"Talk to me then whisper gently what you're doing to me

I can't seem to take this blindfold off

Hear me out with just your hands, tell me you're intrigued

Please use future tense when talking to me"

- Anchor & Braille - "Like Steps in a Dance"

Shepard placed her gym bag on one of the many unused crates littering the corner of the Forward Battery and sat down, crossing her arms as she watched her friend, Garrus tap at a console. There were many things that she had learned about turian body language from spending time with him and their unique physiology fascinated her. She'd learned to recognize the meanings behind the ways in which turians positioned their heads when addressing another, and when Garrus tilted his head as she entered the room, she knew it to be a gesture of greeting towards a superior. She'd also learned to interpret other clues such as the movements of the large, flat mandibles at the sides of their bifurcated beak-like mouths. It had been difficult to differentiate at first, but a quick flare of the mandibles could be an expression of surprise, aggression, fear, or even a smile. Once Shepard had learned what to look for, she'd found turians easier to read than humans. She also loved the unusual sounds they made when speaking and their eyes reminded her of eagles. Eagles, and dinosaurs, she thought as she caught a glimpse of Garrus' long and pointed teeth lying partially exposed under his mandibles.

He swung his long head in her direction momentarily before returning to his screen, his three fingered hands typing soundlessly.

"Shepard. You're up late. Need me for something?" he asked.

"I just thought I'd stop in and see how you're doing."

"I'm alright. I've been preparing a test fire pattern of the Thanix cannons to be used when we next orbit a suitably low risk planet," he said, flaring his mandibles in a turian smile. "These calibrations I'm doing day in, day out do serve some function, I assure you." Shepard smiled in return.

"I'll have to see that, and not just to give the CO's stamp of approval! Some days it's just nice to see something make a giant smoking hole in something else," she said with a sigh. Garrus turned from his console, his feet making a loud scraping noise on the steel floor.

"You're really here to ask about how I'm dealing with what happened with Sidonis, I imagine," he said and fluttered his mandibles in a manner that suggested politeness. "I... It's... I think you made the right decision, Shepard. He turned himself in to C-Sec for the murders of my team, but..." Garrus shook his head, his eyes hardening. "They don't know what to do with him because it all happened on Omega, outside their jurisdiction."

"Something will be done with him, and this way you didn't sink down to his level. I know that you wanted him dead, but now he has a chance to do something with himself. Taking away more life doesn't absolve what he did," Shepard said quietly. Garrus cocked his head quizzically, seeming to consider this for a moment.

"I know you're right, Shepard. I still can't help feeling a little bloodthirsty, though. Look, if it's... all right with you, I think I'd like to change the subject."

"No problem. I'm headed to the gym in a minute, you want to take a break and come with me? It's long after shift," Shepard suggested.

"You know, I think I just might. Do you mind if I meet you in about an hour?"

"An hour, Garrus? My slot's only for half an hour. Now or never."

"I can't leave my work unfinished. It'll have to be some other time."

"Alright, have it your way," Shepard said smiling at him as she slid off the crate where she'd been sitting. She picked up the gym bag, slinging it over her shoulder and headed towards the door. She heard Garrus trill a friendly goodbye. "Don't forget to save that test fire until I can come see it!"

Shepard looked out a nearby window to watch the flickering blue wisps of mass effect fields dance on a background of stars. Things were slowly getting better. More and more people had come to join her crew; something which left her feeling pleased and satisfied. It had been hard to gather them all, but at the very least in this moment she was confident that with effort and a little bit of luck, they stood a chance against the looming threat of the Reapers. Shepard's dogged determination to see the mission through to success had invaded every corner of her mind. She was tired of having dreams in which everyone she cared for were taken away by brown insect-like aliens for some unknown purpose. For one thing, the dreams disrupted her sleep. Yawning, she opened the gym door.

The room was lit dimly, the lights in the hallway filtering in through windows in the walls. Distractedly, Shepard ignored the light switch and went to bench next to a sink. She rustled around in her bag for her water bottle, popping the cap to fill it before looking around. The gym was empty, as she had expected, and she let out a heavy sigh, glad to be by herself. She reached up, undoing the buttons on her stiff jacket and preparing to take it off when the door to the changing room opened.

"'Won't wait forever,' what's that supposed to mean anyway, it's not like we're going anywhere," she heard Joker mutter sourly, heading for the door.

She jumped, startled at the intrusion. "Joker, what are you doing here? And what are you talking about? Is something wrong?" she asked, looking at him over her shoulder as her jacket dropped onto the bench.

"C-Commander," he stuttered, surprised. "You're here early."

She smiled at him, shaking her head. "No, you're just leaving late," she replied and rubbed her her shoulder. "Although I suppose it is so late that it counts as early."

"Right." He cleared his throat, giving her a wry smile as he came a few steps closer. "Coming to practise your presses in secret, huh?"

"Of course. I'll have to if I'm going to beat you." She looked down, rummaging in her bag and eventually pulled out a towel.

"It's all right, I'll beat Grunt first. That'll give you more time to prepare," he replied.

She looked up and started to realize that he had continued to move closer to her as he spoke. Startled by the sudden intrusion into her personal space she took a step back asking, "What's on your mind?"

"Um, Commander..." He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. "I... kind of... the other night. Um... I didn't mean what I said, you know? About it not meaning anything."

It took a few seconds for his meaning to sink into place and when it did, she found herself feeling confused. So if his expressions of concern, his touching my hand did mean something… She glanced at him and saw that he looked far more serious than usual, all traces of his usual mischievousness gone. She watched as he cast a sideways glance towards the door and then looked back at her. "What did it mean, then?" she asked, breaking the silence.

He seemed to be studying her; trying to gauge her reaction to his words. She looked back at him with a slight smile and he reached out to pick up her hand. Her heart began pounding as continued to look at him, but she didn't pull her hand away. He wavered for a moment - whether because his balance was unsteady or he was simply feeling unsure of himself – wasn't clear, but she didn't care instead remaining stock still to see what would happen.

He placed a hand on her shoulder, pulling her towards him. "Well, you know Commander, I'm not much of a people person but I make an exception for you."

Shepard tilted her head slightly, her forehead bumping into the bill of his cap."Oh, really?" she whispered.

"Yeah," he said and clumsily pressed his lips to hers.

Their arms slid around each other almost involuntarily as they stood locked in place. Then he broke off the kiss, stepping back to look at her and as her eyes met his she saw that he was smiling at her. A warm feeling flooded her chest and her heart began to pound so loudly she was sure he could hear it.

"Shepard, I don't know if you-" he began, but she cut him off, placing her arm around his neck and leaning into him as she reached up to kiss him in return. This feels right, she thought and felt him pull her tightly against him. They stayed in that position for what seemed like several minutes and when the kiss ended, she noticed that her throat felt dry.

He seemed to feel similarly for he cleared his throat before starting to say, "Shepard, I..."

"You don't always have to talk, Joker," she replied. Now it all makes sense. You behaving a little odd, being a little more concerned... it makes sense. This makes sense.

"It's not that, it's just basically the most inconvenient time ever for me to be called up to the cockpit, but my shift's starting," he said, looking off to the side. Shepard stepped back from him.

"Of course," she said, "go on, we'll talk later." She seated herself on the bench, watching Joker leave. I... am going to go back to my quarters. I need to think about this for a minute.

/

Shepard entered her quarters and leaned back against the door, looking across the room at the light that crisscrossed the ceiling, bounced off the wall and into the enormous fish tank. As she stared, she thought about what had just transpired in the gym. Memories of Joker flicked through her mind, each one as if it were a photograph. She recalled their intial conversation, his suspicions of her as just one more superior officer slowly dissolving over time and turning into friendly rapport. With fondness, Shepard recalled his deep concentration as he maneuvered the ship, his playful sarcasm and his roundabout ways of encouraging her even in the most difficult times.

She recalled their conversation after that dreadful day on Horizon. "I'm always here for you," he'd said. "Up here, with my things." And you'll never know how grateful I am for that, she thought, smiling to herself. Her breath caught in her throat as she remembered the warm feeling of his arms around her. She couldn't lie to herself; the gesture – and all it might mean - was unexpected, but it wasn't unwelcome. Again and again she relived the moment, only disturbed from her reverie when she noticed the blinking light on her personal terminal.

She pulled her chair up to the small computer at the corner of her desk and tapped in her password, idly running her hand across her closely shaven head. One new e-mail. Hope it isn't from Morlan.

Sender: Alenko, K "."

Recipient: Shepard, B "."

Subject: About Horizon...

Shepard suddenly felt as if she had swallowed a chunk of ice the size of a bowling ball. She stared at the subject line for what felt like eons before opening the message. At first, she couldn't read it for her eyes were too full of stinging tears. She swallowed hard, trying to suppress them. After what you said to me on Horizon, why are you e-mailing me? Why would you send me a note now? Who do you think you are? Shepard bit her lip and began to read.

She sat staring at the words one by one absorbing them as best she could. Her throat grew painfully tight as she tried to hold back her tears but she couldn't stop them from rolling down her cheeks. You're sorry for what you said? ... Your friends talked you into going out with some doctor, but it's 'nothing serious?' What does 'nothing serious' mean? ... Do I even remember the night before Ilos? ... Of course I remember. How could I forget? ... When things settle down... You don't know. What? You don't know? What? Shepard's thoughts were disjointed as she read the letter again and again, trying to find hidden meaning in his words.

Kaidan, why didn't you come get me? Even as the thought came to mind she knew it was futile. You know I wouldn't be with Cerberus if I had a choice. When you heard I was alive, why didn't you come and get me? Rank and file be fucked, I would have come for you. Shepard turned her head to stare at the picture frame a few feet away. In the picture, he looked just as he had the night before they had landed on the remote planet, Ilos. They'd made love that night and for weeks after it had been all she could think about. The memory of that night - and the feelings it engendered - were painful; - like fresh wounds in her mind. Her feelings for Kaidan hadn't changed – she loved him and when he had pulled away from their brief embrace; rejecting her, it had cut her to the core. He'd called her a traitor, implying that he didn't love her anymore. You can't just take back those things you said. 'I'm sorry for saying it' doesn't fix it. Nothing will fix it, she thought angrily but despite these thoughts, she reached out and took the picture frame from the desk, cradling it in her lap.