when you and Peyton try to talk to me lately." She paused, pushing some hair behind her ear. "Which actually reminds me…have you talked to my mom recently? She, um…she's been calling me nonstop and she actually stopped by this morning. She said some of my friends told her I'm drinking again."
"Don't hate me," Brooke muttered. "It wasn't me that called her though. It was actually, um…Jake and Chase. Peyton and I were kind of talking about how we could help you, and I guess they overheard our conversation and called your mom. They didn't ask us first though. I swear if they had, we would have said no."
Haley shook her head and smiled wryly. "No, it's…not that big of a deal, I guess."
"I mean…Hales, you realize why we're all so worried, right?" Brooke asked carefully.
"Um, yeah…I mean, yeah I do," Haley stuttered, nodding her head. "I know I've been kind of bad lately, but it's getting easier I think. This week has been okay. Actually, um…to be honest, I think what's keeping me sane is having Nathan around all of the time. I didn't really want to admit it at first, and I don't even know if he knows, but he makes me feel special. I mean, he watches out for me and when I need it he just sits with me. I never…I never would have expected that from him."
Brooke raised an eyebrow. "Really? We haven't even really talked about him. I kind of assumed he was the reason for all of the drinking."
Haley looked up and shook her head. "Not at all. I mean, when we first started sleeping together it kind of got bad. I just…God, I sound like a high school girl, but I felt like such a whore. Chris and then Nathan and then Clay…it's all just sex, you know? I haven't been in a relationship with any of them, and I just gave them that part of me. That's not okay."
Brooke watched her friend and looked at her with sympathy. "Well honey, if you don't want to do that anymore why are you still sleeping with Nathan?"
Haley's entire body began to tremble as she prepared to say the words that she had been wanting to say for so long now. "Because it means something now," she said emotionally.
"What do you mean?" Brooke inquired. She took Haley's shoulders and sat her down on the couch, taking a seat next to her.
Haley licked her lips and shrugged. "He makes me feel alive, Brooke. More alive than I've felt in a long time. And at first it was just physical, but I feel like he and I have a connection that goes so far beyond that now. And he just makes me feel good and wanted and safe."
"How?" Brooke prodded.
"With everything that he does," Haley answered. "I mean, he got so jealous of Clay and he gets jealous of Chris, too. And when he would come over and find that I'd been drinking, he would get me to bed and just stay with me until I woke up, just to make sure that I was okay. And the other night I came home, and he was here, and I told him we couldn't do anything because I had work to do and he didn't even try to do anything. We just sat there for hours, me grading papers and him reading, and God it was just so peaceful. Everything that he says and everything that he does makes me want to know him better, and I want him to know me better, but I'm scared. I'm scared that if we even thought about getting into anything real, things would just fall apart like they always do."
Brooke wrapped her arms around her friend's petite body. "Haley, things are not going to fall apart again. Honey, you've had it rough, but your time to shine is coming. And if Nathan really makes you feel all of these things so strongly, you need to let him know you. Let him know why you are the way that you are, Haley. I promise you, you are the most beautiful and kind and loving person that this world has ever seen. There's no way he won't see that. He probably already does. Give yourself a chance."
Haley nodded weakly, stifling a yawn. "I know I should. It's just hard. I didn't think I would ever have to worry about doing this again, you know?" Haley's mind flashed to the picture that she knew was right underneath the couch she and Brooke were sitting on. Part of her wanted to look at that picture, but the other part just wanted to burn it. She wanted it to finally be out of her life forever, but she wasn't sure that was ever going to happen. Not anytime soon anyways.
"I know, sweetie," Brooke responded, resting her head on top of Haley's. "I know."
Nathan checked the time on his phone as he stepped out of the shower. He had just gotten back from a late night workout and wanted to freshen up before heading over to Haley's. She wasn't expecting him, but he hadn't seen her since this morning, and as stupid as it sounded he missed her already. He thought about calling her but figured she was probably asleep. He'd just use the key under the mat in front of her apartment. After drying off, Nathan got dressed and threw some clothes and his toothbrush in a bag before departing.
Once he was in front of her door, he reached under the mat and unlocked the door, placing the key back in its original spot afterwards. He stepped inside, shutting and locking the door behind him. When he looked up, he smirked. Haley was half sitting half laying on the couch with her head on Brooke's shoulder, and Brooke had both of her arms wrapped around the smaller girl with her head resting on top of Haley's. He could tell that Haley wasn't asleep, though, and Brooke certainly wasn't. Her eyes had widened when she'd noticed him. "Hey," he said softly, setting his bag down by the coffee table.
"Hey," Brooke replied, grabbing Haley's attention.
Haley opened her eyes and picked her head up. Once her eyes had adjusted she furrowed her brow. "Hey, Nathan."
Nathan bit his lip and shoved his hands into his pockets, figuring that coming over hadn't been such a good idea. "You know what? I didn't know that you two were having a sleepover. I'll just call you tomorrow, okay, Hales?"
"Oh, no. Don't be silly," Brooke said, standing up from the couch. "We're twenty-five years old. We're not having a sleepover. You should stay." She turned to Haley and sent her a pointed look. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"
Haley nodded and smiled, standing up to hug her friend. "Yeah. I love you, Brookie."
"I love you, too," Brooke replied, hugging her back. "Bye," she said to Nathan as she passed him, patting his shoulder.
"Bye," Nathan called out to her. He turned back to Haley and took a step forward so they were closer, resting his hands on her hips. "I'm sorry if I interrupted something. I figured you'd be asleep by now, and I just wanted to see you."
Haley smiled, wrapping her arms around his torso. "Well I am not asleep, although I am certainly very tired, and you did not interrupt anything. I'm glad you're here." She leaned up and kissed him gently.
Nathan responded to the kiss just as gently and then pulled away smiling. "So what were you two talking about?"
Haley blushed immediately and dropped her arms, heading towards the bedroom. "Nothing."
"Oh, nothing, huh?" Nathan smirked and followed her into the bedroom. "Would that nothing happen to be me, Hales?"
Haley rolled her eyes but laughed at his quirkiness. "It might be."
Nathan continued to smirk at her. He watched her take a seat on the edge of the bed, and he sat next to her. "What were you talking about, Haley?" he questioned quietly.
"Oh, nothing special," Haley brushed off.
Nathan leaned forward and kissed her. "Were you talking about how good of a kisser I am?
Haley laughed. "No, but you sure are full of yourself, aren't you?"
"Were you talking about how good I am at something else?" Nathan hinted, tapping the bed behind him.
Rolling her eyes, Haley laughed loudly and pushed him back on the bed. She climbed on top of him, straddling him, and started kissing his neck.
"Is that a yes?" Nathan asked, placing his hands on her butt and closing his eyes.
Haley stopped and pulled away, raising an eyebrow at him. "Maybe. But you may need to prove it, baby."
Nathan opened his eyes and flipped her over so he was hovering above her. He smirked at her. "I'm about to rock your world, Haley James."
Haley took a deep breath as she pulled her car into her parents' driveway. Just looking at the house she'd grown up in brought back a flood of memories, both good and bad. She sat in the car for several minutes before undoing her seatbelt and opening the door.
She knew why she was so nervous to spend time with her parents. Sure, she didn't want them to worry about her, and she hated the way that they pried into her life when she was a twenty-five-year-old woman living on her own. But it was more than that. Ever since she was a little girl, Haley had been close with her mother. And they had been close up until the very moment Haley lost her grip on life. No matter what, Haley could not lie to her mother about important issues. When the two were in the same room and Lydia asked Haley about something important, staring at her with concerned eyes, Haley could not lie. She had never been able to do it. And she knew that her mother was going to interrogate her tonight, especially after seeing a shirtless Nathan in her apartment the previous morning. Haley knew that a world of judgment awaited her, and that's why she was so nervous.
Shutting the car door, Haley walked as slowly as she possibly could up to the front door and then took another deep breath before ringing the doorbell. Even though she had grown up here, she always knocked or rang the doorbell when she came over. It just felt weird not to anymore, especially since she wasn't very close with her parents anymore. She hadn't been close with them in a long, long time. As she waited for someone to answer the door, Haley checked her phone and saw that she had a message from Nathan.
You'll be fine tonight, baby. Your parents love you, and you love them. But if you need rescuing, I'm here for you.
Haley smiled at the message and slipped her phone back into her purse. She waited a few more seconds before her dad finally opened the door.
Jimmy James swung open the door to the house he and his wife had lived in for the past thirty years. As soon as he saw his baby girl standing on the porch, he wanted to cry. But he didn't. Jimmy had never been an overly emotional man, but when it came to his children he was a total softy. He and Haley had always been especially close since she was the baby of the family. After the accident, though, Haley had just never been the same. She had completely cut everyone off, including Jimmy and Lydia. And Jimmy had missed her every day since then.
"Hey, Daddy," Haley greeted with a small smile. "It's good to see you." She took a step forward and hugged her father, knowing that behind his strong and manly façade he was losing it. Her mother had told her countless times on the phone that her father missed her and wanted to speak with her. She knew she was hurting them both, but she just didn't know what else to do.
Jimmy hugged her back. "It's good to see you, too, baby girl," he said. "I'm so glad that you decided to come have dinner with us."
Haley pulled away from the embrace and walked fully into the house, watching her father close the front door. She nodded at him and crossed her arms over her chest. "Yeah, I'm glad to be here, too," she replied. It was basically true. She was nervous as hell about the questions she knew she was going to receive, and she was scared because she wasn't even sure she knew how to act around them anymore, but she was glad to see them. She had missed them just as much as they had missed her, even if she didn't show it.
Jimmy smiled as he led her into the kitchen. "Your mom's making your favorite."
As they entered the kitchen, Haley smiled. If there was one thing she had always loved about her childhood, it had been this…walking into the kitchen and immediately being able to tell what her mom was cooking for dinner. Lydia had always prepared home cooked meals for her children, and Haley had often helped her in the kitchen. Of course her mother was making macaroni and cheese. Haley used the same recipe, but somehow it always tasted better when her mom made it. She would never understand why. Looking up, she saw her mom taking the finished dish out of the oven. "It smells great, Mom," she complimented.
Lydia's head snapped up when she heard her daughter's voice. She smiled brightly, setting the dish on the stove and throwing her oven mitts onto the counter. She turned and walked to Haley, enveloping her in a large hug. "It's so good to see you, baby."
Haley chuckled slightly, hugging her mother back. "You just saw me yesterday, Mom."
"I know, I know. But it was only for like five minutes," Lydia responded. "Tonight will be better. The macaroni and cheese is ready, but we've got to let it cool."
Smiling, Haley set her purse down on one of the dining room chairs. "I know, Mom. You forget I've made this a thousand times."
Lydia laughed, wiping her hands on her apron. "Yeah, you sure have, huh?" She untied the back of her apron and lifted it over her head, hanging it up on the proper hook. "Why don't you both sit down and I'll get some drinks for us?"
Jimmy and Haley sat down at the table and began a steady stream of small talk while Lydia got their drinks and food ready. Once she was done, she served them and then herself, sitting next to her daughter at the table.
Dinner went pretty smoothly. They talked about all the things that didn't really matter. Haley told them about how many classes she had at THC and how she thought they were going. Her parents asked about Brooke and Peyton, and Haley told them they were doing well. Her mother also asked about Chris, and after a blush and some hesitation, Haley relayed that he too was doing well. Haley silently berated herself after that one, sure that Chris would be a hot topic of conversation after dinner, along with Nathan. The moments when they were eating silently weren't at all awkward, to Haley's surprise. She asked her parents how her siblings' kids were doing. She hadn't seen them in a while and was sure that they had grown up quite a bit since the last time she had. They assured her that they were growing up far too quickly for their liking. Once they were all done eating, Jimmy insisted that he would do the dishes and said that the two women should go talk about girl stuff.
And now Haley was nervous again. Her nerves had almost completely dissipated during dinner, but they were certainly returning now. She followed her mother out to the back porch and sat on the swing that overlooked the backyard. Her mother sat next to her. Haley pulled her legs up underneath her and propped her head up with her hand, resting her elbow on the armrest.
Lydia laughed as she watched her daughter fidget next to her. "You know what's coming, don't you?" she asked, amused.
Haley smiled slightly. "I have a guess."
Sighing, Lydia looked out at the yard. "Honey, you know that we're worried about you. That's nothing new. But what you don't know is that if you would just open up to us or to me or to someone, maybe you'll find that that person understands. Maybe you'll find that you're not alone in all of this, sweetie, because you're not. At least, you don't have to be."
Haley listened to her mother, keeping her gaze fixed on the yard in front of her. She really didn't want to cry tonight, not in front of her mother. Maybe if she focused hard enough, she could hold the tears back.
"You get it from your father, you know," Lydia continued. "This whole wanting to suffer alone crap. I remember when we first got married. His dad, your grandpa, passed away just a few months after the wedding. Never did you see two men who loved each other so much. Your father looked up to him more than anyone in the world. And when he died, your dad just didn't know what to do. He stopped eating, he stopped sleeping. I would wake up in the middle of the night and find him sitting out on the porch, just staring into space. Sometimes he would just sit there and cry. And no matter what I did or said, he didn't want to talk to me about it. He didn't want to talk to anyone about it." Lydia paused, turning to face her daughter. "But eventually, the pain subsided. His heart started to grow stronger, and he started to love life again. I know that you can experience that, too, Haley Bob. I know you can. You're strong enough."
Sitting up straight, Haley focused harder on the grass in front of her. Her mother really wasn't going to make this easy for her, was she?
Lydia sighed. "You're going to have to talk sometime, you know. I'm old. I'm starting to get out of breath," she joked.
Haley laughed. They sat in silence for several minutes before she finally turned to face her mother. "It's not that I want to shut you out," she started quietly. "It's not like I had a choice. It doesn't feel like I did, anyways."
"But you do, sweetheart," Lydia reminded her gently.
Knowing that her mother would know what she was talking about, Haley began, "It just makes me feel better for a while. And I know that sounds so cliché and so…whatever…but it does. I never thought I would be the kind of person who would rely on alcohol to get through the day, and in a lot of ways I'm not that bad. And I don't want to get that bad, but it's just…a reflex now. I don't want it to be, but it is." Haley picked at some imaginary lint on her jeans. "I'm getting better. I really am. It hasn't happened as much as you probably think."
"And this Nathan boy…is he a reflex, too?" Lydia inquired with a small smirk.
Haley rolled her eyes and let out a small chortle. Her mother really wasted no time. Pausing to think, eventually Haley shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know what we are, but…I know that he's good. I know that when I wake up next to him, I don't want to drink. I just want to be better."
Lydia smiled. "And how did you two meet?"
Biting her lip hard, Haley turned to face the yard again. "We, um…" She let out a short, sardonic laugh. "He's in my class."
"Oh, my goodness," Lydia exclaimed, her eyes widening. "Haley, are you kidding me?"
"Yet another reason why you should be proud of me," Haley muttered sarcastically. She shook her head. "It's really not as bad as it sounds. I mean, from a professional standpoint it is. But it's not like he's a regular student. He's twenty-six, and he owns his own business. He's just finishing up his degree so that it can be official."
Lydia sighed loudly. "Still, Haley…that's-"
"Fucked up," Haley finished for her.
Lydia's eyes widened again. "Haley," she scolded.
Haley shrugged. "What? It is. Everything I've done this past year has been."
"Like what?" Lydia inquired.
Haley was really starting to get upset with herself now. She smiled wryly and stood up from the swing, pacing the porch in front of her mother. "Let's see…well, at the beginning of this year I had only slept with one man, and that was my husband. But I decided that wasn't enough, apparently, and asked Chris to sleep with me. So he did. And then we did…for several months. Hmm…then I slept with Nathan, my student for Christ's sake, and then…God, it's just the cherry on top of the perfect year…I slept with Clay, who I knew for approximately four hours beforehand." She stopped pacing and crossed her arms over her chest. She shook her head again and scoffed. "It's ridiculous. The more I do to try and make myself feel better, the worse it gets. And the only time I don't think about what happened, the only time it doesn't hurt like hell is when…" She paused and looked up, as if coming to some insane realization. "When I'm with Nathan."
Lydia stood up, staring at her daughter in shock. "Haley Bob, I don't-"
"I have to go," Haley cut her off, turning and stepping back inside. She grabbed her purse off of the dining room chair and walked quickly toward the front door, muttering a goodbye to her father. She couldn't be there anymore. She couldn't talk about her life with her mom anymore. It made her feel like crap, and it made her realize that she should feel like crap. She didn't deserve to have so many people looking out for her. Brooke. Chris. Peyton. Jake. Chase. Her mom. Her dad. Nathan. They were all there for her all the time, and all she did was ignore them. She was an awful person.
And even though she believed these things with all of her heart, what she truly wanted was to feel better. She wanted Nathan. She wanted him to tell her that he was there for her and that everything would be okay. And then she wanted those things to be true.
Backing out of the driveway and starting towards her apartment, Haley grabbed her phone from inside her purse and composed a text to Nathan.
I'm on my way back to my place. Will you come over? I really need to see you.
Tossing her phone into the passenger seat, Haley gripped the steering wheel hard and finally allowed the backed up tears to fall freely down her face.
When she got to her apartment, she saw Nathan's car and practically sprinted up to her door, throwing it open and shutting it behind her. She tossed her purse and keys on the coffee table and sniffed loudly. "Nathan!" she called as she walked through the apartment. She looked in the kitchen and then made her way to the bedroom, stopping in the doorway when she saw what had been done in the room. There were flower petals all over the floor and the bed, and candles were lit all over the large room. The lights had been dimmed, and Nathan was sitting on the edge of the bed in black dress pants and a white V-neck t-shirt.
Nathan stood up when he saw Haley, slowly walking over to her. He took in her appearance, noticing that her eyes were all red and puffy and her mascara was slightly smudged. "Are you okay?" he asked quietly, his eyes full of concern.
Haley nodded, looking up at him. She closed the small gap between them and placed her hands on his chest. "I'm fine," she said softly. "I just…I just needed to see you." She looked behind him. "What is all of this?"
Nathan's heart began beating faster, and he placed his hands over hers on his chest. "Look, I know…I know that this thing between us is just…supposed to be sex. I know that's what you said and what I agreed to, but Haley…it's not."
Haley kept her eyes on his, moving her hands to rest behind his neck.
"It's not," Nathan repeated, wrapping his arms around her waist. "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever met, Haley, inside and out. I want to know you. I want to be the person that you tell everything to and that you can trust with all of your heart." He moved one hand to her face and touched her cheek softly. "This isn't just sex, Hales, not for me. And if it is for you, I guess I'll deal with that, but I really don't think-"
Haley cut him off, leaning up on her toes and pressing her lips against his in the softest of kisses. It seemed to last forever, and when she finally pulled away Haley looked into his eyes and whispered, "It's not."
Nathan couldn't help but smile at her. "It's not?" he questioned.
"No," Haley replied. "I…Nathan, you make me feel things that I've never felt before. When I'm with you, I just…God, there is no place I'd rather be." She leaned up and kissed him again, this time a bit harder. When she pulled away, she shook her head and smiled at him. "Nathan, I want you. All of you."
Nathan swooped his head down and kissed her again, not being able to help himself. What he was hearing was quite possibly the most beautiful thing he'd ever heard before.
Haley kissed him back, only gently, and then pulled her head away from his. "Make love to me?" she whispered. She felt more vulnerable than she had ever felt in her entire life, but she also felt completely safe. She knew that Nathan was there for her, and she knew that she could trust him.
Closing his eyes briefly, Nathan grunted and picked her up off of the ground. He carried her to the bed and laid her down, covering her body with his. As he stared down at her, he lifted his shirt over his head. He leaned back over her and began peppering kisses all over her jaw and neck. "God, Haley…you have no idea how long I've been waiting for this moment," he whispered. He kissed her neck again and then sucked softly on the spot that he knew drove her crazy.
Haley arched her back into him slightly, moaning at the feeling of his mouth on her skin. She grinded her hips into his and ran her hands up and down his muscular back.
Nathan pulled himself away from her after several seconds and pulled her shirt over her head. He stared at her for only a few seconds before unhooking her bra and tossing that behind him as well. He bent his head down and began to lavish her breasts with attention.
Moaning louder this time, Haley threw her head back against the pillow. "Oh, Nathan," she muttered. "That feels so good." Her hands moved to his stomach and began stroking his abs, eventually moving closer to his pants. She undid his belt buckle and undid the button and zipper, pushing the material away from his hips as far as she could.
Nathan pushed himself off of her for a moment so he could kick the pants off. As he lay back on top of her, he brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and looked into her eyes. He kissed her slowly, just enjoying the feeling of her lips on his, and pushed his hips into hers.
Haley moaned loudly at the contact and was forced to break their kiss. She thrust her hips into his in anticipation and raked her nails down his back. She pulled his head down to hers and kissed him once more, still rubbing herself against his erection. "You're so hard," she moaned into his ear as she moved against him.
Nathan groaned at her words and closed his eyes momentarily. Once he had finally regained some composure, he laid a soft kiss between her breasts and began a pattern all the way down her stomach. He kissed until he reached the edge of her jeans, and then he undid the button and zipper, removing them from her body one leg at a time. Sitting back on his knees, he hooked his thumbs in her panties and pulled them down her legs as well. He placed a few wet kisses on her calves and thighs before finally returning to her lips.
Feeling severely underdressed, Haley pushed her hands into his boxers and slid them down to his knees. She watched him kick them off of the bed, sending him a gentle smile when he once again hovered over her.
Nathan placed himself right outside of her entrance and closed his eyes. "Haley, I…I need you to know how much you mean to me," he whispered. He opened his eyes and placed both of her arms out beside her head, covering her small hands with his much larger ones. He intertwined their fingers and then slowly pushed himself inside of her. "You mean everything."
Haley cried out when he entered her, squeezing his hands that were attached to hers.
Leaning down, Nathan kissed her feverishly, pushing his tongue into her mouth.
Haley kissed him back as passionately as she could, and when he pulled away, she looked at him intensely. "You're all that I have, Nathan," she whispered. "And all that I want."
"Hales," Nathan muttered. He rubbed his nose against hers cutely and then kissed her again, slowly withdrawing himself from her and then pushing back in.
Haley began to meet his thrusts, and as their lips and hands stayed locked Haley knew that she had never felt so connected to one person in her life. Not even her husband. This feeling in her heart was so new, and she wanted it to last forever. She moved her head to the side as Nathan sucked on her neck. "This feel so good," she moaned as he entered her again, this time a bit harder.
Nathan grunted as he picked up their pace a bit. "I know, baby," he responded a few seconds later. He placed a lingering kiss on her collarbone and squeezed her hands. "You're so fucking beautiful, Hales."
Haley moaned loudly as he hit a new spot inside of her, and her back arched into him. "Oh, Nathan…oh God…"
Nathan kissed her a few seconds later, silencing her moans, but he began thrusting into her even harder now. He pulled his lips away from hers after only a few seconds because he loved hearing her. He wanted her to feel good. As he tried to keep himself under control, he closed his eyes tight. "Fuck, Haley…I'm not going to last much longer, baby."
"I know," Haley panted, thrusting her hips up towards his at every stroke. "I'm almost…I'm almost there." A minute later Haley's back arched, and her eyes closed tight as she came. "Nathan!" she cried, almost right next to his ear. She repeated his name several times, knowing that it would spur his own orgasm.
Nathan came just seconds after Haley, stilling his movements as he spilled himself into her. He squeezed her hands tightly as he came, groaning Haley's name into her shoulder. He rested his full weight on top of her and lay there panting for several minutes.
Haley breathed heavily from their encounter and reveled in the feeling of having Nathan's weight on top of her. She had never felt safer.
"Fuck," Nathan groaned, placing a few kisses on her sweaty shoulder. "You're so good."
Haley laughed, untangling her hands from his. She placed one on the back of his head and the other on his back. "Someone's tired," she teased.
Nathan laughed, lifting himself off of her so he could look at her. He watched her yawn and smirked.
"Oh, be quiet," Haley muttered with another laugh, smacking his cheek playfully.
Nathan smiled, kissing her briefly and then pulling away. He finally pulled out of her and rolled himself to the side so he was only half on top of her. He propped his head up with his elbow and traced patterns on her stomach with his free hand. "You are on birth control, right?" he asked suddenly.
Haley looked at him and played dumb. "Birth control?"
"Yeah," Nathan said. "Like, the pill? You're on it, right?"
She furrowed her brow. "Why would I be on it?"
Nathan sat up quickly and looked at her sharply. "Are you serious?"
Haley rolled her eyes. "It's a hell of a time to ask that question, Nathan."
"You're fucking with me, right?" he mumbled.
Haley smiled and rolled her eyes again. "Of course I'm on birth control, Nathan. Hence the whole we have sex all the time and I'm not pregnant." She paused. "Why are you asking me this now?"
"I don't know," he responded. "I was just making sure."
Haley raised an eyebrow at him and then shook her head. "You're so weird."
"And you like it," Nathan countered, smirking at her.
She smiled and shrugged. "You're okay." When he scowled at her, she winked at him.
Nathan laughed, placing his hand flat on her stomach now. "How was dinner with your parents?"
"It was alright," Haley responded with a small nod.
"Just alright?"
She nodded again. "Yeah, it was fine. We actually didn't talk for too long. It just…kind of made me realize where I want to be." She looked at him and smiled softly.
Nathan stared at her. "And where is that?"
"Right here," Haley replied without hesitation. "With you."
