CHAPTER 9 - I Hate Everything About You

"Excuse me." Mac's voice was icy, menacing when she tried to step away from Harm. The headache was hammering and a dull ache presided behind her eyes. She didn't dare look back at him again out of concern that it would botch her mission should he try to stop her. It wasn't real, it couldn't be and yet, when she felt his hands on her an almost familiar sensation coursed through her.

'There will never be an us.'

She managed to stymie the feeling and keep it under the tight control that she now had on her faculties. The anger she held for him built to an almost cataclysmic level. Her fingernails dug into her palm as she tightened her fists. Mac wanted so badly to physically hurt him, to end him but, that too meant losing control. The Commander was not going to get under her skin, she wouldn't let him anymore. That part of her life was gone, dead, buried and Mac remembered that she didn't need him anymore. She never needed him. He meant nothing to her.

'There will never be an us.' 'There will never be an us.' 'There will never be an us.'

Mac repeated her mantra over and over again as she weaved past the dancefloor, squeezing herself between a few patrons who made to block her path. She made it back to Chad and grabbed a hold of whatever drink he had left on the table before him. Mac tossed it back in one shot wincing when the familiar taste of vodka burned down her throat. She poured herself another shot from the bottle of Goose that sat chilling next to their table and downed it as well hoping it would ease her shaking hands.

"Looks like you came to party after all." Chad started with a grin, sensing something of a change in her. When she didn't object, Chad pulled her roughly to him kissing Mac hard and sloppily.

Mac tried to give in, to stop herself from thinking about The Commander and the way his hands on her arms felt - an electric charge that…

A noise that sounded like a large explosion echoed throughout the warehouse. It was muffled by the bass and the constant staccato of music but, Mac heard it. She knew it was a gunshot. Pulling herself away from Chad, she stood searching out through the crowd until her eyes locked a man that was standing near the stage pointing a weapon towards them. "Get down!" She yelled and then threw herself into Chad causing both of them to hit the ground hard.

"What are you...Ah!" The second shot sailed wide hitting a painting behind their booth before all hell broke loose. That sound was enough to stop the music and get the patrons running out of the club.Any and all of Chad's bravado came to a stop when the bullets began to rain down. He stared at Mac wide eyed and afraid betraying all if the strength and power he pretended to exude.

His guards were being picked apart, each one mowed down when they attempted to come to their rescue. There were a few still alive and shooting back, Mac could see as she peaked out from behind a table that had flipped over.

"Jackie we need to get out of here!" Chad yelled at her as he cowered behind the table. The man was shivering and so panicked. He watched, horrified as Mac slid across the ground over to what was left of one of his bodyguards. She flipped over the body and searched managing to score a fully loaded pistol. "What are you doing?"

"Saving your ass." She scooted slightly away from the table and opened fire, shooting two of the attackers. The wig she'd been wearing had slipped and Mac tore it off her head exposing her brown hair that was slicked back under a net and copious amounts of hairspray.

"Who are you?" Chad asked as he watched the supposedly shy CSIS employee turn into something of a skilled warrior. He had done all of his research but, clearly it wasn't enough, the woman had fooled him.

"CIA. Stay behind the fucking table." She ordered, pushing him down when the man tried to shift out of his hiding place. Mac knew the calvary would come in soon all they needed was to hold on until then. Once news of a shooting hit the police airwaves she'd get her back up.

Harm managed to make his way out of the bathrooms once the shooting started and nearly got trampled doing so. The other patrons were running away from the firefight as he made his way forward, slipping underneath the platform of the elevated stage. From his vantage he could see Chad's goons returning fire and some being killed instantly.

He counted eight men with high capacity pistols to Chad's four guards. Taking aim, with his .380, he squeezed off two rounds managing to immobilize one of the shooters. Crawling under the stage he made his way down its length, the lack of people dancing giving him a clear view of the VIP area where Mac had been.

The tables were flipped over and from behind he saw a slender figure slip out and return fire. 'Thank God.' Mac was alive although it wouldn't be for much longer. He took out the magazine counting four bullets and one in the chamber which wouldn't provide much cover. "Damnit!" He cursed under his breath and tried to find a way to get to her.

Moments later sirens began sounding outside sending some of the men scrambling including Chad's goons. "We have to get out of here. Are you shot?" Mac asked looking Chad up and down. She couldn't be questioned by the police or put her mission in jeopardy. The only viable option was to run. "Are you shot?!" She asked Chad in her drill instructor voice to find him shaking his head. "Get ready to move. In three. Two. Move!"

Mac sent him out first guiding him to the exit door that she had located upon first entering the club. Shots ran out again, less of them and it was Chad who got hit on the thigh causing him to fall steps away from the exit. "Get the fuck up, Chadwick!" She yelled, using all of her strength to get him moving again.

More shots sounded and Mac turned around long enough to see The Commander standing by the stage taking aim at the attackers. It provided her some cover, enough to get Chad moving again and out of the building.

The two shuffled down the back alley stopping a few feet away when Mac found a car. She broke the window with the butt her pistol and reached inside to open the door. "Get in."

"You don't have a key." The man said holding his injured leg and visibly shaking.

Mac rolled her eyes. "I can hotwire a car." She said and disappeared under the dash hoping to get a spark. "C'mon, spark you piece of shit!"

At that moment she'd let her guard down and didn't see the man aiming his gun right at them as the vehicle hummed to life. Chad was shot again, this time fatally and his limp body fell to the pavement below.

"Mac!" Harm had managed to follow them stepping out into the alley to find her under the dash of a beat up vehicle. When he made to walk towards her, there was a movement in the shadows, a man raising a gun to shoot. He had killed Chad and Mac was his next target.

It was almost in slow motion that he raced towards Mac, stepping in front of her without thinking. There was a quick searing pain on his right abdomen the likes of which he'd never experienced before. Instinctively, he pressed his hand against the area and then studied his fingers to find a warm sticky substance. He'd been shot.

"Well this is just great!" Mac cursed, raising her gun as she opened fire on the man that had shot The Commander. She landed a blow to his skull and then calmly slipped into the driver's seat. "Get in and close the door!" She ordered putting the car into drive once Harm did as told.

She sped through the streets of Toronto, evading police in hopes of reaching her apartment. "How bad are you hit?"

He pulled his hand off the wound and pulled his shirt up unable to gauge how far the bullet had gone. "I don't know, losing a lot of blood."

"Why is it that all you do is bring me trouble? You're a goddamned magnet for it!" Mac was yelling, slamming one first into the steering wheel. "What are you doing here, Commander?"

"I came to find you, Mac…You're in danger."

"That's only because you're here." She spat out and took a turn too fast causing Harm to fall against her. The innocent touch seemed to upset her even more. "All you do is bring me trouble. It's all you've ever done."

Harm couldn't argue with her. "You passed a hospital, Mac."

"Not going to a hospital. We won't be able to explain you getting shot and I don't need that kind of heat."

He kept his hand pressed against his side wincing each time Mac took a sharp turn or hit a bump. "Drive easy, Marine." The pain was growing exponentially as the adrenaline began to wind down. He'd never been shot before and was sure he never wanted to again. "Where are you taking me?"

Mac didn't answer simply kept staring out of the windshield. "Damnit, MacKenzie answer me!" He wanted to grab the steering wheel and pull the car over, to shake whatever took hold of her. "You're in danger, Mac… the CIA is compromised."

"You don't know a damned thing, Commander."

She brought the vehicle to a stop outside of her apartment building. "Mac, where are we?" He stared out the window to find something that reminded him of his loft back home.

"Stop with the 20 questions, Commander." She hopped out of the car and came around to the passenger side stopping with her hand on the door. Mac knew The Commander would likely need help but, she didn't want to touch him.

Just looking at him though the window was making her headache start again. "Damn you." With a huff, she pulled open the door and Harm eased out keeping a hold on his side. "Can you walk?"

"I can manage." Harm said with a nod and numbly followed her inside to the third floor where her loft was. The industrial look outside was a stark contrast to the inside, specifically her apartment with the white washed walls and impeccably polished wooden floors.

The walls were devoid of any artwork and the only signs that anyone lived there was the furniture and the clothing strewn over the couch and her bed. "Go lay down, Commander." She ordered pointing in the direction of her bed as Mac disappeared into the bathroom.

Harm did as told and began to strip out of his jacket and shirt exposing the wound. He was starting to get dizzy, the corners of his vision swimming with no means of controlling it. When she returned Mac was carrying a small black case which she propped up on the nightstand.

She produced a pair of latex gloves, slipped them on and then began pulling items out of the bag. "What are you doing?"

Mac took out a needle which she injected into a small vial. "Tending to your wound. As much as I want to kick your ass I am not gonna let you bleed to death." She plunged the needle near the wound and remained with a steely detachment when she heard him wince. "I learned a few things in the agency. Feel this?"

Harm shook his head when she poked around the wound now numb from the injection she'd given him. He watched as she worked, using some sort of metal pliers to fish inside the wound for bullet fragments. He winced again when she touched a specific spot. "Oh, suck it up Commander."

"You know what this feels like, Mac. It ain't no walk in the park." He groaned loudly when she finally pulled put the bullet and tossed it into a cup on the nightstand.

As Mac cleansed the area, her gloved hands brushed over his skin. She sighed and ignored a specific feeling, one that brought back a memory of him caring for her when she'd been shot. She smiled fondly at the memory and just as quickly the headache began. Her hands stilled, coming off of him as if she'd been burnt.

Harm noticed the change in her, the slight smile that disappeared so suddenly. "Mac."

Her name on his lips only increased the pressure of the headache making it so that Mac had to step away for a moment and regain control. 'There will never be an us.' She recited the words in her mind over and over each time bringing up the bad memories between them. The Commander was bad for her, evil and a detriment to her mission. He would destroy things; he would destroy her.

"Mac, what the hell is going on with you?" He tried to sit up, to go to her but the blood loss had taken its toll. Harm stumbled back into the bed. "Goddamnit, Marine talk to me!"

Mac whirled on him with an anger in her eyes that Harm had never seen. She pulled out another vial plunging its contents into his thigh without warning. "I have nothing to say to you, Commander."

"Stop calling me that!" He yelled at her. Christ, hadn't Webb warned him of this? Hadn't he said that Mac wasn't Mac anymore? Harm hadn't believed it, people just didn't erase themselves like a hard drive. "I have a name, dammit." They had a past, a relationship. She was his best friend. Harm knew he made his fare share of mistakes but, it didn't warrant this hostility from her, not after so many years apart. "What did they do to you?"

"They made me better. Stronger." Mac stated as she produced a thread and needle that she used to close the wound.

"Mac...I." Harm couldn't finish his statement, passed out a few seconds later.