Chapter 8: Everybody was Kung-fu Fighting

The remaining genin teams gathered in the tower as Anko addressed them.

"Good job passing the 2nd part of the exams! You now have 37 seconds to feel relieved! . . . Okay! Time's up, now we move on to individual fights!"

"What the HELL? We nearly got killed by an S-rank missing ninja and we get 37 seconds to recover?! I can't even heal that fast!" Naruto took it upon himself to let everyone know his opinion. I really need to talk to that kid.

"Naruto, I'm going to give you a bit of friendly advice," He looked at me hopefully. "Shut up before you make an idiot of yourself. Some things are secrets for a reason, you know."

Naruto's face scrunched in a scowl. "Obito, I don't really care. People already think I'm an idiot. I may as well have fun with it!" I face-palm. He really needs to just shut up.

"Listen, both of you! In the shinobi world, violence is always the answer! If it's not working, you aren't using enough!" Everyone turns back to face Anko. If I didn't think so before, it is painfully obvious she is insane.

"I agree." Everyone, even the jounin, turn to who had just spoken. A red haired boy from Suna agreed with Anko... What is this world coming to?

"OKAY! Let's just start the matches!" With Genma's uplifting words, we all head for the balcony to watch the genin kick the shit out of one another.

- A few random fights no one cares about later -

"Next fight: Rock Lee vs. Gaara." As soon as the match began, the sand in the red-haired kid's, Gaara, gourd started to move. He controlled it with chakra!

"I've got you now." Gaara currently held Lee in a sand coffin.

"Thats what you think! Now face the fury of my youthful ninja weapon of death! And YOUTHFULNESS!" Lee pulls out his "weapon" and everyone face-palms, except Gai.

"Way to go Lee! Your youthfulness is an inspiration to everyone!" Gai cried youthful tears for his student.

Gaara just stared at Lee with disbelief. "Thats a toaster."

"A ninja toaster!" Lee held his toaster up proudly.

". . . I'm pretty sure its a regular toaster." Lee tossed the toaster and began to shout again.

"You are more preceptive than I anticipated. Now time for my dramatic and youthful escape!" Lee then pulled out another "weapon" to escape.

". . . This is getting ridiculous, even for my standards." Lee held up a blender and Gaara just used the sand to knock Lee unconscious.

"If I kill him, his blood may infect me with his insanity. He really needs help." Konoha must have completely obliterated the MSR to let him become a shinobi. It was scaring me that I found the enemy Jinchuriki that would randomly go off on killing sprees more sane than a fellow Konoha nin.

"Winner: Gaara!"


"Next fight: Naruto Uzumaki vs Kiba Inuzuka." The two faced each other. Let the trash talking begin!

"Wow, I sure am lucky. I get to face someone even more stupid than I am!" Kiba looked smug and Akamaru jumped from his hood and let out a bark.

I turned to Kakashi. ". . . Wait, did he just admit he was stupid?"

"Yes, he did. Akamaru apparently realised this as well."

". . . You can speak dog?" He looked at me with a "well, duh!" look on his face.

"Obito, I summon dogs, so yes, I can converse with dogs." Well, I was his teammate for years, and didn't know that. Awkward moment.

"Well I'm going to be hokage!" Naruto looked very confident.

"Is that his reasoning for everything, Kakashi?" He nodded. "You deal with that everyday?" Another nod. "Well... Sucks to be you!" Rin had to paralyze Kakashi to keep him from maiming me. Good old Rin. Good to know I can count on her to keep Kakashi from following Anko's nindo.

"Winner! Naruto!" Dang. I missed the whole fight. I guess laughing at Kakashi's misfortune was more fun than I thought.

"Obito! Did you see me kick his butt?" Naruto was literally jumping for joy.

"... Of course! You showed him! Look, the next match!" Dodged that bullet.

"Next match: Hinata Hyuga vs. Neji Hyuga." Well this will be an interesting one.


I watched as a cute timid girl faced up against an older boy. Family rivalries are always eventful fights. From the looks of it, she is the main family and he is the branch. I'm just glad the Uchiha clan wasn't f**ked up enough to create something as stupid as that.

"Hinata, you are pathetic and weak. It is your destiny to lose. Surrender and save yourself from the humiliation of defeat." Hinata started shaking. "See, you can't hide your fear! I am stronger than you will ever-"

"OH KAMI! Will you please SHUT UP!" The whole room went silent at the small girl's outburst. "I've never seen someone hold their head so high while talking out of their ass!"

Every person had a WTF look. O_o"

"W-what?" Neji looked like Hinata just kicked him where it counts.

"You heard me! I can't even imagine how you can take more than two steps without tripping over the giant pole up your ass!"

Neji charged at Hinata and hit her in blind fury. "Clearly you are incapable of appreciating my genius."

Hinata just stood laughing manically. "You know that thing you just did? Don't do it."

"Maniacal laughter is inappropriate and unbecoming." Neji slipped back into the Jyuuken stance.

"Wow, that was pretty good. I'm surprised it came from your mind." Hinata copied the stance.

"Is some fighting going to actually happen?" Kakashi seemed bored out of his mind. I, on the other hand, was enjoying myself immensely. This girl is the Queen of witty comebacks!

Neji and Hinata traded strikes. While Neji was faster, stronger, and more experienced, Hinata's personality change threw him off. She easily knocked him down and held a kunai to his neck.

"Word of advice, never mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud. The fact that you aren't horribly maimed is enough reason to celebrate. Woo."

"W-winer, Hinata!" She walked off the floor like she owned the place. I have got to get that girl to share some comebacks! She is a natural!

"I think I'm in love." Sasuke was enamored by this strong Hinata.

"You can say that again." Even Naruto was amazed.

"Hey, what about me?" Sakura is whining as usual. Naruto and Sasuke looked at Pinky, then Hinata, and finally at each other. They looked back at their teammate and what they said made pride bloom inside me.

"We would explain it to you, but we're out of crayons." They walked over to Kakashi slapping high fives as they passed.

"Burn!" Kakashi was reflecting the same pride as I.

"you can be so cruel! Sakura can't help if she's completely useless!" Rin always is sticking up for the poor girl. She's just an angel like that.

"I'm just going to go drown myself in shame." Sakura slinked away. I wonder if I can form a genjutsu to make someone drown in shame? I'll try it out later.

"Okay, that concludes the prelims! The finals will be posted tomorrow. Usually they would be ready, but the Hokage went into a state of shock during the last match." Genma dismissed the genin and let out a relieved sigh. "I've got to get that girl to teach me how she does that! That would make proctoring a hell of a lot more fun!"

A/N: This chapter is... meh. I really just wanted to write something funny. CRACK! Don't like it, don't read. I LOVED writing Hinata's lines! I would so love it if this happened. Can you imagine? Shy Hinata having a total badass attitude when everyone least expects it? OH YEAH! :D Love Lee's weapons! Kitchen appliances are deadly! :P

The results for the third teammate are as follows:

Minato: 2

Shisui: 2

Tobio: 2

Yakumo: 2 (1 review, 1 vote)

Everyone else: 1

Pick from the top four listed to decide the final teammate! Don't forget!

Manga-neko signing out! :3