Loyalty (Is Overrated)
And more shit goes down~! In fact, we have discoveries, Kiku is *not* a happy camper, Emil and Sadiq have a discussion, and we see what the bad guys are up to! Well, Katyusha. Not the same. But since she's showing up she may as well do the disclaimer.
Katyusha: Oh! Well, BirdSpell does not own Hetalia.
Thank you, someone polite. Also, my mind is now officially lost in the gutter. Not that I'm complaining, of course.
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"How can I know who I am until I find out who I was?"
-Jack Frost
Rise of the Guardians
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He wanted to cry. He was too young for this, and he was scared. But the older boy held him close and murmured comfortingly to him and he knew he was safe.
But suddenly the older boy was gone and there was noise and screaming and the sunlight wasn't as comforting as it had been before. And then the sound of breaking bones and tearing flesh and still more screaming and he was picked up again.
This man wasn't comforting. He was cold and harsh, like winter. He smiled and whispered to the boy that everything would be fine now, that he'd grow up safe, but the child was no fool and he knew it wasn't true, no matter what the man thought. He struggled and screamed for comfort of the older boy-
And then he was somewhere else, and a woman picked him up in her arms and whispered to him "I'll take care of you, shh, don't cry…" And he believed her, because her voice was soft and comforting and warm and he knew she could be trusted, so he simply snuggled against her and listened.
"I'm sorry, little prince. One day I'll tell you the truth, I promise… But for now, just forget."
And he did.
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Kiku pressed his hands to his head as he crumpled to his knees by the wall, trembling. Katyusha…
"I'm… I'm…"
"Kiku? Are you alright? Did it work?"
Kiku looked up, trying to ignore the burn of tears in his eyes and sting of grief as he remembered what had been sacrificed for him and he'd thrown it all away, he'd become a monster-
But there was no denying it.
"I'm the Prince of Aetsaias…"
"What~aru?"
He stood, slowly, legs shaking as they supported his weight. "I'm the Prince of Aetsaias. Me. That bastard kidnapped me! He- Oh that fucker."
"Kiku, what happened? Oh, fuck-" Yao leapt forward, wrapping his arms tightly around Kiku's shoulders. "I'm so sorry… If I'd known you were alive, I would have-"
Kiku hesitantly returned the embrace. "Yao- Oh. That was you, wasn't it? The lord who tried to save me… Oh. Oh, gods. Your brother- Oh gods, I- It's all my fault, I'm-"
"No, Kiku," Yao interrupted. "Don't blame yourself. Xiao- Xiao made his choice, and gods know I miss him, but it was his choice to make. You didn't ask him to stay and help me, or to sacrifice himself. But… gods, I thought you were dead. For sixteen years, I thought you were dead… What happened to you? What did Ivan do to you?"
"I was…" Kiku hesitated. Could he really tell Yao the truth? No matter who he was, if the elder Aetsaian knew what he'd done… "I was a servant. I suppose while I thought I was Siaran I was safe…" That was true enough, right? "I'm not sure why he sent me here…" That wasn't entirely false either. Why would Ivan send him to a place where one of the only people who could help him remember lived? Unless Ivan didn't know who Yao was…
"That bastard!" Yao muttered. "He'll die for this, I swear-"
"Yao, you can't! If you go after him you'll die, and probably start a war! It's not worth it! Not for me!"
The man's eyes softened and he knelt, pulling Kiku down with him. "No, Kiku. It is worth it. Because I already failed you once… How much do you remember?"
"Not much. I was only two; you can't expect me to remember a huge amount… Were we close, before?"
Yao absently pulled something out of his pocket, fiddling with it. "You could say that~aru. Here. I was supposed to give you this on your eighteenth birthday; it's a bit late, but…"
He handed Kiku a delicate gold band with a diamond embedded in a swirl of silver. The boy blinked, confused. "Is this a wedding ring?"
"Close. It's an engagement ring~aru."
Oh, was that all- "An engagement ring?! Since when are we engaged?!"
"This would have been far easier if you'd grown up in Aetsaias," Yao sighed. "We were engaged… about three weeks after you were born, I think~aru. Arranged marriage and all that…"
Kiku frowned. Opened his mouth. Closed it again. "…Hang on, we just happened to meet?"
"Um, yes~aru."
Kiku burst out laughing. "We just… happened to meet here! Oh gods, that is amazing!" He slid the ring onto his finger, admiring the way it caught the light. "Do you have one too?"
"Mmhmm." Yao held out a hand, revealing an identical ring. "Nice, aren't they? Rumor had it that they were gifts from the Sun and Moon."
"Really?" Kiku looked at the ring. "Sun and Moon, huh…" The narrow band seemed to spark even brighter. "Odd…"
"What is~aru?"
Didn't he see…? "Oh, nothing. Well, actually, everything. I mean, we're engaged, Prince Emil has vanished, according to Antonio and Lovino, and I'm Prince of Aetsaias- Wait." His eyes widened in a way that was probably most amusing. "If I'm the Prince of Aetsaias… and the Queen is dead… does that mean…?"
Yao blinked. "What- oh. Oh. Well, it would appear so~aru."
Kiku gazed up at him imploringly. "Please tell me I'm not an only child. Please, please tell me I've got an older sibling, oh, please, Yao…"
But the lord shook his head. "Sorry, Kiku~aru… It's just you."
Oh, no. Oh no no nononono!
"Just… me?"
Oh gods no. "You mean… I'm going to be King?!"
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"So," Emil said absently, "exactly how much do you know about Kiku?"
"I know he's heir to the throne of Aetsaias. And I know he's engaged to Yao."
"He is? I didn't know that. But an Assassin King… I don't think I've ever heard of that happening before."
Sadiq shrugged. "It's in the cards. I'm actually next in line for the throne of Sideldemat. Third cousin or something. But all of this mess sounds like the plot of a bad romance novel."
Emil hummed, shifting his head to rest it on the older man's lap. What? It was comfortable. "What do we do about this?"
"About what?"
"Kiku. Us. I mean, my parents won't be happy with my lover being an Assassin…" He ignored Sadiq's surprise at the word 'lover' and continued. "And what should we do about Kiku and Yao? The way I see it, we could either put him on the throne or tear him down before he has a chance to be crowned. If you want to do the latter it'll have to be soon, as I imagine he and Yao have figured it out by now, but I'm leaning towards the former."
Sadiq shrugged again. "He seems like a fun kid… but he's interfering in my mission, so I don't know what I'm going to do."
Emil stood quickly, walking to the door. He glanced over his shoulder. "I'm going back to my room before people get suspicious. And, you know, you're going to have to pick a side sooner or later."
He stopped outside the door. "Well, I have to admit, I wasn't expecting that…
"This little trip to Dangeld is much more interesting than I expected it to be."
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Katyusha sighed.
Oh, Kiku… She knew he'd remembered. But that spell had blocked his memory for good reason! So that he'd believe this was the only life he could possibly have had. It hurt him, she knew, but it was better than knowing he could have been saved, right? Surely it was better to believe there had never been hope than to know there had been once, but now there was none.
She was worried for him. But Kiku was strong, so he'd be alright; as long as Ivan didn't go after him directly, that was. And she didn't have to tell the truth, right? As much as it hurt to lie to her brother, it was better than the alternative… And it wasn't like Kiku had regained everything, so she could keep it hidden a little longer.
But on the other hand, without the remaining knowledge, what could Kiku do?
Katyusha went to her desk and pulled out some parchment and a pen. At least she could give him a hint.
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Back… forth… back… forth…
Yao couldn't help but tug Kiku down to sit beside him on the bed. "Stop pacing! Just relax~aru!"
Kiku tensed for a second, then calmed just as quickly, sighing. "I can't! I'm going to be King of Aetsaias, Yao! I haven't even been there in sixteen years!" He swallowed hard, breath shuddering in his throat. "I can't be a King, Yao! I can't do it! I'm… I'm just a kid! I don't know the first thing about running a kingdom or-"
Yao gently rested a finger against his fiancé's—and that was weird to think about—lips. "If anyone can do it, you can. I have faith in you." Kiku shook his head silently, eyes glittering with unshed tears. "I'm right here, Kiku~aru. If you ever need help, you can just ask me; or Alfred, Matthew, Francis, Antonio… Hell, I bet even Lovino and Emil would help if you ask. You don't have to do this alone… my little prince." The boy started visibly at the old nickname. Yao chuckled. "Now then, if we're going to present you to the court, you're going to have to look your best. You do have a bath in here, right?"
Kiku nodded, going to stand. Yao simply tugged him back down with a laugh. "Yao, wh-what-"
"Well, I need a bath too~aru."
The prince flushed bright red. "Y-you mean- We should bathe together?!"
Yao hummed affirmatively, scooping the boy into his arms bridal style. "Come on, Kiku. Please~aru?" He pressed a kiss to the boy's cheek. Kiku sighed.
"O-okay, fine."
Yao grinned, placing his lovely fiancé back on the bed. "Wait here! I'll be back in a second~aru!"
He ran into the bathroom and set the warm water that had been placed there that morning to run, filling the bath as quick as he could. Yao then darted back into the main room, locked the door so no one could come in at the wrong time, and ran to the bed again, lifting Kiku into his arms and bringing him back to the bathroom, shutting the door behind them. He rested the boy lightly on the edge of the bath. Kiku blushed as the elder quickly stripped and slid into the water, gesturing encouragingly.
The boy stared at him. Yao rolled his eyes and turned away, forcing himself not to look as he heard the sound of rustling fabric. Kiku was so shy… It was adorable~! After a second, the prince slid into the water, humming happily at the warmth. Yao slid closer, pretending not to hear the boy squeak as he felt arms curve around his narrow waist.
Yao chuckled, pressing a light kiss against Kiku's neck. The boy whined, shifting away from him. "Yao… not now…"
"Hush," Yao hummed cheerily. "We won't have time to do anything once we've presented you to the others, so we have to do it now~aru."
"B-but-" Kiku was cut off by a sharp whimper as the elder bit down gently. "But, Yao-"
The lord pretended not to notice, allowing his lips and tongue to slide over the scars around his prince's neck. The boy froze, a faint almost-sob escaping his lips. "Y-Yao- D-don't-" When the man ignored him, he pushed weakly at the arms around his waist. "Stop it!" He nearly screamed the words, and Yao pulled away.
The boy was pale and shaking, eyes wide and far too bright. One hand rose to hover uncertainly by his chest, as though to push away any further advances. Tears were leaking silently down his too-white cheeks, though he didn't seem to notice. He sobbed, weakly, brokenly. "D-don't- Please, don't- I can't- I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry, just- please-"
Yao stared at him in shock. Kiku's eyes were distant, burning with a desperate terror that left him unable to do anything but mutter softly under his breath, anguished apologies and denials. The elder carefully reached out a hand, like approaching a frightened animal, and brushed it lightly through the boy's hair. He started, pulling away. "It's okay, Kiku… It's okay~aru… I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to. Never~aru. Just… look at me, okay?"
Kiku blinked, and his eyes focused on Yao's. He leapt forward and buried his head against the elder's neck, racking sobs shaking his slender frame. Yao wrapped his arms around the boy, careful to avoid the scars, holding him close. "Shh… Shhh… You're alright. You're safe~aru. You're safe…" He gently lifted the boy from the water, wrapping a towel around them both and kneeling on the stone floor, adjusting Kiku to rest comfortably in his lap.
The prince just stayed there for a minute, crying against Yao's neck. And the man did his best to comfort the boy. "I'm sorry~aru," he murmured, stroking Kiku's black hair. "I'm so sorry…"
Eventually, the prince pulled away, sniffling and wiping at his eyes. Yao brushed a hand across his cheek and stood, grabbing their clothes from the floor and passing Kiku his. The boy smiled faintly and began getting dressed, Yao doing the same. He turned to look at his fiancé. "Kiku, when you were with Ivan…" He hesitated. Kiku looked up at him uncertainly. "Did he rape you~aru?"
The boy looked away. "I-it doesn't matter-"
"Yes it does~aru." Yao knelt beside him. "Please, Kiku. Tell me~aru. Did he rape you?"
Kiku didn't meet his eyes. "Yes," he whispered. "S-sometimes."
Yao's eyes narrowed. He'd expected it, but… to hear it… "That bastard~aru! That's it, he's *dead*!"
"Y-Yao, don't! I-it doesn't matter! Really, you don't have to-"
The older man shook his head. "Of course it matters~aru! He hurt you, and he's going to pay for it, even if I have to fight through an army to get to him!" Kiku stared up at him, shocked, and Yao's gaze softened. He gently shifted the boy back onto his lap. "I will do anything to keep you safe and happy~aru. No matter what the cost is. I love you, Kiku."
The boy's eyes widened, and he buried his face in Yao's chest. "Love you too."
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Aw, babies. Aren't they cute?
Kiku: I hate you so much, you know that?
You know you love me. Anyways, that was really hard to write, so review, please? I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE I LOOK AT THE STATS FOR THIS STORY.
Also, what do you guys think of me doing a Halloween thing? It shouldn't interfere with this, since it'll just be a oneshot.
See ya~!
-Bird
