A/N: Thank you thank you lovely reviewers. Bit of an interlude here and a nod to Suiceene and a few others who pointed out that bouncers would have intervened with what was going on around the dance floor. It was one of my problems with the chapter but this shows what Katie's up to as she heads outside, before everything kicks off inside. Hope it answers some questions and the timeline doesn't get confusing.

Please feel free to let me know your thoughts.

EXPERIMENTS

By HeligenaGirl

A few minutes before-

Do it. A disembodied voice inside her brain hissed the mantra so loudly, she glanced around to see if anyone else had noticed.

Do it.

Tapping the square toe of her boot on the damp flagstones, Katie Fitch watched the small clumps of people in the beer garden congeal for a moment into one large group; a few stragglers making small talk with acquaintances then, without any kind of signal she could see, they separated again into their insular little herds. Odd ones lighting up a cigarette when the mood took them.

It all seemed so easy. Unspoken.

She'd felt like that not so long ago. She'd just strolled into these places and tracked uncomplicated shoeprints on the floor.

Do it, you pussy.

Pushing back her shoulders, she chugged down the dregs of her Bacardi and balanced the glass on the lip of the brick wall to her left. The latticework above it hummed with the vibrations from inside and she wondered for a fleeting moment if Naomi had gotten Emily to open up, even a little.

She hoped so. Sort of.

Before she could stop it, that familiar dull sensation of betrayal leaked out across her lungs again and it was all she could do to keep from touching the bruises across her ribs, her neck. She could have palmed it off as some sort of exercise in vanity but in reality she wanted to make sure they existed, make sure she hadn't just dreamt the whole thing up as a cheap way to distract herself.

From her own shit.

She couldn't deny it sounded like something she'd do, given the right circumstances.

Except Katie Fitch found a glitch.

Katie leant against the wall as she worked up the courage to implement her plan. The jangling butterflies were already circling in her stomach and it struck her as odd that the faded pink and yellow cracked paving slabs somehow seemed even dirtier with the thin layer of rain that soaked into them. Not quite as dirty as her soul though.

God, she wished more than anything she had the old Em there with her.

She wouldn't even have had to speak, just exist side by side, with the same childhood memories tiptoeing around in both their heads. Even if Emily hated the place and Katie loved it or vice versa.

Didn't make much sense when she thought about it logically, but standing there, wondering what was going on inside there was nothing else she wanted so much in her whole life.

Her throat scratched as she tried to clear it.

She hated having a dry mouth but couldn't go to the bar yet.

She hated not having a drink. She seemed to hate a lot of things but there was only one thing she hated more than weakness. Platitudes to explain weakness.

The problem was her mind seemed to be circling around a single quote Mr Morris had told them in R.E a month ago.

We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.

Emily had looked at her a little shyly, from the seat next to JJ and she'd pretended to not even be listening to the teacher prattle on about Buddha or Shiva or whatever hairy fat-bellied freak they were talking about.

But she had heard. Had seen Ems hurt when she hadn't looked back.

Stupid fucking platitudes.

Except it said exactly what she wanted back.

Just then a short girl with glasses started cackling across from her and for the first time Katie felt tears beginning to build behind her eyes. She blinked them away angrily.

Fucks sake.

She picked up her glass again to see if there were a few drops left but it was a forlorn hope.

"Look Em, see, one small fire and all of it just goes away."

Jesus. She didn't even remember feeling like it was a lie. Katie felt her throat constricting and swallowed hard, as if that would stop it.

"If we burn one piece at a time, we can handle it."

She watched as another girl with long, straight blonde hair flicked a lighter and her roll-up caught flared for a second then dropped back into a dim glow. Self-contained fire.

Chicken-shit...

Katie couldn't stand it anymore. Couldn't stand her own taunts. Walking quickly through the throng of people, she kept her eyes locked on the bouncer in the thick black coat, standing arms at his sides next to the fire exit.

Drawing on all of her bravery, hands beginning to shake a little Katie stopped right in front of him.

"Uh, hi."

He glanced down at her without expression as she looked for a name badge.

"Hi... Dylan." She took in his disinterested face and tried to push her fluttering stomach muscles down with a wrist. "Um I was wondering if you had a light."

Lame! Screamed her head. Progress, whispered her skin.

She pulled a cigarette out of her handbag and held it up, as if that would make her seem any less of a crazy person in amongst the throng of people enjoying their cocktails with casual ease. The bouncer, a tall faintly handsome muscular guy with a flat crew cut stared at her for a moment and she felt her chest beginning to tighten under her top. Her face start to burn with the effort of staying cool and calm when all she wanted to do was run.

Oh God.

She was within seconds of walking away again, not even bothering to think up a weak excuse when something in him must have relented because he reached inside his coat and pulled out a chunky Zippo lighter. He pressed it into her palm and Katie smiled gratefully. Trying not to notice the wariness in his stance.

"Keith would like that, he's into all that early seventies bollocks."

"Huh?"

He pointed to her asymmetric Credence Clearwater Revival t-shirt and she looked down with a quiet smile.

"Keith?" She frowned as she took a quick drag, a little put out that he hadn't at least lied and said he was the one into it.

"Front door." He motioned to his badge and she remembered the burly bald headed bouncer who had let them into the club.

"Oh." Katie nodded uncomfortably, trying to control her breathing.

Lame!

"So, can I ask you something?"

Her pulse quickened as she stared back at him worriedly. "Sure."

He folded his arms over his chest, "There must be twenty guys out here who have a light; why ask me?"

She hadn't expected him to be so direct and it threw her off.

When she took a second to think about it, it made sense, him being in security but for all that, with all the lies on her tongue, Katie didn't know what to say. The fluttering in her insides had migrated to her wrists and just seemed to block any coherent things she could come up with.

Staring at the rusting iron step behind him, she could feel him waiting, his eyes flicking between her and the crowds around them; as ever. Katie gave up and glanced over sheepishly.

"It was kind of a test."

He at least had thee grace to look surprised at that one.

She stared at her shoes, "I've been having a bit of trouble with...uh...I wanted to see if I could handle being with a...talking to a guy... again."

She mentally rolled her eyes at her own ineloquence and snuck a look around to see if anyone had overheard. No-one seemed to be paying attention but she leant in closer anyway and lowered her voice.

"I've been having these sort of...panic attacks I guess. It's like I can't breathe and then it's as if someone's sitting on my chest. Sounds stupid, right?"

She expected laughter but when she looked there was nothing but sympathy in his green eyes.

"Did someone hit you?" he asked softly.

Katie's head flew up in shock for the second time. "I...Not...Something like that."

All the air seemed to have escaped her and she suddenly felt drained. Exposed and drained. This hadn't been part of the plan at all.

"You're safe in here, you know that don't you. We won't let him in if you give us his name." Dylan smiled warmly at her and she felt a rush of appreciation for his kindness.

She crossed her own arms, "Is that even legal?"

He laughed again. "Just between you and me," He leant in, "Fuck legal."

Katie smiled then, a proper smile for the first time that night.

"Thanks but he can't hurt us...me, anymore." She corrected.

If Dylan read more into that than she offered, he didn't give anything away. He simply shook his head in the crisp air. "Still...Bastard."

He reached out, and for a moment Katie wondered how many pieces of protocol he was breaking as he took her hand gently.

"You still feel nervous?"

She squeezed his hand a little as she breathed out. "No, actually. Not anymore"

"Anxious?"

"Nope."

"Any chest pains?"

Katie waited for a moment just to check then shook her head. "Not one."

Drawing her in a little closer, his lips turned up a little, "Breathless?"

Katie kept her face straight although in truth she desperately wanted to grin, "Maybe ...a little breathless. "

Dylan stared into her eyes then.

"What do you say we get Karen to watch the front for a few minutes and we get Keith out here, make sure you're feeling properly safe before you head off to the bar?"

Katie shrugged but inwardly her whole body was tingling with a weird mixture of pride and elation. She'd passed the test. If she could spend even a few minutes with two guys at the same time, no-one could say she was broken anymore, could they. She'd done it.

Dylan winked at her, sensing her appreciation and pulled out his walkie-talkie.

After all, it couldn't do any harm could it?

A/N: Review and the Sun won't print topless pics of you...

(unless you want that sort of thing in which case they will...)