Brenda read the message again thinking she'd only imagined that's what the tiny print on her screen said. But she hadn't imagined it at all. It was there in black and white. And from her squatting position her legs gave out from under her and she collapsed to her knees. She hadn't expected to hear from Sharon again…not for awhile at least. But her heart started racing as she scrambled in her purse for her missing glasses. The darkness of the room didn't help her cause but eventually she put her hands on them and quickly pushed them onto her nose and read the message again.
Isn't that what you wanted?
The blonde thought for a moment what Sharon meant by the cryptic question. Of course she could obviously be referring to the kiss and the same sentiment she repeated before leaving her standing breathless and on wobbly legs. Or she could mean when she left with Flynn and Brenda felt like someone had punched her in her gut.
For a split second Brenda thought against replying to the message at all. Sharon had clearly made her decision when she left with Flynn.
Picturing them together at the party…and in her mind after…she hastily typed out a response.
No. I didn't want to see you plastered to Andy if that's what you meant.
Rising from her kneeling position she made her way back to the couch. The last half of NCIS was now a distant thought. She mindlessly worked her mouth in different directions while she stared at the screen. It wasn't long before the reply beeped in startling her. She quickly turned the sound off so not to disturb Fritz. Looking towards the bedroom, she made sure everything was still quiet. The last thing she needed was Fritz waking up and peppering her with a dozen questions or more.
What do you want, Brenda? Sharon wrote. The tone was evident even through a text message. Sharon was frustrated and getting more and more upset.
Honestly, she didn't know what she wanted. No, that wasn't true. She knew exactly what she wanted. But was it possible? And would her want be reciprocated?
She thought for a moment before typing. Once she sent it she couldn't take it back.
I want it like it was in Georgia. Taking a deep breath she hit send and waited. She'd never experienced anything like she had in Georgia. Sharon Raydor made her feel more of herself than anyone ever had. She felt the fire light within her and she needed to feed it and there was only one person who could fulfill her hunger.
It was just sex. Nothing more. The reality of those words almost made her sick.
Was it?
Brenda fell asleep on the couch clutching her phone and waiting for a reply. But one never came. And when she closed her eyes she wasn't in LA anymore…she was back in that little country house with the squeaky bed. And in the darkness the hands of a very attractive brunette caressed every inch of her body.
Sitting up in the middle of her bed, Sharon didn't know what to make of the whole situation with Brenda. Her head was so mixed up she didn't know what was right and what was wrong anymore. How could she answer the last question Brenda asked? Was it just sex? Maybe it wasn't. And maybe it was and if she said it enough she'd convince herself that it was just that.
But in her heart she knew it wasn't just sex. It was much, much more. No one had ever made her lose control like Brenda had in that dirty little bar bathroom. And never had she allowed herself to trust someone with her emotions and her sexuality as she had done with Brenda. She had always been the one in control.
She couldn't afford to make a rash decision in the middle of the night so she decided not to answer Brenda's question. Curling herself under the covers of her bed, the moments of the evening flashed through her mind. She'd almost made a big mistake with Andy Flynn. Before a few weeks ago it would have been less of a mistake but being with him now would only be her using him. And he was better than that. She was better than that.
….
The sun was barely breaking through the curtains when Sharon awoke to a loud, consistent banging on her front door. She leaped out of bed and threw on her blue silk robe. Having not gotten much sleep all night, her eyes were red and swollen. She pulled the door open without looking through the peephole.
"Rusty?" She asked expecting it was the boy already back from his long weekend at Kevin's. He had proven to be quite temperamental and anything could send him home early.
But it wasn't Rusty. Brenda didn't wait to be invited in. She barged in with her oversized purse over her shoulder and two disposable cups of coffee in her hands. Their eyes didn't meet. Sharon turned, confused, watching Brenda navigate her living room. Scowling, she pushed the door closed and bolted the lock.
"What are you doing here?" Sharon asked with her hands on her hips.
Brenda stood in front of the sofa still with the coffee in her hands. She looked over at Sharon who had made her way over from the door to stand across from her. "You didn't answer my question last night. And I want an answer because I don't believe what you said." Brenda sounded odd. Not like herself.
Brenda stretched her arm out and offered one of the coffees to Sharon. Their fingers brushed ever so slightly and their eyes met. It took just a split second for that "something" to pass between them before Sharon looked away. There was no denying it anymore. They both knew it was there.
"Maybe it wasn't just sex. But that's what it has to be." Sharon sighed and sat down in the side chair. "You can't have it both ways, Brenda."
The blonde sat down on the couch with a thud. Her mind went immediately to Fritz. She'd left him asleep at their house. With all the thoughts that were being batted around her head last night she did not want to face him.
She looked up and saw Sharon staring at her and she swallowed. Those green eyes cut her to her core.
"Why not? People do it all the time."
Sharon scowled deeply with her mouth falling open. She couldn't believe Brenda would actually say that. "Are you the same person? The same Brenda Leigh Johnson who is honorable and conscientious?"
Brenda stared at her hands as she rung them together. "Something changed. And I can't ignore it." She looked up and deep into the green eyes across from her. "And I don't think you can either by the redness in your eyes. Or did you just have a late night with Andy and text me in between your romps?"
Sharon rolled her eyes. "Romps? It's none of your business but Andy didn't stay and we didn't…romp." She watched the blonde's reaction to her statement. And deep inside she was delighted when it was evident that it relieved Brenda to know nothing happened between her and Andy last night. Brenda probably wasn't even aware that she gave anything away. But Sharon saw it.
"Fritz and I didn't do anything either. I slept on the couch." Sharon shrugged and opened her mouth to speak but Brenda jumped ahead of her. "And don't say you don't care because I know that you do. You can pretend you don't but you do. Something happened to you in Georgia too, Sharon Raydor."
They sat there staring at each other for a long time. Neither wanted to be the first one to flinch. Brenda watched as Sharon's chest started rising and falling faster and unevenly. She knew she was formulating retaliation.
Sharon couldn't deny Brenda's accusations. Something had changed in her. She didn't want to admit it even to herself. She thought about Brenda Leigh Johnson nonstop. And at night, she ached to feel her touch. At MCD it comforted her knowing that she was in Brenda's old office. It made her feel closer to the blonde. And even then sitting across from her she wanted to reach over and push the errant strand of hair behind her ear or feel the heat between them when she pressed the outside of her leg to Brenda's.
It drove Sharon nuts to have these feelings when she tried so very hard to discourage them.
"I told you I won't facilitate you being a cheater. Not again. I already screwed up once." They didn't break their eye contact. She wanted to make those words true but it was so difficult.
Brenda hung her head and in a weak voice that Sharon had never heard come from her, she said, "I need you."
The sharp gasp caught in Sharon's throat. Those three words cut her to her core because Brenda had never sounded so needy and vulnerable. She wanted to go to her. Comfort her. But she knew if she went that far she wouldn't be able to keep from touching her and if she touched her whatelse would she be capable of?
But not listening to her own reasoning, Sharon got up and sat beside Brenda on the couch. Their thighs and arms pressed together.
With trembling fingers Sharon lifted Brenda's chin until they were looking at each other again. "You make me break every rule I've set for myself." She whispered. "Damn you!" She leaned closer until their lips were touching. "Damn you" Sharon repeated against Brenda's mouth.
Sharon felt Brenda's arm circle around her back and grasp her waist. Just feeling Brenda's hands on her caused her heart to race even faster. Brenda brought her other hand to rest on Sharon's thigh. She could feel the brunette tremble beneath her touch.
She hadn't come to Sharon's for this. Honestly. She'd come to get answers and discuss the situation like adults. But from the moment the door opened and Sharon was standing there in her robe, every detail of her plan was forgotten.
Just about to break the kiss, Sharon felt Brenda soften against her mouth and open ever so slightly. The moan eased up her throat before she could stop it. But she didn't care. The kiss deepened as their tongues slowly massaged each other. As fast and hard as the kiss was the night before, this one was just the opposite.
It was re-learning, feeling, tasting…loving.
From somewhere in the kitchen, Sharon's cell phone rang. It took a few rings before the shrill pulled their attentions from each other. They broke apart both sucking in air.
As she got up to answer her phone, Sharon watched Brenda slowly drag her tongue across her wet lips. The feeling she'd had in the pit of her stomach sunk to a deep throb between her thighs. She was thisclose to forgetting everything she'd ever promised herself and Brenda.
"Hello?" She cleared her throat. From the kitchen she stared at the blonde still sitting on her sofa. "Okay. I'll meet you there. Text me the address."
Brenda stood up and turned. "You caught a case?"
Sharon slowly nodded. The heat still burned in her eyes. Her neck and chest still flushed red with desire.
She needed to get dressed and head to the crime scene but she stood still watching Brenda sashay up to her. Thinking Brenda was going to kiss her, Sharon took a breath and closed her eyes. But when she felt the pad of Brenda's finger over her parted lips, her eyes flew open. The knowing smirk appeared quickly on Brenda's lips as she raked her finger across Sharon's lips, over her chin, down her neck and chest and between her cleavage.
Sharon tried to swallow the bubble that enlarged in her throat.
"I'll come back tonight." Brenda whispered then turned and walked out of the condo without a further glance.
Sharon blew out the breath she had been holding and bent over at the waist.
Of all people why did she let this one get under skin…and into her soul?
