A/N: Thank you guys for the support this story has gotten over the years. I apologize that it has been so long it getting this out to you, but I hope you enjoy the final chapter of, Layers of Ice.
"Cait? Caitlin? Hey, are you okay?"
Caitlin woke up to find herself laying on a surprisingly comfortable brown leather couch in a strange house. The sunshine was cascading in through the small dusty window on her left. There was a blanket draped over her as if someone had tucked her in, with a purple suede pillow behind her head. She went to move and was immediately overcome with an intense ringing in her ears and a mind-splitting headache.
"Hey, hey, hey, Cait, take it easy!"
Caitlin looked up past the coffee table next to the couch and… Barry? What in the world is he doing here? Didn't I like just try to kill him? Barry smiled widely and moved across the room to sit on the couch beside her.
"Barry? What is going on? Where am I? I thought I was on some street in the cold." Caitlin said, confusion in her eyes and slight fear in her voice. When Caitlin said 'cold', she noticed suddenly that that chill she had become so accustomed to in recent, was mysteriously gone. Was it because of something Barry did? What is going on? The last thing I remember is… kissing him. I straddled him, and kissed him. But wait, oh think Caitlin! Think! Something doesn't seem right. I remember enjoying it and wanting him to know just how much I wanted him! How much he meant to me. How much he turned my life around, and gave me a new purpose. How I somehow fell in love with my best friend. How I never wanted anyone to love him but me.
Barry's voice pulled Caitlin out of her deep thoughts.
"Cait, we were fighting against Savitar and he knocked you out! I took you back to my place to let you rest, but not after giving Savitar a lightning rod throw and a super speed punch!" Caitlin looked at the gleam in his eyes. Those freaking green eyes. Those eyes that always makes me fall in love with him over and over again. Still, there is something not right with this…
"And, I was hoping we could also finish what we started earlier." Barry said suggestively as he waggled his eyebrows at her.
"Finish what we started? Barry what are you-"
Caitlin was cut off as Barry closed the distance between them and Caitlin, while still confused, let herself go for only a moment, and realized that this for whatever reason felt so real! His hair was just as soft as she had imagined it to be as she entangled her fingers in his brown locks. She made a mental note to ask him what kind of shampoo he uses. This wasn't Hannibal Bates. This was Barry. I'm finally getting everything I have ever wanted! This is Barry, I'm making out with him, for REAL! Caitlin sat up slowly as Barry helped her, being careful not to make her head hurt too much.
"When do you think she'll wake up?"
Caitlin pulled away from Barry rapidly, making her head start to spin again.
"Barr, did you hear that?" Caitlin asked, confused as all get out.
"Cait, the only thing I can hear is my heart beating in my ears because I love you so much. I've been in love with you since Snart and Rory kidnapped you. I thought I was going to lose you forever, but I didn't! You're here with me." Barry said, reassuringly.
For the moment that seemed to satisfy Caitlin, and she resumed her fantasy coming true. Barry helped her stand up and his pure green eyes burned into her soul and made her ache so deeply with longing that Caitlin just couldn't take it anymore!
"Why do you have to be so amazing? Now get your butt over here and kiss me right now Mr. Allen."
"As you wish, Doctor Snow." Barry said, mimicking Wesley from the Princess Bride, and making Caitlin giggle with delight. Barry stared into her eyes and caressed her face softly and pressed his warm lips to hers. Caitlin smiled into the kiss and poured into it all those years of pent up sexual tension and frustration, deepening the kiss without even trying. The flood gates were opened, there was no going back now. For the first time, she was happy. She was warm and happy. Barry grabbed the small of her back to pull her closer to him pushing her gently back on the couch. He pulled away slightly and moved his attention to her body, peppering hot, burning kisses down her neck and on her collarbone, sucking in ever so slightly making her inhale sharply. His usually light green eyes were a much darker shade, full of love and desire. This is what Caitlin wanted more than anything in the whole world. He went to slowly lift his shirt over his head to reveal his tantalizingly sexy lightning-ified abs. This was something Caitlin had seen many times while patching him up, but never in this context. She liked to feel his warmth when sewing him up, lingering occasionally on the skin that she knew she could never touch other than giving him stitches. Never in her life did Caitlin Snow think that this would be happening, yet here she is. Caitlin's heart began pounding more rapidly than before, it was as if there was little person banging on the walls of her heart screaming, trying to desperately escape and leap out of her chest. Barry began to tug at the hem of her oversized sweater.
"Oh Barry, let me help you with that." Caitlin pulled away from Barry and seductively lifted her dark blue sweater off of her pale shoulders. She straddled him on the couch and watched as he quickly became slack-jawed, and saw his eyes turn another shade of dark green as he relished in the sight of her porcelain figure.
"Cait, you- you're- I." Barry couldn't form words as he stared up at every scar, every blemish, every beautiful mark on her body that made her so freaking perfect. She laughed loudly as Barry tried to keep his composure.
"I'm- I- I'm what Barry?" she said teasingly and between each word she planted a kiss on each freckle on his chest. Barry started to buzz ever so slightly with pleasure as Caitlin kissed each freckle one by one, oh so painfully slow, maintaining eye contact the whole time. He honestly tried to answer Caitlin's question but every time he tried to form words, the feeling of her on top of him, roaming his body with her hands, the feeling of her lips on his chest, just the feeling of Cait in general made the words get caught in his throat and send a delightful shiver down his spine.
"Cait- D-don't stop" Barry moaned as she trailed up his body and onto his neck, and whispered her hot breath into his ear,
"I need you." That was it for Barry as he moved to kiss her again. They were pulsing with so much desire and love for one another when Caitlin heard it again.
"Dude, she tried to kill you."
The voice was back. Caitlin pulled back abruptly, leaving a comically unsatisfied Barry in her wake. Barry has to hear that, how can he not hear that?
"Barry. How can you not hear that voice? It's as clear as day, and it sounds like it's coming from the front door!" Caitlin remarked. Barry's eyes filled up with concern as Caitlin moved towards the door to look outside and see who was speaking.
"Cait, do not go out that door! Come back to me, I need you." Barry warned, panting as he was out of breath from becoming undone by Caitlin.
"I don't think she is going to come back guys."
Caitlin whipped around, "Barry, the voice is literally right on the other side of the door! Did you not hear that? I'll be right back, I'm just going to check it out." Caitlin turned the doorknob and opened the door to reveal nothing but black. Black and voices. She turned around, "Barry?"
But Barry was gone. Instead the ringing in her ears suddenly amplified and the cold that she thought she had gotten rid of had suddenly frozen her body to the core. She felt this intense brokenness and rage that she had never felt before. The ice was freezing her, she kept hearing voices of people she thought she could recognize.
"Killer Frost turned her into a monster."
When she heard the word monster, it was as if everything clicked and Caitlin woke up with a small, nearly inaudible gasp, remembering everything so vividly. The cold kiss she had shared with Barry as she tried to murder him in well, cold blood, heh heh. She remembered how Barry told her that he selfishly tried to alter time to get his parents back, turning her into Killer Frost and killing Dante and changing little Sara Diggle into a John Diggle Jr. C'mon Caity, you weren't really fooled by that crap, were you? Killer Frost! Give me control of my body, I'm angry, but we don't have to kill people! Oh sweetie, my name is Killer Frost after all. I'm gonna do what I do best. Kill. Also, come on, in that ridiculous love fest dream of yours, it was Barry you were fantasizing about? Ugh, it was disgusting. Oh well, time to take a back seat Caity, let's see how I can destroy all of your relationships and their lives while I'm at it!
Caitlin stood up from the pipeline cell she was in to see that all of Team Flash was staring at her with pity and sadness.
"Whew! I guess I just needed a little sleep. Thanks guys!" she said in her best Caitlin Snow fashion. She watched as each face remained unconvinced.
"C'mon guys, you can let me out, I promise I won't hurt anyone." She scanned the room, still they were not buying her act. She sighed to herself.
"I guess you guys are smarter than I thought." She turned her attention to Cisco, "That was some blast there Vibe-boy, it's kinda hurt a little."
"I didn't want to hurt you, Caitlin." Cisco said with remorse in his voice and pain behind his eyes. Oh gosh Caity, seriously? This is pitiful. 'I didn't want to hurt you' bull-crap. Cait, can't you see that everyone here hates you? I mean come on, you're in love with the Flash and he is in love with another woman, Cisco tried to kill you, and now because of your actions, Joe will never look at you the same way again. I'm doing you a favor by bringing this honest, sexy killer side out of you.
"You're pathetic." She may not have taken a literal ice dagger through Cisco's heart, but Cisco was shattered hearing that come from a girl he considered a sister. Barry tried to change the subject.
"Alchemy can't help you. But we can. We will, I promise." Barry seemed determined. His eyes searched hers, trying to find the fragments of Caitlin he knew to still be in there. Promise? He promises?! What does he know about promises?! He broke every promise that ever counted! There you go, release your anger! Give into the rage. I promise it will help you feel better.
"Like you promised Eddie?" Any shred of hope Barry had was gone from his eyes. He looked defeated and Caitlin loved it. "And like you promised Ronnie? I mean c'mon, you didn't have to let him fly into that blackhole. He DIED Barry. And I will never get him back this time. I buried him once, and you forced me to bury him again." Barry couldn't even bring himself to look her in the eyes. "Ya know, for a hero Flash? You sure do let a lot of people around you die." Every word she uttered, although so painfully truthful, was a piece of everyone's heart shattering, Barry's the most.
"This isn't you talking, it's the powers." Barry still couldn't meet her eye level. Caitlin scoffed, anger growing by the minute.
"Are you trying to convince yourself? Because that's sure as heck what it sounds like."
"They're messing with your mind, you're sick." Barry, still seemed as if he was avoiding the truth and Killer Frost was right, he was trying to convince himself.
"Sick? No, no, no, when you're sick, you're treatable. But me Barry? Me? I'm broken." She said with a firm whisper. Somehow Barry knew that was Caitlin talking, His Caitlin, talking this way. He knew he had hurt her, but never realized just how deep this scar went.
"But honestly Barry, why do you even care? You've got Iris. The woman of your dreams, the girl you've loved since forever. You got your happy ending Barry, everyone else be damned." She watched as Iris looked away from Caitlin's icy gaze.
"Listen we all know that you can't help me, so you might as well let me go. And I promise, which means something I won't break Barry, that I will leave you all to your sad, miserable little lives." Caitlin attempted at a compromise. But Barry for some reason, refused to bargain.
"No. We aren't abandoning you." He said somberly, resolved in his voice.
"YOU DID THIS TO ME!" Caitlin yelled out with raw emotion. She was tired of the broken promises, tired of being used. She just wanted to be free. She watched as the people in the room wince at her words. There you go. Don't you feel better? On that note, Barry couldn't take it anymore and closed the pipeline gate. She had succeeded in her goal of making him feel even the slightest glimpse of the pain she felt.
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Hours went by as Caitlin sat in the pipeline, for the first time realizing just what the other metas they put in here feel like. Trapped. Alone. Forgotten. She let ice come to her fingertips and form a ball. Tossing it up and down until she missed, and it shattered. Shattered just like the real Caitlin's heart. She was upset. Caitlin wanted to cry but Killer Frost was resilient and refused to show any emotion except rage. She felt like an evil version of the Hulk, minus the super strength. Caity you are pathetic, pick yourself up. We don't need these idiots, we take care of ourselves. So I guess this is how Gollum/Smeagol felt. Two voices in his head warring against each other. Get a grip. The first chance we get, we are killing our way out of here. Just then Caitlin's ears perked up as she heard the sound of pipeline door being opened. She stood to her feet and let Killer Frost's persona wash over her, the stone-cold killer she is doomed to be forever. Caitlin felt Killer Frost's smirk begin to form as she saw none other than good old Barry Allen standing at the pipeline gate. This should be good. Let's see what speed boy has to say.
"We need your help, Caitlin." Barry said, actually looking her in the eyes this time. "Wally he's- um. He's out of the cocoon, but his biochemistry is all out of whack. He went AWOL" She could see the pain in his eyes. Delighting in his misery, she asked,
"Sooooo? That's my problem because?"
"When we find him, he's gonna need your help. He's going to need your medical expertise. Your experience with metas. He needs Caitlin Snow, MD." Caitlin smirked. Of course, another thing he wants to use me for. Forget helping me stop this bloodlust and get rid of these powers, but ohhh Wally needs help, so yes let me drop everything and help you Barry Allen.
Caitlin said, oozing confidence and defiant as ever, "So, you came over to try and talk some sense into me?" She scoffed, knowing there was no way that Barry would convince her. Her hate was stronger than her love at this point. She was too angry. After all, she did vow to kill him, and kill her way out of here if she needed to.
"No." Barry said as he moved toward the gate. No? What is his play here? To force me? What an idiot. "I came to let you go." He opened the gate. Caitlin looked around, stunned that he would actually be this stupid to release her. She stopped leaning against the wall and stood straight up, hesitating at first, still trying to analyze what this play was. There has to be a catch. No way he's just gonna let me go. She walked towards him with confidence.
"For a smart guy, that was a really dumb move." Caitlin said, that smirk still on her face.
"Like I said, you're free to go." Barry said. Caitlin scanned his face and eyes for any sign of deceit, as Barry consistently wore his heart on his sleeve. There was none. She always had been pretty good at reading him. Heck, she stared at him enough to know when he was lying. Barry's face remained somber and resolved, two emotions she wasn't expecting from him right now. She expected pain, anger, deceit, anything. It just wasn't there.
"Okay speedster, what's the catch?" Caitlin asked, ready for anything. Barry's face remained unchanged.
"You have to kill me." He said without fear. She smiled at this, finally, finally getting her chance to kill that stupid, pain in the butt Barry Allen once and for all.
"Oh, you want to fight, Flash?" Caitlin taunted, preparing herself for a battle. Barry shook his head.
"No Cait, I'm not going to fight you. But if you want to leave this room? You're going to have to kill me." He said it with such resolve that made her feel powerful. This is my chance, and he isn't even going to fight back! Oh my gosh, I get to kill the Flash. I get to kill him once and for all and then I will be rid of him and all of these stupid people who "care" about me. None of them care. Nobody cares.
"Making it easy for me huh? Don't think I won't do it." Caitlin said confidently.
"Then do it." Barry's tone was careless, egging her on. He didn't seem to care that she was about to end his miserable life. She let ice form into her hand into a pointed dagger, raising it up to his chest she watched as Barry glanced at it, and back at her, directly into her eyes. The thing that made her hesitate was his lack of fear. There was no fear in his eyes at all. He gave her a half smile.
"What are you waiting for?" Caitlin looked at the dagger and back into Barry's eyes. What am I doing… This is Barry. I can't do this. Think of the pain. Focus on your anger. KILL HIM.
"Come on, what's the big deal, you claim you want to kill me so just do it. Live up to your name, Killer Frost. I want to see some killing." Barry's voice grew firmer. He called me Killer Frost. He's begging me to kill him, yet I can't. WHY AM I SO WEAK? HE'S OFFERING HIS HEAD ON A PLATTER, JUST LIKE I WANTED. YET I CAN'T KILL HIM. I can't do anything right. Not even living up to my name. "You want to be the villain? Then be the villain. This is what they do, they kill their friends because nothing matters to them anymore, right?" Barry firmly whispered, trying to convince her of the lie she had been telling herself all along.
"Right?" He grabbed the arm that had the dagger in it, yanking it closer to his heart. "Come on!" He was gripping her arm so tightly pushing it onto his body. All she had to do was push it in, and this would be over.
"Kill me, Caitlin."
He let those words come out of his mouth slowly, letting each one sink into her head one by one. He was gritting his teeth, staring her directly in her eyes with so much fire, demanding that she kill him. Caitlin hesitated again. It was as if every memory that her and Barry ever had together was flashing through her head all at once as she looked in his eyes. Him comforting her in the pipeline for the first time when she mourned Ronnie, Karaoke Night and letting him undress her and redress her, being there for him when Iris was with Eddie, or when he would come in complaining about Julian. When he rescued her from Zoom, stopping at nothing to get her back to him. All of those moments they would share a joke, or laugh at Cisco's expense, the moments they protected each other from harm. When she helped him put Grodd on the Gorilla planet, or any of the times she would patch him up after a fight. When he rescued her from Snart and Rory, the first time he was awake and they began to train him, she remembered words he said to her, all those years ago.
He was staring at her as she pushed some buttons on the scanners on his body.
"What?" She glanced up at him, more focused on her work than the boy she would soon come to love.
"Nothing, I just noticed you don't smile too much."
She remembered those words, because every time after that she was around him, she'd smile. She honestly couldn't help it. He just seemed to have that effect on her, it was uncontrollable.
All of these moments kept flashing through her head, and her eyes began to pool with tears.
"You can't do it. You can't because underneath all of that cold, you're still you." Caitlin's grip on the ice dagger loosened and she felt it drop from her hands. Her eyes flashed back to normal and she crumpled in Barry's arms. I guess my love ended up being stronger than my hate after all.
"Barry-" Her voice cracked as she gave him a hug with all of the strength she could muster.
"It's okay, I got you. You're safe. It's okay." Barry hugged her back so tightly as he finally had his Caitlin back. She was back, in his arms at last. She missed this. She missed his warmth. No matter what he did, she still loved him. He was still the man that she loved unconditionally, yeah he messed up, but he's human after all. He just wanted his parents back.
They stayed like that for a very long time, only pulling apart because they were both crying.
"Hey Cait, I think you need a tissue." She laughed out loud as he flashed out and back to grab her one.
"How is it that you always know how to make me smile?" Caitlin asked with a smile in her voice. Barry's face softened, and he grabbed her hands.
"Because Cait, I noticed you didn't smile when I first met you. From that moment I made it my goal to make you laugh every day, even at my own expense. You're my best friend, Caitlin. I-I love you." He whispered softly.
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Epilogue
As you might have guessed, they eventually stopped Savitar. Wally was okay, Cisco eventually forgave Barry, and Iris and Barry broke up. They moved on to the next big bad, and the next, and the next. However daunting the new villain was, they always had each other to help them get through the pain. He knew that she would never leave him no matter how hard things got, and the same was with she. They knew that life without each other would be simply unbearable. They eventually got married, and had a little Barry running around after a few years. They knew no matter what the challenges the road ahead of them had, they would face them.
Together.
