The world around her stops. The only thing that she can feel are his lips on hers. He's gentle yet at the same time strong with his hands on her hips pulling her closer to him as she puts her hands in his hair. Their faces are so close but at the same time not close enough. She wants more and more. She wants to lose herself in him. His right hand lightly lifts the bottom part of her blouse and she kisses him even more. He continues with a steady hand up her back and her side, rubbing his hand all over her back. The touch is sending electricity through her and she can't help but moan. Or maybe she wants to moan. Either way it spurs Jim on as he starts kissing her neck top to bottom. He captures her lips again. Eilis uses her free hands to begin unbuttoning his shirt and he does the same with her blouse. Something at the back of her head is telling her that this is wrong but how could it be wrong when it feels so right?
"I want you Jim. I've always wanted you." Eilis says in between moans as Jim pours kisses all over her chest.
"Eilis…" He breathes out and they kiss again as her fingers linger on his chest.
He lifts her up by the bottom and carries her to the kitchen placing her in a sitting position on top of the counter all without breaking their kiss. She can't breathe and she doesn't want to.
"Oh Eilis, how I want this…but we shouldn't be doing this…" he says quietly but doesn't stop the kissing.
Those words trigger the reminder in her that she is in fact married, with children, and this is wrong, no matter how good or right it feels. Tears start pouring down her face but she can't stop kissing him. It feels like her life depends on kissing Jim.
"Eilis? Eilis? You're crying." Jim breaks the kiss and uses his thumb to clear her tears on her cheeks.
She looks down in embarrassment and guilt. She kissed the man whom she denied all those years ago. This isn't fair to him. This isn't fair to Tony.
"I…I am so sorry Jim…I didn't mean to…Oh my god, I am so…What have I done…Jim…oh no…" Eilis begins and Jim steps away to let her jump back to her feet. She tugs at her hair and looks for her blouse because not wearing one is becoming more awkward now. More tears flow down as she doesn't know how she should be feeling.
"Eilis, calm down. Eilis." He reaches out to stop her from breaking down but it's too late and she's running out the door and into the hills.
The air is cold, just as he said it would be, but this is what she needs. She needs something to wake her up. She needs something to slap her in the face and make her realize what she's doing. She has a loving husband whom she loves to the end of the earth. But she can't avoid those eyes. She could when she was young, she couldn't when she came back and nearly got engaged with Jim, and she can't seem to now. If she cares so much about Jim why would she do this to him? Why would she hurt him so? Why would she kiss him and then run? The tears are nearly frozen on her face and her face must be red the moment she returns to her house. A long time ago she would have cared about what others would say. Now, she can't even bother to think about such trivia.
