So tired that I couldn't sleep

So many secrets I couldn't keep

Promised myself I wouldn't weep

One more promise I couldn't keep

Runaway Train: Soul Asylum


Ch. 9 Runaway Train

Jared's Pov

The sun was bright as it penetrated through my closed lids. I opened my eyes to yet another reminder that I no longer had a home. I immediately felt the familiar pull to go back to La Push. It was strong, but over the months it had lessened, or I had gotten used to the discomfort. I didn't know which.

In the beginning when I first left, the pull was so strong, it almost overwhelmed me. My chest would constrict as if I were being embraced. The pressure would squeeze around my lungs until I was out of breath and panting. Every time I thought of turning around and heading back to Washington. I remembered the way it felt to see my fiancé snuggled into the side of my best friend. The way my blood boiled when I realized my brothers, my pack, my Elders, my tribe, they had all betrayed me.

No, I wouldn't return to the people that had made a fool of me. The wolf had taken too many choices from me, but I refused to let him have my dignity. I would fight him until he agreed with the man inside me. It was a constant tug-of-war. Man vs. Wolf. I felt it deep in my bones that as long as the man inside me fought, the wolf inside me would abide. We were after all the same person. We could find a way to protect as we were born to do, without losing ourselves to one another. I just had to be stronger than him, for now at least.

It was with that thought that I pulled myself up. Fuck, I hissed. First and last time I sleep in my truck, I grumbled. I opened the door and stepped out. I squinted against the too bright sun as I stretched. My back ached, my neck felt stiff and I was pretty sure I had a seat spring lodged in my ass. I walked to the tree line to piss. The scent of damp moldy leaves assaulted me. The forest was already showing signs of color as summer turned into early fall. With my supernatural eyesight I could see the subtle changes around me. The once green leaves were now yellowed ready to turn orange. The squirrels were busy gathering the food they would need for winter. It was hard to believe I'd been away from La Push, the pack and Kim for almost four months. Some days seemed to pass with the slowness of molasses, others flew by in a blink and you miss it kind of way.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts, and walked back to my truck. I pulled out the map I had stashed in the glove compartment and searched for my next temporary home. I knew the pack would look for me. I made sure never to stay in one place longer than a few weeks. Work was easy to find. They were shitty jobs, hard labor but with the wolf that resided it me, it was easy work. No one asked your name for a job that no one else wanted to do. They weren't the most glamorous of careers, but they paid cash and under the table. I sure as hell didn't remember anyone coming to the high school on career day to discuss becoming a roofer. There is nothing worse than the smell of hot tar, I thought remembering one of my first jobs.

Between the money I earned working, and the cash I'd withdrawn from the bank when I left La Push, I was doing pretty well. Course, I didn't have any bills, mostly I stayed in cheap motels and ate drive through greasy burgers. I busied myself studying my map, finally deciding on a destination. I stowed the map back in the glove compartment, buckled my seat belt and started the truck.

Wyoming, here I come, I thought as I drove down the dirt road until I hit pavement.

Leah's Pov

I walked into the council building, another change after D-Day as I now referred to it. Every pack meeting was now held at the council building with the Elder's present. I took my seat and pretended to give a damn. It's not like anything new would be discussed. It was always the same shit, just a different day. Billy wasted no time bringing the meeting to order. "Is there any news of Jared?"

When we had first learned that Jared had left, Sam had ordered the pack to search for him. We'd been dispatched to run as far as Seattle. There was no trace of him. He'd had a head start and by the time the pack had realized Jared was missing, he was long gone. I wanted to celebrate. I wanted to fist pump the air, and shout my congratulations. He had done what I wished I had done. What I should have done, when I had learned about Sam and Emily.

I shook my head free of the memory and listened as Sam, our almighty Alpha reported, "No. We have found no scent trails and there have been no sightings." No one had seen or heard from Jared, since he took off. That was nearly four months ago.

Billy shook his head in disappointment. Jared's disappearance had been a big upset for the council. The Elder's had gone crazy when they found out he had left La Push. His leaving had forever changed the pack. Hell, the whole shit storm had changed everything for a lot of people. The honor that some of us had once felt in our role as tribe's protectors, was replaced by shame. The entire pack had been betrayed by our leader. We patrolled, we followed orders but Sam could have no doubt, it was without choice. None of us would follow him if we had an alternative.

I glanced at Jake who sat at Sam's left. His face showed no emotion as he listened to the meeting's proceedings. He was still a mystery. He had never spoken about what went down. As the rightful Alpha, he was able to hide his thoughts in the pack mind. So none of us knew what really happened with his and Bella's friendship, other than it was long ago over. I had thought, hoped even, that he would take over as Alpha after everything came out, but he didn't. With Jake not claiming the Alpha position and none of the rest of us wanting to follow Sam, Quil challenged Sam for Alpha. He had the next strongest bloodline. But Sam had made it clear with masked threats he would keep Claire from him. Quil couldn't do anything. Embry didn't have strong enough blood ties to challenge Sam and Seth was too young and still in school. As much as I wanted to be away from Sam's tyranny, I wouldn't put Seth through having to watch as Sam and I fought for the title. That left us with no choice, once again, except for Paul and he would have been even worse.

I shifted my gaze from Jake to Kim. She was huddled next to Emily, who had her arms wrapped around her, comforting her. They were their own pack. A pack of whores, I thought. I rolled my eyes when Kim's cries reached my ears. The tramp cried every time Jared's was mentioned. She was a good little actress, I'd give her that. But I knew better. I watched. I knew she and Paul were still sneaking around.

I knew Sam and Emily knew they were still messing around, hell, those two had known all along. If the Elder's knew, they were keeping a closed lid on the affair. But the rest of the guys didn't. I was just waiting for them to slip up and get caught. All hell would break lose when Embry, Quil and Seth found out.

Paul…He claimed to miss Bella, just as his little slut claimed to be heartbroken over Jared. He talked about being sorry, and wishing he could go back and change things. But I had to wonder if either of them knew the meaning of sorry. I mean how sorry can you be if you're still fucking the person you were caught cheating with?

I perked up hearing Sam ask Kim if she had talked with Mrs. Cameron. I did my best to hide my giddiness. Apparently Jared had called home at some point and given his mom a few details such as his fiancé was a cheating whore, his best friends were pieces of shit and he wasn't coming back. Evelyn Cameron had chewed Kim up and spit her out. Seth had been in the Ateara market when Kim walked in and ran into her.

When Seth had phased, I had enjoyed a front row seat to the show.

Kim hiccupped, "No, Mrs. Cameron won't speak to me."

"Ouch," I hissed when Seth pinched my leg.

"Stop laughing," he scolded barely able to contain his own mirth. The whole thing was like an episode of The Young and the Restless, the acting was just as bad too.

"Sam have you had any luck reaching out the Cameron's?" Old Quil asked.

Sam shook his head no and sighed. "No, Mrs. Cameron isn't my biggest fan right now."

Understatement of the year, I thought. Seth pinched me again when I snorted a little too loud.

"They blame me in part for Jared leaving. Neither Mr. nor Mrs. Cameron is willing to give us any information." Sam elaborated.

After the discovery of Jared's 'defection', Sam had gone to the Cameron's. Evelyn Cameron answered her door with fire in her eyes and poison on her breath. She read Sam the riot act. She didn't know everything, but she knew enough. She and her husband blamed Sam, the Elders and the rest of us, for Jared leaving.

"His brother, Ben?" Old Quil prodded.

"No. If he knows where Jared is, he's not willing to tell us." Sam explained.

I swear they didn't know when to leave shit alone. Did they really think Jared's brother would sell him out?

Ben Cameron was four years younger than Jared. He and Jared were always extremely close. Even after Jared phased, he had managed to keep a close relationship with his brother, something that not all of us had been able to do with our family members who remained in the dark. Jared had watched and worried when we had a surge in vamp activity a few years ago. For whatever unknown reasons, Ben had never phased. No one could figure out why, he was the right age and from the right bloodline. Jared didn't care why; he was just relieved his brother had been spared.

I watched as Sam and the elders whispered with one another. No doubt plotting the next move in what I like to call 'Operation Fuck Jared over some more'. I couldn't believe who Sam had turned out to be. I'd loved him from the time I was too young to really know what love was. We'd dated all through high school, got engaged and then Emily came along. I could admit it wasn't either of their faults. It's the way they went about it that hurt the most. I felt like my life had been stolen from me. A life that was supposed to be me and Sam, married with kids. The whole happily ever after bullshit you grow up dreaming about. But now, after everything, he wasn't the person I once thought he was. Maybe he never had been. He was cold and manipulative. He had proved throughout this whole mess that he'd stab you in the back if it benefitted himself.

He and Paul had grown close. I guess that shouldn't be too shocking, considering. Those two were always together. Of course no one else in the pack would talk to them. Embry, Quil and Seth were tight with one another; each felt guilt over their parts in what happened to Bella. They had been her friends before the imprint was known. They had ignored the years of friendship and sided with Paul… their brother. No questions asked. They believed him even when he had never done anything to deserve their trust.

Bella had been right, nothing mattered except the pack. She had learned what I'd always known. I still didn't like her, but I did feel bad for what happened. She didn't deserve that.


Beta: Feebes (Hearts You)

Thank you for being so patient for the update. It's been a rough few months and I had this chapter thisclose to being finished and one mis-click of the mouse and I lost every word... Yeah, it was painful. Thank you to my dear friend and wonderful writer Dragonfly76 for talking me off the ledge.

Check out: American Wolf in Forks by Feebes. It's fantastic!

Firefly by Dragonfly. It will make you smile.