A/N: Because I'm a sucker for ObiKaka, and I want adorable Kakashi in the AU where Sakumo is alive. And an AU where Hokage has less paperworks.


The Cat is on the hunt.

The Hound runs.

The ANBU had another round of bets.


"Yo," Bear greets with a two-finger salute, landing on the branch without even disturbing any leaves despite his massive frame. "Guess who just join the bet?"

"Who?" Sparrow asks with a bored tone, admiring the gleam of her polished sword.

"White Fang and the Serpent."

Sparrow drops her sword. Mouse fumbles and falls off the branch. Tanuki let his drink fell to the ground.

"What?" they exclaim in unison.

"For real?" Tanuki squeaks.

Bear is radiating smugness and morbid amusement. "His own father is betting against him. Poor brat."

"Holy shit," Sparrow breathes. "White Fang? Really? He is betting for Cat?"

"Yep," Bear hums, overly happy to match the supposed stereotype of his job. "Poor Hound."

"Well, he had it coming," Tanuki snorts. "That smug brat."

"That, I have to agree."


"Grandpa?"

Tobirama looks up from his book, eyes crinkle with a loving gaze upon seeing one of his many grandsons as the young man skips over the patio to land near him at the koi pond. The young man gathers Tobirama into a hug and practically vibrates in happiness when the aged Uchiha Demon instinctively reaches out a hand to ruffle his bright golden hair.

Tobirama smiles indulgingly at the eager enthusiasm in the vibrant blue eyes.

"Skipping training, Minato?" he teases, watching in fond amusement when the young man flails and fumbles under his gaze.

"I'm taking a break!" Minato wails defensively, holding out a paper bag containing some takeaway from Tobirama's favourite restaurant. "I thought I could have my lunch with both of you," he says with a pout.

Tobirama couldn't help but muse over how similar Minato's behaviour is with Madara and Hashirama. They are all adorable dorks.

Yet, his husband dared to complain that their genius grandson took after Tobirama way too much.

Sure, the last heir of the near-extinct Namikaze clan might have taken after Tobirama in term of his interests towards jutsu and research, but his behaviour is definitely a learnt trait from Madara.

That, and also a tiny bit of scheming trait from his uncle.

Minato is such an impressionable child after all.

There is an actual ban, enforced by Madara himself, that forbade the three of them—by three, he meant his husband, Tobirama; their dear son, Orochimaru; and their beloved grandson, Minato—from locking themselves in the labs and geeking out on whatever trouble they planned to cook up with their genius brains.

One time. That one time they almost accidentally breed artificial bijuu and they had an actual ban to stop their genius.

"Go wake your Grand-dad," Tobirama smiles, closing the book in his hand and gingerly stands from his perch on the flat stone. "I'll set-up the table."

Matatabi's chakra has shielded both him and Madara from the worst disadvantages of ageing—allowing them to remain strong and powerful even when they have recently crossed the line of the three digits age—but sometimes his bones did ache, and his muscles grow weary even when he does nothing that would merit such ache and soreness.

On those days he experienced the brunt of his age, Tobirama enjoys his afternoon by curling up next to his husband, Matatabi's form curled around their tangled bodies, keeping them warm and safe as they slept the afternoon away.

Minato escorts Tobirama until they reach the house, holding the wrinkled hand in his own before the young man lets go in favour of skipping down the hallway to the living room, where Madara often spends his afternoon naps in. Matatabi trots in from whoever poor sods she just terrorizes (probably one of Hashirama's grandchildren, if the smugness radiating from her is any indicator) just in time as Madara walks in with a sleepy yawn.

Once they were seated, Minato takes the duty handing out the food to his elders, chatting happily about the last of his training days as the Hokage apprentice while his grandfathers listen with full attention, only occasionally interjecting his cheerful babble to ask questions or give their wise opinions. Matatabi curls on the future Hokage's lap, tails flicking absent-mindedly in a rhythmic motion that matches Minato's expressive hands.

"And the ANBU is having their bets again," Minato grins, arms moving about expressively.

Madara snorts. "What is it this time?"

Minato hesitates, as if just noticing with whom he just shares the Black Ops' casual silly shenanigans with. This is the Nidaime and his Shadow, the two men that trained the most terrifying set of ANBU in Konoha's history.

His hesitation is noticed, and he squeaks when both of his grandfathers narrow their eyes at him.

"Um," Minato says, scratching his neck nervously. "They are betting on the budding relationship of their comrades."

Madara rolls his eyes. "Children," he mutters, returning his gaze to his food.

"Who is the lucky people?" Tobirama hums absent-mindedly.

"Cat and Hound."

Minato braces himself for the outburst.

It never comes. Instead, Madara simply rolls his eyes again, while Tobirama hums happily under his breath.

"Wait…," the Hokage apprentice splutters, eyeing his grandfathers in disbelief. "You're okay with that?"

"It's about damn time," Madara grumbles. "I'm done with Obito's pining."

"I think it's adorable, though," Tobirama counters. "He takes after you. So adorably persistent."

"Pretty sure that is from his Uchiha side of the genetic, Nidaime-sama."

"Pretty sure it is not an Uchiha that braved through enemy lines to seek rumours about my corpse."

Madara splutters, flushes pink before he harrumphs and pointedly avoids the smug gaze of his husband. He mumbles something under his breath and even with Minato straining his hearing, the blonde could only pick up his own name in his grandfather's words.

"Um, can you please repeat that, Grand-dad?"

"I said…," Madara sighs, pinching his brows in what that seemed like an exasperation as he repeats his words, a little bit louder and clearer than earlier, "…keep me updated, Minato."

Tobirama hums contemplatively.

"Keep us updated," the former Nidaime corrects.

Minato wonders what kind of fate he just sealed on his former students.

(Who also happened to be his foster cousin and nephew.)

(Family relationship in Tobirama clan is a mess after too many adoptions happened. Don't even bother to look up their family tree.)

Minato makes a mental note to run to his favourite uncle for protection, should his grandfathers' interest in the ANBU's new entertainment would spark some mischievous vendetta from both the Cat and the Hound.

Obito and Kakashi are terrified of Orochimaru after all.


Obito is beyond pissed off.

You thought that being absorbed into ANBU at the age of fourteen—merely three years after his early graduation from the academy—would make Kakashi a somewhat intelligent person, but nooo, the brat is actually an idiot.

A socially inadept idiot.

One simply did not kiss and run.

What the hell, Bakashi?

Obito lands on a branch, tilting his porcelain mask up to reveal only his mouth so that he could drink his water. He has already spent the whole day looking for the silver-haired hound—in this vicious summer heat mind you—and now the effects of the heat have hit him and Obito grows reasonably tired. He stares at his bottle with a contemplative gaze and was just about to pour the cool water over his head to stave off the heat when the branch dips upon an additional weight right next to him.

"Yo."

Obito's lips curl to a scowl as he tips his head in acknowledgement.

"Shit-sui," he greets.

"Jerkbito," the brat greets back.

Obito pretends to not notice the way Shisui is curiously eyeing the edge of the vertical scar that is visible from behind Obito's tilted mask. The Cat ANBU resists a snort, remembering the hype his left eye has caused and the botched mission that gave him said eye.

It was his first S-ranked mission, and he ended up losing his left eye to the sword of an enemy, awakened the rinnegan in his right eye because Bakashi was being a suicidal idiot, and then inherited his great-grandfather's original eye from his great-granduncle because apparently the Uchiha Demon's sharingan is such a valued asset that is treated as a family heirloom, and one of Uchiha Izuna's last wishes before he died was to have his ruby eye to be returned to the bloodline of his brother.

Obito's grandfather is too old now and has refused the offer due to the waste it would be on him as he enjoyed his retirement age. Obito's mother has died during childbirth, thus leaving her only son as the heir of Uchiha Tobirama's bloodline from the Demon's eldest child.

Obito's grandaunts and granduncle have refused said offer too, using the same excuse as their eldest brother as they saw no point in inheriting such valued asset while they were in the age that the only thing they wanted to do was to rest at home and play with their grandchildren. Their own children, on the other hand, have awakened rinnegan just like Obito's mother, thus seeing no point in inheriting the valued sharingan too.

Considering that Obito is the eldest of Uchiha Tobirama's great-grandchildren and has recently lost one of his eyes, the discussion has led to an agreement that Izuna's wish would be passed on to Obito.

Tobirama Obito, whose grandfather is a son that came from Senju Madara's seeds and being artificially implanted in the womb of Uchiha Izuna's wife.

Obito has to give it to his great-granduncle for achieving such a high level of epic troll. Giving the coveted sharingan to the bloodline that paternally came from a Senju? Blasphemy! Everyone in the clan knew that the maternal side of Obito's grandfather came from a distant Uchiha that was not even close to the direct line of their ancestors.

Hooo boy, was that a fun inheritance discussion. The Uchiha's elders were beyond pissed.

It wasn't helping when Fugaku, the current Clan Head of the Uchiha, agreed to fulfil his grandfather's dying wish.

So Obito ended up with the coveted sharingan to replace the eye he has lost in that mission. Yippee.

Shisui is in the same situation as Obito too. Since his father was assassinated just like Obito's own father, Shisui is Kagami's direct heir, and due to whatever complicated bullshit politic the Uchiha elders have demanded early on the green years of Konoha, Kagami could not take his ruby eye to the grave. It has to be passed on to the next generation since its power is too fearsome and valuable to be allowed to disappear.

Therefore, it is an unspoken knowledge that when his grandfather finally kicked the bucket, Shisui would inherit the coveted ruby eye of the Uchiha Demon too.

Obito wonders at what point of time they all dutifully accepted that it is perfectly normal to treat someone's eyes as a family heirloom. This is definitely not normal. No wonder both of Obito and Shisui don't have many friends outside of their clan.

That, and the fact that Obito is entirely convinced that his younger cousin eats babies' souls as breakfast.

Shisui is one scary brat.

"I found your stray puppy," the scary brat hums, leering a playful gaze in his cousin's direction.

Obito rolls his eyes behind his mask.

"What the fuck do you want in exchange for that information, brat?"

"Awww~!" Shisui flashes his teeth in a shark-like grin, extending his hand to pat the ANBU tattoo on Obito's arm. "You know me too well, obi-chan."

Obito shudders.

Honest to Shodai-sama, this brat eats babies' souls as breakfast.

"Just name your price, brat," Obito grumbles, reaching out a hand to flick his fingers at Shisui's forehead, of which the boy smoothly evades. "I don't have all day."

"Introduce me to your cute new subordinate," Shisui demands, gesturing to Obito's mask as if that would make any sense of his request. "The small, cute one."

Obito weighs his option, wondering if he should sacrifice Itachi for his cause.

A second later he nods his agreement, selling Itachi's poor soul to his terrifying baby cousin for his own selfish needs.

"I'll arrange a meeting," he assures, wincing when Shisui practically beams in happiness. "Free up your training schedule and let me know."

Sorry, Itachi.

"Yess!" The brat cheers, leaning close to hug Obito before he flips off the branch with more flair than necessary, yelling his information to his older cousin. "Kakashi-san is hiding at one of the kennels in the Inuzuka's compound. The smallest one with a red roof and lots of pugs."

With that, he sunshin away, a wide happy grin is attached on his face.

Obito pulls his mask down.

The Cat is back on the hunt.


Kakashi knows that he has fucked up.

Fucked up. Terribly fucked up. If his grandmother doesn't murder him, then his granduncles would surely complete the honour. Ancient as they were, Uchiha Tobirama is still the legendary Nidaime of Konoha while Senju Madara is his loyal Shadow, taking over Lady Mito's role as the advisor and the Kage, maintaining the order in the darker depths of Konoha where ANBU is the first stage of the village's hidden darkness.

They are going to kill him, Kakashi just knows it.

Not to mention that his own father would be disappointed in him. And sage knows what his maybe future step-father, (who happens to be one of the many children Tobirama Jiro has adopted by the way) is going to do to him the moment this comes to their knowledge.

Oh, he also forgets that his former sensei—the future Yondaime Hokage, the last Namikaze—who is also, like his future step-father, is one of the many children Tobirama Jiro has adopted after that mass elimination of small talented clans.

Minato-sensei belongs to Tobirama clan's messed up chaotic family tree too, and is possibly holding the honorary rank as Obito's uncle.

Kakashi is royally fucked up. Dead. He is dead.

Why did he kiss Obito again?

Ah, because the older boy is temptingly hot. That's why.

Kakashi dumps the cold water onto his own head, ignoring the sulky huffs of the pugs when he returned their cooling pool all empty and lacking the precious cold water. Nope. He is not going to think about that. Nuh-uh. He already makes too much mess that one time he indulges in his raging teenage hormones.

Obito is his nephew for fuck's sake.

Kakashi's grandmother is cousins to Obito's great-grandfather. Hatake Sakuno is the cherished cousin from the maternal side of Uchiha Tobirama's family.

That would make Hatake Sakumo as cousins with Tobirama Jiro.

Tobirama Jiro is Obito's grandfather.

The end result of that chaotic family tree would dictate that Obito is practically Kakashi's blood nephew.

He kissed his own nephew.

Sage, he shoved his tongue down his own nephew's throat.

Kakashi pressed his face to Pakkun's chubby belly and screams.


"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

Obito buried his masked face into his palms upon hearing the muffled scream, wondering how the hell he has fallen for such an adorable idiot. They have been friends since little, arranged playmates by their silver-haired elders and Obito has always loved Kakashi. First as little brother that he does not have, then as close friends that annoy the hell out of him before that feeling grows to romantic love as he hits puberty.

Though, Obito does not expect for the cute little puppy that he used to tease throughout their childhood to make the first move, removing the mask that he used to conceal his beauty mark and pulled Obito down for a kiss.

It was a clumsy kiss—awkward and tentative but filled with innocent curiousity and want.

Kakashi has never been sent to seduction mission after all.

Things would have been all good if Kakashi didn't break the kiss and run the fuck away.

Seriously….

As expected, Kakashi scrambles for an escape the moment he sensed Obito's chakra, bursting to a sunshin before he could even properly get onto his feet.

Obito simply huffs and allows his right eye to do the work.

Kakashi is pulled straight into Obito's arms by the power of the rinnegan. Obito holds the younger teen flush to his chest, hooking his chin over Kakashi's shoulders as he waits for the squirming Hatake to calm down. By the time Kakashi finally accepts that there is no escaping the older boy, his ears are deep pink, and his body is significantly warmer than normal.

"It is bad manners to kiss and run, Bakashi," Obito breathes to Kakashi's ears, enjoying the little trembles of the shorter teen. "You'll leave your partner hanging."

Kakashi lets out a soft choked noise in his throat. "It's wrong," he whimpers, squirming away from Obito. "I'm your uncle!"

Obito blinks. Then, he tips his head and frowns.

"Bakashi, did you eat something from Orochi's lab again?" he then asks, because that is the only acceptable reasoning he could think of that may cause the Hound to come to that conclusion. "We're not even related, idiot."

Kakashi turns around with a glare.

"Your great-grandfather and my grandmother are cousins," he growls, jabbing his finger to Obito's chest. "I'm literally named after Uchiha Tobirama's deceased little brother. This is wrong. We're related by blood."

Obito frowns deeper.

"But they're…not?" Obito is honestly considering taking Kakashi to the medic now. The idiot needs a brain check-up. "Like, I know that Great Grandpa is related to your grandma, but it hardly affects me because my grandfather is from Great Grand-dad's lineage. My paternal lineage is a Senju. The Uchiha side comes from Lady Reiko, and she is never related to any Hatake."

Kakashi gapes, brain stuttering to a stop.

"Like, it is very obvious," Obito rolls his eyes, gesturing to his short hair. "If I let my hair grows, I will be a carbon copy of Great Grand-dad back during his prime."

Kakashi is still mind-fucked, dark eyes widen, and his mask stretches to show his wide gaping.

"So you're not my nephew?"

"Uh, no?" Obito blurts out, mismatched purple and red eyes blink in adorable confusion. "Assuming I understand your logic, your nephew and niece would be my cousins, the annoying brats from Great Grandpa's lineage with Lady Touka as their Senju side."

Kakashi exhales in relief.

Even with his sharingan and rinnegan activated, Obito fails to instantly react when Kakashi reaches out his hands and tugs him down for yet another clumsy kiss.

It took the Tobirama a few seconds of a pleasant surprise to digest the sudden shift of events before Obito gleefully took charge, tilting Kakashi's face so that he could deepen the kiss, using all of his learnt skills as elite shinobi to invoke tiny whimpers and soft whines from the Hatake's heir. By the time Obito shifts to trail lazy kisses from the little mole below the trembling lips down to the bobbing throat, Kakashi is a flushed mess—cheeks deep pink and lips bruised and red with hot blood.

"Your family is messed up," the young Hatake murmurs in a sulky grumble, hands already pulling his mask up. "Real messed up. Your family tree is a nightmare to study."

Obito grins.

"They're messed up, yes. With all the adoptions and genetically engineered babies, our family tree is a chaos to study," he hums, reaching out two fingers and flicks them at Kakashi's forehead, his grin changes to a fond smile.

"But I wouldn't have them any other way."


OMAKE!

"Should we appoint anyone to organize our family tree?"

Madara snorts, not even shifting his gaze from the newspaper he is currently reading.

"Who do you hate to give them that job?" the former Shadow grumbles. "There is no need for that."

"But—"

"Every member of this clan is ours, Tobi. No matter the blood and their origin. Ours."

Tobirama gives him a loving gaze before he leans close for a quick kiss.

"You're right, dear."

They're ours.

(THE ACTUAL END)


A/N: For the sake of the story, let's not breach the horror of cousin twice removed and those shits okay. Hope you enjoy this story. Bye~!