A/N [Standard 'I don't own anything' disclaimer.]
A slight edit to chapter 7 due to a change in the background of our favourite man-shaped wolf.
On with the story!
Free.
"Don't worry. They can't hurt you any more. I won't let them."
The words still repeated in Hermione's mind as she slowly ate the meal one of the castle elves had delivered to her. She knew that Harry could have no way of knowing about the dream she had had, but still, it got her mind moving in ways it otherwise wouldn't.
Despite the potion-induced haze on her mind she had still noted the changes in Harry; not just those of his body but also his performance in class, he was almost as good as her by now. But he had also become far more secretive, spending a lot of time somewhere that wasn't the Gryffindor common room or the library. Then there was the fact that Harry had outright disappeared the week before the first task. Remembering what she had said to him afterwards filled Hermione with shame, even though she knew the words had been put in her mouth by that traitorous weasel.
As she finished eating she tried to figure out when the first potions had been fed to her. Now that their effects were gone she did recognize her behaviour as far back as the beginning of the year as wrong, and yet it was almost two months before she really lost control. Could it really have started all the way back at the Quiddich World Cup? If it did, how many of the Weasleys were involved in this?
Glancing towards the office where Harry and madam Pomfrey had gone to discuss something in private had her consider Harry again. He had changed, obviously, but how much of it was because of this tournament or because of her... abandoning him, or because of... something else. As Hermione paused to consider, there was really only one question that she knew was important. Was she willing to stand by Harry?
Harry had saved her from that troll back in their first year, even though the headmaster wiped his and Ron's memory of it. Hermione didn't know why the memory charm didn't work on her but she never mentioned it to anyone. Then there was the whole mess with the Philosophers stone and a possessed professor. She was so angry at herself later for not figuring it out then; someone had already passed that room, and yet all the vials were full. They had obviously replenished themselves, she could have followed Harry, but she didn't and Harry had almost died because of it.
During their second year Harry was revealed as a Parselmouth, and instantly vilified as a Dark wizard because of it. Hermione had refused to distance herself from Harry however, the memory of what her mistake last year had almost caused still fresh on her mind. And then she went and made an even worse one. Seriously, going to investigate her suspicion for the Chamber entrance on her own, without informing anyone... Had she not met that prefect along the way... Hermione suppressed the shudder, such things did not bear thinking on.
Anyway, after that, Harry had spent a lot of time with her, talking about anything and everything. It was the only thing that kept her from going insane. She never told him she had heard and remembered all of it. Even all the stories he told in the depth on night, about his 'loving relatives', about their hate of anything not fitting their idea of normal, about all the years he had spent in a tiny cupboard beneath the stairs... he obviously didn't think she can hear him and Hermione had never found the courage to tell him she had.
And last year had been both the best and the worst. When Harry almost died in that accursed game she wanted nothing more than to help him, to do all she can to protect him. And she almost ruined everything when she let her... well, authority-worship, lead her decision to go to professor McGonagall with her concerns over the Firebolt Harry received, instead of Harry himself. He was right to be angry at her, she had gone behind his back, in a way betrayed his trust. But thinking back on it now, other than the one row the evening she got his broom confiscated, Harry never looked at her with anger, only disappointment. That actually hurt far more than anger ever would.
He did eventually forgive her, and Hermione reinforced her private promise to help Harry however she could. She had never expected that to mean helping Harry save his innocent godfather from an unjust execution, steal away a hippogriff due for beheading or to break the very laws of time-travel in the process of doing it all. But that's what happened. Hermione couldn't help the smile as she remembered that short flight on Buckbeak. She had expected to be scared, but instead had only felt safe. It was that night she decided to make a move if Harry hadn't asked her out by next Halloween.
By the time that damned day came however, Hermione recognized it now, she was deeply under the effects of those potions, and her... crush on the green-eyed boy was far from her ability to act upon. And then Harry saved her. Like a knight in shining... armour... The thought died as the memory of her dream came back to the forefront.
Was she willing to stand by Harry? More importantly, was she willing to stand by Harry if he went Dark? Was she willing to aid him in his goals, whatever they might be? Was she willing to walk down that road by his side? She knew the answer before she was done asking the questions...
Always.
"What do you mean, 'long term damage'? The potions were purged." Harry frowned at the experienced healer, "You told me it wasn't too late."
Poppy Pomfrey sighed, sometimes she really hated her job, "The potions have been purged, yes, but it was far closer than I am comfortable with. The magic in them was on the verge of overwhelming her natural resistance, if that happened it would no longer matter if she received any more potions, the effects would be permanent." she glanced to the ward, where the young witch was eating her lunch, "The problem here is that after this much time some parts of her psyche might have already been modified to... accommodate the changes."
"So it wasn't soon enough." Harry frowned.
Poppy shook her head, "No, her magic was still very much resiting the effects. However... You know how most potions work in tandem with the persons magic to work, yes?" Harry nodded, that was one surprising thing he had learned during his 'potions essay binge'. "Unlike those, the potions given to miss Granger worked against her magic instead, trying to force it to affect her thinking."
"It can do that?" Harry blurted out, "I mean... my magic can affect what I think?"
"Yes. It is not something often talked about, but magic is a far more integral part of a witch or a wizard than seems at first. The belief in the superiority of magicals didn't just appear; our magic flows into our bodies, making us stronger, faster, smarter and generally... well, better, than those without magic. It is not a belief or propaganda, it is a fact." That was something Harry hadn't known.
"But then..." Harry couldn't hold back the question, "Why are there so many stupid wizards?"
Poppy held back her smile, at that moment the young man before her reminded her of Lily so very much, "Magic improves our bodies and minds beyond what nature would normally give. If there's not much to begin with, or if magic has to counter certain... issues... I don't need to spell this out, do I?" she asked with a small smile.
"No, you don't." Harry looked to where Hermione sat in her bed, "But how does all of this affect Hermione, exactly?" he turned back to the healer.
"As I said, her magic fought against the changes. However, it no doubt fought more against changes to her core principles than to what she would consider of less importance." Poppy looked at Harry gravely, "That is a very important distinction; the things that might have changed are not ones that are less important, but what she considers less important. I am certain that her core opinions and beliefs are unaffected, but without a before-and-after examination by a mind healer, something that is impossible now, I can't say what, if any, lesser aspects of her personality have suffered."
The two sat in silence for several minutes before Harry spoke, "So basically, parts of her mind that Hermione considers less important might or might not have been modified by the potions fed to her by the weasel." Harry sighed, "Is there any way to know for sure? One that doesn't require me breaking laws of time?" Again.
Poppy sighed, "Not really. Talking with her about this is something you should do anyway, and while it will probably let you find out what has changed, it will be impossible to tell whether the changes were caused by the potions themselves or just the whole event."
"Just the event?" Harry held back from shouting. "There was nothing..."
"Harry." Poppy continued to talk in her calm voice, "Can you really tell me that what happened didn't affect you?" Harry slumped back in his chair. "Even if the potions themselves didn't change anything about her, merely being put in this situation is all but guaranteed to have consequences on her mind." Poppy noted the ward that informed her that her patient was done eating, "Now, I will of course follow my promise, but you have to promise me this," Harry snapped to attention, "Be there for her. Not necessarily the Hermione Granger you remember, but the one that is on that bed right now. Can you do that?"
Harry gave a sad smile, "Poppy, even without... last summer, I swore I would always be there when she needs me. This..." Harry trailed off, "I messed up. I got distracted, didn't pay attention to details... I made it my duty to keep her safe. And I messed up."
Poppy sighed, knowing that nothing she could say will relive her youngest friends sorrow. Glancing back to the ward, she knew who could. "Well then." she got up and placed several potion vials on a tray, "I need to catch up on the paperwork backed up because of this mess." She held the tray to Harry, "Why don't you take these to her. They'll help her magic and body recover faster."
Poppy smiled as she watched Harry walk to the only occupied bed in the infirmary. Before starting on her not at all backed up work she turned on the specialized wards that will ensure the two teens are not disturbed.
Harry didn't say anything as he walked over to Hermione's bed and placed down the tray of potions. After sitting down on the bed he finally decided on what to say. "How are you?" In retrospect, not the best opener he could have made.
"Like someone took my intestines and squeezed them till there was nothing left." Hermione glanced to the tray Harry had brought.
"That's probably because the potion neutralisers given to you pretty much did just that." He gave a mirthless chuckle before catching Hermione's glance. "Oh, those are to help you recover faster; an intestine-healing one, muscle and nerve regenerators, a pain relief, that you should probably take now, and a dreamless-sleep one, since the regenerators work better while asleep." Harry turned back to Hermione after counting off the potions Poppy gave him to her looking at him in shock. "What?"
Hermione tried several times before finding her voice "Harry, how did you recognize those potions? I mean, I know you have been here quite a few times, but..."
Harry chuckled as he shook his head, 'Yeah, she's back.' "Well, I have spent a lot of time this last week studying potions of all kinds. Both because Snape assigned me a small mountain of 'homework' after the first task, never mind that as a Champion it was full within my right to take time off classes to prepare," he mumbled to himself, "and because I was sure that there were potions affecting your behaviour." the small amount of mirth that had appeared drained from Harry's face. "Hermione... I'm sorry, I..."
Hermione cut him off, "Harry! You have nothing to be sorry about. Madam Pomfrey told me how you figured it out, how you stopped that... bastard, how you... saved me." she finished in a much shyer voice.
Harry sighed, "But that is just the thing, it should have never gone on for this long! I should have been paying attention, I should have noticed it sooner, I should have..." he trailed off as Hermione hugged him.
"Harry, calm down. I should have noticed that something was wrong myself. I didn't. Well, I did, but by then it was far too late for me to actually do anything." Hermione shook her head, "My point is, you did figure it out. You did stop him and you did save me. There is nothing for you to be sorry about, after all, it's not like protecting me is your job."
'If only you knew... Damn you Dumbledore!' Harry buried his anger deep within his mind before starting to speak, "I know that but..." he trailed off as Hermione winced in pain as he moved out of her hug. "Right," he gestured with his right hand and summoned the vial of pain relief potion to it, "drink this." he held it to her.
"Harry, did you just?" Hermione looked between the vial, the tray and Harry's face, "That was wandless magic, how did you..."
"Hermione." Harry allowed a small amount of forcefulness into his voice, "you need to recover. I promise I will explain everything," he pushed the vial towards her lips, "but right now all that is important is that you get back on your feet as soon as possible."
As Hermione drank the potion, its effects almost instantly numbing the pain, she could barely hold back the exited shiver caused by the presence Harry gave off just then. The power and confidence, the minute change in his stance and voice, the look on his face, all of it screamed to a part of her that she had ignored ever since discovering it over a year ago. This was the Harry Potter she had fallen in love with, the wizard she had dreamt of oh so many times, the man she wanted to take her, to u... Hermione shut the thought back into its hole before it could go any further.
"Good." Harry nodded, his voice losing some of its edge, "I can't tell you everything right now, or rather here, but here's what I can I think you should know." Harry sat himself more comfortably, not knowing the thoughts he was causing in his favourite bookworm. "Snuffles did a stupid and visited me last summer."
"He what?" Hermione couldn't keep in her shock.
"Yeah. At least Moony was there with him." Harry smiled as he remembered how this all started.
Harry was still angry as he left 9¾. Angry at Peter Pettigrew for what he did. Angry at Snape for lying about Sirius. Angry at Fudge for believing the bat. Angry at Dumbledore for sitting back and letting it all happen. He had been that close, and now he was on his way back to his... loving relatives for another summer of torture. It had not been that bad after he came back from his first year, until Dobby ruined it of course. The Dursleys now knew that Harry couldn't use magic on them and had no reason to believe... that anybody... cared...
Harry smirked as a plan took form in his mind. After all, his godfather was innocent... but his relatives didn't need to know that. "Hello Uncle." Harry smiled as he approached Vernon, "Shall we get going?" he pulled his trunk to the back of the car. Vernon Dursley was too surprised at the boy's behaviour to even start being angry.
As they approached Privet Drive Harry begun his plan, "You know Uncle, I discovered something this year." he didn't give a chance for the 'man' to interrupt him. "Turns out you and Aunt Petunia were actually right. My parents must have been the worst kind of people." he saw the confusion take hold on the walrus-impersonator's face. "I met two of their best friends this year. My godfather and honorary uncle actually." he smiled, "Let me tell you about them."
He once more didn't give Vernon any time to react, "My honorary uncle was a teacher this year, a really good one actually, he knew so much about dark creatures. Then again, I suppose it takes one to know one." Harry held back the smirk as Vernon's eyes widened in surprise. "Oh, right; he's a werewolf, you know, the turn into a beast at full moon, run around eating helpless muggles, kind." Harry sent a silent apology to Remus, even as Vernon visibly paled.
"Of course it makes perfect sense that my parents would be friends with him, given who their best friend and my godfather is. The oldest son of a family whose very name is synonymous with evil and are known for being the masters of the darkest of magics... what was it he told me, 'if a form of dark magic isn't in our library, it doesn't exist'." At that point Vernon was too worried to actually scold the boy for using the m word.
"When he found out I might be in trouble he broke out of Azkaban, the inescapable wizarding prison guarded by soul-eating demons, visited me in school a couple of times and even had a warm reunion with my uncle, they discussed the finer methods of killing a man he had failed to blow up before being thrown into prison."
Harry certainly enjoyed the almost-white face of Vernon in the mirror, "And even when our minister captured him and locked him in a tower, he got out before the soul-eating demons could kill him." Harry braced himself before continuing, this was it, "He told me he had a few thing to deal with beforehand, but he promised to visit me as soon as he could. Since he already knew where I live, I had no need to give him our address..."
Vernon barely maintained control over the car when hearing that. "He... he what..." his voice was barely above a whisper.
"Yeah." Harry nodded, "He found out where I live last summer, sometime around when aunt Marge was visiting. I suppose she's kind of lucky, my godfather would have taken poorly over anyone insulting his friends." Harry openly smirked, "Oh, almost forgot. He also promised to teach me some magic he knew, that very few of my kind actually use."
Harry hadn't technically lied, he might have omitted some... details but the whole point of this was to scare his relatives, and Harry knew that no matter what he would tell his (not favoured) Uncle, what was going through his mind right now was worse. "He actually gave me some stuff to read up on before he gets here, so I was thinking I could just spend the time in my room, make sure that when he comes over I understand what he is talking about and doesn't have to... demonstrate." Okay, that was a bit of a lie, but if it got him what he wanted...
"Sounds..." Vernon audibly gulped, "Sounds fine to me boy."
By then they had arrived and Harry retrieved his trunk before proceeding to his room. Before he entered the house Harry turned before the whale-man, "Ah, almost forgot! You need to know their names, to know to let them in. Remus Lupin, my awesome werewolf uncle and Sirius Black, my equally awesome escaped convict godfather." Leaving the now-ready-to-faint man behind Harry dragged his trunk to his room and fell into his bed; with any luck the Dursleys will be too scared of Sirius dropping in on them to actually do anything. He frowned as he thought on it, he was Harry Potter after all, his luck didn't work that way.
"And?" Hermione pushed for more when Harry stopped in his story.
The green-eyed warlock smiled, "And the rest will have to wait. It's almost curfew and you need to rest." Despite her half-hearted grumbling Hermione drank the potions Harry gave her and settled down for sleep. As Harry rose to return the tray and empty vials to Poppy he kissed her on the forehead and whispered to her sleeping form, "Love you, Hermione."
He never heard her mumbled response.
A/N Next time, red-heads and...
Debts
