Chapter 8: Secrets
"Thank you Eric," I said as he wiped the small cut on my cheek. "Thank you so much for everything. For holding my hand and telling me that things are going to be okay," I listed, "for just being there."
"I can still be there Ana," the rag disappeared and was replaced with his rough fingers. "If you'd just stop pushing me away, I want to always be there for you." He kept his hand on my cheek until the guard walked back into his apartment.
Perhaps that was too far ahead for you. A few hours ago I had showed up at Eric's job under the pretense that I had brought lunch for my cousin and his two co-workers. Eric and I had agreed to meet up after I was done with my classes. We'd have dinner together and really hash things out. A couple hours ago I had just finished my exam.
"You sure you don't want me to wait with you," Hec asked.
"No," I shook my head. "Eric is supposed to come by at eight thirty one." Both of us shared a small laugh before Hec gave me a quick hug and ended up leaving me to wait by myself.
It was currently eight fifteen. I had finished the exam early and Hec attributed it to the fact that I had been in a super good mood since he picked me up to head to school. I did tell Eric that I would be done at eight thirty. I hadn't thought anything about waiting a couple minutes. And true to Hec's earlier assumption, I was excited to see Eric tonight. I had been sitting there for a couple minutes when my phone lit up. I couldn't help but light up as well.
"Hey. I'm sorry if I'm running late," Eric said in a voice that I could tell he was moving about or walking. "I decided to order pizza and wings.
I smiled and was about to respond until someone called my name. I looked up thinking it was Hec but the smile dropped from my face and was replaced with a frown. I didn't recognize the man in front of me. And yes, he was right in front of me.
"Hi," I said softly wondering if he was a customer from the bank or from the Chasm. It had happened several times before that I would run into customers who would tell me 'hello' or ask me questions about their account while I was at the store. Although this time that was not the case.
"Come with me," he ordered as he dropped his hand from his jacket and held out a knife. My mouth opened to scream but he took a hold of me so quickly and pressed the knife to my face, causing me to drop my phone. "Don't scream. Don't make a sound or I'll cut up that pretty little face."
I thanked my lucky stars that when the phone dropped, Eric was still listening in on the line. I was roughly picked up and practically dragged around the corner where the same van that Mr. Marcus tried to take me to was located. It finally dawned on me that the two guys who were with him had come back for me. I struggled, clawed and scratched at the guy. He only told me not to scream. He didn't say anything about fighting back.
"Bitch," he muttered as he slapped me when I landed a kick to hit gut.
"Hurry it up," the driver told him.
"Get out here and help me," the other man snarled.
I had prolonged him long enough for me to see Eric's car along with not just one but three SUVs appear on the side of the van.
Men and women came out of the SUVs and began shouting at the man who was trying to take me along with the one who was in the driver seat of the van. The second I was released another pair of arms took me. I wrapped my arms around Eric's neck as he held me close to him. Several men were asking him something but I didn't hear his response or take notice of what was happening. I was just glad that I was on the phone with him when it had happened.
"The police are on their way, they heard the commotion," one man told Eric.
"I got it under control. Just get rid of those two," Eric ordered and I turned my head to look up at him. "It'll be okay," he said and I believed him.
The police officers came as predicted. But upon their arrival, the only ones left were me and Eric. Eric stated that neither he nor I would say anything until he was able to speak to Captain Pedrad. I knew that name sounded familiar but I didn't think that title went with it. I was surprised when several minutes later an unmarked police car came by and out of the driver seat was none other than my boss Hanna from the Chasm. I stared at her but she didn't look my way.
"Coulter," she nodded to him.
"Captain or should I say Director," he said with his arms still keeping a tight grip on me.
"Are you causing my officers trouble?"
"Marcus's men were here."
She looked back at the officers and then motioned for Eric to talk to her in private. I was moved with him to stand a few feet away and then Eric began to explain.
"He's been following her, stalking her. I didn't want the faction to get involved but then it seemed like you weren't doing anything," he accused her.
"We have tried to keep an eye on him. You know that's why I took that job at the Chasm. It was his regular spot. My intent is to keep Dauntless safe. Whatever quarrel you and your family has with his needs to end."
"He attacked this young woman."
"Yes Miss Summers," she nodded to me and then went back to speaking to Eric. "I noticed that he had his eye on her. He only stepped up his behavior after you started to show interest in her."
"Are you saying that I put her in danger? I've tried to stay clear from whatever disagreements have been happening. Marcus's son and I worked up a truce. We're not..."
"I know that you two have been staying clear. Don't you think that I've had agents on the two of you also?" Her sentence made me frightened but I decided not to say anything as of yet. "Whether you like or not, you are right back in the middle of things. I don't like Marcus any more than you do. You know I want him locked up. But I also want your Aunt which is something you won't do for me is it?"
"No it's not," he gritted his teeth.
"Apparently that meeting with the Carmichaels was not as legitimate as you informed me it would be. I could take you away for that one but I won't because there are bigger fish to fry. I'll have a few officers escort you and Miss Summers home. I suggest you tell her what she has found herself in the middle of. I won't interfere between either of your rivalries but this young woman is innocent and I will protect her."
"I can handle it."
"Like you did tonight," she questioned.
I had never seen her this hard before and I wondered if Lauren knew that our boss at the Chasm was an undercover police officer. And not just any officer but she seemed to be the director or captain or someone in charge. And obviously she wanted Mr. Marcus and something Eric's Aunt and how they were in some sort of rivalry. But Eric was clean, I thought. Or at least he was trying to be.
"Miss Summers," Hanna turned to me. "I'll have one of the police officers take your statement. You can either come back to the station or fill out the form now and go with Mr. Coulter. Your choice."
"Everything is clear outside," the guard told Eric as he removed his hand from my cheek.
He stood up and talked to the guard as I glanced back around at his apartment. It was nothing like mine. It was more like a suite. It made me feel inadequate to be in this place. And for the first time since I told Deputy Director Pedrad aka my boss Hanna that I would go with Eric, I felt like I didn't belong.
"Jeanine will want a call," the guard continued.
"I'll talk to her in the morning," Eric said before the apartment filled with silence.
It wasn't long until I found my hands warmly encased in Eric's and his eyes staring into mine. The guard was gone and it was only the two of us left now.
"Are you okay?"
I nodded.
"Besides the cut," he touched my cheek.
"I'm fine," I answered softly.
"I'm sorry I got there so late. I should have..."
I shook my head and looked down. "I told you that I would finish at eight thirty. I finished earlier and my friend did offer to wait for me but," I stopped and let out a sigh. "I told him there was no need to wait."
"It's not your fault either."
"Was it you?"
"Was it me," he lifted an eyebrow at me.
"That had called the police the first time that Mr. Marcus and those two goons tried to take me," I asked.
"Whatever happened to anonymity," Eric smiled softly.
"They had told me that it was an anonymous person that time and I didn't question it," I smiled and looked back down. "But I should have known that your office was right there. I had been at your office once before. You had told me that you'd seen me there and that a couple times it looked as though he wanted to follow me on the bus. You sent a guard out there once to stop him. I think that time there was no guard."
"And you concluded that it was me who called the police," he was still smiling when I looked up.
"It must have been. So, was it you," I asked again.
"I don't want you to tell you because I'm afraid that it'll work to my advantage and I don't want you to like me just because I saved you."
"I like you for other reasons," was my soft reply before Eric placed his hand on the back of my neck and pulled my face closer to his.
"Do you mean that?"
"Yes. I'm just scared of how happy I'm getting and I keep waiting for all of this..."
"Ana," he said firmly. "Just because you were disappointed in your past doesn't mean that you keep expecting something bad to happen in the future. If that's all that you see Ana, then look beyond that. Look past the future that you envision. Somewhere behind all the clouds, the sun is shining and..."
"What did you just say?"
"That even though all you may see is a cloudy sky, the sun is shining past that," he repeated.
"My Dad tells me that," I smiled.
"Well your dad is a brilliant man," Eric complimented. "I can tell because my father always used to say that. He always taught me values to live by. He had things little sayings prepared and at the time, they would make everything better."
"My dad is like that too."
Eric nodded and took a step back, regarding me for a moment before opening his mouth. "You must have questions about what happened earlier."
I nodded.
"Did you need some time or..."
"I had heard that Mr. Marcus was involved in organized crime."
"Something that the authorities cannot prove," he responded.
"He is in a rivalry with your family meaning that either your family is also in organized crime or you are part of the law to take him down."
Eric's head tilted to the side. "Is there a question there?"
"Are you involved in some kind of criminal activity that I should be aware of?"
Another minute or so of silence fell between the two of us. Eric and I just stared at one another. I couldn't tell whether or not he wanted to tell me. At the same time, I was wondering if I really wanted to know. Would it change what was happening between us?
"At the moment, no," Eric answered.
I nodded again before stepping closer to Eric. "Can that be enough talk for tonight? I'm too exhausted from everything."
"So you two didn't really talk then," asked Edward who got a pointed look from Myra when we went to the movies the next night.
"You didn't let her finish telling her story," Myra threw popcorn at him.
"What makes you think there's more to the story," I questioned.
"Yeah," Edward threw some popcorn back at her.
"Because there is," Myra insisted. "So, share," she waved her hand at me.
"You can sleep in here," Eric turned on the lights of the guest room. "I don't feel comfortable taking you back home tonight to be all alone in your apartment. I want you to be with someone but knowing you, you don't want to call your cousin or any of your friends at this late hour. Am I right?" I let out a small laugh and nodded. In reality that was true. I didn't want to keep bothering Dillon or Peter. I hated always depending on them. Eric must have picked up on that. "In that case, you can sleep here. Tomorrow I'll take you work."
"Thank you Eric," I said as he nodded and then moved to let me enter the room further. "Where is..."
"My room is up the stairs on the other side of the dining room," he nodded towards the hallway. "There's another bedroom down the hall if this doesn't suit you." I glanced around the bedroom and so did he. "I understand the colors are really dark but I don't usually have guests here so..."
"It's fine."
"While the other bedroom has a bath, this room is connected to the intercom," he pointed to a small white box on the wall. "If you need anything, you can call me that way. There are five in the apartment. One in the main bathroom, one in the dining room, one in balcony upstairs, one in this room and in my room," he explained. "So even if I'm up on the balcony you can still reach me."
I wanted to ask if I could see his balcony but the bed looked inviting. Eric explained that he could have someone come over with clothes for me if I wanted but I declined and instead asked if we could leave a few minutes earlier so that I could change at home.
That night I left my tank on and took off my jeans to sleep. As comfortable and soft as the bedding was, I couldn't relax. My mind was still reeling with what had happened. I thought about a million 'what if's' and the outcomes haunted me. We were so high up that there was no passing car or yelling pedestrians like there constantly would be at my apartment. There were no sounds of running water from the faucets of my neighbors or the patter of little feet from the family who lived above me. There was no sound of a heater turning on or off throughout the night.
It was peaceful and yet it bothered me. The pillow was firm and yet I couldn't close my eyes. The comforter was soft and yet I was irritated. The bed was warm and yet I still felt cold and alone. After what felt like hours of tossing and turning I threw the covers back and left the room. I walked down the hallway, past the living room and down into the dining room. Sure enough there was a staircase there that I traveled up on. The first room I past was the bedroom where I assumed Eric slept. But he was not there. The second door was surprisingly some sort of personal gym with no Eric inside either.
A light shined under the third and final door that was up here. I knocked lightly on the wall next to it when I saw that the door was slightly ajar. With permission to enter from Eric, I pushed it slowly and walked in to see him sitting at a huge desk with just pajama pants on. He had glasses on and was typing away at his computer.
"Couldn't sleep," he asked.
"No," I answered causing him to turn to me. His eyes glanced down and lingered for a moment on my legs. It was then that I remembered I only had a tank and my pantie on at the moment. Eric was seeing a whole lot. "Sorry, I didn't have anything to... I didn't want to sleep in my jeans."
"You don't have to explain that to me," he said as his eyes went back to my face. He took off his glasses and set them down on the desk. "What I want to know is if you're okay about earlier this evening. Do you still feel unsafe or..."
"To be honest, for some odd reason I don't feel scared being here with you. Maybe somewhere deep inside my mind there are the aftershocks of the attack waiting to jump out but I just feel anxious I guess about what would have happened had you not got there. The fear of the attempted kidnap is gone but I'm just worried about..."
"Worried about all the scenarios that might have happened, I get it," he nodded to me. "I was worried that you might not be comfortable. Although I want you here because I know you'll be safe, your needs come first. So if you didn't want to be here..."
"I feel okay being here," I stopped him.
"Alright," he gave me a small smile. "I have a few things I want to finish. Give me a couple minutes and then I'll make you something to help you sleep."
"Okay."
"You can sit here," he stood up and I had to fight the urge to do the same to him.
Unfortunately I did. He was shirtless after all. The last person I had seen like that, other than my cousins, was Cain. And though Eric had some hair on his chest, you could still see the sculpted figure of defined muscle as he walked over to clear some things off a nearby couch for me. I could see more of his arms than what was afforded me when I would see him in his button-downs that he used to work. There was a tattoo on his forearm and another around his bicep. And what beautiful forearms and biceps they were. His shoulders looked strong and his arms were magnificent. They were the type of arms that were built for picking up women and carrying them to bed. And for a brief moment I wanted to be carried to bed by him.
"Sorry, I don't like to sleep in my shirt." I looked up to see him smirking at me. He had just caught me staring at him too. I smiled and looked away to hide the blush before sitting down.
As Eric went back to his desk, I couldn't help but glance back at him. I watched him as he worked, reading over papers and then filing them away or typing information into spreadsheets from the papers that he had.
"I can hear you thinking from here," Eric continued typing. "What's on your mind?"
"How old are you?"
Eric turned to me and smiled. "All the things in the world you could have asked and you wondered about my age?" I nodded. "Okay then, I am twenty nine years old. Considering that you spoke about finishing your last year in College, I'm assuming you are either twenty two or twenty three."
"I'm twenty three."
It made me realize two things about this situation. Eric Coulter is all man. He is a strong, confident, successful and attractive man. Of course the thought of him having a past was still somewhere in my mind but I couldn't help but think that there were all these other things about him that outweighed whatever past he had. And somehow despite all his good qualities he was still interested in someone that was weak, frightened and broken like me. That was the second thing I came to realize. There was not much that I had to keep a man like Eric. He was older and I felt like a child.
"You're overthinking again," Eric noticed.
"It's what I do, I guess," I shrugged. "I over analyze everything and read too much into small things."
"Are you thinking about me and you or about what just happened?"
"Right now, me and you," I answered.
"Your ex or whoever hurt you made you cautious about other men, made you second guess yourself. I understand that Ana. But I want a new slate for the two of us. I don't want us to bring whatever happened in our past to whatever future you and I might have."
"I can try."
"Do or do not," he said slowly. "There is no try."
"Did you just try and use a Jedi trick on me," I asked as Eric began to smile.
"I'm surprised you know Star Wars."
I shrugged. "My friend Hec is hell bent on me knowing all of that kind of stuff."
"Well, I got the movies too. If you want to watch them, then you can. As long as you are comfortable here I am okay with that. You need your rest and," he let out a deep sigh, "you need to stop overthinking. I think that is adding to the stress that you have. So we'll minus your anxiety over me and you because like I said we're starting over," he smiled.
"I just don't want you to get disappointed with me."
"You have to stop making decisions for me," Eric interrupted. "The last time I checked I'm an adult and can take care of myself."
"What if..."
"And stop worrying about the worst case scenarios of flying in a plane when you haven't even purchased your ticket yet. Take this plunge with me Ana. I know that there might be some turbulence on the way but I have confidence that once we get there, everything will be great."
"So did you sleep with him," asked Edward.
"Really," Myra hit him playfully.
"What? I'm trying to decipher past all that girly crap to find out all the naughty details. I mean, ow," he said as Myra hit him harder.
"I'll ignore all the girly nonsense and tell you that I didn't sleep with Eric last night. He made me a cup of warm milk after that and we talked some more before..."
"So no getting down and dirty?"
"You're hopeless," Myra scolded him. "They talked," she motioned to me. "That's a huge step, to talk things out. And you two did talk things out right?"
"Not everything," I shook my head. "But we did agree that I wouldn't run from the possibility of us becoming something more. He is going to be honest with me about him and his feelings, he has been honest since the beginning," I corrected, "and he'll continue to be so. I just need to stop hiding."
Last night I did tell Eric that my ex who had been my first and only boyfriend had cheated on me throughout our entire relationship. I had never once expected something like that of him because he would always seem so trusting. I didn't go into detail about what had happened but kept it brief and to the point. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I should have told Eric that I was engaged but I didn't. Especially not after what Eric explained to me.
Eric had told me that Marcus Eaton, known to me as Mr. Marcus, was deep in human and weapon trafficking. Eric's Aunt was well known in the weapon and drug trafficking circle. There was a deal that had gone sour between the two, or so the story goes. And that story only worsened over time. He never found out the truth because all his Aunt says is according to him 'a load of crap'. Eric's father kept him away from that as best he could and tried to give his family something different. A truce was made between Eric and Marcus's son after something big that had happened. They decided that it was between Marcus and his Aunt. And they wouldn't get involved.
"Remember when I said that I have more demons in my past than the Devil himself?" I nodded at Eric's question. "Those are my demons, not all but some. And I am not going to let that stop me from having a happy life now and in the future. I saw that when I first saw you. I saw the potential for a happy life, Ana."
"Potential," I repeated. "That word is filled with such hope."
"Well," he cupped my cheek with his hand and rest his forehead against mine, "you give me hope."
"We're waiting with you," Myra said as we exited the theater.
"We're what," Edward looked confused.
"Eric is picking her up."
Edward looked at me, back at Myra and then finally towards me. "So you two are like a thing now?"
"We didn't label anything but we're going to see where things lead and hopefully," I smiled thinking about Eric, "hopefully when we get there, everything will be great."
"I'm happy for you." Myra gave me a hug and then turned to Edward. "We're happy for her, right," she gave him a stern look.
"I am. It's just that," Edward paused and then looked back at Myra. "Can I speak to Ana alone for just a minute?" Myra nodded; looking a bit skeptical but took a few steps back after Edward kissed her cheek and thanked her.
"What's going on?"
"So he told you about who his family is?" I nodded. "About what his Aunt does," he clarified.
"The general gist of it, yes," I answered. "How do you know about it?"
"My parents were deep in that type of life. My mother was his Aunt's most trusted confidant. Eric's father helped me not to get involved. Because of things like that, people like Eric, people like me," he looked at Myra, "we usually don't get second chances. We usually don't have relationships. I know there are probably still some secrets that lurk in the shadows on both his life and yours but whatever happens remember what you just said about hoping that when you get there, everything will be great. Don't doubt him or..."
"Are you implying that I might hurt him?"
"You already did when you pushed him away, believe me," Edward glanced at Myra and then back at me. "But you said that you two are starting a clean slate and I hope that you don't judge him based on what happened in his past or what happened in your past. I think this is both time for you two to grow."
Eric came by a couple minutes after to pick me up. We agreed to try as much as possible to see each other at least once a day, for lunch or dinner. It was just to talk more and know each other better. The following week it turned into random dates. Instead of dinner, we would go to the movies. Eric always came straight from work in his button down shirt and slacks. I wanted to tell him if he was tired that we could skip but every time he saw me it was like his face would brighten causing me to light up as well and I dismissed the thought of turning him away.
A couple weeks later he called me at the Chasm and asked if I had something nice to wear. I told him that I did and he picked me up from work and took me home to change. It was the first time he had been in my apartment.
"Sorry," I told him as I picked up a few newspapers that were scattered on the ground.
"You're looking for a new apartment," he picked up one of the papers that I had made circles on.
"I'm looking for a car," I answered. "I guess I should be looking for a new apartment but I can't really afford to move right now and the car seems more practical. I'm only home to sleep anyways and..."
I stopped when I noticed that he was staring at my bedroom door.
"Yeah, it's not the best," I shook my head and went to grab a nice dress that I had. "I would say make yourself at home but," I walked out of the room. "This is basically it," I gestured around the living room/kitchen/dining room.
Eric sat down on the couch that opened to a bed. He looked too big to be on that thing. "This is okay."
"Where are we going," I asked as I walked into the bathroom leaving it cracked open.
"I got tickets to go somewhere and was going to blow it off but then I figured that you might want to go," Eric called over. He smiled when I came out of the bathroom and checked me over twice before I asked him if what I was using was okay. "It's perfect," he took my hand and kissed it before we left my apartment.
"Are you certain that this dress is okay," I asked when we sat in his car. It was slightly tight as I moved my legs and tried to pull the dress down.
"It's more than okay," he looked over at me appreciatively before taking my hand again and kissing it.
Eric and I had been talking and sharing more information about each other over the weeks that passed. Next week was Thanksgiving and he was looking to take me to his mother's house for dinner. I had agreed after much debate with Dillon, Peter, Myra, Edward, and Hec.
"You want to go, you know you do," Edward teased.
"What did your cousin say," asked Myra.
"Oh my God, stop bringing it up," Peter shook his head. "The more you think about it, the more you're going to decide you don't want to go."
"You told him 'yes' right," questioned Dillon with a smile, "Because he has been extra chipper today. I mean he was still a jerk but he didn't crack down on us like he usually does."
"It's just a dinner," Hec replied. "He probably told his mom that he's interested in you and she wants to know who you are. And stop panicking. I see that look on your face. If he did talk to his mother about you, I'm pretty sure it's all good things. Like how much he likes you and thinks about you and..."
So that was basically everyone's response in a nutshell and I did end up telling Eric that it would be okay. In fact this was the dress that I was supposed to use to that night. But now there would be two nights that Eric would be seeing me in this dress and I didn't feel that comfortable about it. Not to mention for some reason it was tighter than it originally was when I first brought it.
"Stop fidgeting, you look great," he rubbed his thumb on the back of my hand and I glanced over at him to see that there was truth in his eyes. His facial expression seemed sincere, as though he did like how I looked.
"You're getting a bit chubby," Cain eyed me out. "You're not pregnant are you?"
"Wow," I shook my head at him. "Thanks a lot," I took off the tank top and went to slip on one of his shirts instead. "I'm just a little bloated because it's that time of the month. So that sort of answers your question about me being pregnant."
"Thank God for that," he let out a long breath of relief.
"Jesus, I didn't think you'd be so upset if I got pregnant," I got into bed next to him.
"I'm not upset. It's just that you're picking up a little weight. It's because I love you that I tell you these things you know. I don't want my girl to look ridiculous in a teeny tiny shirt."
"The shirt wasn't that tiny on me. It..."
Cain let out a snort. "Perhaps JoyAnna you should consider losing a few pounds so you can fit into those clothes again."
"I can still fit into a lot of my clothes. I never was a size small anyways. And I don't think I'm getting fat. It's a healthy size."
"And yet here you are using my shirt," he questioned as though he were disgusted.
"Honestly, if it bothers you that much," I took off his shirt and threw it at him before walking out of the room, grabbing my tank and heading for the couch.
I shook my head when I heard Eric's voice ask me if I was cold. He adjusted the air temperature and then delved into conversation about how he got the tickets for the event we were going to. I couldn't help but glance back down and hear Cain's voice again telling me that I was getting a bit chubby. I turned back and asked Eric small questions to keep him talking. It seemed that was helping to drown out Cain's voice. When we had arrived, I was shocked.
"Is this..."
"Come on," he smiled after shutting off the car and unbuckling his seat belt. He appeared on the other side of the car to open my door, waving the valet off. A cameraman stopped us not even a few feet out of the car to take our picture. "Smile," he tucked me to his side.
I glanced up and ended up smiling at him just as the flash went off. "I've never been to one of these before."
"It gets rather boring. It's why I didn't want to come but then I thought that if I brought you," he handed what I assumed was an invitation to the man at the door. We bypassed several other people who were stopped and taking pictures as well as answering questions. "I knew I'd enjoy myself with you here with me," he whispered causing me to smile again.
Eric had brought me to a charity event that was being hosted by none other than Jack Kang, the third richest man in the United States. I pulled back whenever we met someone new. I told Eric that I felt severely underdressed. But he always brushed it off and said something wonderful and possibly panty-dropping worthy about how gorgeous I always was. He held my arm with his as though I were someone special. Hell, Eric even introduced me as Miss Ana Summers, as if the name had some sort of bearing on it.
I had run into Miss Wu, my former boss who had two of the girls whose names I couldn't recall. They were her assistants, a job that I had wanted. She raised an eyebrow at me and seemed to give me a nod of approval when Eric talked me up as though I were a Princess. Its how I felt, how he made me feel even though I knew that I wasn't dressed the part.
We sat at a table with an actor and his fiancé who was a Victoria's Secret model. Also on the table were two other people who were important in their field. Next to them were their dates. I didn't realize how much power Eric's name held because they seemed to know who he was and had commented on how delightful his 'young date' is. I smiled and thanked them.
Eric danced with me and continued to treat me as though I were important, as if he needed me there to look good in front of all these people. When he asked me to go home with him that night, I did not hesitate. I felt precious and wanted. A night out with him to a charity ball hosted by Jack Kang surpassed any night out with Cain to any of his family's luxurious dinner parties. I felt like I was floating on air. I didn't think that I'd have sex with Eric that night. But I had thought that we'd at least sleep in the same bed together. It shocked me just a bit when he had opened the room downstairs for me for the second time.
"Thank you," I turned around and smiled. "Tonight was beautiful Eric. I had a nice time."
"So did I. If you don't mind I'd like to show you something before you sleep," he asked with a small smile on his face while holding out his hand to me.
He had shown me the balcony on the top of his apartment suite and I couldn't help but gaze out in awe at the City. Dauntless looked so small from where we stood. He had an amazing view of the Dauntless pier and harbor with all its bright lights and on the other end he had a view of the downtown roads with the buildings' lights also dancing in the night.
"This is gorgeous. I bet it's just as amazing during the day."
"It is," his voice said behind me. "During the summer months it gets so hot up here after eight in the morning that I just admire it from inside," he nodded towards the glass ceiling to floor windows.
"I'm sure it does," I replied as Eric's hand moved past my face and pointed upwards. I gasped and stared up at the sky. "Look at all those stars," I smiled.
"Sometimes when you're in the City, the street lights drown out the sky. But from up here and on a crisp night like this, it does become breathtaking." I felt Eric's hands wrap around my waist and he pulled me close into him. This was one of the very first times that we had this type of intimate contact. "Is this okay Ana," Eric whispered with his breath hot against my neck as I shivered.
It was more than okay I wanted to say but instead I couldn't form the words. My head nodded and I felt Eric gently move his nose on my neck causing me to let out a very girly giggle. His lips smiled before pressing a soft kiss on my shoulder. It was a gentle moment and I took the time to turn around and face him. He kept his arms around my body. I reached up to place my hands on his shoulders.
"Stop overthinking," he told me the minute I opened my mouth. "Stop assuming the worst."
"I wasn't," I answered. "What I was going to say is that I appreciate everything that you've done. I don't think that I've ever felt this happy and cared about."
"You make me feel happy Ana," he mumbled. I was encased in his two arms as his forehead rest against mine.
"You two still haven't kissed," Hec asked.
"No we haven't," I frowned.
"Hey," Hec nudged me. "It's not because he doesn't want to, okay? I know what you're thinking. I go through that sometimes too. That maybe the sex was horrible, maybe I wasn't a good kisser, maybe she didn't enjoy kissing me or maybe she didn't feel anything when I touched her. I felt it though, I felt everything," he shook his head. "But you know what I realized, especially after you and I became close friends," he turned me.
"What," I asked.
"That when your heart isn't in it then nothing else will be. It doesn't matter how great the sex is..."
"No it does," I shook my head. "I know it does because I am..."
"Miss Summers and Mr. Rodriguez do you have something to share with the class," asked the professor.
"No Professor," I replied.
"Sex, kissing, touching," Hec listed the second he knew that we were safe from the professor's eyes, "no matter how good the partner is, it's nothing unless there is a connection. It can't just be on a one way street. It's a whole lot of give and take. It's about someone wanting you for everything you are and everything you are not."
"That's not true. Deep down inside you know that guys want these," I motioned to my boobs, "or even these," I pointed to my butt, "big and luscious."
"And you women don't think about how big this guy down here is," Hec gestured between his legs.
"That's not it," I shook my head.
"That's exactly it, Ana. True there are some general things about someone that you are attracted by and get aroused by. But for things to be desirable, great, passionate," Hec began, "the person has to truly want you, regardless of measurements, wealth or background. My ex liked the idea of me, hell she liked the idea of a lot of guys. But what she thought so much about my flaws that her heart wasn't in it and therefore to her it wasn't great. It didn't mean that something was wrong with me. It's the same thing with you," he turned completely to me.
"Me and Eric," I asked.
"You and your ex," Hec answered. "You were the ideal girl that he would take home to his mother. That's all that you were to him. He liked the idea of you but not you personally."
"Wow Hec, some friend you are," I sassed.
"It's the truth Ana. He tried to change you into something that he wanted. You think that your relationship went badly because something was wrong with you. Nothing is wrong with you Ana. He had no connection to you."
"It sounds like you're talking about love."
"Maybe I am," he shrugged.
"It's too soon to talk about love," I shook my head. "And besides Eric and I sleep in different bedrooms."
"That is him respecting your wishes, respecting you," Hec pointed out. "Stop reading into all the little things as a sign that he doesn't want you and look at the things that he does do in order to make you feel special. The guy has saved you on more than one occasion which means that he cares about your safety and your health. He keeps pursuing you even though you run and hide which tells me that he sees something in you, in him, in the two of you being together," Hec listed. "Just because he hasn't kissed you yet or offered to sleep in the same bed as you doesn't mean that he doesn't want to. He just doesn't want to scare you off again. Your track record with him kind of suggests it."
"Hey," I reached over to slap him as he ducked out of the way and chuckled.
"I'm just saying Ana. You two are learning to develop that deep connection. He knows you are hurt. But he wants to work with you despite all of that. That says a lot. Overlooking all the other things or secrets about his past and yours, he's trying to build a connection with you because he knows that that will help the two of you when trouble arises. And a real connection makes everything else better."
I thought a lot about what Hec had told me and that night when Eric was outside in the college's parking lot standing on the side of his car with a small bouquet of flowers, I couldn't help but feel that there certainly was a connection growing between the two of us. There was still a little doubt in me here and there or any time that I remembered something about my relationship with Cain. But whenever he looked over and smiled at me as though I was the most important person to him, I let myself live in the moment. Eric was helping me and I was learning how to finally be happy.
AN: Sorry if this is kind of a late update. You can leave the story if you want to but I felt that I was making it have too much romance. I had to add in some suspense and action in here. After all it is Dauntless. So yes I made Eric have a criminal family showing that there is more to the story than just Ana having to see the contrast on the relationships in her life. It is also a story about Eric seeing something in Ana that is contrast to the type of life that he is used to. Yes they have been talking a whole lot about one another, sharing details about their lives but Ana is still being cautious. She is slowly learning and I didn't want her to automatically drop everything but she will be seeing another differences. One of course was in here. I hope that you all liked it. Thank you for reading.
