Late as per, but I'm pretty sure nobody had any illusions about me updating in a reasonable time anymore. I could apologise, but then again it's not like I do it on purpose. I had an awesome idea today on the bus (endless source of inspiration) and that means I'm going to be working full time on this story and on Vanished (the idea extended to that too). It's really exciting and I was a little stuck with these two for a series of reason that I'm going to keep to myself, I don't want to spoil anything. Just know it sounds really awesome and it will allow me to focus a little better. So here's this, no promises on the next update even though it's already saved up ready to be posted. Let me know what you think about this and enjoy.


Meredith was staring. She was well aware of that, she'd done it frequently enough in the past that staring at someone in the cafeteria was not something she took issue in. Only she was sitting alone today, no Cristina, no Alex, not even April or Jackson. It was just plain weird like this. Although, it wasn't just staring with the intention of gossiping, or the possibility of gossiping, again, she was alone, so it would have gotten her only a free ticket to the loony bin if she started talking and giggling and ewing all by herself. This was research for her secret project. While Derek and Amelia also had to sort out their issues, she knew very well there was nothing she could do for them, maybe give a little push, but they needed time first and then they might even make it themselves. On the other, hand Owen and Amelia didn't need a mere push, they needed to be locked in a room together for hours, but considering what she'd managed to gather from the both of them, verbally and reading body language, that was not enough either, in fact, doing that now could be potentially explosive. She needed to lay ground work first and then she could do that.

So, she stared, absorbing all the information she could from afar. Owen was sitting alone, looking at a tablet, sporadically taking a bite from the sandwich in his hand. The bags under his eyes were bigger every day that passed and the gloomy look in his eyes was beginning to resemble the one he'd been sporting when he and Cristina started having issues. Cristina had called a few days ago and asked how Owen was doing, silently reminding Meredith she'd asked her to make sure he'd be okay and Meredith had then realised she was doing a crap job. After all Cristina had never asked to make sure he'd stay single and wait for her, possibly forever. She wanted him to move on, she was moving on and Meredith had made a mess of it all – with the best intentions, but still a giant mess.

"You're ready to change your husband already?"

Meredith's head whipped around fast, swallowing the sandwich in her mouth whole and feeling it go all the way down to her stomach. Her shoulders relaxed when she saw Callie. Exactly who she needed. "What? No."

"Really?" she raised her eyebrows mockingly. "I heard he was a McAss again a few days ago." She turned a bit more serious. "I thought you said he was better?"

Meredith sighed, she hadn't thought this through. Ever since she'd learned about Amelia and Owen splitting because of her big mouth – there seemed to be other reasons, but she still felt guilty – she'd been meaning to mend that, preferably with the help of Callie. She was Owen's friend and the last grown up female in the hospital she could think of to come on board. Yet, she couldn't tell her a lot of things, she'd forgot she couldn't tell her so many things it was going to be incredibly hard to make this work. "He was. It's something else. It wasn't about me for once." She turned to Callie trying to decide whether she should tell her about any of the things that had been going through her mind until a second earlier.

Luckily, she didn't have to decide, because apparently it was written all over her face. "Alright, what is it?" when she frowned, trying to pull an innocently confused look, Callie tilted her head, eyebrows perfectly arched. She wasn't buying into any of that crap. "Spill. Now."

"I did a thing." She blurted out. "Not a bad thing, but it turned out bad and I ruined something and I want to fix it."

Callie snorted loudly. "You sound like every song ever written. I'm going to need you to be more specific here."

Meredith pressed her lips together, both to keep from saying something she couldn't explain and thinking really hard how to go about this. For a second her brain cowardly thought about the possibility of getting Derek to help her with this instead, it would make the explanation process a lot easier, but then again he'd be helping her help Owen sleep with Amelia. Not directly, but that was indeed part of the goal. She wasn't sure he'd be on board with that, he did want Amelia – and Owen – to be happy, either separately or together, but be an active part of the process was maybe too much to ask. "I'm sort of responsible for someone breaking up." Callie nodded, urging her to expand on that. "And I feel bad and I want to fix them. Get them back together."

"Okay." Callie said, obviously thinking. "No, wait, that's not okay. Why would you break two people up? More importantly who? Is it someone I know? Ooh, do they work here? Of course they do, all the people we know work here-"

"Callie. Callie!" Meredith interrupted her rambling, still throwing glances Owen's way from time to time. "I didn't mean to break them up. I didn't think they would. I thought they were all wrong for each other, but I was wrong."

Callie sat pondering. It wasn't like Meredith to do these things. She was usually very understand and tolerant of other people and if something bothered her she'd usually get someone else to do her dirty work. "So, let me get this straight. There were two people dating and you broke them up."

"No." Meredith shook her head fervently. "Yes. But it wasn't like that. I merely suggested something and it seems to have led to them breaking up."

Callie nodded, this sounded a lot more realistic, yet her curiosity was growing each passing second. "Are you sure it wasn't something else that happened? I mean, what could you possibly suggest that would end up with someone breaking up?"

She sighed. How could she explain without saying anything. Or maybe she should. Or not. After all Owen and Amelia were officially not together anymore and according to the hospital talk they never had been, so why ruin that perfect record. "She, uh, I wasn't sure she would be a right fit for him. I asked to make sure she knew what she was doing, because as far as I knew he wasn't her type and I thought I was looking out for him." She started carefully, frowning at every word, hoping either Callie would put names to those pronouns or just understand the story anyway. "It turns out I was wrong and she's actually really good for him, but by that time she had already told him off. According to her it's better off like this, even though there are both pining and looking like kicked puppies all the time. And I feel guilty and I want to fix it so I can feel better."

Callie frowned pensively. This sounded so familiar. "You do know if you told me who these two people are, because I know you're not talking about you and Derek in the third person, it would make things a lot easier. Like a lot lot."

Meredith grimaced. She knew very well. This was Amelia, though, and she didn't want to be the one babbling about her private life to people that barely knew her around here. Owen, she could drag into this, but she was feeling overly protective of her sister-in-law lately, so she wasn't going to do that, either Callie already knew or her lips were sealed. "I can't." Callie's eyebrow arched sceptically. "Tell me what to do anyway?" she smiled hopelessly.

"Are you really sure nothing else happened?"

"As far as I know." Meredith shrugged her shoulders. "Look, they both have a pretty rough past and I think I pushed a little too hard and they got scared. I mean every time I asked she just said that it was better this way. That he deserved better."

It was almost like a light bulb lit over Callie's head. She knew who Meredith was talking about, at least half of the couple. She wanted to hit herself over the head, she'd caught Meredith staring at Owen just a few minutes ago and she was more than sure she wasn't in love with him. Not only he was Cristina's ex, but they had never really got on all that well. "Oh my God. It's Owen. You're talking about Owen. You know who Owen's girl is! You have to tell me. I tried to get it out of him, but he was all vague and-"

"I can't." Meredith said so fast she wasn't sure the words were distinguishable. "I can't. Wait, what did Owen tell you?"

"He didn't say anything. I had to drag it out of him." Callie groaned. "He was seeing someone, apparently someone he liked a lot, because he kept going on and on about how he was over it, but it was obvious he was still so hung up on her. Plus, she gave him some crap excuse to break off things and he kept defending her. I just want to wring her neck so much." Owen was in love. She could understand that, but from what he'd told her he was far better off without this woman and now Meredith was trying to play Cupid and get these two back together. Callie felt like she was going to burst with curiosity, she felt like a ticking bomb. To think she worked with her, whoever she was. Looking at Meredith she realised how she was so deeply committed and took a deep breath. "He was really sad. I mean, maybe it's too soon, you know, after Cristina?"

Meredith shook her head. Owen and Cristina had been done with their relationship years before she left. They loved each other and kept going back to each other and ending up together, but it wasn't healthy and surely it wasn't helping either one of them moving on. "No, trust me. They're good for one another. And who are we really to judge?"

"Yeah, you're right about that." She agreed. "Still, it's no use to waste any time on this, Owen's going back to the army." As Meredith's eyes widened impossibly she explained. "He said they are doing some training thingies for recruits and Teddy offered him to go for a tour. He's thinking about it, but really, I think he's going to go."

Meredith couldn't believe this. He couldn't go back, this was the worst idea ever. Not after last time. She'd had a front row seat to his PTSD and she'd seen him struggle, it was years ago and now they were closer, well, closeish enough that Meredith didn't want to see him go through that again. Not for his sake, which meant Amelia's, which meant Derek's, which meant hers. Owen could not go. It was stupid and he could die out there. "But he can't go."

"Maybe it'll do him good." Callie shrugged.

She shook her head in disbelief and, slightly, in anger. He'd really learned nothing from last time. Also, Cristina was going to be so pissed at her for letting this happen. She'd done exactly the opposite of what she'd asked, she'd ruined his new promising relationship and had – indirectly – sent him back to war. Meredith huffed, how could a few words together generate such a reaction was beyond her. "Callie you were there. This is not about Ame-his relationship, it's about him. What if something happens to him? I don't want anyone else to die or leave, people keep dropping dead around here, they leave and it's just... I can't let this happen. He can't go."

"I know, but maybe it's what he needs. After the plane crash and Cristina, he needs a reboot. I think a part of him realises it and that's why he wants to go. He told me himself he's worried about going back for those reasons exactly, but maybe he can't not go." She exhaled, she was worried about Owen, he was good at keeping himself and the hospital together, but it was obvious he wasn't okay. "Oh, maybe that's the solution to your problem. If he went, then he'd get his groove back and so when he comes back he's going to be ready to date again and that's when you set him up."

Meredith smiled sadly, Callie had a point, a really good one at that. She caught a glimpse of Amelia walking in to get lunch and she remembered she was pulling to get them back together now. For the both of them. "If he comes back." She murmured. "I get what you're saying, but this thing, being with someone, might also help him get past that. She wasn't here when the plane crash happened and she's not Cristina. She could be just as good as the army as far as getting his groove back."

"Who is it?" Callie was going in her head through the list of people they knew to try and figure out who this mystery woman was, eliminating slowly all the possible ones. Both their pagers went off simultaneously and, like a good team, they groaned in unison. "Why, why do people get hurt?" Callie wondered out loud while Meredith stuffed the remaining pieces of her sandwich in her mouth and grabbed her apple from her tray.

Callie turned. She was sure Owen could benefit greatly from going back to do what he loved, only Meredith was right as well. He might come back with PTSD again or seriously injured. Or not come back at all. Yet the more she kept looking at him, the more she saw how sad he was, almost depressed kind of sad. Until his pager beeped and he walked right into Amelia Shepherd. She shook her head as she observed the exchange. It was awkward. Too awkward. Callie frowned. They were surgeons, always in a hurry, they bumped into each other all the time and it was fine. Owen's hands had flown right to Amelia's waist, steadying her, disappearing under her lab coat, while Amelia's hands were on his chest and they were standing there like that, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, only it shouldn't be. It looked intimate and it looked intense, the 'I wish you were naked now' kind of intense. It lasted only seconds, but in Callie's brain it was playing out in slow motion. Once they were stable enough to stand on their own two feet, before the hands moved, they looked at each other. They looked into each other's eyes like they were the only ones in the room and – while it probably lasted half a nanosecond – that sparked something she should have realised long ago, at least ten minutes ago. After that, albeit brief, but hot, passionate, super steamy stare down, they pushed away far more rigidly and awkwardly than strictly necessary and went on their separate ways. The she Meredith kept mentioning had to be Amelia. It fit, it fit perfectly. The only ones who had not been here during the plane crash were her and Pierce and she'd just set Pierce up with the radiologist, so it couldn't be her, plus Owen had openly denied when she'd asked that, so it left only Amelia. Derek's little sister. Now that she thought about it, it made all so much sense. The fact that Meredith was so hell bent on fixing them and how she'd been the one to mess them up in the first place. Amelia was her sister-in-law and Owen was her best friend's ex-husband. This was a mess, capital m. The second she turned to confront Meredith about her new discovery however, she found Meredith was not there anymore.

Amelia walked away as fast as she could, that was dangerous. It felt dangerous, like sparks and pure oxygen, it was the recipe for disaster. Her and Owen hadn't been alone in a long time. Ever since she'd taken it upon herself to break them up. They hadn't even been in the same trauma room together, something she'd spent more than the acceptable amount of time debating whether was intentional on his part or merely random. She'd been casually walking by Meredith's table when she'd heard a curious bit of her conversation with Callie. She hadn't been meaning to eavesdrop, but she found putting her leftovers in the trash an activity requiring much longer than usual. When she heard Callie talk about Owen talking about her she'd felt something in her chest. It made her feel better, knowing he cared, knowing he didn't hate her, knowing he could never hate her even when she couldn't let him love her. It was all her fault and she accepted the repercussions fully. It was maddening, though. She didn't want him to love her and suffer because of that, meanwhile she felt less alone when he was around, sneaking glances and looking away with a frown when she turned to him. Her life was just an endless bundle of complicated and she was tired of being mad at the entire universe for that. Speaking of, she was still mad at Derek, that could be a nice way to channel all her anger into something semi constructive.

"Hey Amy."

She closed her eyes, mentally calming herself. Dealing with her brother wasn't what she needed right now, let alone what she wanted. Right now she wanted to be alone, completely alone and Derek was the last person she wanted to see, so she needed to find a way to get rid of him. Fast. "You need something?"

Her harsh, cold tone was enough for him to stand straighter. It wasn't even professional. He'd been expecting her to be mad, he knew she had every right, that night he humiliated her in the lobby he'd crossed a line and he knew exactly how much it hurt her when he did that, more than just anyone. He'd yelled at her and said things that evidently hurt her deeply. Derek had been feeling bad enough in the past week that he wanted to try and make it better and, like Bailey had once suggested, 'I'm sorry' was a great way to start. He'd just wing it from there. "I'm so, so sorry, Amy."

She huffed, not even turning to look at him. "Save it. I don't need it."

He rubbed a and down his face, she was way angrier than he'd anticipated, even considering the time that had passed. Amelia was spitting poison each time she opened her mouth and he was at loss. "Please. I am sorry. I was a jerk and I was out of line and I was wrong."

Amelia just shrugged, she didn't appear to be listening to a word he was saying. In fact, her head was spinning like a planet in a completely different universe from him, her thoughts everywhere but here. The idea to go back down to LA had passed, quite fast, in her mind. She could just go back. Away from Owen and away from Derek. Then all the reasons she'd left in the first place came back to her. Los Angeles was a big city, but definitely not big enough for all the bad memories she'd left there. "What do you want, Derek? You want to finish off listing all the things I failed at? How you're so much better than me? Or were you just going to go over all the mistakes I've ever made, the ones you're aware of, of course-"

"No," he closed his eyes and tried to take her hand, but she shoved his away. "I'm apologising, Amy. I was wrong and I made a mistake. I'm really sorry, I don't know why I keep second guessing you, I-"

Amelia snorted and turned with a snarky smirk on her face. "How about I tell you that, uh? It's because of your damn God complex, Derek. You think you're so much better than everyone else, you're constantly pushing everyone around and you think of yourself first every damn time you open your mouth." She felt a lump in her throat. It was hard. She loved him, he was her big brother, she idolised him. Yet he had never been able to forgive her and, no matter how hard he was trying, he never would. She knew that and she'd made her peace with that, only she thought they were past this. Most of all she never believed he would hurt her like this, she knew he could, but she'd seriously believed they were past it. At least now she knew she was wrong. "You know what the worst thing is? You're right. All those things you said were true and you're making me hate you for it."

Derek felt his stance fell. He had no idea why he always ended up hurting the people he loved most. Amelia, Addison, Meredith. The closer he felt to someone, the more vulnerable they made him feel, the more he'd push them away, hurting them and himself. That's what he'd accused Amelia of and, despite that, Richard had taken her in and Meredith was keeping him in the dog house for that. He kept driving people away and the realisation that one day his children could be at the end of that was frightening at best. "Amy I was wrong. I was. I mean, look at you, you've accomplished what I have in fifteen years in a mere seven. It's not my name that's helped, I know that, your resume speaks for itself."

She sighed. It wasn't on the professional side that she had any doubts about. "Oh, I'm very well aware of that. I meant everything else you said. You were correct, I am an epic failure, congratulations."

Derek looked at her. Straight in her eyes, the exact mirror image of his own. Except she looked heartbroken, so deeply hurt, he realised it couldn't have been what he'd said. Not just what he'd said. There was something else and at the moment he was cursing himself in all the languages he wished he'd learned for screwing up their relationship and not being able to comfort her. He knew that look so well. He knew it perfectly. She was holding all the pain inside, letting it accumulate and boil over, all her efforts went to not exploding. It didn't look like she was going such a good job at that and he knew the fault was, at least partly, his. He reached an arm out and put a hand on her shoulder. Tentatively at first, ready to pull away to avoid any – arguably deserved – bodily harm she might decide to inflict on him. His surprise was palpable when she leaned into the touch. His hand closed on her little, bony shoulder, offering as much support as he could, seeing as this was the only acceptable way he could. Derek felt even worse when he saw her eyes tear up and felt her breathing grow irregular under his touch, he was about to say something, but she sniffled and hastily pulled away.

"It's fine. You don't have to worry about me." She looked down at the white floor, trying to keep her composure long enough to be able to walk away, she knew the east stairs were the closest place she could hide in right now. She swallowed thickly and let out a shaky breath before looking up at him again. "I'm not your problem anymore. Consider yourself off the hook."

Derek stared at her retreating form physically unable to move. He knew she was angry at him and that was actively preventing him from being able to be there for her, but he also was positive he was not the one to blame for her anger and sorrow, not entirely, not today.