Chapter 9
"Lizzie, honey, please. Just a few bites," Elliot tried to entice his youngest girl with her favorite meal, but she stubbornly refused to eat.
After Olivia had been released from the hospital a week ago, she made good on her promise and arrived to talk with Lizzie. The meeting was going well, and Olivia even got her to say a few words, until she suggested that Lizzie see someone to continue talking about her feelings. At just the mention of a therapist, Lizzie clammed up and made it clear that she didn't want to go.
She was so violently opposed to the idea that Olivia relented and asked if it would be alright if she came back in a few days to talk more. Lizzie reluctantly nodded. The next visit was much like the first one, and Lizzie still would not even hear about going to a therapist.
She eventually told Olivia that only freaks went to those doctors, and that she wasn't a freak. Olivia tried to explain that the doctors were there to help in tough situations, but it didn't make a difference. When Olivia let Elliot in on the reason Lizzie wouldn't see someone, he decided that she would go whether she liked it or not. And so, Lizzie was on a hunger strike of sorts.
Dickie sat on the other side of the table, eating his pasta in what he made clear was quiet resentment directed towards his father. He knew this was not the way to handle Lizzie.
Kathleen stirred the noodles on the stove a little before making a plate for her painfully absent mother. Kathy slept in her master bedroom for most of the day, and could not be convinced to come downstairs for any meals. If Kathleen didn't bring her nourishment, Kathy wouldn't get it herself.
Elliot tried again, "Lizzie, you have to eat something. Please, your sister made this just especially for you." She shook her head. Elliot prepared a bite of pasta on her fork and held it up. "Come on, honey. Open your mouth. It's just a little bite," He brought the fork closer to her mouth, and she spitefully slapped it to the floor.
"Damn it, Lizzie," Elliot swore in frustration. "It's just a doctor for Christ's sake. What's it going to hurt?"
Dickie slammed his silverware down on his plate, "Leave her alone, Dad! You're always trying to force us to do stuff we don't want to. She shouldn't have to go if she doesn't want to."
"Stay out of this, Dickie. She needs to go; it'll help her."
Dickie stood, "Yeah, well if it'll help so much then why don't you go, huh? You're the one who acts like everything is fine. One of your kids won't eat, one's pregnant, and another killed herself. That's real great parenting, Dad," he added sarcastically.
Elliot fought to keep his temper under control. "Go to your room, Dickie."
"Why?" He nearly shouted. "So you can feel like you acted at least a little bit like a parent today? Or so you can bully Lizzie some more?"
Elliot clenched his fist. "Go, Dickie. Right now, or I swear to God…"
"What? What are you gonna do?" Dickie goaded. "Hit me?"
Elliot stood up so fast that he knocked over his chair. But before he could say anything, he was interrupted.
"Stop! Just stop it!" It was Lizzie, and she was shouting like she'd never used her lungs before. "I don't want this! Stop fighting over me! I just want-I just want-" She broke into violent sobs. "I just want…hiccup…Maureen."
Dickie rushed to her side to comfort her, but she pushed him away. "Don't touch me! It isn't real! She isn't gone. I just know she isn't. She can't be…" Lizzie plopped heavily back into her chair as her body shuddered with every breath she tried to regain.
Humbled and shocked by his daughter's outburst, Elliot didn't know what else to do except sit back down. Dickie hadn't moved from his spot beside Lizzie, but now seemed to agree with Elliot's idea and took his seat.
As Lizzie settled down, Dickie looked to his father with what seemed to be an offering of peace in his eyes. Elliot nodded very slightly in acceptance. Dickie locked gazes with him and both males understood the silent agreement: Lizzie would get the help she needed, but Elliot was going to stop pushing her so hard about seeing a psychologist. Elliot would let Dickie try his hand at encouraging Lizzie. He considered this a small concession to getting his child healthy again.
"Hey," Kathleen poked her head down the stairs. "What's going on down here?"
Elliot cleared his throat, "Everything's fine, sweetheart. How's your mother?"
Kathleen sighed and continued the rest of the way to the kitchen. She shot Elliot a questioning look when she heard Lizzie's quiet sniffles, but he just shook his head. Hands resting contentedly on her swollen five-and-a-half month belly, she talked as she cleaned up the dinner mess. "She ate some, and I got her to take a quick shower. I put in a movie for her, but she was so tired she'll probably just sleep."
Elliot listened about the rest of Kathleen's day and her upcoming doctor's appointment. Sometime during their conversation, Dickie soundlessly took Lizzie's hand and led her upstairs to bed. Elliot felt reassured now that Dickie was on his side about the therapy, but he couldn't get over the horrible things that Dickie'd said to him. They were true, he thought. Elliot Stabler couldn't take care of his family if he didn't take care of himself, too. It killed him, yet he could never be the kind of father he was before until he got some help in dealing with his own feelings. He needed his second family.
