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Music for the chapter: Radiohead's All I Need & Barbarossa's The Load.

Asylum

Chapter 9

My fingers trace handwritten words on delicate paper. I try not to bear down, afraid I'll rip through the pages, but as time passes, as light turns to dark, I can feel my hand becoming heavy.

Each passage pulls me in. Reading a part of Angela I had not known before is almost too much to take.

I spend days poring over the book. Reading and making mental notes as I go.

It isn't until halfway through that I get a real glimpse of her.

"You were an Angel," I whisper into my empty room and quickly turn the page.

They cut my wings. I can still feel the harsh razor-sharp blade as it sliced through them. Still hear the thud as they hit the floor below. My own screams wake me each night as it replays in my head.

I even see their faces. Sad and pitying when they wipe the blade clean, whispering words too quiet for my new ears.

Worst of all? I now have two scars centered in my back. Reminders that I was chosen, that I was thrown from my home. I should feel grateful. I should feel humbled for being the one she wanted.

A tear rolls down my cheek as I reread her words. I picture my best friend, alone and hurting, and my fingers tighten on the page. Angry at the people who did this to her.

Angry at myself for not being able to trust her.

Humanity, I've learned, is something to be feared.

I feel as though I am an outsider, as if other people can see through my glamour. Like they can see past the pretty picture I've displayed for them. A happy smile and terrified eyes.

I've been here exactly one year and I can not find him. There is no trace. No scent. Just death and the realization that he does not mean to be found.

She will be displeased with the findings, but forgiving as always.

I flip through the book, watching the dates fly by, careful as I go, trying to find the she Angela speaks of.

I saw him with her today. A small girl, filled with hope in the arms of man, a demon, who looks at her with a flicker of something I can not discern. Something foreign. I watch his wings, how they spread around them when she plays. They mean her no harm, only protection. It's apparent in the way he looks at her. It confuses me.

When he smiles, the girl does not run in fear.

She's happy. Hugging him and pulling him all over her house as her mother gardens in the yard.

I report back soon after, and am asked to only watch.

I sit back in my seat and stretch. The image of Angela is screwing with my head as I look down at her book. A part of me wants to burn it, to unread what's been read. To erase it from my memory, but I can't. The nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach wants more.

I find it very easy to summon Masen. I'm not proud of my actions, using an innocent to say his name. His true name. It is the only way.

After almost 6 years of searching for him, it is my only choice. I can feel the shift. The unease in the air. The demons, those horrid creatures that surrounded Isabella's home alert me to it. They surrounded her, readying themselves for battle.

Hungry with want and thirsty with need.

Before I know what was happening I use what little power she left me and summon him.

He finds me shortly after, but won't answer my questions. He refuses to leave the girl. To go more than a few hours without her. It's alarming to see. To understand.

He says Isabella is none of our concern. She's payment for a debt owed. That she is his.

Something in his eyes tell me he's lying. That she's much more. She has to be. Why would they send me otherwise? Why cut my wings so I can walk and talk amongst them? Why put me with her?

It takes little time for him to threaten me. When I offer him protection, a place to get away from the Hells below. When I mention Isabella.

His onyx wings spread, blocking out the sun. The sky. The world. Their razor sharp tips glisten in the light as they shudder.

She's important to him. More important than I had imagined. Than we had imagined.

Demon wings leave a nasty scar. I'll most likely have to wear glasses to hide what he's done.

It's the day of Renee's funeral and he stands in the shadows, watching her. The dark shadows, his birds, stand at the ready at his feet. With hollow eyes they watch me, their heads twisting and their feathers ruffling. Long jagged teeth are bared and their talons dig deep into the earth as I try to remain motionless.

I can't help the tears that fall from my human eyes though.

I can't imagine the pain that child bears and I never want to.

Masen stops me when they leave, pain in his eyes as Charlie takes her far away from this place.

He tells me of the deal, but little more. He says it's dangerous for me, for her. I don't want to believe him, but I feel it. The change in the air, the howling in the winds. I feel the creatures under the earth as they move below us. Their need is so strong. Like something is pulling them forward.

Something is after Isabella, and when I look up at Masen, I know he feels it too. The edges of his dark green eyes blaze white with anger as he looks behind me. Her hands are on the glass as if she can see him.

How can Masen, a monster, care so much for her? How can he look at her with so much emotion?

She sends me to her after that. Changing me once again. Promising me no harm.

I am to help her. To befriend her. To protect her.

Before I know it, I'm with Bella everyday. Our lives become entangled and even though they tell me I can't; I love her.

I shut the book, trying to wrap my mind around what I've read. About Masen. Angela. A world I didn't even know existed.

I look out my window and sigh at the sun rising in the distance. Day after day for the last week it's been like this.

I spend all night pouring over her journal, and I still don't understand anything.

"What are you reading?" I jump, and almost fall from my chair as he laughs. When I turn I see Masen lounging on my bed, a smile across his face and his eyes closed.

His leather boots are crossed at the ankles and his arms are behind his head. His tattoos swirl over his arms, each fading as he flexes his muscles.

It's mesmerizing to watch. To see something so odd. So magical.

I don't know what it is about him. What draws me in. What makes me hate him.

Want him.

He isn't even looking at me and I feel like he's rummaging in my soul. Opening doors to places inside me I've tried to hide, even from myself.

When I look at him, I feel something I don't want. A longing. A desperation.

It's like I've lost something under a bookshelf. My fingers can feel its edges, almost wrap themselves around it. I'm frantic for it. And the further I reach, the further it falls away.

It's disturbing.

"You shouldn't be here," I whisper, trying to stop thinking about him as I tuck the book into the only drawer of my desk and shove it closed.

"Did you not miss me?" He cracks an eye open and turns his head toward me.

My stomach flutters when he smiles up at me.

I don't answer him. I have nothing to say. Nothing that won't make me sound even more crazy. I have questions, but I doubt he'll answer truthfully, if at all.

"Isabella," he whispers and the word wraps itself around my body, making me shiver. "I've been watching. You've been very busy."

"I know." I sigh, turning back to my desk. I have to look away from him, to stop the frantic beating of my heart I know he hears.

"Are you enjoying yourself here?" He sits up, his boots hitting the floor and echoing in my small room.

I choke on a laugh and my nails dig into my palm, drawing blood. "Is that a joke?"

"There's that temper I've missed." I hear his lighter as he strikes it. The unmistakable scent of smoke filling the air.

"They'll be here soon." I look back at him, uncomfortable with the way he looks at me. Like I'm something to consume. And for a moment I wonder what it would feel like.

"We aren't doing anything they'd disapprove of. Unless you want to." His eyes sparkle with mischief before he releases a plume of smoke into the air. Two perfectly shaped rings float upward before hitting my ceiling.

"Masen." I shut my eyes and shake my head. "Please don't do this to me. I feel like I'm going crazy and I can't stop you. I can't stop any of this. I can't take back what I've done. I can't fix Charlie. And you keep showing up, and it's like you're playing some game with me. Some sick game I don't even know the rules to."

"You aren't crazy. Not completely." He runs his hand through his hair, brushing it out of his eyes.

"And then you do that." I roll my eyes, my head already aching from being so close to him. "Is everything a joke to you?"

"You're awfully dramatic today," he laughs as I twist around in my chair, trying to will him to disappear.

"And you're enjoying yourself way too much," I snap back.

"Bella…" The corner of his eyes tighten as he tosses his cigarette to the floor, stomping it out.

"No!" I shout. "Don't you see? Nothing is the same anymore. Not just Charlie or Angela, but everything. I see things, Masen. Things I know aren't real, shadows, eyes, faces. What did you do to me?"

I've learned if I focus hard enough I can block out the things that seem to haunt me. When I'm angry or around Masen they seem to move closer, ignoring my desperate plea to leave me alone.

My heart is hammering in my chest, beating wildly against my ribs. I try to catch my breath. Try to look anywhere but at him.

"I told you things would change," he says, his eyes now filled with concern. "You have to understand, Bella. From the moment you were born, you weren't meant for this world. Every time they brought you back, when your heart stopped, it only brought those things closer to you. It brought me closer to you. It's not something I can stop, and I don't want it to either. I'm sorry."

"Are you really?" I laugh at him. "You seem to be enjoying this. My torture."

"That's enough, Isabella." The tattoos on his arms begin to slowly fade in and out as he speaks. The air around him buzzes and crackles. A small creature, no bigger than my hand, peeks over his shoulder. Its dead eyes on me as it licks its lips.

"Like that. That right there." I point, holding onto what little courage I have left. "Those things aren't natural."

"They won't hurt you."

"Oh really? Like the ones in the hallway that tried to eat me? Were those love bites? Their sick, demented way of showing me they were only concerned? Or was that another one of your games?" I hiss, my entire body shaking with rage and fear as the shadow creeps over his shoulder.

"Enough," he grounds out, his eyes flashing red.

"Oh, so that's all you have to say and I'm supposed to just stop?" My laughter becomes louder. Manic. "Fuck off, Masen."

"That isn't a very nice thing to say to someone who saved your father." He mocks, with a pleased smile.

I freeze, shocked by his words. Angry at him for bringing him up. For even thinking about Charlie.

"You need to leave." I stand, wishing they would unlock our doors already. That I could be anywhere but here. That the images of my dad, the blood, would stop.

"Is that really what you want?" He's in front of me before I can blink. His warm hands on my neck, his thumbs rubbing along my jaw. I taste his breath on my lips.

Honey and smoke. Lethal like a drug.

I try to shake him off, but my body betrays me and I lean into him.

"Dr. Carlisle says you aren't real. Just my mind protecting me." Even as I say the words I taste the bitter lie on my tongue.

"Who?" His eyes narrow and the green begins to fade into a bright, icy white.

In the distance I can hear Emmett rolling his cart down the hall, the wheels squeaking as he hums.

"You have to go." The words sting my lips and my stomach flips.

"What doctor, Isabella? Who did you just say?" He pulls me to him, clutching my face in his hands. "This is important. Do you understand that?"

I look up at him in confusion. The feeling of his skin on mine makes every nerve explode inside me.

"Who was the doctor?" He puts his hand on the door and I watch it shimmer under his palm. A shadow stops underneath and I hear Emmett's humming stop, before the cart begins moving again.

"Dr. Cullen?" I say, not understanding the big deal about my doctor. "He's been seeing me for days now. You've been watching me. You should know that."

He curses under his breath, muttering words I can't understand. His tattoos disappear completely as his wings spring forth, spreading across the wall. They inch closer to the ceiling, the tips of his feathers pulsating as his shoulders shake.

My eyes go wide as a growl tears through his chest and his lips curl into a feral smile. There is something very dangerous about the way he looks, the way he touches me.

Possessive and protective.

"Masen?" I ask, confused at what has him so angry.

"If he's here it's too late." His hand caresses my face, a tender action that surprises me.

"Too late?" I ask. "What does that mean? Is he like Alice? Like that thing?"

The shadow from before now cowers in fear on the corner of my bed.

"No. Alice is harmless, a watcher, much like the shadows. There are a few of those here already. Carlisle is much, much worse," he sneers and I see the fire in his eyes. The anger. "The things in the hall, what tried to hurt you, those were Carlisle's pets. Not mine."

My knees buckle as the weight of his words hit me. His arms wrap around me, catching me before I fall to the floor. I feel the brushing of feathers as he places me on the bed and bends down between my legs. I try to catch my breath, try to stop the ache as his fingers trace the palm of my hand.

I can't wrap my head around much worse. I've seen the shadows that lurk at the edge of my vision. Eyes that bulge and mouths that open too wide. I've seen smoke rolling under my door and heard cries fill my room that aren't my own.

I've felt the light touches of things I can't see. Their dark whispers in my ears as I try to sleep. They fill my dreams much like my waking hours. Always there. Always watching.

"Better?" He asks, taking my hand in his.

"No." I look up at him with tears in my eyes as my chest aches for more of his touch. "Why won't they leave me alone?"

"You're special. They want what they can't have, Bella." He kisses my cheek, and I feel him smile against my skin, his lips moving to my ear. "They want what's mine."

He strikes like a snake, his movements too fast for my eyes. His fingers dig deep into my hips as he pulls me forward. Closer than I've ever been to anyone. Smashing me to his chest, our bodies flush, as he whispers words I cannot understand in my ear.

Lips scorch my skin and my body trembles as his wings wrap themselves around us.

There is nothing between us. I try to breathe, to find my voice. I don't know if I want to tell him to stop or beg him for more.

My fingers travel on their own, winding themselves in his hair as his lips press against my skin. Heat consumes me, brushing its flames against my heart, and exploding inside me. Everything is on fire, from the tips of my fingers, to the ends of my hair.

"What's happening to me?" I whisper, panting against him. His hand travels to the small of my back, his fingers dancing over my spine.

"I've wanted to see a piece of me on you for so long." Teeth drag across my flesh and I bite back a moan. "Let me mark you, Bella. Let me taste you."

"Masen," I sigh, leaning into him.

"Just say the words. Tell me I can have you." He pulls back, staring at me. His green eyes paralyzing me.

"It's too much. I feel too much." I shake my head, trying to clear the daze that seems to possess me anytime he's near.

"I need you." It's not his words that stop my heart, but the look in his eyes. Vulnerable and desperate. "If you don't say no, if you don't stop me…" His words trail and I can't bring myself to stop him.

I don't want to.

I scream as he pierces my skin. Pain mixes with pleasure, and my vision blurs as I feel him drinking me in. His hands greedy in my hair as he moans into my neck.

I try to get closer. To feel every inch of him, but nothing works and it's over before I can beg him for more.

"Thank you," he kisses my lips, releasing me from his hold.

"What did you do?" I feel heavy, like a weight is on my chest.

When I look up I see the stains, a dark red trail down the corner of his mouth as it spreads into a dark smile.

"I did what I should have done months ago." His thumb caresses my neck as his eyes burn into me, making me shiver. "I made you mine."

How about I don't keep Masen away so long next time?

Anyone want some horror? Livie, Ragg Dolly, and myself have started a drabble Master of Puppets. Check it out in my favorites on my profile.