Will called me later that day to make sure I was ok. It had been a week since the incident, and he was giving me time to heal. The next session was this weekend and I was told to pack a bag for two days for a surprise. The only thing I could imagine is that he wants to work on me staying overnight with someone for the weekend without being triggered. It was a big step, but I told Will I wanted him to push me. Reyna thought it was a great idea, telling me that a weekend away after such a bad panic attack was necessary. I made sure to pack both girl and boy clothes in case I changed gender overnight, I might still wear the panties just because I think Will likes them. Was that too much? Changing my wardrobe for a guy I'm going to be naked in front of. It's my first weekend with a lover and it's actually a doctor's appointment.

Getting to his apartment I found that he had also packed bags, were we going somewhere? Meeting me at the door of his building he had smile on his face, damn that smile.

"Will what's going on? I thought we were staying here this weekend?" bringing the bags down the steps I saw a cab pull up.

"We are going on a weekend break out of town, courtesy of a rather large Donor to my cause. I informed him that a Weekend away might be a good next step and he insisted he pay for it." He said with a wink.

"Are you telling me my dad is paying for a vacation?"

"Would that keep you from going, because I will lie to you."

"No, not at all."

"Then yes, your dad is sending us out of town to do some work in an unfamiliar environment. We need to see if you are triggered in other areas, since the thing at the bar happened we need to put you in outside stimulus." A cab pulled up and he started putting our bags in the trunk. Butterflies floated all around my stomach, wow a real vacation with the hottest man I have ever met. A man I trusted to touch me, that made me feel like he wanted to touch me.

After the cab ride and a relentless interrogation of where we were going we arrived at a private airport. I should have known my dad would send his plane. We weren't going to a bed and breakfast out of town, we were going out of state.

"The other two should already be on the plane."

"Who is coming with us?"

"My cousin and his girlfriend, I want to make sure you can do a double date with people. Its important. A family vacation type weekend. Things like these are important, interacting with people as if you were in a long-term relationship. These are thing you need to learn." Getting out of the cab he handed the bags to the Baggage loader. Taking my hand, he leads me to the plane. Sitting down in the Isle seat across from two other seats, I took in the familiar feel of my dad's plane. I grew up on this thing, it was a comfort. Cecil, the cousin from last week smiled at me. Apparently, his girlfriend was in the bathroom. Will was making sure I was comfortable when the bathroom door opened.

"Neeks!" Hazel screamed and ran into my arms. My sister! My wonderful beautiful sister that I haven't seen since Christmas was here!

"What are you doing here!"

"I am dating Cecil here. Dad sent me with the plane! Cecil told me everything, I have read the notes about your doc here. Seems like he is helping you?"

"Yeah, yeah he is." I looked at Will with tears in my eyes.

"Well looks like we are on a real family vacation huh?"

"Yeah, I guess we are. Where are we going?" at that she sat down across from me.

"Oh, big brother we are going to Vegas. Dad has it all set up for us." She smirked with a glint in her eyes.

Will grabbed my hand and interlaced our fingers as the Plane took off.

(time break)

We landed in Vegas a few hours later. A limo picked us up and drive us to the Palazzo Hotel to check into our rooms before dinner. Will and Cecil gave Hazel and I some time to catch up. We took what we needed for the night and delivered the bags to the rooms we were staying in. Hazel and I washed up in one room while the guys got ready in the other, after dinner this would be Will and I's room. After that it was a bit of a whirlwind. We had dinner at Tao, went dancing in Old Vegas, it was the first night out that I didn't feel like I could be attacked. I was having fun! Drinking champagne and large slushy drinks that had more alcohol than my body weight. It was wonderful.

Arriving back at our suite with just a slight stumble we found our way into the room. It was one hell of a room, a sunk in living area with a view of the strip, a king size bed with the most comfortable fabrics known to man, 15$ gummy bears that I was going to devour soon. Will began to strip as he made his way over to the bed. Damn he looked yummy. I pealed myself out of my sweat soaked shirt and pants and tackled him onto the bed. Two months and I was jumping into bed with someone, Doctor Solace was a miracle worker, so it seems. We were both a little drunk, but I feel my consent is as valid as his. I am not seeing double or getting the spins, I can consent damn it. That and he asked me a hundred times on the ride back. Kissing him we fell to our sides tangled in each other. Even tipsy Will was still calling out sudden movements and where his hand was going on my body, funny thing was…I didn't need it, not with him. Ok maybe I am drunker than I thought. Naked in seconds I could feel the burning trail of his lips down my body. The warmth of his mouth enveloped me as I threw my legs over his shoulders and pulling at his hair.

"Damn you feel so good Will, i…i…I want…" popping off me he kissed my inner thigh.

"Tell me what you want Nico. I'll do anything you want."

"Fuck me, please fuck me." That's when he froze, only for a second. Nodding he grabbed the lube and poured it over his fingers. Coming back up to face level with me he slid a lubed finger along my lower lip.

"Taste that." I licked my lips and the flavor of blueberry tingled my tongue. Heading back down I felt him gingerly circle my rim, my heart rate sped up. Panting under him I felt his tongue breach my hole. An electric shock jolted my body as I let him freely explore me. It was the first time I let him loose down there. I was clutching the sheets making the most ridiculous sounds that I never even knew I could make. Fuck this was good, sex was good. Then I felt the fingertip breach me, my eyes flew open at the sensation. I could feel my resolve about to crumble when this warm sensation filled my chest. In a streak of bravery, I pushed down and felt his finger slide inside me I relaxed around him I began to thrust myself on and off his finger. Eyes blown wide at my motion he watched in awe as I felt the sensation of something inside me for the first time, something I wanted.

"That's right baby take it slow ok?"

"I want another, stretch me more."

"Nico, we don't have to…"

"Damnit Will I want to fuck, now put another finger in me now!"

Without hesitation he slid a second finger in. I took lead in the movement. It felt good, strange but good. Not at all like I remember. Taking a hand and slowing my hips he crawled up and popped my dick in his mouth again….that's when he crooked his fingers. Fuck! Black spots danced in front of my eyes and the room flashed into negatives. Pressing that spot inside me in a relentless rhythm I felt his hand move and hook. It was too much, too much in the best way possible. I came without warning, like hitting a brick wall. Screaming his name like a prayer I milked myself inside his mouth as he kept me deep in the back of his throat. Before I could collect myself, he asked me to turn over. I obeyed without thinking and got onto my knees, I told him to fuck me, and I was going to let him. I heard him lube himself as my afterglow hit me. I expected to feel his cock but instead I felt him between my thighs. Lips kissed my neck as he thrust between my legs. Grabbing my hair, I felt him lightly bite my shoulder as he came.

Turning my head to kiss me we fell to the side and passed out.

(Time break)

Waking up slowly, and naked, I found that I didn't have a hangover. I felt really good actually. Will was nuzzled deep in the crook of my neck while I was on my back, he was on my chest. Feeling him stir, I danced my fingertips along his shoulders urging him awake. Looking up at me he smiled.

"Morning."

"Same."

"Want to order in some breakfast?"

"Yes."

After a light makeout and some coffee, we dug into a full breakfast feeding it to eachother. This must be what heaven feels like.

"Want to talk about last night?"

"Yes, I do. Am I in trouble?"

"Why on earth would you be in trouble?"

"You know why." He sipped at his coffee and put it down. Tapping his chest, we got into safety position. I laid there listening to his heart and the reverb in his chest as he spoke holding me around the waist.

"You weren't ready, not yet. So, I kinda did the blowjob thing on purpose to make you cum quicker. You let me have free reign over your body and I cannot tell you how much that means to me, that you trust me like that. Watching you fuck yourself on my fingers…Huge step in your recovery. You let someone breach you."

"I let you breach me, I trust you."

"I know and that's overwhelming in itself. Then you let me take you from behind, I know I didn't penetrate but you let me come at you from that position. I didn't see that coming. You did all that with no trigger. You are a marvel. I am not sure how you will react without alcohol, but last night was special."

"I thought so too. Seriously Will, you are a miracle worker. I never thought I would be able to ever experience those things, but you made it happen. You are going to get me to my goal, hell I would have let you last night."

"I know, but I knew deep down you might not actually be ready. I also don't want our first time with me on top to be drunk. "

"I wasn't that drunk."

"Still, I want it to be clear headed."

"Yeah, you are right. Can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot"

"Why are we not hung over?"

"Casinos pump oxygen into the building, keeps you from getting tired and from hangovers. Keeps you from being to sick the next day for gambling. "

"Cool."

"yeah, it is."

"So, why did you think I wasn't ready?"

"That's a big step and we need a bit more time. Maybe work on the finger stuff a bit more. Sober."

"Ok, I'm sorry I tried to rush."

"I understand. More than you know."

"Will, have you ever been…violated?" I felt him suck in breath and pause for a few moments. Then…

"What gave me away?"

"Because you always seem to know how I feel, and its not just the experience and the Doctorates. I could tell by session two." At that he moved his hand down my spine in a loving caress.

"I wasn't much older than you were, 18. I didn't actually get my growth spurt until I was 21. So I was small for a while."

"How tall?"

"Of course you would ask that (Laugh) I was 5'6" then shot up to 6ft in college. Anyway, I was cornered by three guys in a bathroom. Nazi types. Kids that were all raised together with hate filled parents. They all had shaved heads and hated anyone who wasn't white or straight. I was openly Pan, I never hid it. They thought they were teaching me a lesson, I guess they figured I would never want to sleep with a guy again after it. I was the opposite actually. I sought out sex, tried to cover my pain with promiscuity. Thought I could make it ok in my mind if I just had sex with anyone who would have me. Fuck the pain away. It only made it worse. My dad tried to get me help but it didn't work. Then I started having panic attacks during sex, it got worse and worse. Then I found a relationship that helped. They were patient and we built up to sex slowly. Never holding it against me when I couldn't do it. I found out later they cheated on me but that's besides the point. I knew from there it was about patience. It was about waiting while still building. I went to med school and threw myself into school hardcore for the next decade. I knew I had to help other survivors. I knew I had to find a way to get people like us through it. To come out the other side."

"Will, I love you. I am not sure if I am in love with you, but I love you as a person."

"Are you falling in love with me?"

"I don't know. I know I trust you. Would it be bad if I did?"

"While in the study yes."

"Then it's a good thing I don't know, but I love you as a human. I know that much."

"I love you as a human too Nico."

"Could someone like you fall in love with someone like me?"

"You are easy to love Nico, Falling in love with you would be very very easy."

"That's not what I asked."

"I know, I reserve my right to answer after the study is over."

"Same."

I guess we will see where the chips lie later, for now we love each other as humans.