CHAPTER 10
Elena walked slowly down the stairs. She had awakened alone but knew Damon was in the house somewhere. She also knew that it was going to be a really difficult day because Stefan was back. She didn't want to hurt the younger Salvatore but everything had changed for her and she wasn't sure how to avoid causing him pain.
Stefan watched as Elena walked down the stairs without looking up and took the cup of coffee Damon held out to her. She drank deeply, draining nearly half the cup in one long swallow. Her eyes closed as she sighed in pleasure at the taste and she took the granola bar that Damon handed her. It was like watching a perfectly choreographed dance between the two, one in which neither needed to think about the steps.
Elena moved over and sat on the couch, her legs curled up underneath her, and ate the granola bar while finishing her coffee. Damon continued to sip a cup of coffee while he read the newspaper and the silence between the two was one of familiarity and comfort. Stefan narrowed his eyes as he realized Elena was wearing Damon's shirt over her jeans but didn't break the silence.
Glancing at Damon and then Stefan before dropping her eyes to the floor, Elena said, "I guess we should talk, Stefan."
Stefan nodded, rising and moving toward the couch but Damon's eyes narrowed and didn't leave Elena. It wasn't until the awkward pause penetrated Stefan's thoughts that he noticed Elena's heart was racing far too fast and her breaths were too shallow.
"Elena," Damon said and waited.
When Elena finally looked up and met his gaze, he said, "I'm not going anywhere."
"Elena?" Stefan queried reaching toward her with one hand.
When Elena flinched, Damon shot Stefan a glare.
"I should talk to him alone," Elena said meeting Damon's eyes but not looking at Stefan who had dropped his hand and moved back.
"Why?" Damon asked. "We all know that I can hear the entire conversation no matter where I am in the house."
"If you want Damon to stay, it's fine, Elena," Stefan said.
"I shouldn't be scared of you," Elena whispered, her voice breaking.
"Says who?" Damon demanded. "Who gets to decide what makes you scared and what doesn't? Or who? Stop asking more of yourself than you would ever consider asking of anyone else."
"He's right," Stefan said. "Give yourself a break, Elena."
Elena nodded slightly and said, "I'm sorry, Stefan. I know this is hurting you and I never wanted that."
"Elena, stop," Stefan said. "I'm fine."
Elena shook her head and said, "I just…I'm scared all the time now if Damon isn't around. He makes me feel safe. Being here makes me feel safe."
"Alright," Stefan said. "I'm not seeing a problem."
"You are honestly going to tell me that you have no problem with me sleeping in your brother's bed every night?" Elena said her natural spirit rising at such a blatantly ridiculous statement.
"You aren't Katherine," Damon said quietly, knowing her greatest fear was to end up using and hurting the brothers.
Stefan's head snapped up at that. "I never thought that, Elena. Never," he said. "But can I ask: Do you feel safe with Damon because he was the one who found you? Or is it because as a vampire he can protect you against pretty much anything?"
"Both," Elena whispered.
"So maybe, given some time, you might be able to trust me to protect you too since I'm a vampire?" Stefan said working to keep the hope out of his voice.
"I…Stefan, I don't want to hurt you," Elena said again.
"Just tell me what you're thinking and feeling, Elena," Stefan said gently.
"It's just that…I know you've been building up your strength with human blood but even if you were as strong and fast as Damon, you're inherently gentle," Elena said struggling to explain. "I know you can and will kill if necessary but Damon…he's far more comfortable with being a predator than you. He doesn't hesitate to…his viciousness makes me feel protected. And I really need to feel that kind of safety."
Stefan glanced at Damon but his brother's face revealed no emotion or clue as to what he thought of Elena's statement.
"I don't know if I'll ever stop needing that feeling," Elena finished.
"Of course you will," Stefan said. "You're too strong to let something like this keep you from living your life on your own terms. You'll get past the fear."
"When?" Elena demanded. "Because this whole situation is completely unfair to both of you."
"Not your call to make, Elena," Damon said.
"It's hurting you, too," Elena said glaring at Damon and showing some of her true personality.
Damon smirked. "Yes," he said. "Because it's so painful to have a beautiful woman in my bed every night. Oh, save me from the torture."
Elena rolled her eyes at him but she couldn't hide her smile. "It's still not fair," she maintained.
"I've been around for over a century and a half," Damon said. "Life's not fair, Elena. If you expect it to be, you're doomed to disappointment."
Before Elena could reply, Caroline whirled through the door and came to a halt in the living room.
"Stefan!" the blonde said brightly. "Welcome home."
Caroline hugged him quickly and then sat next to Elena. "The rest of the crew is on their way," she said.
Damon poured a glass of whiskey at that news and Stefan raised an eyebrow in question.
"Jeremy, Bonnie, and probably Alaric," Elena explained quietly.
As soon as it was out of her mouth, even the humans could hear the sound of cars pulling up. They came in without knocking causing Stefan to feel slightly bemused that these people were all that comfortable with his brother.
"Stefan!" Bonnie said happily. "Glad your back."
"Thanks, Bonnie," Stefan said as Damon rolled his eyes.
Alaric and Jeremy both nodded at Stefan and made themselves comfortable around the living room.
"Caroline, you promised to show me your room," Bonnie said causing Elena to grin.
"Your room?" Stefan asked.
"Yes, this place definitely needed a female friendly space," Caroline said. "So I made one."
"My room is very female friendly," Damon said with a lascivious smirk.
"Uh," Bonnie said. "I just ate breakfast so please don't say things like that."
The three females laughed at that and went up the stairs chatting about decorating and men.
"Not exactly the welcome home you were expecting, huh?" Alaric said to Stefan accepting a glass of whiskey from Damon despite the early hour.
"No, not really," Stefan said. "I wish I had been here for her. And for the sheriff."
Jeremy was watching Stefan closely and Stefan said, "Whatever it is, just say it, Jeremy."
"I don't want my sister hurt anymore than she already is," Jeremy said with a shrug.
"I'm not going to hurt her," Stefan said.
"Not intentionally," Jeremy agreed. "But now that you're back, Elena is going to push herself to be normal, whatever that is. Which means she's going to push herself to be comfortable with you again."
"And?" Stefan asked not seeing where he was going.
"And she won't even be alone in a room with me," Alaric said quietly.
"Me either," Jeremy said. "Someone always has to be there with her whether it's Aunt Jenna, one of the girls, or Damon."
Stefan looked at Damon who nodded once. "She's only slept at home twice since the attack," the older Salvatore said.
"You left her alone?" Stefan asked incredulously.
"Don't be an idiot," Jeremy said. "Damon's her freaking shadow."
Damon glared at them both and said, "No, I didn't leave her alone those two nights. I stayed at the house. Even with me controlling her dreams, she didn't sleep as well there as she does here."
"She feels safe with Damon," Jeremy said. "And I don't want her to think she has to back away from him because you're jealous or whatever. I know you guys have issues with women because of Katherine but tough. Elena doesn't need that kind of stress."
Meanwhile, in the room Caroline had claimed, the three girls spoke quietly.
"How are you doing with Stefan being back?" Caroline asked. "That can't be easy."
Elena shook her head and said, "I know Stefan wouldn't hurt me. I do. But no matter how many times I tell myself that, I still can't make myself feel safe with him."
"Elena, that's a natural response to what happened," Bonnie said gently.
"I don't want to hurt him," Elena said. "And I know I'm inevitably going to because I can't not be around Damon."
"Stefan is a good guy," Bonnie said. "And he'll understand."
"Will he? Or will he see the woman who looks like Katherine repeating history?" Elena said bitterly.
